


Blessing of the Red Crane

by Lannakitty



Series: Defenders of Azeroth [4]
Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coda, Dragon Headcanon, Dragons, Dragons are kinda like big cats, Dragons are kinda like birds, Drama & Romance, F/M, Families of Choice, First Time, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Headcanon all around, Healing is an ongoing process, Injury Recovery, Jaina is awesome, Magic Geeks, Post War Crimes Novel, Post-Theramore, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Strong Female Characters, Therapy, jaina proudmoore has ptsd - post-traumatic stress disorder, sex with dragons in human form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-05-17 09:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 113,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5863483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lannakitty/pseuds/Lannakitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Thus is the blessing of Chi-Ji... Take this second chance and use it wisely."</i><br/>Post War-Crimes novel. </p>
<p>In the aftermath of Garrosh Hellscream's trial, Jaina uses her second chance to begin healing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First story in this fandom. Kinda nervous about posting. I honestly love Jaina. I feel for her and all she's been through. I'll be disappointed but not surprised if Blizz just goes "lulz! Crazy bitch!" and we kill her in a raid. I wanted to see, ya know, character growth from a character I've liked since WCIII who's really damn strong even if she's been brought to her lowest. So fic. After reading Tides of War and Dawn of the Aspects, I really loved how she and Kalecgos are the biggest magical nerds on Azeroth. I think they're sweet together, and they've both seen some shit and so deserve something nice. So recovery fluff (and probably pr0n) amid the rest.
> 
> Update note: Pr0n is in ch 3 and ch 10 and called with warnings. The rest is rated T at most.

Jaina tried to stay for Kalec, for Anduin, but she was so cold and it was becoming so dark. She could feel the warm, healing Light only distantly; it seemed to be growing further away. Kalec pled with her but he too seemed to be fading. She reached for him but her body would no longer respond. She could taste blood but that too was becoming dull. She struggled to see, her vision darkening on Kalec's anguished face.

Jaina Proudmoore died.

With a breath, Jaina lived.

She opened her eyes. A cool breeze washed over her skin. It stirred the hair and fur of the people looking down upon her. The heavy weight on her chest eased and the sharp pain faded. Sound and warmth returned. Gone too was the icy feeling around her heart, the one which had only just begun to thaw. Ice melted away as the spring wind, tasting of life, of hope, touched her. 

Jaina did not have to look far to find Kalec, who she loved more than her fury. She'd realized that almost too late. She reached for him and he pressed her hand to his cheek. His skin was wet with tears, once sorrow, now joy. Looking around she saw the relieved face of Anduin.

"You're getting good at this," she told Andiun, voice rough and worn as she made the joke. The Prince laughed somewhat shakily. His hands were covered in blood. Her blood. 

Kalec gathered her close, pressing his face to her neck, embracing her in the draconic fashion. She felt the ghost of a smile appear on her lips as was held, warm and secure. With each breath she lived a bit more, the ice and numbness and fog fading.

Jaina caught sight of Go'el and saw his family was present and intact as well. The sight filled her with surprising relief and it felt... Good. His and Aggra's totems were out and it was clear they had been trying to help heal her. He smiled at her but she was the one to reach out. They clasped hands briefly, not as friends once more, but they had been so in the past.

"Thus is the blessing of Chi-Ji," the celestial said, his voice as soothing as the winds from his wings. "No more shall die this day. Take this second chance, and use it wisely."

Jaina silently vowed she would. She found Kalec's hand and entwined her fingers with his. She pressed her face to his neck and found tears stinging her eyes. Varian was speaking but Jaina paid him only half a mind. She tucked her her head against Kalec's chest and focused on the sound of his heart and her own breathing. The simple act of drawing breath had been so difficult moments before.

The pronouncement that the Celestials had already known Garrosh's fate before the trial drew her attention. She frowned, trying to comprehend. Then comprehension came and with it some few tears. Jaina knew she had been on a destructive path. Recounting her losses had hurt, _Light_ how it had hurt... But it had also been cleansing in a way. It had helped to lift away the cloud of rage she had been under. She had been able to see the mistake she was making and to stop before it was too late.

Kalec squeezed her fingers as if sensing her thoughts. She squeezed back. No doubt they still had challenges ahead, but Jaina wanted those more than she wanted her hatred. They would, as the Celestials had charged them, go back and do what they must.

The Celestials bowed their heads and the assembled bowed back more deeply. Then the ancient spirits withdrew. Those who had gathered began to stir, aiding those who had been wounded, or worse. Jaina saw she was not the only shaky soul granted a reprieve.

Kalecgos gathered her fully into his lap, his arms wrapped around her. "I do not have words for how I feel right now," he said, his voice low.

"Think how I must feel then," she murmured back, drawing a loud bark of surprised laughter from the dragon. Others looked up and stared, startled by the outburst. Jaina didn't care. She smiled to herself. She had not heard him laugh in some time. It felt good. She felt... Good. Peaceful. And weary to her very bones. She leaned against Kalec, letting her head fall to rest against his shoulder. His chest rumbled, the sound felt more than heard.

"Jaina?" Varian crouched before her.

Jaina blinked and realized she'd dozed off. There will still many milling about so she had not been out long, but the shadows had shifted enough she noticed. "Yes, Varian?"

His smile softened his scarred visage. "You saved me."

Jaina smiled back, tentatively. "You've been trying to save me." 

She looked past Varian's shoulder and saw that Anduin was sitting beside Velen. His hands were clean, though they still shook a little. The Horde had once again clustered together as had the Alliance, but... it was not the tense standoff it had been nine days ago. 

Those who were independent of either faction intermingled with both sides and one another. Tyrande was speaking with Ysera and it was hard to say who was comforting whom. Alexstrasza held Aggra and Go'el's son on one shoulder as she and Aggara spoke. The child seemed to be entranced by the shiny gold bangles the Queen of the Dragons wore on her horns. Teran Zhu spoke with Varok Saurfang, both of whom looked weary. Low tauren chants of thanks to the Earth Mother intermingled with soft human prayers to the Light. There was no fighting. A profound solemnity filled the courtyard.

"Jaina?"

She blinked, her attention drawn back to Varian. He'd been speaking to her, asking her something. Her mind had wandered, still fuzzy at the edges. "I'm sorry, would you repeat the question?"

"The Pandaren have offered to send people home, but the temple monks have also offered food and lodging for the night here. We are all recovering but... but some of us more than others. What would you like to do?" Varian looked at her with increased concern as he spoke, her king's usual gruffness replaced with something softer and perhaps unsure.

Jaina honestly didn't wish to move, though she knew she should. She was warm and secure in Kalec's arms. The temple grounds were peaceful and she was so exhausted, her head still felt like it was filled with cotton. There was one thing she knew for certain, however. Jaina tilted her head, addressing the dragon whose lap she still sat upon.

"Will you stay with me?" she asked, hoping he would.

His answering smile warmed her heart. "Of course."

Jaina smiled in return. "I should return to Violet Rise," she said as she tried to get to her feet.  
"I should-" She found she needed Kalec's strong arm and Varian's steadying shoulder to stand. "I should see what I might do to help Chromie. Check in with my people." She pressed a hand to her temple.

"Chromie has gone for the moment, but I will make sure she knows you desire to help. Take your time, Jaina. Your mages have already been informed you're well. I'll send word you are on your way," Varian said, returning to his usual decisiveness. He shared a nod with Kalecgos. "I am leaving you an capable hands for now." He turned on his heel and strode off in Anduin's direction.

"Rest is what you need," Kalecgos said. "Chromie and the rest of the Bronzes will find them." 

She nodded and leaned against Kalec's side as they began to make their way to the Pandaren mages who were working to open portals. There were people sitting under trees or on the ground who had bewildered looks that matched how she felt. She recognized them as some of the earlier fatalities. Their armor and clothing was spattered with blood but they was whole once more. She met their eyes and they shared a nod, knowing they had been spared death. Jaina shivered.

The Pandaren mage who constructed the portal to Violet Rise looked on them with wide eyes as Jaina thanked him. Jaina noted this absently as she stepped through the portal onto the Kirin Tor encampment. The drizzle had let up somewhat and while things were still wet, she was grateful that she did not have to deal with a downpour as well. Perhaps she should just return to Dalaran and her quarters there.

There was a small gasp to her left. Jaina saw it was one of the apprentices who helped around camp, a human girl with short curly, black hair. The girl looked back at her with huge eyes, her hands had come up to cover her mouth. Every line in her body screamed horror. Looking beyond the girl, Jaina saw other mages too had paused in their work. They regarded the pair as they made their slow way into camp with looks of disgust, frowns or outright horror.

Jaina frowned. Kalec and she had walked hand in hand before. The blue dragon was well-known by now and shouldn't have garnered such a reaction, even if they didn't approve of the relationship. 

"Why are they staring at us?" she questioned, pitching her voice for Kalec alone. She would be angry later; for now she was just exhausted.

"They're not staring at us. They're staring at you, Jaina. Your robes are still covered in blood."

Jaina looked down and realized the state of her clothing for the first time. Her skin was whole, but a dark red stain, unmistakeable as anything other than blood, covered her torn bodice and robes. No one could have survived the loss of that much blood. 

She hadn't. 

Feeling queasy, Jaina looked at the expressions of her mages in a new light. Varian had said he would let her mages know she was alive and well, which meant they also knew something had happened at the trial. Jaina realized she would have to stay here, at least for the night. Returning to Dalaran would give the image that she had fared far worse in the battle. Truthfully she _had_ , she thought with a shudder. But her mages needed her to look strong, to be strong.

"Apprentice Niami," she said, voice rough. She cleared her throat and this time she sounded more normal. "Niami, would you see about having a hot bath drawn for me?"

The apprentice stammered something that sounded affirmative and the girl sprinted off into camp, boots slapping through puddles as she went.

Jaina continued to her tent, Kalec at her side helping her to keep steady. The lights were already on inside Varian's tent and she felt sure Anduin was in good hands with his father. They would no doubt arrive shortly. Vereesa was back in Dalaran and Jaina was grateful that she was with her sons and hadn't been present when their mad alternates had appeared. Granted, Jaina and the others were alive now, but the twins could have easily been orphaned.

Finally she arrived at her tent. The walk was not truly long, but she felt as if she'd been walking for miles. Jaina tugged on their joined hands, drawing Kalec inside behind her. She gestured the lights and the heating crystals to life. Suddenly Jaina felt as if she had moved a mountain. Abruptly too weary to stand, Jaina took an unsteady step towards a seat, leaning on Kalec to keep her balance. She caught the arms of her chair and managed to sit heavily rather than collapse to the floor. Kalec knelt beside her, taking her hand once more. 

"Jaina?"

"I'm okay. Just... No energy left." She was completely drained, she realized

His eyes grew unfocused as they studied her for a brief moment. He gently stroked a thumb over the back of her hand. "Your energy is already recovering. Slowly, but it is." 

She nodded. Her gaze moved from their hands to the dark, red stains on her bodice. "I should take this off," she mused aloud then felt her cheeks heat. Their relationship had been romantic and close, but they had not yet progressed to that manner of intimacy. There were many reasons but the savage anger she felt had been significant among them. "The blood, I mean," she said, hurrying to clarify. "I think I might have scared them," she said, gesturing outside to the mages.

"Their fear isn't anything on mine," Kalec said. He pressed a kiss to her palm then brought her hand to the side of his face. "I saw the reality."

"How did you banish the other you?" Jaina changed the topic, drawing her free hand through his blue-black hair. "I was busy with my own double, but I heard my name though."

Kalecgos drew in a breath then let it out slowly. "He was mad. Looking for death. Begging for it. He'd lost everything and everyone he'd ever cared for. He blamed himself." Kalec leaned into her touch. "But it was ultimately the choice of the Jaina in his world. As it was Aveena's."

"He went away as he began to understand that," she concluded.

Kalec nodded. He looked up at her. "And you?"

"She was isolated and alone, even from the Kirin Tor I think. No Varian, no Anduin. No you. She blamed Garrosh. Had personally slain him I think, but... Garrosh was the reason she was hurt. He was not the reason she _remained_ angry. I-..." Jaina paused as she stroked her fingers through his hair again. "You were right to tell me what you did on the beach. I told her that. Reminded her of what had been said. I- She was the one holding onto the anger. I'm glad I stopped before I became her."

"I am as well."

"I didn't want him to take me too," she said, voice wavering. She'd come so close to losing everything she cared for, which terrified her.

"He can't. He won't. _You've_ already decided."

Jaina licked dry lips and nodded, allowing herself to believe in his conviction.

"It hurts. Something like what you lived through will always hurt. But every day it will hurt a little less." Kalec smiled sadly at her. "I wish it could be sooner, but it is something that takes time." He pushed the remaining golden lock behind her ear. "Finding new things to smile about helps. I speak from personal experience."

He'd said things like this to her before, and while she'd listened, she'd never believed it. Now, she thought, maybe she could believe it would hurt less, that maybe he might understand a little. She leaned forward as he did and they kissed. It began soft and sweet but as Kalec deepened the kiss, something more desperate entered into it. Kalec's arms went around her waist and shoulders as she leaned into him. She began to slide off the chair into his arms.

"Archmage?"

He broke away and she made a small sound of protest.

"That's probably your bath," he said. Kalec placed another kiss on the end of her nose as he lifted her fully into the chair once more. "Go. You'll feel better."

She sighed and nodded, the energy dissipating into weariness. "Check on Anduin and Varian for me, please?"

He pressed a kiss to her brow. "As my lady wishes." With a smile and a courtly bow, he stepped back and withdrew from the tent, allowing a pair of apprentices as well as the camp's healer to enter. 

"Just one moment," Jaina told them, turning to her desk. She wrote a quick message to the council, informing them in short that Garrosh had escaped with the help of a rogue bronze and should they be asked, the Kirin Tor was pledged to help. She sealed the missive with wax and signet, Then, hands shaking, she pressed her thumb to the wax, willing magic into the seal as well, signing it with her mage's mark. Even doing that much was draining, but the apprentices were watching so she put on a mask and endured.

"This must go to Dalaran immediately. It is to be given to Khadgar or Modera," she ordered, handing the missive to Niami, the apprentice she'd seen earlier. The girl bowed then took off at a run to deliver the message in Dalaran. Jaina faced the healer and inclined her head, silently giving herself over. The pandaren women bowed in equal measure and offered her a hand out of her seat.

Healer Yu-len had dark hair and a bold blue streak that matched the color of her eyes. Her fur was black and white and she wore dark navy blue robes. A member of the Shado-pan, the healer had been sent to camp as a liaison as much as for her skills in healing. Jaina judged her to be about ten or fifteen years older than she and while Yu-len was not one of the most highly ranked leaders in the organization, Jaina had noticed the other members of the Shado-pan giving her due deference. She had not been disappointed in the healer's abilities.

The healer fussed over her and Jaina let her, too tired to protest. The remaining apprentice, another human girl, kept staring at the dark stains on Jaina's bodice. Jaina didn't remember her name, but she hopped into action when the healer directed her. Within minutes they had bundled Jaina up in a voluminous dark robe and had escorted her to the bathing tents. Word had clearly begun to spread around camp and even the more senior mages whispered and looked askance as she walked by. Jaina wanted to cast invisibility on herself. She was tired of the looks and the whispers that always followed her for one reason or another. Jaina sighed in relief when the tent's flap closed behind her.

Yu-len shooed the wide-eyed apprentice away after the girl had finished fetching and carrying. She alone of the people in camp seemed to be somewhat unruffled by Jaina's appearance.  
The bathing tent was one of the larger ones. Behind the privacy screen a single, steaming tub of water stood at one end of the enclosure, large enough she could fully immerse herself if she wished. There was a small table as well as a stool. The air was pleasantly warm and Jaina felt some tension ease out of her shoulders. The healer directed her to the stool and Jaina obediently sat.

"How do you feel physically?" Yu-len asked as she turned Jaina's head this way and that, and examined her eyes. Clicking her tongue, Yu-len unceremoniously undid the front closure of Jaina's ruined bodice and prodded the place where Jaina had been shot with gentle-yet-firm fingers. A very small, whitened scar remained where the injury had been, her skin healthy and unblemished otherwise.

"Tired," Jaina said, feeling awkward being poked and prodded.

"To be expected," Yu-len said. "The August Celestials can do much to rekindle a spark which has gone out, but they will not provide energy from elsewhere beyond that initial gift." She helped Jaina to strip fully and enter the steaming tub as she continued to explain. "Your own body fueled much of the healing. You will need rest and good food. Lots of good food."

"Fortunately I am in Pandaria," Jaina said, her tone light, as she slid into the water up to her neck. The food here was different from home, and the emphasis on food was different too, but she'd grown to enjoy both.

The healer laughed brightly and wagged a finger at her. "Very true, Lady. Very true. How are you feeling otherwise?"

Jaina contemplated that a moment. The healer seemed content to let her mull that over as she rummaged around in a folding case made of dark stained wood and began to pull out herbs and vials.

How did she feel? She'd... been killed. She'd died. And then the Celestial had stepped in, brushing death away with a gentle feathered wing. Next she had lived. The pain at the end was entirely gone. She'd felt such warmth and... relief? Caring? Hope? Feelings which had been dulled and distant were now much closer; good feelings she'd almost forgotten in the wake of Theramore. 

Theramore... Her memories hurt still, but as she recalled her home the ache did not feel as sharp. More surprising was, at least for the moment, she felt at peace with the fact it was dulled.

"I think," Jaina finally decided, "I feel lighter." _More like myself again_ , she thought. She had not felt this way in a long time, she realized. 

"That is good as well."

Yu-len tossed in handfuls of dried herbs into the bathwater then added the contents of some of the vials she'd pulled from her case. The steaming bathwater began to smell of jasmine and summer nights and something spicy and earthy Jaina could not name. Finally Yu-len set soap and bathing implements on the stool within Jaina's reach.

"Wash away the remains of today's battle and relax. You are safe and well. I will be close by if you should need anything." Her smile was motherly as she gently patted Jaina's shoulder. "And then we will see you have food and rest."

* * *

Kalec waited as the guard by Varian's tent spoke with the King and Prince. Kalec would have understood if they did not with to see visitors. It had been a tumultuous day and the King had been wounded in the fighting as well, though he'd recovered with the rest healed by the Red Crane. Kalec started from his musing when the guard returned to admit him into the tent.

Varian and Anduin both rose when he entered. Varian reached out to clasp hands in the human tradition. "How is Jaina?" he asked before Kalec could ask after their health.

"The healer is looking after her right now. She's trying to hold herself together but she's shaken."

"I think we all are," Anduin said as he pulled an additional chair over for Kalec. Sire and child had been seated at table by a warm brazier.

Kalec nodded and took a seat, feeling a bit out of place. Varian pressed a mug of beer into his hand, taking one for himself. Alcohol, at least in this quantity, had little effect on him, but Kalec understood the gesture.

"How are you both?" Kalec asked. "I saw you had been injured," he said to the king. "Was it your alternate that had wounded you?"

"I'm fine. My injuries were healed by the Celestials. I've been hurt before, I'd have lived. Mine wasn't as fatal as Jaina's." He blew out a puff of air. "I never saw my duplicate. Queen Alexstrasza told me that she was able to appeal to the father in the alternate version of me before he could leave the temple. Seeing Anduin alive and well here gave him pause. He decided I needed to remain alive so I could hunt down Garrosh."

Kalec's eyes widened. "Alexstrasza and Ysera. I did not see either of them come through the rift!"

"Kairozdormu, thankfully, brought neither a double of Alexstrasza nor Ysera," Varian said. "I can't even imagine what Alexstrasza might have done."

"Ysera would have been worse," Kalec said, quiet dread unfolding in the pit of his stomach. His interaction with the artifact that had allowed him to see Malygos' memories had given him a different perspective of the elder dragon. She of the Dreaming was willful and tenacious and since sacrificing her Mantle, she'd become sharp. Kalec shuddered.

"Ysera?" Varian appeared surprised by Kalec's words.

Kalec shook his head, trying to clear the frightening vision away.

"Imagine the Nightmares, Father," Anduin quietly spoke.

Varian made a thoughtful sound. Indeed, they'd all seen enough possible nightmare without a maddened Ysera bringing a corrupted Emerald Dream to bear on them all.

"Are you well, Prince Anduin?" Kalec asked. "Did I see correctly two of you were fighting Vol'jin's double?"

The Prince drew in a shaking breath then let it out as he nodded. "The other me went to be with our parents," Anduin told him.

Kalec bowed his head slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"No," Anduin waved his apology off. "No, Kalec, I'm actually grateful for your concern. It was... difficult. It's given me a lot to think about. The trial and the aftermath has given all us a lot to think about. How do you feel?" Anduin asked as he retook his seat.

"I feel as if I have flown through a hurricane," Kalec said after a moment of contemplation. "Some of the testimony was harder to witness than I had been expecting," he said, thinking back to Alexstrasza's part in the trial. "There were more personal difficulties as well. I thought I had lost Jaina to her hatred, but I hadn't. And then I lost her for good. And now I haven't."

"Seeing yourself from another timeline likely didn't help," Anduin added with a small grimace.

"That as well," Kalec admitted. He drank from the mug. "His madness was unsettling but it wasn't nearly as unsettling as..." he trailed off with a shake of his head. "I half-expected another quick turn of events when we arrived here."

"Light, no," Varian said with feeling. "I could not take another twist of fate today."

"Despite Garrosh escaping, I would not change things further, either," Kalec said. His eyes were drawn towards Jaina's tent.

"I think I feel the same, despite it all," Anduin agreed.

"We'll be following Garrosh. Chromie is already trying to track him down," Varian reassured. "He will be found and dealt with."

"She is a talented bronze," Kalec said. "I'm sure she'll find him. If there is anything I can do to assist, l will."

Varian nodded. "I'm sure she'll let you know. Tonight I think we're all..." he trailed off and waved a hand vaguely. "Regrouping. Rallying. Jaina wasn't the only one who..."

Kalec nodded. "I saw. I'm relieved the other Kalecgos wasn't as destructive as he could have been before he was able to be banished." Kalec shuddered. His duplicate had been courting death for himself, and so he hadn't turned the area into violet ash as Kalec knew he could have done.

"He might have been mad but your heart isn't dark, Kalec," Anduin said. His expression was solemn and there was a tingle of something powerful as he spoke.

Kalec looked over at the young man and smiled a little. They were all lucky to have such a soul in their midst. "And you are stronger than you realize, Prince Anduin," he replied, answering power with power as was respectful to do.

The prince ducked his head, perhaps a bit embarrassed but pleased by the praise. Kalec was heartened he did not shy away as many humans did when confronted with an intentional showing of power. Anduin would lead well when his time came in truth.

"I've bothered the two of you enough tonight. If you don't mind, I'd like to stretch my wings," Kalec said, standing. He gave Anduin a final smile and made his way to the entry flap.

"Of course," Varian said, rising as well to see the dragon out. At the door, he lowered his voice to speak. "I pray Jaina will have been healed by this."

"As do I."

Varian nodded then affixed Kalec with a startlingly intense look. He gripped Kalec's shoulder. "Jaina is the closest thing I have to sister. She has always been there for Anduin and me. You have been very good for her since Theramore. For whatever it is worth, I support your relationship."

Kalec bowed his head to the king in thanks. "She loves you and Anduin like family. I know it will mean much to her and," he smiled slightly as he spoke, "it means much to me."

"Be gentle with her heart. Of us all, she deserves some peace."

Kalec met the King's eyes and returned the shoulder grip and nodded. "I will," he vowed.

Kalecgos took his leave and walked to the edge of the encampment. It had begun to drizzle once more. Once he was clear of the tents, he shifted into his true form between one stride and the next to the startlement of the Kirin Tor mages still out and about, and the Pandaren in the area. He launched himself into the air, stretching his wings to their fullest extent.

He shot straight up, gaining height until he cleared the cloud cover. The sun had sunk low in the sky and would soon set. Gold faded to red and purple as rays of light danced across the dark clouds. He watched it for a moment then folded his wings and dove for the ground, aiming for the sea. The rain spattered against his scales as he cleared through the clouds once more, twisting his wings in a corkscrew. Just above the roaring surf he snapped them open and skimmed across the surface of the sea, salty spray washing over his scales, before lifting into the air again.

His counterpart had been so very broken. All their counterparts had been, but the death of Kirygosa, of Jaina, of _all_ the blues... The very idea made Kalecgos' heart sick. He tilted his wings and began a wide, sweeping circle. That future was not his, however. He'd made his choices and he could not control the choices of others, as much as he might lament their decisions. But there was always hope that-

Hope.

Kalec turned his wide circle into a tight lateral roll before levelling out. The words of the Celestials had touched his heart and that of his beloved as well. It had been painful to watch what had happened from her perspective. It had been torture to watch _her_ have to relive events. But maybe some good had come from the experience. Others had understood the depths of her devastation. Perhaps even he had finally understood her pain. And she... she had been able to let go of the shadow and had instead reached for him. Kalec felt he had all but literally seen the darkness begin to lift away and begin to dissipate. He flipped and began a series of loops in the air.

He had almost lost hope of once more being near the brilliant, kind, gentle soul he'd unexpectedly fallen in love with. The brilliance and understanding had been there still, but her kindness had been hidden under the pain as she pushed him away. It would not be immediate but he would see her fully once more. Light willing they would be able to move into a deeper partnership with one another. Not as if Theramore hadn't happened, that could not be, but there was potential for them to grow. More than potential. Kalec began to inscribe loops and whirls in the air as he had not done in ages. A giddy happiness filled his chest. His chosen consort had chosen him back and by the Light, she _lived_.

The dark duplicates had been defeated and in doing so, many personal demons had been slain. New understanding had been forged over the course of the trial between allies and enemies both. Garrosh, he felt with certainty, would be found and brought to justice. This chapter of life in Azeroth was closing for the good.

An old song of victory bubbled up in his heart, the ancient words spoke of a hard won battle with loss and pain and ultimate triumph. Kalecgos gave into the impulse, immature as it might be for a stately dragon such as he, to give voice to it. At least to hum a bit.

The sun had gone down as he'd flown but the fading light was hardly an issue for a dragon's sight. On the ground he saw the prince's golden head among the darker colors of the Pandaren. A figure in a violet robe with hair the color of moonlit snow stood watching beside the golden prince. Still humming to himself, he flipped in the air and drew into a tight downward spiral to land near Jaina.

* * *

The bath was wonderful. Jaina felt clean and though the exhaustion remained, she felt better. She wanted something small and easy to eat, perhaps a bowl of soup, and then she wished to see Kalec. Probably not in that order. Jaina knew she should sleep, but she did not want whatever inevitable nightmares today might have wrought.

Yu-len gave her a thinner shift and then wrapped a rich violet and gold brocade robe around her shoulders. It immediately shielded her from the slight chill in the cooling tent. She wrapped it tightly around herself. Slipping into some soft fur-lined boots she made her way outside once more.

She found Anduin, his golden head tilted to look at the sky, as she made her way back to her own tent. He was not, she realized, the only one fixed on something high above. Jaina looked up and smiled.

Kalec wheeled and spun in the sky with surprising grace for a being so large. Jaina wondered if there was magic at work in dragon flight or if it was just sheer muscle power alone that allowed him to twist on the winds with such ease. She would have to ask him about flight later.

"That seems to be a happy dragon," she commented. 

"Jaina!" Anduin exclaimed, suddenly noticing her. He threw his arms around her before backing off with a worried expression. "How are you feeling?"

She pulled him back into the hug. "Better. Much better." She kissed the top of his head. She'd been harsh to him and he hadn't deserved it. When she spoke it was very softly. "I have been in a very dark place, Anduin. I'm sorry." An apology to him had to come first.

"I tried so hard. I was so tired. But I tried-"

"Don't cry. Not when I'm here and well." Jaina held him more tightly. "Not when I am the one who should apologize to you. You never gave up on me. Never. You did all you could."

His arms squeezed her waist. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Light willing I'll be here for awhile yet, Anduin."

"Good. We need you."

Jaina squeezed him. "Where's Varian?" she asked, releasing him from the tight hug but keeping an arm around his shoulders. Light, the boy was getting tall.

"Cleaning up before dinner." He gestured to the dragon wheeling in the sky. "Kalec said he wanted to stretch his wings."

"And so he is," she mused, smiling. She pressed another kiss to Anduin's head and held him close as she watched the dragon wheel in the sky.

"I think I should check on my father," Anduin said, abruptly stepping away. "I will see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" she asked, surprised. "Not at dinner?"

Anduin grinned back at her. "I'll see you at lunch if we haven't gone back to Stormwind. I think father and I would just be in the way." With an impish, _knowing_ , wink he turned and left, leaving Jaina's cheeks heated and her jaw dropped in surprise at the forward implications Anduin was far too young to be making.

She saw Kalec was heading in for a landing and felt a nervous fluttering in her chest. Perhaps Anduin was not being forward at all; there was much for them to discuss still. They had tabled some topics and today's events had no doubt created more items to discuss. The day had put a great many things into perspective for her, however. For good or Ill, she wished to have those conversations soon.

Kalec landed, his wings generating a slight breeze as he back-winged then tucked them in against his sides. Jaina thought he might have been humming. He swiftly shifted into his half-elven shape and crossed the distance toward her with long strides, a bright smile on his face.

She opened her arms to embrace him and he swept her up and spun in a circle with a laugh before setting her back on her feet. She laughed in surprise and no small amount of delight, stopping when he leaned forward his expression intent. With one hand on her cheek, the other around her waist, he drew her into an intense kiss. Jaina returned his affection in equal measure, not caring in the least for what disapproving mages might say or think. He rested his forehead against hers and his soft humming was unmistakeable.

"Anduin said you were stretching your wings. It certainly made an impression on the locals," she said.

"Are they scared?" he asked, frowning.

"I don't think so."

"That's fine then," Kalec said, expression easing. "Did the healer have anything to say?" he asked.

"Rest and food," she said. "Also it wasn't stated but I imagine she'd prefer I didn't get shot again."

"No," he said, the word coming out as a growl. His arms tightened around her and he pressed his face into the crook of her neck for a moment. "Let us get out of the rain," he suggested.

Jaina nodded. "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos and commenting! I can't state how much I appreciate it!
> 
> Headcanon all over the place, mostly with dragons. Geeking out by two huge magical nerds and some comforting because they had a hell of a day. Splitting this into a smaller chapter since the next bit will be nsfw. 
> 
> Further notes at the end.

They returned to her tent which was pleasantly warm by this point. Almost immediately thereafter Healer Yu-len arrived at the head of what looked like a small feast. It was then Jaina realized how utterly famished she was. The healer watched her begin to eat with a pleased smile, but still put almost a dozen additional plates and bowls in front of her.

"Lord Kalecgos, can I entrust Lady Jaina to your care for the evening?" Yu-len asked with a small bow.

Kalec stood and bowed to the healer solemnly. "Of course. What must I do?"

"See that she eats everything I have put in front of her," Yu-len said. "Then to bed to rest. I wish to see the Lady in the morning after breakfast."

Kalec bowed again. "I will see it done."

Jaina did not usually like being cosseted. Tonight however she appreciated the care being directed at her. She felt less alone. The healer and the servers left with small bows. 

Jaina ate everything under Kalec's watchful eyes, and then a little more because the food was excellent and restorative. They spoke little as they ate. Kalec seemed to take surprised delight in the small selection of the sushi and she made a mental note to have other types served to him. When she was finished eating she sat back in her seat with a cup of warm tea and watched him finish devouring the remains of the feast. A dragon, she had learned to her amusement, could put away a surprising amount of food even in his humanoid form.

"I was told to see you to bed," Kalec said as he neatly collected the empty trays and plates together.

"Stay and talk with me?" she asked, hoping he would. "Please?"

"The healer gave orders," Kalec said, his lovely eyes very serious.

"She said I should go to bed to rest. She didn't say anything about actually sleeping," she retorted then realized how her statement could be taken. "We can talk," she clarified quickly. "Please stay and talk with me." 

They'd met because of the theft of the Focusing Iris, but their unexpected relationship had begun over a shared love of magic. In the early days after Theramore when she'd been struggling with adjusting to Dalaran and the losses, they'd spent stolen hours talking. Then they'd drifted as their duties pulled them apart and her pain pushed him away. Then after Tyr's artifact had nearly killed him, they'd repeated the process, coming back together only for her to hold him distant and wallow in her anger and seething frustration. His lingering guilt over his own flight hadn't helped. When they'd been together though, she'd been happy. It had been a wonderful meeting of minds with moments of gentle romance.

There were unasked questions still between them. Some of the topics would likely continue to be tabled until they left Pandaria. Jaina wished to have those conversations now, though. She'd been afraid of losing one of the few remaining happy parts of her life. Having lost so much more, her fear now seemed small and inconsequential, the unanswered questions keeping them distant rather than keeping her in a false sense of safety.

One question was if he wanted her the way she'd come to desire him. There had been kissing and holding but they had not taken things further. Kalec had admitted to liking her mind, spirit and being; that did not mean that he found her human features as attractive as she found his half-elven form. What did dragons find attractive, she wondered. 

Jaina only realized she'd voiced the thought aloud when he blinked at her. Jaina sipped her tea and hoped he hadn't heard and taken offense.

"Are you asking in general?" Kalec asked. "Or... physically in other dragons?" To her surprise he didn't seem offended, just caught off guard.

"I... Yes?" she asked. They had not spoken very much of dragon culture, though he had told her some things; mostly things about how the blue flight viewed magic and their Charge. Speaking of his now dispersed flight always made him look so sad and wistful.

He gave her a shrewd look, full of gentle humor. "Is this a genuine curiosity or are you trying to avoid following the healer's orders?"

"Curiosity. You don't have to answer if you don't wish to. It was forward."

He smiled and pushed his hair back behind an ear in what looked like a nervous gesture. "It is a fair question. Not one I have been asked before, though." He rose and held out a hand to her. "How about a compromise. You get ready to sleep and I shall answer your questions."

Jaina took his hand and rose. He kissed her fingers then gently tugged her in the direction of the inner area that made up the tent's bedroom. The action made her heart flutter all the more but she put those stray thoughts to the side as she usually did when it came to him and bedroom intimacy.

With a little push at the small of her back he sent her in the direction of the dressing screens. He dropped into the chair at her small travel desk, comfortably slouching.

"What shall I answer first?"

"Whatever you are most comfortable with," she answered as she shed the long, warm robe and considered her sleeping options.

"I cannot speak for the details of other flights, but blues value magical knowledge and talent. Unsurprising given our charge for so long, I suppose. Mastery as well. Not all of us have the same focus or interest but mastery of our chosen areas was seen as a worthy trait in a potential consort," Kalec said.

Jaina paused at the notes of pain and fondness as he spoke of his flight. "What is your area of interest?" she asked. She regarded the two dressing gowns before her. Thinking of his scales she chose the ice blue satin over the emerald green. Silly perhaps, but she drew it around her shoulders anyway.

"I have a number of topics but I always been most interested in unified magical theory," Kalec said with a strange note of apology.

Jaina frowned as she finished the closures on the dressing gown. "The similarities and differences between the traditionally Arcane Arts as opposed to Shamanistic or otherwise, yes?" she asked as she stepped from behind the dressing screen. He nodded and she saw his expression lift. She sat on the edge of her cot.

"Yes. You recall our conversations about Magic, Logic, Order and Math?" At her nod he continued. "Many of the same principles exist in parallel among different types of manipulation of power. There is variation, sometimes vast variation, but the same results can be achieved. A shaman or a Mage can bind a water elemental for example, one by making a formal entreaty and the other by will. Yet a shaman can impose will as a mage can entreat. Magic is patterns and constructs used in different ways. That much is already known and accepted in Arcane circles. Similar rules exist in other forms of manipulation, be it of power or abstract thought."

Jaina followed the train of thought, musing aloud. "If it is all math, then it would share some things with..." she trailed off, recalling when the constructed ball he'd conjured had looked like a gnomish schematic. She looked at him curiously. "When would it become engineering?"

Kalec sat up in his seat, eyes alight. "Yes." He gestured for her to continue to follow the line of thought and she did, considering what they had spoken of that first time on the beach and every time since then.

"Going further... We are magic... Yet we are also made of components which follow rules; limbs bend, lungs expand and contract, the heart beats. We heal but can be healed with magic... And with the Light. How then is the Light related?" She posed the question back to him. He nodded, smiling as bright as the sun and she felt the flutter in her chest even as she wondered at the enormity of the question. 

"I-" she paused as another thought occurred to her. "The Naaru and the Draenei have magic that is like what I have seen and read mages doing, like what priests have done, _and_ like what the Gnomes produce."

 _"Yes,"_ he said with such intensity she was taken aback. "There are deep connections that run together through it all. It's so different at the level where it is used and accessed but at the same time there is much which is the same."

"I-" she had caught his excitement and it was hard to focus but she forced herself into her logical mind as her teacher, Antonidas, had taught her. "I hadn't really considered it before."

"You see though? How there are connections? Logic, order and structure where there is on the surface variance and chaos? How there is artistry, instinct and life within the strict logic of spells?"

She nodded, wondering at the vast implications of learning how to manipulate on a such a deep and grand scale. Jaina noted too the unbound joy and excitement in Kalec's voice and she studied him with new appreciation. 

Joy. 

He had said Norgannon had charged them with the joy of magic as well as honoring and keeping it.

"You don't get to share this often," she asked, her tone wondering. She felt deeply touched he'd shared this part of himself with her. Jaina's inner scholar was already brimming with questions, but she put those aside. His excitement was something she wished to experience without the clutter of further questions. The Red Crane had gifted them time for learning later.

He looked at his boots with a small laugh before he answered. "No. I am certainly not the only dragon interested in this field, but it's considered to be a little esoteric even for a blue. Most are concerned with the strictly Arcane arts in their own research, or are artificers or those who delve into alchemical areas." He snorted a laugh. "I suppose it's a bit overly complicated and theoretical even for a dragon. I haven't had much time for investigation as of late. I know you know that feeling."

She shared a small laugh with him. She had lamented time to do simple research. "Is that why you have concerned yourself with the younger races? Or was your comfort with us a result of studying your theories?"

"A little of both, actually."

"To get back to the original question, study is... valued by dragons?"

"You should be resting," he reminded her kindly.

"I am. Look, I am even in bed. I am resting." She gestured to the cot and smiled sweetly. A thought occurred to her and the smile fell. "Have I asked something inappropriate?"

"No. It is... awkward to put into words. I've honestly not thought of it much before from the perspective of a non-dragon," he said, waving aside her concern with a hand. "Not all blues value everything the same way. Humans have similar preferences and ideas of what is valuable."

She nodded conceding the point. "So competence and intelligence are attractive qualities."

"Very much so."

She picked at the edge of her blanket. "And what does a dragon consider to be handsome or lovely among their own kind?"

He pursed his lips in thought before he answered. "I can only speak for my own flight as there appear to be some... cultural differences if you will. Some shared things."

"Oh?"

"Unsurprisingly Alexstrasza is considered by most to be a great beauty, but she is.... how to put this... She is the image of life and fertility I suppose. Muscular and curvaceous?" He shook his head and she was amused to see a slight blush on his flustered face.

"Blues tend to be built on more slim lines than reds are. Among our females elegantly curving horns are viewed as being lovely." He frowned in bemusement, "Females have remarked on the flight shoulders of males, and very often our haunches." His frown deepened. "But I don't get it." 

Jaina giggled. The image of Alexstrasza and Ysera gossiping over befuddled male dragons appeared in her mind and the giggle became a full laugh.

Kalec rolled his eyes but there was a hint of a smile in his expression. "Bright scales over dull is generally preferred across all flights. As in other races there is a great deal of personal preference when it comes to the physical." He finished succinctly, meeting her eyes. "This is a very unusual conversation."

"Thank you for indulging my curiosity. I can't help but feel I've been a little rude in not asking more about you and your people."

He got up and sat beside her on the cot, enfolding one of her hands in both of his. "I've very much liked your curiosity," Kalec told her. "And in your defense, dragons have been rather secretive in the past. I would very much like to remain by your side. It is fair for you to know more about me."

"I want you to stay with me," she said with conviction.

"As my lady wishes," he said, leaning forward to place a soft, almost chaste, kiss on her lips. 

The gentle touch ignited a spark in her. 

She'd nearly lost him to her own short-sighted anger today. Jaina had _died_ today. She curled her fingers into the fine leather of the vest he wore and deepened the kiss. She wished for more than stolen kisses and soft looks in her study. She hoped he felt the same. Kalec half-growled, half moaned against her lips, sending a thrill down her spine. His arms came around her waist and shoulders, pulling her closer and she wound her arms around his neck. She broke the kiss with a small gasp of air.

"Jaina," Kalec said, her name low and rough. He held her still; neither pulling her closer nor pushing her away.

"I _died_ today," Jaina said before he could say anything else. "You've been the one bright spot in my life and I have held you distant. I have been foolish and wrathful and I _died_." Her voice wavered. "I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with you and be happy.I haven't been happy in _so_ long." She began to cry. 

The tension in his shoulders relaxed as he gathered her in close, leaving soft kisses on her hair and brow. He reassured her as she shook in his arms. "You're okay. Thank the Light you're okay. I'm here." His grip remained tight around her, as if he was afraid she might vanish if he let her go. 

Eventually her tears subsided, leaving her feeling wrung out but somehow lighter, as if she'd shed a heavy coat. She dried her eyes. No more tears. Not today. Jaina settled against his chest and relaxed into a comfortable embrace. She wanted him more than her hate and more than her fears.

"I'm not a dragon," she finally said.

He kissed her gently. "Jaina I love you for who you are. You are brilliant, talented and kind."

She shook her head. She hadn't been recently. "I want to be, again. I want to be happy. With you I am."

"I'm not human."

She smiled into his chest. "I love you for who you are. The wonderful, insightful, humorous person who entered my life so unexpectedly when I was at my darkest." She kissed his jaw and she felt him stiffen in surprise, but not, she thought, displeasure. Feeling bold and unwilling to push personal joy aside anymore, she brought up one of the topics she was somewhat fearful of. "This version of you is very pleasant to look at. And kiss. But I understand if you don't want-"

He leaned down and interrupted her with a sudden and firm kiss. "I am attracted to _you_ and would like to be with you however you wish." There was a growling edge to his words that she found surprisingly exciting. More than that, her heart raced as he settled another fear.

Jaina drew her fingers through his hair then considered the cot with pursed lips. It was narrow but of sturdy-enough make, she supposed. She'd been using it on and off for the past few months as the Kirin Tor assisted the Shado-pan. It did creak but there were spells to block sounds. The rest of the camp did not need to know the precise details of her intimate life. Most of them probably thought they'd been having sex for ages already. Looking back at Kalec she found him sizing up the cot as well. His speculative gaze was transferred to her and she felt the heated spark redouble. 

She was done with waiting and fearing.

"I am supposed to see you get rest," he said, though he made no move to let go of her.

Jaina leaned up close. "Stay. I imagine I will rest very well. Eventually." She nibbled at his jaw which seemed to elicit as much reaction as her words had. Interesting. She plucked at the laces of his shirt, tugging the knot loose as she grazed along his jawline with her lips and teeth. "Be with me tonight."

"You're trying to seduce me," he accused without an ounce of rancor, eyes falling shut. His fingers had begun to wander up and down her sides.

"Is it working?" she asked in an impish whisper.

He opened his eyes and the dark look he gave her was every bit as stunning as when she'd first beheld him up close in his draconic form. Kalecgos was an old, _powerful_ creature, as much as he was also trustworthy, bashful, polite Kalec. He pulled her into his lap, her knees straddling either side, the robe hiked up to her thighs. She could feel his stirring interest though the thin silks she wore.

"Yes," he growled, fingers flexing on her hips. "I would honestly like nothing more than to lie with you tonight, Jaina. I do not want you to regret choosing me in the morning. Is this what you want or are you reacting to the day?"

"It's probably both," she said, unable to be anything but honest with him. Her fingers continuing to play with the ties of his shirt. "I want to be so tired I don't have nightmares. I want to feel alive. I've been given a second chance and I want to _live_ again." She rested her hands on his broad shoulders. "The only regret I have is that it took me so long to get here. I choose you and I will not regret that."

"I am already an odd dragon so I don't expect my flight's opinion to change. Your people do not always react well to... mixed matings. I am not a half-elf and everyone knows it."

"Who I am with is my business alone," she said, and it was perhaps a bit snappish but she was done with caring what gossip might say. Her ex-lover had become the Lich King. She'd endured gossip and snide remarks before; she would endure them again. Kalec was worth it.

"Besides," she told him, "the only people left alive whose personal opinion I care about are Varian and Anduin. Anduin would be supportive. Varian probably would be. If he isn't, well, it would not be the first time we disagreed." She played with the collar of his shirt. "I can tell Anduin likes you. Varian will get over it if he doesn't." Jaina's lips twisted into a sad smile. "I guess I care what Vereesa might think, but she married a human. She's hardly one to be critical of mixed couples." She met his eyes and touched his cheek. "You say you do not care, but surely you have dragons you're close with you still care for. You've mentioned Kyrigosa a number of times as a sister?"

Kalec leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, his grip still unmoving. "Kyri is the closest thing I have left to a sister. She knew I was in love with you before I did. Tyrigosa..." he trailed off thinking of that particular ghost of the past. "We have drifted apart a great deal but I do not think she would be surprised. I don't think she would particularly approve but she wouldn't be surprised. I believe she's at war with herself," he added. "I think she's fallen for her paladin companion but she isn't comfortable with it, so her discomfort would be more a reflection of that battle than on me. In any case, I have withstood scrutiny before."

She kissed up his neck then left little bites down. He growled, his fingers tightening on her again, but he tilted his head to allow her better access to his neck. "Kalec?" Jaina asked, one hand running through his hair. "Be with me tonight?"

He caught her lips in a short kiss. "So tired you have no dreams?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He kissed her soundly once more, the growl more evident. "As my lady wishes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly not entirely compliant with WoW lore about magic. We've diverged! I liked the idea of Kalecgos having among his interests the arcane equivalent of a grand unified theory and particle physics. He's not really so much of a combat caster or a physical fighter 'cause he spent most of his life being a huge magic nerd studying and doing magic!calculus for fun - a magic geek even among the blues. Jaina is having feelings the probably need drinking, but at the end of War Crimes she was left in a place where she looked like she'd be open to changes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW chapter. Pulling it out from the rest so folks who aren't into this sort of thing can skip over it. Indulging dragon head-canon.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments! I hope you continue to be entertained :)

He gestured with the elegant fingers of one hand and she watched as a complicated sound-proofing spell manifested within the tent. 

Jaina had seen him perform magic before and each time was a treat. She loved watching him cast as much as she loved seeing the spell form. She recognized the components which would prevent any sounds they might make from leaving the spell's perimeter. Such things, she was given to understand, were standard among young mages looking to further intimate relations without their nearest neighbors hearing. She'd not partaken in such things when she'd studied in Dalaran; that had happened later. Jaina arrested that thought and shoved it away, the memory best left dead with Arthas.

The rest of his spell was surprising. The sounds from outside were muffled selectively. The camp noise, never very loud at night, faded entirely. An allowance seemed to have been made for shouted warnings. What was left was the patter of rainfall on the tent's roof, enhanced to be better heard. While the rain had often been a source of annoyance for her, warm and secure in Kalec's arms it transformed into something soothing. The structure of the spell itself felt as most of Kalec's castings did, possessing delicate twists of energy both beautiful and elegant. The visible energy dispersed as the spell was set, thin blue light dissipating into the shadows.

He chuckled, drawing her attention. His smile was one of joy and soft affection. "I love watching you mentally deconstruct a new spell." His fingers brushed over her cheek. "I-"

Jaina silenced him by leaning forward and claiming his lips with her own. She deepened the kiss and he responded in kind. She was pleased to see him breathing heavily when the kiss ended.

"Magic lessons later. There are other things I would like from you at the moment," Jaina told him, rocking in his lap to leave no doubt as to her meaning. Kalec growled and she found herself abruptly tumbled into the bed.

Jaina laughed, surprise and delight given voice. She reached out to pull him down with her. He avoided her grasp with a smirk and raised one hand, beginning to gesture. Jaina lunged again and this time caught his wrist. "You are _not_ banishing my clothing," she said told him through another laugh.

Kalec pouted. "This is easier."

"It's less fun," she countered.

The pout turned into a sly grin. "As I am dubious of your claims, I think then we shall have to test your theory so that I might see for myself."

"And," Jaina said with exaggerated magnanimity, "as I am dubious of your claim, we can try that later." She released his wrist.

Kalec grinned. "I like research." He leaned down to kiss behind her ear and begin to make his way down her neck.

"Another thing we have in common," she murmured, tilting her head to expose her neck. His lips were soft and each gentle kiss sent a little shiver down her spine.

Kalec drew back, hands coming to deftly pick apart the closures of her gown. "Then you won't mind if I make this a thorough study?"

"Joint study?" she counter offered, fingers working at the belt holding his trousers.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he said, his voice dropping into a lower growl as her questing fingers brushed over his pants. He undid the last of the closures and parted her gown to either side, exposing her breasts to his gaze. He tilted his head as he considered her, the motion striking her as non-human, and Jaina felt suddenly very aware of how naked and exposed she was underneath him.

"What?" A tremulous note entered into her voice. Maybe he was reconsidering intimacy with someone so alien to his true form.

"I find them exotic yet aesthetically pleasing. Perhaps that is why Alexstraza and Ysera enjoy appearing as they do."

Jaina snorted a laugh, tension dissolving away. "First time I've been given that compliment."

"I have not had much experience with touching," he said. Kalec arched a wry brow, "Even dragons know it isn't polite to go around fondling random women."

She reached up and touched his cheek, gently easing her thumb over his jaw. "I hereby give you permission to fondle when we're alone." He smirked and she grinned back. As an afterthought she added, "And I'll let you know when it's too rough. Generally being squeezed like a melon isn't very pleasant, but I do like to be touched."

He laughed quietly. "So noted."

Kalec reached down and rather than touch or caress as she was wished for him to do, his finger rested on her new scar. "I think," he said, "I also wish to be so tired I do not dream."

Jaina took his unresisting hand and moved it so he cupped her right breast, heavy and bare. She flexed his fingers over her flesh. "Then maybe we should move on to comparative anatomy?"

"Yes, I agree," he said brushing his thumb over her nipple, a delighted smile forming as she made a small, pleased noise. He continued to rub little circles over the pebbled flesh as leaned down slowly, watching her reaction through long lashes. She smiled in encouragement and he sucked the peak into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around then flicked the taut peak. 

Jaina hummed in pleasure and moved his hand to her other breast. His touch was gentle and tentative. The feather-light touches were both maddening and endearing and she was torn between wanting to let him explore on his own and asking him for more. She distracted herself by reaching down to blindly begin to undo the laces of his shirt which remained stubbornly tied. Kalec moved from one breast to the other and the sudden cool air caused another gasp.

He stopped.

"Good," she said, voice breathy. "Please continue."

Kalec went back to his examination of her chest and oh Light, the brush of his teeth was bold and unexpected. Jaina wanted more. She fumbled with the knots of his shirt, which were not coming undone nearly fast enough. She growled and considered banishing it, earlier banter aside.

Kalec chuckled, his voice dropping into a deeper register. It seemed to run straight down her spine and vibrate between her thighs. He nipped lightly, playfully, at the junction of her neck and shoulder and her nails dug into the offending garment.

"I think I see your point on banishing," she managed to say.

"Funny," he said, his voice had become rougher, "I am becoming convinced of the fun of undressing slowly." He kissed down her neck and over her collarbone, taking his time to place each gentle press of his lips against her skin. 

Jaina's breath caught as he kissed over the swell of one breast, sucking the pebbled tip then laving it with the flat of his tongue. His hands were not idle, sliding down her side and over her hip. Kalec left her breast to continue his journey. She stifled a moan and the cool air replaced his mouth, a chill contrast to the searing heat left by his lips. He kissed down her stomach and she gasped, slightly ticklish and wound up in anticipation of where he was heading. Her heart beat in time with the dull throb between her thighs.

Kalec hooked his fingers around the top of her smallclothes and paused. Jaina sat up on her elbows, wondering why he'd stopped. He pressed a kiss to the hollow of her hip and arched an inquisitive eyebrow as he tugged at her smallclothes. In response she helped him shuck off the panties. He looked at them curiously. She plucked them out of his hand and tossed them in the general direction of her wardrobe. The robe followed a moment later. He laughed in that same resonant tone as he laid her back down again, her pale locks spilling over the pillows

He kissed her, long and sweet, one thumb running circles around her nipple then trailing down her side. She moaned into the kiss. "Jaina," he said her name and Light but she thought she might just come from his voice. He nipped at the junction of her shoulder and neck. "Shall I continue comparative anatomy?"

"Please, do," she said, thighs squeezing together, trying to ease the ache. He made a pleased rumbling, growling sound that was not at all human. Jaina felt as if his voice teased every nerve in her body. 

She grinned in breathless anticipation as Kalec backed away, eyes held on hers as he parted her legs with a hand on either knee. He slid off the cot then pulled her closer to the edge with a casual show of physical prowess that elicited a surprised little thrill. Kalec kissed her inner thighs, sending more shivers down her spine to pool in aching heat between her legs. Instead of his hot mouth against her as she so desired, he very lightly grazed his teeth over her skin then kissed the bite. 

"Jaina." 

She rose up on her elbows. He waited until she was watching him then very deliberately leaned forward and kissed her sex. Jaina gasped his name as his lips touched her, tasted her, so hot against her slick core. His tongue ran over and around her folds, tracing a languid spiral that skipped around her throbbing clit. Kalec circled her and each time she felt as if she were wound more tightly, the heat and tension an unbearable ache. He parted her wet folds and waited until she was watching, as if she would look away. He swiped the flat of his tongue up her center, just grazing where she wanted him. She could feel the heat of his breath right there, where she ached most. Kalec leaned forward and gave an exploratory lick against her clit. Jaina gasped again, little bolts of lightning seeming to run outwards through her body then back to settle as tension in her lower belly. He wrapped his lips around her and sucked. 

Keening, Jaina gripped the side of the bed with one hand and his forearm with the other, needing to anchor herself, needing to touch him, needing just him. He stopped when she grabbed his forearm and she let out a little cry of disappointment.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked concerned.

"Yes," she told him with a little gasping laugh. She liked he did not assume anything with her, but Light she needed to touch and be touched so badly. "Very okay. Just needed..." she trailed off and found his fingers, squeezing them. 

He gave an exploratory lick against her sex and she shuddered with a shaky sigh of pleasure. Needing no more encouragement, Kalec growled and boldly began to explore her folds with his lips and tongue. Jaina gripped the bedding and his fingers harder as she writhed under his touch. His tongue traced her folds entirely, dipping inwards before returning to their exploration. He traced near her clit then avoided it, chuckling when she made a little disappointed sound. His voice as much as the vibrations of his lips caused her to moan.The appreciative sound she made wasn't intelligible language but he seemed to understand.

He began to tease, always drifting away but coming back to wind her up further. He caressed her center with broad strokes then little flicks on the next return. Her hips rocked as he explored, finding the places she liked best. He growled in amusement then intentionally when she reacted so well to the vibration against her. She felt the too-hard sharpness of teeth and warned him away with a small grunt and gentle push. Taking her direction he stopped, kissing her inner thigh gently.

"No?"

"Not there," she corrected.

"Noted," he murmured, eyes holding her as he went down on her again, careful to avoid teeth.

Jaina let herself cease caring beyond anything but them together and the magnificent feel of his tongue and lips. She was so wet and aching and release was so close and it had been an age since someone she loved had done this for her. He pressed a finger within her and she gasped, moaning when a second followed. His tongue focused on her clit, rapid flicks winding the tension further.

Too soon and not soon enough, Jaina came with a small scream, her back arching off the cot and her fingers digging into his arm and the bedding. She lay shuddering and gasping on the cot as he drew aftershocks from her body before finally releasing her. 

Breathing heavily she watched him rise to his feet. He found her eyes and slowly licked the fingers slick with her wetness. She bit back a little moan as she watched him. He quickly shucked off the vest and shirt, tossing them in the same direction her clothing had gone. Smiling, perhaps a bit smugly, he leaned over her once more and pressed a hungry kiss to her mouth. She could taste herself on his lips and moaned.

Kalec nipped at her jaw then down the side of her neck, leaving another light bite at the junction of her neck and shoulder. She gasped as the coiling tension began to build again. He retraced the path up, detouring to her ear. She turned her head and caught his lips with her own, her fingers running through his hair.

Kalec broke the kiss with a deep, self-satisfied, male growl that did strange and wonderful things to her insides. "I take it you enjoyed that intensive study?" he asked and oh he was definitely smug. She had enjoyed herself, though. The rich timber of his voice promised her more intimate delights and she wanted those right now.

"Mmhm." Jaina nodded and hooked a finger into the top of his pants. "You're overdressed." She sat up and began to undo the fastenings of his trousers. 

In this form he appeared to have the same response she would have expected from a human or elf and he made a sound halfway between grunt and a growl when her fingers ghosted over the hard flesh under the leather. Jaina had been relieved he was interested in physical intimacy, and now very curious what he looked like. She wondered what he'd feel like, hard and solid within her. Jaina's fingers flew faster over the laces and she contemplated banishing them.

Gentle fingers in her hair drew her attention. She paused in her frantic assault, but only for a moment. Her lover's eyes were dark with desire but his smile was open and loving. The fingers in her hair were gentle, not demanding. Good. She wouldn't have to teach him not to pull and shove. She rubbed the palm of her hand over his now very obvious interest and he swallowed a groan, his hips thrusting a little against her touch. Grinning, Jaina finally pulled the leather knots free and tugged his trousers loose. She eased the pants over his bobbing erection and pushed them off his hips. He kicked the pants away and made to join her on the bed but she stopped him with a hand on his chest and an impish smile.

"My turn to study," she reminded him sweetly. He growled in reply, a sound too large for his frame. His eyes glittered, the irises thin, glowing bands of blue around huge pupils. She was reminded he was a great and powerful creature, but also very much _hers_ in this moment.

Kalec shuddered as she trailed a single finger down his chest and lower. His member was long but not excessively so and it looked to be a pleasing girth. It was shaped like she would expect from a half-elf; more or less the same as a human's. She briefly wondered what he looked like as a dragon, she'd never seen such a thing before, but the idle curiosity was set aside in favor of what was in front of her. 

Jaina grasped him and felt a slow smile form as he groaned. The hand that had been stroking her hair fell to her shoulder to steady himself. She stroked with gentle pressure then leaned forward and tasted him. The hand on her shoulder tensed as she swirled her tongue around the tip. Then very slowly, she took him into her mouth, running her tongue along the underside as she went down then withdrew. The foreign, deep purring-growl in his chest intensified. He swayed forward, hips slightly bucking as she continued to pleasure him.

She pulled off, replacing her mouth with the flat of her thumb under the head. She waited until he looked down at her then went down on him again, watching his reaction through her lashes. He moaned the sound ending in a small whimper as she pressed her tongue under the tip of the head, her hand pumping along his length.

"Jaina," Kalec growled, a note of warning in his voice. His eyes had closed against the sight of her, his body a line of tension.

She sat back and released him with a small, wet pop. He'd heard and felt it and the hand on her shoulder gripped harder for a moment. Jaina placed one hand on his thigh and stroked over his well defined hip. He opened his eyes again and there was a thrilling hunger in his look. 

Grinning back in challenge she nonetheless backed up further onto the cot, wordlessly inviting him to follow. He prowled after her full of predatory grace and intent. Kalec braced on one arm as he leaned over her, his free hand stroking up her side and over a breast. He kissed her and she felt just the edge of his teeth. Here she was fine with biting and she encouraged him with a little moan. He parted her legs with a knee as he leaned over her.

She murmured his name as he kissed along her jaw and just under her ear. She swallowed a moan as the long fingers of one hand reached between her legs and gently teased her open. She was wet and his fingers slid over her then into her. She gasped as he fingered her, his teeth leaving small bites along her neck. Fingers were nice but she wanted more. She stilled his hand with a touch. "I want you." 

He nuzzled under her ear, growling softly. It wasn't a threatening sound, having a sensual purring component rather than warning. But it was a little dangerous, a reminder he was not the half-elf he appeared to be. "As my lady wishes," he said, kissing under her ear. Jaina found herself smiling and relaxing into the bedding, feeling loved and secure.

Adjusting himself entered her shallowly, pulled back, then penetrated deeper until he was buried to the hilt, hot and thick and hard. Jaina gasped, her head falling back against the pillows as she stretched around him. It had been far too long since she'd been pleasured by someone who loved her. He stilled, gently kissing her lips. The soft touch was at odds with the hard heat within her and the tension in his back and arms. When she returned the kiss and rocked her hips against him, he began to move.

He braced himself on one arm and began a steady, slow pace. She ran her hands up his chest then over his shoulders, pulling him closer. Kalec increased the steady thrusting and she hooked a leg over his hip, changing the angle. He growled and leaned down. They kissed, hot open mouthed kisses that teased and nipped. He grazed his teeth down her neck and over her shoulder, the bites becoming harder as his speed increased. Leaning on one arm he reached between them to touch her at her request. Jaina nails dug into his back, leaving scratches. She reveled in the feel of the flex of his muscles under her hands.

She gasped encouraging words into his ear until she lost sense of language. Then there was nothing but the warm building sensation in her groin, the tingle of his fingers, the sweat and heat between them and the sound of their panted breaths.

His name was a plea as she dug her nails into his back. She was so close. He growled her name and it was his voice that finally did it for her. Jaina fell apart under him, crying out into his shoulder. She fell into little gasps and moans as her body shook under the now unsteady cadence of his hips. Planting both hands on either side of her he thrust harder, staring down at her with luminous eyes and slightly sharper teeth, something deeply male in his rising growl. His blue-black hair hung like a curtain around her face. She gasped with each rock of his hips into hers. Jaina looked up at Kalec through her lashes, lips parted as she watched him. She pushed his hair back with one hand, stroking over the side of his face.

He climaxed with a muted roar, his hips jerking against hers as he spilled into her. Jaina ran her hands up and down his arms, still coming down from her own climactic high. Breathing heavily, Kalec collapsed into her arms. He worked one arm then the other under her back, holding her close. Jaina buried her face into his neck and ran her hands over his back, soothing the small scratches she'd made over his skin. He withdrew from her body and she gasped, still sensitive. He rolled them over so she lay on his chest. 

Secure in his embrace, Jaina smiled and simply existed for a moment. Her entire body tingled and she felt pleasantly warm. Outside the rain continued to fall in a soothing cadence. Jaina smiled and listened to the beating of Kalecgos' great heart, and the ongoing rumbling-

"Are you purring?" she asked, unsure if she was amused, delighted, or shocked. Perhaps it was all three. The noise stopped and she couldn't help but feel a little sad. "You don't need to stop," she said, drawing a light finger over his chest and following it with a small kiss.

The somewhat embarrassed look of being caught eased and he smiled. The rhythmic purr began once more. Grinning she crossed her arms over his chest then rested her chin on them, watching him. He watched her settle then a hand came up to her hair. Gentle fingers began to stroke through mussed locks of pale hair. 

"Not human," he said.

She dropped a kiss to the center of his chest. "No. I love you just as you are. I was just surprised."

He snorted. "Normally I am better controlled at matching my actions to my form."

She braced a hand on either side of his chest and leaned forward to kiss him. "I like that I've made you so happy and relaxed that you can be yourself, however humanoid or not, around me."

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to be held close. "I am happy, and relaxed," he said, kissing her between statements. "And satisfied," he growled smugly. "For now." He lay back against her pillows, his long blue-black hair fanned around his head. He watched her with half-lidded eyes and resumed stroking gentle fingers through her hair, teasing apart the tangles they'd made and setting her white locks straight again; grooming she realized.

Jaina's answering chuckle was a bit throaty as she bent her head so he could continue. His fingers through her hair was as soul soothing as the consistent, warm rumble. Exhaustion stole upon her and she yawned. Jaina was soon dozing on his chest. Kalec roused her enough they could slip under the covers together. He held her close, arms wrapped around her from behind, her back against his broad chest. Warm, secure and happy, Jaina fell into dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shamelessly indulgent 'cause I'd like to see Jaina work through some of her issues. Pandaren headcanon regarding mental health. Absent-minded dragons. Beginning to diverge from canon in little ways.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and bookmarks

Jaina awoke early the next morning, aching pleasantly. She sighed and stretched. No nightmares had come to harass her as she slept. In the thin light of dawn she had no regrets for her choice. Kalec slept soundly at her back, one arm around her waist. He grumbled sleepily as she rose but did not wake fully. She watched with fond amusement as he rolled over, pulling the thick blanket over his head. Jaina completed her morning ablutions then dressed and went outside.

Outside of her tent, a thin mist hung in the air but the camp was coming alive with the dawn. She could already smell freshly baked bread. A small smattering of applause drew her attention, and Jaina wandered in the direction of the sound.

Varian was sparring with one of the Shado-pan monks. The going rumor was Varian had challenged several of the Pandaren seeking to join the Alliance to sparring matches when they'd arrived in Stormwind. Jaina could believe it. The part of Varian who was still a gladiator was most free when he was on the battlefield, but Varian had always been a talented warrior. Jaina had watched the young king spar with his friend Arthas, pushing the paladin to be better. It seemed to be a lifetime ago. Even then Varian had enjoyed the artistry of fighting technique and cunning.

The monk lashed out with a brutal kick which Varian deflected, spinning into a low sweep of one leg. The monk nimbly leapt into the air and away, the king following to press the attack. The Pandaren landed and took the blows or deflected them with deft movements of his hands and arms before pressing the attack. Varian backed up several paces, seeking to get past the monk's guard. The match was fairly even despite the clear difference in techniques. She joined the applause when the two stopped after a lightning quick exchange of blows. She wasn't certain who'd won the exchange, the two men had moved so quickly.

Varian caught sight of her and waved his sparring partner off. The two exchanged respectful salutes and Varian jogged over to her.

"Good morning," he greeted. "You're up early."

"So are you."

He smiled and rolled a shoulder. "I like these monks. They're not afraid I might shatter because I have a lofty title." He started walking towards his tent. Jaina followed.

"How is Anduin?" she asked.

"He had an uneasy night. Truth be told I did not have an easy time of it either, Jaina." He gave her a sympathetic look. "Anduin said you needed to retire early. How did you fare?"

Jaina arched a pale eyebrow at Anduin's interpretation of the truth. As for her evening? "I... was well cared for," she said after a moment. She tried not to blush and looked ahead, hoping Varian wouldn't notice. She had loved and been loved in return and it felt good.

"Good, good. Breakfast then? Where's Kalec this morning? Out flying?"

"He is apparently not a morning dragon," she replied with fondness. Jaina wondered if that was typical or if it was because of the active evening. She'd have to expand the data-set to see. That was going to be fun. A slow, cheshire smile crossed her lips.

"Ha! Well-" Varian paused, looking at her shrewdly.

Jaina's carnal train of thought screeched to a halt as she noticed Varian eyeing her. She lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes, silently daring him to speak ill of her choice. If he was going to fight her on this he would find it a hard battle. Jaina was tired of fighting him, but for this she would.

Varian lifted a forestalling hand and surprised her with a gentle smile. His voice was softer than she'd heard in a great while. They were always arguing now it seemed. Jaina had missed his gruff kindness. "Your choice is ever your own, Jaina. But for whatever it might be worth to you, I like that he makes you happy. Light knows you deserve that. He seems like a good person." He put a brotherly hand on her shoulder as he spoke with warmth that had become uncommon as of late. Varian smirked and his tone became teasing. "Though telling Anduin you were turning in early..."

"Actually, Varian," Jaina interrupted dryly, "that's what he told _you_ ," Jaina crossed her arms. "He told _me_ that I would see him at lunch. He said that you and he at dinner would just 'get in the way', and assumed I would not be up before noon."

Varian shrank back and made a sputtering sound. Jaina didn't even try to hide her gleeful smirk at his poleaxed expression. "He's far too young for that sort of talk!" Varian stammered.

"That is what I thought as well," she admitted. "He's growing up." She gave into the impish, sisterly desire to tease him further. "Soon it will be thoughts of girls. Or boys. Or girls and boys. Dances and courting and balls and suits-" Varian made a strangled sound and she took pity on him. "He's growing up and becoming a fine young man," Jaina told him. She patted his arm soothingly.

"You helped with that," he said, his voice a bit rough with emotion he was clearly trying to hold back. "I cannot thank you enough."

"He calls me aunt. It's what family does. You were lost and he needed someone." She crossed her arms and stepped closer. "I know I haven't been easy to get along with and I have disrupted your diplomatic talks. You have been patient with me. Thank you, Varian."

The gentle hand went back to her shoulder. "As you said, it is what family does, Jaina. Light knows you were patient with me when I was lost and when I have raged... Or disrupted your own plans," 

She gave him a small smile and ducked her head in acknowledgement. The call for breakfast went out, ending their quiet moment.

"Join us for breakfast?" Varian offered. "See if Kalec is awake?"

She smiled and nodded, leaving for her tent.

Kalec, she discovered, was still asleep. Jaina considered the half-elf shaped dragon in her bed. He'd sprawled, blue-black hair a tousled mess, one foot sticking out from the covers. Leaning down she brushed a few errant locks back behind his ear and kissed his temple.

"There is breakfast in Varian's tent if you would like some," she said when he stirred.

Kalec mumbled something lilting which was clearly language but not one she was familiar with. He burrowed into the blankets again, which needed no translation. She laughed and left him to rest. 

Anduin greeted her at her tent's entrance and looked around. "Kalec isn't coming?"

"Sleeping in," she said, giving him a look that said "leave it." She got a far too cheeky grin in return as he escorted her to breakfast like a gentleman.

"Do you want the update or breakfast first?" Varian asked when she arrived. He waved a rolled up scroll, his expression more serious than when she'd left him minutes before.

Jaina paused and eyed the scroll. "Update."

"Chromie is tracking where they went. She doesn't have an exact fix on them yet but she says she's narrowing it down. It is possible they are no longer on Azeroth and have gone to Outland. She promises further updates soon."

Jaina nodded as she silently took her seat. Anduin put a gentle hand on her shoulder and she took it in her own, giving him a small, tight smile.

"We will make this right," Varian said as he sat across from her. "You have my word he will be found."

She nodded. Jaina felt much better after sleep but she was not at anything approaching her full strength. "I've told Modera and Khadgar to render any assistance Chromie might need."

Anduin pushed the plate of eggs towards her. "Have breakfast and worry later, Auntie. I have faith our allies will find him."

She ate a little and discovered she was actually hungry. Not as ravenous as she had been the previous evening, but despite the gnawing worry over Garrosh, she had an appetite. Breakfast was quiet, with Varian and Anduin making most of the conversation. Anduin seemed determined to keep her mind off of everything that had happened the previous day. He spent the time telling her all about his current studies and the events she'd missed when she'd been distant. She let his happy voice wash over her, but part of her felt like crying - she should have known all he was doing as it happened. They'd been close once and she mourned the distance that had grown between them, feeling it as pain for the first time. Still, it felt good to hear his cheerful recounting. Jaina had known but hadn't appreciated how much of an impact Anduin had made in his time here, or how much it had impacted him. 

Breakfast over, Varian returned to Stormwind. Anduin had decided to remain a little longer so he might speak with friends and teachers. 

Returning to her tent, she found Healer Yu-Len waiting close by. Jaina invited her inside so she could be poked and prodded in private. Yu-len bade her sit then checked her pulse. They both looked up as the flap of the bedroom portion of the tent was pushed back and Kalec walked out not wearing a stitch of clothing. 

Unconcerned for his state of undress or that the healer was there, Kalec yawned and rubbed sleep from his eyes. He nodded to the healer and kissed Jaina's cheek. He shuffled over to the small cabinet that housed her teas, coffee, pots and a small heating coil. He found her largest mug then began to pull items and open boxes.

"Are you looking for tea?" Jaina asked, using considerable willpower not to laugh.

"Coffee?" he asked, hopeful.

"The blue box in the upper cabinet."

He made a pleased rumbling noise and swooped on the appropriate box. Jaina bit her lip. The Healer had turned her head to be polite but was having a hard time holding back her own laughter. Kalec was very fine looking, Jaina decided, with muscular, broad shoulders and a tight rear. She hadn't been able to study him at length the previous evening. She would have to amend that oversight. The healer coughed politely and Jaina was reminded the dragon had an audience of two.

"Kalec?"

"Hmm?"

"Clothing."

"What?" Kalec asked with an adorably confused frown before he looked down and noticed the issue. "Oh." He gestured, murmuring a spell, and his usual clothes manifested themselves on his person. "My apologies." He frowned again, the lightest blush on his cheeks, "I haven't forgotten to do that in ages, actually." 

"You've forgotten?" Jaina asked, eyebrows racing for her hairline.

"Well, dragons don't usually wear clothes," Kalec pointed out. "And even looking like this the temperature doesn't really bother us. Every blue is a born frost mage so... there have been incidents when I was younger where I, ah, forgot."

"I see," Jaina said, trying not to laugh. She did feel a slight bit smug that perhaps she might have been a contributing factor to Kalec's forgetfulness.

The healer's shoulders shook in silent laughter for another moment. "Lady if you please I can finish your examination in my tent."

Jaina nodded, kissed a still somewhat sheepish looking Kalec on the cheek and followed the Pandaren woman.

Yu-len led her to a yurt on the far side of the encampment where most of the Pandaren had set up their own tents. Inside was warm and cozy due to a brazier in the center. Smoke curled into the air lazily, escaping out of a hole in the center of the structure.

"Please sit. Tea?" Yu-Len offered, bustling around a small side cabinet.

"Please," Jaina said, sinking gratefully into one of the low seats by the brazier.

"How are you feeling?" Yu-Len asked over her shoulder. The Pandaren healer pulled a pot of water away from the warm coals and set it on the table between two of the chairs.

"Much better, thank you." Jaina watched the healer's deft hands prepare the tea. She idly wondered if there was some deeper magic that caused anything grown here to smell and taste so good.

"Still tired?"

"Yes," she said. The walk here had been very draining. "Not as badly as yesterday I think, but I am glad I didn't have to walk further."

She nodded. "Any tightness or sharp pain in your chest? Pain the comes and goes?" Yu-len asked as she dished out tea leaves into the pot.

"No. Nothing like that."

The healer nodded. "That is good. I saw that you ate, but I hope you did not stay up all night." Her eyes crinkled in amusement and she held up a forestalling hand. "Given the events of the day I am not surprised you and your mate found comfort in one another. You _do_ need rest, however."

Mollified somewhat by the other woman's understanding, Jaina bit back the urge to snap. Instead she answered, "I slept soundly and it was not so very late."

Yu-len nodded and poured the tea into two cups. "On a related note, do you need anything? I am given to understand women of the Alliance also drink contraceptive potions very similar to ours; enough that the formulas are equally effective. If you are in need of additional supplies, they are available."

Jaina shook her head. "Unnecessary given the difference in our species, but I have access to supplies. Thank you."

"Ah. It is only recently that dragons made themselves known on our shores. I am not so very familiar with them as a result. Perhaps you could enlighten me a little so I might not make any foolish mistakes?" She sipped her tea.

"Honestly," Jaina said, contemplating her own cup, "they have been somewhat closed to us younger races. At least until the Cataclysm happened and they needed our support to subdue Deathwing." She grimaced at the tinge of bitterness in her voice. She sipped her tea to try to calm her temper. It was green with a hint of something floral and delicate. "Relations have not been easy," she concluded with less rancor.

"You and Lord Kalecgos seem to have found accord," Yu-len said, without a trace of sarcasm or teasing. Jaina found tension she hadn't realized she'd been carrying ease. The honest observation, offered without judgement, was a relief.

Thinking of Kalec brought a smile to Jaina's lips and a warm feeling to her heart. "Unlikely as it might be, we have."

"Unlikely?"

"Has anyone mentioned the conflict we call the Nexus war?"

"It has been mentioned by some of your people, but I do not know the details."

Jaina explained, "The blue dragons have been the keepers of magic for eons. Their first Aspect went mad and never quite recovered. Malygos decided all the younger races weren't using magic wisely. He tried to take it away forcibly and made war on anyone who did not submit to him and his oversight." She swirled the tea around. "To save magic in Azeroth, the other Aspects agreed he had to die. When he was gone the war on mortal mages ended, but the hard feelings have not. Kalec is of the blue dragon flight. He was chosen as their leader."

"And so because you are leaders from two warring peoples, you are an unlikely pair."

"That and I'm human and he is not." Snide remarks Jaina had accidentally overheard or had been meant to hear came back to her. They had been mostly crude and fairly unimaginative. She hadn't expected to hear her relationship with Arthas brought up again. Those remarks had been cutting because they were unexpected. She'd heard them all before, though.

"It sounds like that concerns you," Yu-len observed.

"It isn't their business," Jaina said. _Or yours_ , she thought. "He is the best thing that has happened to me since-" she gritted her teeth as she spoke, "Since Theramore was obliterated by a cowardly monster. Which is why I was here for the trial. Why I had to relive everything." _Why I died._

Her words were venomous she realized distantly. The cup in her hands had frozen over, the tea becoming a peridot block of ice. She felt a queasy knot form around her heart. Jaina set the cup on the table, hand shaking a little. She folded her hands together in the voluminous sleeves of her robes and hugged herself.

_I don't like this feeling,_ she thought. Shame for losing her composure in front of the healer caught in her throat, compounding the rising ache. Her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed. She'd thought she was beyond this, finally. Had yesterday been nothing but lies? "I thought it was over."

Yu-len tilted her head inquisitively and sat forward, brow furrowed. "What was over, Lady?" Her question was gentle with concern that made Jaina feel all the worse.

Jaina clenched her hands into fists and fought the sudden onrush of tears stinging her eyes. "The fury. The need to hate and lash out. It isn't right." She took a deep breath in then let it out shakily. "I don't want it anymore. I thought it was over. I thought I was fixed." 

"You are not broken."

She shook her head. She was so tired of these feelings. "I thought yesterday might have stopped it. I thought I decided it was done." _I thought I could be me again. I didn't want him to take me, too._ She'd felt so whole after she'd been spared death.

"You were injured by what Hellscream did. You are still healing. Such things cannot be done in a day."

"It's been over a year. I should have gotten over this," Jaina snapped then immediately winced. There was no reason for her to snap at the healer.

"Lady Jaina," Yu-len's voice was calm, "You have chosen to win this battle already, yet choosing to win and actually winning are not the same. I would very much like to help you."

Jaina finally dared to look at Yu-len. She found neither condemnation nor judgement nor pity; her smile was kind and more than that, accepting. 

"How?" The word came out as ragged and broken as Jaina felt. She'd had the steady support and love from those she considered family, and the love and encouragement from Kalec this whole time. Only yesterday she had been reminded of what it was to feel normal. She'd thought herself finally, fully free! Yet here were the same dark feelings, lurking at the edge of her soul, waiting to take more bites until she was consumed entirely.

"Not all wounds are physical, Lady. You have been grievously wounded emotionally. Sometimes our warriors are wounded as you have been. We have developed ways of healing the mind to match the healed body. With your permission I would like to conduct those treatments with you."

Yu-len held out a hand, palm up. "You are not alone in having this reaction, nor are you alone in needing a healer to help you. I am trained in this type of healing. Will you let me?" 

Jaina looked at the healer's hand then met the her eyes again. "Yesterday... I felt good. I haven't felt that way in _so long_." Jaina took her hand with unseemly, desperate haste, but found she didn't care. She was at the point she would try anything to forever escape Garrosh's shadow. She'd had a taste of lightness, a reminder, and she wanted more than his infecting darkness. Yu-len enfolded Jaina's hand in both of her own and and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"The first step is the hardest and you have already taken it. I will not promise it will be easy but you _will_ begin to feel better. This is not a wound that can be healed in a single day."

Jaina nodded as she dabbed at her eyes with her free hand. "What do I need to do?"

"You and I are going to be doing a lot of talking. Sometimes when the injury is so severe, we are unable to see a way to escape the anger and sadness. Like a maelstrom it becomes an unending current. Disrupt the current and the negative feelings lose power."

Jaina frowned. "It cannot be that simple."

"Simple does not always mean easy, Lady," Yu-len reminded her with a touch of gentle humor in her tone.

Jaina nodded, conceding the point. "When do you want to start?"

"I think that now would be best."

"Now?"

"Doubts can eat resolve like vermin in rice fields. We will speak for awhile today and again tomorrow. After that we shall schedule regular meetings. As you heal and become more comfortable, they will become less frequent." Yu-len squeezed her hand again. "I will always be an ear for you to speak with, Lady. Anything you might say to me now or in the future, about anything, is held in utmost confidence."

Jaina nodded. "Thank you."

"Sit back. Make yourself comfortable and I shall get more tea."

Jaina sat back feeling anything but comfortable. A new mug of tea was pressed into her hands, the liquid inside dark and warm. A glass of water and pitcher were placed on the table beside her. Jaina glanced at the door flap and idly entertained the thought of leaving, fleeing, but no. No. She would do this. If there was help to be found through talking, and she was dubious of this, then she would make the attempt. Jaina wanted to be free of the rage, wanted to rebuild her life.

Yu-len cleared away the iced-over cup. She left some cubes of sugar with Jaina and added something to the brazier which filled the room with a gentle, soothing scent. This tea was dark and earthy and more like what she'd grown up with. Jaina let a few blocks of sugar dissolve into her mug. Yu-len returned and sat across from her, her legs folded tailor style.

"Centuries ago, Pandaren healers noticed that sometimes our warriors had trouble adjusting after the danger had passed. These wounds made them vulnerable to the Sha, which is terrible, but it also had a negative effect on their families and loved ones even if no Sha ever manifested. Over the years we have learned more about what non-physical injures a warrior might receive, and even better, how to heal it when it does occur."

"When we began the journey here on Thunder isle, the Shado-pan expected there would be difficult times. I was assigned here to help those who might need to heal their spirits as well as their bodies. The wounds you bear, Lady Jaina, were not all made here, but great and terrible as they are, you will see them _end_ here. And so, we will talk and speak of what troubles your mind and soul, Lady Jaina."

Jaina dropped her eyes from the healer and studied her tea.What troubled her? How did one put something so enormous into words? The uneasy place she had made for herself in Dalaran had been so much gossamer threadwork, easily torn by the same uncaring hands that had brought her there when she had nothing else; another betrayal she should have expected. And her home... It wasn't just the death of a kingdom, small as it might have been, it was the death of _her_ kingdom. How could she explain about the rage which smoldered for so long and even now threatened to burn away the few remains of happiness she had clung to jealously? 

How could she stop it when she had been resurrected from the _dead_ and it still haunted her?

Yu-len sipped her tea then spoke again, drawing Jaina from her woolgathering. "There is no magical potion nor healing spell I can cast. The change must come from you; no one else can do this for you. It begins with awareness, Lady. You said you felt broken. Please, speak to me about what that means to you."

Jaina ran a finger around the rim of her teacup as she tried to compose her thoughts. Wasn't it obvious? "I was not always angry and bitter," Jaina said at length. "I know I have become both of these things, though I should not be. People expect it now. At the trial I heard myself before Theramore. Saw myself. There was a vision made by the bronze dragons. I was... different." How young she'd sounded and it had been just a year. How naive and stupid.

"How did you feel seeing your younger self?"

Jaina thought about that for a moment. "Sad. Angry Garrosh killed that part of me. Pity. That Jaina didn't know everyone else was right. She was naive and ignorant. Angry I had deluded myself. Angry I had to hear and see it again."

"Anger was not common to you before?" Yu-len asked and Jaina nodded. "And so you feel you are broken because now you feel anger and bitterness?"

Jaina gritted her teeth. "Somehow I'm the one who always has to be sweetness and light and when my eyes are opened to the truth-" She bit off the statement, hands curling into a fist.

"Lady, no one can be any one thing entirely without rest."

Jaina's snorted sardonically. "And yet here I am. I cannot stop. It's so easy and it's all the time." She felt angry for feeling angry, and she was so tired of it. So tired. "I didn't even feel this way when... Do you know of the Lich King?"

The Pandaren woman nodded hesitantly. "I have met your "death knights" as they call themselves. I am aware of some of what transpired."

Jaina grimaced. "Briefly then, Arthas and I were once... close. If he hadn't fallen, we might have wed. I didn't see him falling to darkness until he was too far gone. I had hoped that by leaving he would see the path he'd been on was wrong, that he would change, but he didn't. He chose evil. Even after all he did, all the death and destruction, even knowing I should have seen it sooner and maybe done something, I did not feel this rage. Just sadness. If I was not consumed by rage then, why now?"

"Anger can have a purpose, but anger should not rule our thoughts. From what you were saying earlier, being angry so much of the time when before it was unusual to be angry at all is stressful and displeasing to you. What about your angry feelings and actions do you most dislike?"

All of it, she wanted to snap. Instead she gritted her teeth tried to think more logically. "I don't like to have pushed people away. I don't like it when people flinch when I walk into a room or when I speak. They get defensive and it makes everything harder. I'm supposed to be a peacemaker," Jaina said. "It was always Varian who was beating the war drums. I tried for years to get him to see my way of thinking, but he never listened! No one listened!"

"No one at all?"

Jaina let out a breath. There was someone who'd listened and she had to acknowledge him despite the howling anger. "Anduin did. I didn't want him to be the snarling wolf Varian can be. But he's a child and had no power to help me." She grimaced. "And I have snapped at him and he does not deserve that. And now he and Varian-" she trailed off shaking her head.

"They are what?" Yu-len prompted when she remained silent.

Jaina glared. "They're trying to play at peacemaker when it. Won't. Work."

"Leaving that thought aside for a moment, return to Prince Anduin. From your tone of voice it sounds like you especially dislike snapping at him?"

"Of course!" Jaina snapped. She winced. "Sorry."

"I understand and take no offense, Lady."

Jaina sighed. She slumped forward, her elbows resting on her knees, shoulders hunched. "It's like that. I never used to do that. I used to hold my tongue and be polite like a proper lady. I would never have yelled at Anduin like that."

"Tell me about the Prince. Why is it that yelling at him seems to be the most distressing?"

_Because it was_ Anduin, she thought. Aloud she answered, "He calls me Aunt." She felt a smile creep into her expression. "When Varian went missing, I stepped in to help Anduin, to look for Varian and to be there since Anduin had no one else. Courtiers and lords aren't family. They wanted to use and manipulate him." Jaina studied the delicate pattern on the china teacup as she collected her thoughts. 

"They're my family, now. Anduin and Varian both. I don't think it is likely I'll ever have children, but I helped with Anduin. He's become one of the most kindhearted people on all of Azeroth; even the Light can see it." She smiled, though her heart ached with love for the boy and sorrow for the pain she and others had caused him. "He does not need me snapping and yelling at him. Not when he has so much else to deal with."

"So you feel your anger has a negative impact on your relationships with your family."

Jaina nodded once more. "When I've yelled or snarled, he is afraid. That isn't right. I should be someone he can trust and not someone he fears."

"Lady Jaina, you have said a great deal about what you should or should not be."

Jaina looked up. "Have I?"

The Pandaren healer nodded. "Yes. You have claimed you should be "sweetness and light", and that you are also supposed to be a peacemaker and a proper lady. You have also said that you feel you should never be angry, that 'it isn't right' for you to feel that way, ever. Who is dictating these things to you?"

Jaina glared. "What do you mean? I have responsibilities. My station. My power. These are what dictate those things." It had always been that way, even as a little girl. She was the Lord Admiral's daughter, a princess of one of the human kingdoms. It was expected she be perfect for her father, for her tutors, for Kul Tiras, for the other kingdoms of the Alliance, for Arthas, for Antonidas, for her people in Theramore and finally Dalaran- for all the good she'd done any of them. Perfect, kind, sweet, biddable Jaina.

She set her jaw and lifted her chin slightly. "It is how I should be. Others rely on me because of who and what I am. I am obligated to be the best. It is my duty."

The pandaren woman inclined her head, accepting Jaina's answer. She arched an eyebrow as she asked her next question. "Ask yourself this, would you expect someone else with the same power and station, perhaps His Majesty King Varian, or His Highness the Prince, or your mate, to never become angry? To always be perfect?"

Jaina frowned. "Of course not." Light knew Varian had a temper. Kalec had been well intentioned as a leader but he'd made mistakes, too.

"Is it perhaps unreasonable to require that you yourself be happy at all times? To be completely perfect?"

Jaina started to deny that but logically... Why? The thought made her feel uncomfortable for some reason. It had always been her job to play peacemaker, to be the logical, rational, practical one. To be the calm, happy one. It was her place in the world. Otherwise what else was she? Did she have a purpose?

"I-" she paused and shoved the uncomfortable thoughts aside. Anger was her problem. The rest was fine. "Accepting that it is natural to be unhappy and angry sometimes but not all the time, why can't I stop now?"

"You have stated you do not like the negative reactions and you do not like how it has disrupted your life. Let us explore then why you might be returning to these feelings. You said when we started speaking that you 'did not want the anger anymore'. Would you talk a little bit about that?"

Jaina started to deny she had said any such thing, but she had, when she'd broken down. Kalec had said the same to her on the beach. Her double had wallowed in it. Jaina looked at her hands. Did she want it?

The answer was slow coming because she already knew it in her heart but she'd not wished to admit it. "Part of me likes it. I know it is wrong," she said the last quickly, not daring to look up. The truth twisted in her stomach. Kalec had been right and she had not wanted to speak the words aloud, fearing he would leave, that they might twist her even further.

"Why do you think a part of you likes your anger?"

Jaina shook her head, shrugging her shoulders. _If I knew I could stop,_ she thought.

"Think back to times where you felt anger as you do now and examine the moment. Do you recall the first time, or one of the times you felt that way?"

She nodded. "After Theramore. I think it is reasonable to be angry after that." 

"I know what happened to your city, Lady. Being angry over something so horrible is a valid response; that you were angry and that you had a right to be are not in dispute. Instead, I wish for you to talk about how you felt in that moment. How did your anger feel then? What else were you feeling?"

She didn't wish to recall that terrible day, not after she'd had to recount it the day before. Jaina tried to distance herself and think about the feelings involved and not revisit the feelings themselves. When she spoke it was haltingly. 

"It felt like something." She remembered the warped sound of gravel crunching under her as her feet touched the shattered ground. "After... After I returned, I felt... lost. Adrift. Empty. Everything was gone." The utter desolation, the near silence. Only the muted sound of the waves crashing on the shore remained. Life had been ripped away from her city, leaving nothing but the wind and purple ash. Her screams had filled the silence. The anger had rushed in like a tide, filling her. Jaina took a moment to sip her tea. Her hand shook a little as she set the cup down. 

"And again no one was listening." She shook her head and corrected herself. "No... They did listen, but they didn't understand." Jaina looked up. "I think... I think some of them understand better now after having to see it."

"Which is good, yes?"

Jaina nodded.

"Let us continue in the past. You felt lost and empty and the rage filled the space."

Jaina nodded once more. "When I was angry it didn't hurt so much to feel. It was something I could hold onto. I felt.... I knew I could act.."

"So your anger has given you a sense of control."

Jaina looked up, startled with how right the words were, how they resonated. "Yes." 

_I could wipe the whole city from the world as mine had been,_ Jaina thought. _It was in my power to do it, possibly even without the Focusing Iris. I could make Garrosh hurt._ She let out a shaky breath. Purging the Sunreavers she had arrested control of the situation in Dalaran. She thought of other cases in the past year and while small in comparison, there were others. 

"Yes, it has," Jaina said. "Many times."

"Is that perhaps another aspect that is appealing?"

"It could be," Jaina admitted, but it sounded right to her.

Yu-len nodded, her expression sympathetic rather than the hatred Jaina had expected. "So let us summarize. You are feeling anger more often than before. You do not like the feeling because it negatively impacts your good relationships. You like the feeling because it gives you a sense of control both in life situations and in your emotions. You have also discussed how you feel you are required to be happy at all times by your duties and station, which is distressing when you have valid feelings of anger. This creates a conflict between what you believe you are expected to feel, and what you actually feel."

"It sounds so simplistic when you summarize it," Jaina groused.

"Think instead that we have dissected some of the many facets of what you are feeling. The feelings and behaviors you are finding problematic can be addressed because you are now more aware of all of what you feel. Is it not easier to solve a problem when you know all the information?"

"True," Jaina admitted.

"Lady I would like for you to try something for the next day. When you are feeling this anger, as soon as you realize it, I want you to take a moment and to step back. Are you trying to take control to feel safe? Consider if the reaction you are feeling now fits the current situation or if it is an echo of the trauma you faced. Challenge the thought. Disrupt the negative flow."

Jaina nodded. 

She smiled kindly. "We are done for today."

"Done? Already?"

Yu-len chuckled. "Already. It is best to do it in this way, with many focused sessions. A day of this?" she shook her head. "Unhealthy." Yu-len rose and Jaina followed her lead. "See your nephew and your mate. Live your life. It is not on hold."

Jaina let out a puff of air. "I suppose it isn't." She bowed to the healer. "Thank you."

Yu-len bowed in return. "I will see you at this time tomorrow morning. When you must return to Dalaran we will make arrangements."

"I can make a portal," Jaina said. "Or have someone make one for me if I cannot by then. Meeting where you choose will be no issue for me."

"Then I will see you tomorrow, Lady."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leap day chapter! Jaina tries to continue to sort out her thoughts and feelings. Chatting with Anduin who's chafing at being "the kid" and trying to sort out his own feelings on what went down the previous day. Cuddling with dragons. Slight time compression of events as they happened in game. timey-wimey.
> 
> Thank you all for the continued Kudos :D

Jaina felt wrung out after she left the healer, but oddly better than she had before. It was strange since all she'd done was tell the Pandaren woman about her life. She had been able to verbalize some of her frustrations, though. It seemed like she'd done nothing, but she did feel better for having had the discussion. The retelling of her experience at Theramore's End at the trial had been somewhat similar. Maybe there was something to all this talking after all. 

Hope rekindled in her chest once more. She was wounded. It was not an excuse it was a fact. And she could heal. It had taken Varian time and the expertise of the Worgen to resolve his troubles, it might take something else for her as well. She would get through this. Jaina squared her shoulders as she walked through camp. Outside the yurt, the cloud cover had lightened to indicate it was around noon. She wondered if Anduin had left for Stormwind or not.

"Aunt Jaina!"

Apparently not. She smiled as Anduin trotted up to her. Her smiled faded as his did. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, embracing her in a tight hug. He frowned, concerned.

She returned the tight hug and sighed deeply. "I will be."

"Nightmares?" he asked with an expression far too serious for someone his age. "I had them last night."

She smoothed his hair. "Not last night. I was speaking with Healer Yu-len about painful topics. Did you talk with your father about your nightmares?"

"A little." He offered his arm and Jaina took it. "I don't think father slept well either. I have faith everything will be okay, but there are moments where it's hard to remain optimistic or to remember I'm safe."

"Yes," she said. Jaina knew that feeling well. He looked up at her quizzically. Jaina noticed he didn't need to tilt his head back so much. Had he grown since even yesterday? She patted his arm. "Yes," she agreed. "But your father and I and everyone else tries our best. Sometimes I forget that, too."

"I'm glad you didn't have nightmares," he said as they walked. Anduin slyly grinned at her and had the cheek to arch an eyebrow. "Did you have a pleasant evening instead?"

"Anduin Wrynn you are far too young to be saying things like that!" she scolded, startled.

“I’m sixteen! Almost seventeen!” he protested with a laugh but there was a defiant flash in his eyes. Jaina recognized it as a desire to be older, to do more, to be taken seriously, to be more adult. She could understand his feelings and sympathize with him; but a prince did not ask such things of a lady.

"Sixteen is an age where I would hope you would be _gentlemanly_ enough to know that you do not ask a lady such personal questions even indirectly."

"Yes, Auntie." He sighed, chastised.

She gave him an arch look. "Do you _really_ want the intimate details of my life?" She doubted he'd really thought things through.

He blanched, eyes suddenly huge. "No!"

"Thought so." Jaina smirked and changed the topic to another one where he might be able to spread his wings a bit. "Tell me more about your studies, or," she looked around then lowered her voice into a conspiratorial whisper. "Varian's not here. You can tell me all the details you left out about your adventure to find the Vale because it would have him fall into a fit." 

Anduin bit his lip to stifle a young-sounding giggle. The devious mirth returned to his eyes.

"It sounds like you learned a lot, but I want to know everything," Jaina said, directing their stroll to her tent. "I'm..." she trailed off and stopped in the path. "This entire year has been a struggle. I'm sorry."

He hugged her again. "I've just wanted you to be happy again." He smiled up at her. "Kalec seems to make you happy."

She nodded. "He does."

"And you make him happy."

She smiled slightly. "I hope I do."

"You do. He lights up when you're near."

Jaina smiled a little more broadly. "I intended to be near more often now. To you and Varian as well." She started to speak and found she had to clear her throat against a sudden ache. Anduin watched her patiently, stopping on the path. She finally got herself under control. 

"If you would like," Jaina said, "I could make you another hearthstone so you might come visit me in Dalaran. If you like, that is-"

"Would you, please?" Anduin said almost before she was finished speaking. "I liked being able to drop by for tea sometimes."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "When I return home I'll make one for you." Her lips twisted into a rueful smile. "Or rather when I can cast magic again I'll make one." Anduin looked alarmed and she patted his shoulder. "Still recovering from yesterday. It'll be several days before I'm back up to normal. It's a bit strange to be this low on mana," she confided.

He looked relieved she wasn't hurt further. "Well," he said, holding up a hand and speaking with a serious mein, "when you are able to make another stone, I solemnly promise that I will try not to appear during potentially treasonous, inappropriate or otherwise embarrassing moments."

Jaina laughed with him. "So. You went on a daring adventure here in Pandaria. Still care to tell me all the details?"

"Of course!" Anduin said, beginning to regale her with the tale from the beginning, starting with just how stuffy the crew of the ship had been before they'd been blown off course.

Jaina was beginning to feel unsteady again as they arrived at her tent. Kalec was eating brunch and reading one of the research books she'd brought with her on the off chance she'd want to immerse herself in something utterly unrelated to the trial. The book was suspended in a faint blue aura as he read while he ate noodles from a bowl. He hastily set both the book and the food aside as Jaina and Anduin entered the tent.

"Sorry that took so long," Jaina apologized as they embraced. She sighed and leaned against him.

"Are you well?" Kalec brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

She smiled a little. "I will be." She leaned up on her toes to kiss him. "Anduin was just telling me all the details of his adventure in Pandaria. All the bits he might have, ah, neglected to tell Varian."

Kalec chuckled. "Shall I leave to preserve my plausible deniability?"

"Only if you like," Anduin said. "I don't mind. You at least seem to be a trustworthy dragon." He rolled his eyes with such fervor Jaina knew there was a story there.

"Have you been dealing with untrustworthy dragons?" Kalec asked, escorting Jaina to the seat he'd just vacated. Jaina sank into the seat with a sigh. Kalec and Anduin unfolded additional seating and sat around the small table where Kalec had been enjoying brunch.

Kalec, offered then poured Jaina a cup of coffee and one for himself. Anduin frowned and tapped his fingers on the table as he thought, declining the offer of a drink with a small wave of his hand. He waited for Kalec to sit again before speaking.

"A few times during the trial I spoke with Wrathion." Anduin winced, anticipating the reactions the adults might have.

Jaina set her mug down. One hand bunched in her skirts, the other found Kalec's long fingers and entwined with them. She took a breath and let it out slowly. She was angry with the black whelp for his part in freeing Garrosh, but she did not want to undo any progress she'd made with Anduin. The boy had flinched away and she didn't like it one bit. Jaina took another shaky breath in and out. He seemed to understand, and possibly feel some shame himself. Jaina pursed her lips and remained silent as she tried to sort out her feelings.

"He is..." Kalec spoke into the silence, shaking his head, troubled. "He is a very driven dragon for one so young. Frighteningly smart, too."

"Whelps aren't usually..." Anduin gestured vaguely, "like he is?" He tilted his head curiously.

Kalec shook his hand in a so-so gesture. "Normally our whelps are a little more like the children of other races. At least for a little while, though it can be shorter when there are threats. The Nexus war broods grew up rapidly. But not as rapidly as this." Jaina squeezed his hand in silent support as his tone turned melancholy. "Eggs are sensitive to tampering. They can be manipulated." He grimaced as he looked for words. 

"There is a lot of magic going on inside a dragon egg. It's partially what sustains an unborn dragon and contributes to why hatchlings can be born with so much knowledge; why we can push our understanding so far and so quickly." He sighed heavily. "It's also why they're the favorite targets of so many horrible experiments; because it's easy. I understand Rheastrasza did a lot of manipulating to his egg trying to get an uncorrupted black."

Anduin nodded, frowning. "He had a... complicated relationship with her memory. Somehow. He hadn't been hatched yet but he remembers her."

"She had him long enough he would normally have shell-memory of her," Kalec said with a shrug. "We're somewhat aware towards the end. Given the manipulations, he might have been more aware and possibly earlier than usual."

"He didn't like talking about it, but he didn't deny it. I get the sense he's proud of being uncorrupted." Anduin scowled. "Fat lot of good it did us here."

"Do you think he's become corrupted?" Jaina asked.

Anduin thought about that then shook his head. "No," Anduin said at length. "He doesn't feel evil, or corrupted. Onyxia could hide it well and I didn't understand what I was feeling when I was younger. I know what that's like now. The Light doesn't like it much." Anduin sighed," I don't know what Wrathion is doing, but I'm sure he thinks it's going to benefit him somehow."

"Do you know what he wants?" Kalec asked.

Anduin rubbed a hand over his face. "At this point? I don't know. He told me once he wanted to protect Azeroth. Something about a charge and he was the only one sane enough to do it."

Kalec snorted in surprise. "The Charge to the Black Dragonflight?"

"I guess?" Anduin answered.

Kalecgos made a thoughtful, rumbling sound far too large for his frame. Jaina blinked. Of course the blacks would have had a Charge as the blues did. The black dragons had been such twisted creatures for so long it was hard to remember they had once been as benevolent as the others.

"Is that important?" Anduin asked.

"I cannot say yet," Kalec said, frowning. "It could be nothing, it could be something. I can't make a determination without more information."

Anduin nodded. "He told me I shouldn't trust him. He was right."

"Black dragons are smart," Kalec said. "Very smart, very prideful and very driven. They were what Neltharion prided himself on being when he was much younger," Kalec said, a far away look in his eyes as if lost in memory. 

Perhaps he was, Jaina realized. With Tyr's artifact, Kalec had seen the Aspects, including Neltharion, when they had been proto-drakes.

"And at the beginning, they were also loyal," Kalec added with sadness. "I think it's why Deathwing targeted the blues with the Demon Soul first, rather than the bronze or red."

"He killed their loyalty and removed the other flight that valued intelligence all at once," Jaina said. Kalec nodded and squeezed her fingers. 

"And Deathwing nearly killed his own flight with his pride," Anduin concluded. "Well, Wrathion's certainly got enough pride for ten dragons even if he's not maddened or corrupt."

Jaina pulled Kalec's hand into her lap, covering his hand with both of hers. "Do you think whatever Wrathion is planning might hurt the rest of the world?" Jaina asked. Kalec traded one hand for the other and slipped his free arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him.

"Not intentionally," Anduin decided after a moment. He shook his head. "Can we get back to the adventure in the Vale? It- He told me not to trust him. It kinda stings that I did and people were hurt."

"He made his own choice," Kalec reminded him.

"Yeah," Anduin sighed. "Yeah. Anyway."

"You were at the part about the Pandaren father and daughter you helped?" Jaina prompted.

"Right." Anduin's mood cheered as he resumed telling about his adventure trying to find the Vale.

Anduin, Jaina realized, had lived through a far more traumatic experience than he'd told anyone else. He was also far more accomplished and smarter than he gave himself credit for. He'd survived being shipwrecked in a foreign land, had avoided being captured or killed, and had made friends with the four Eternals who'd guarded the land. Jaina was intensely proud of all he'd accomplished, terrified of the danger he'd been when he'd been alone, and so proud of his bravery.

He finished his tale by glossing over the very end when he'd been injured. Other parts where he'd been afraid, he'd admitted to candidly, but this event still hurt. Jaina didn't wish to relive the experience either, so she didn't press for details. She made a promise to herself to watch him, though, lest he developed the same sort of problems she'd had.

Anduin stretched his arms over his head, shaking out his limbs after sitting for so long. "I should get home," Anduin said, glancing outside.

"I can make a portal to Stormwind," Kalec offered, squeezing Jaina's hand. She returned the gesture and gave him a smile of thanks for offering.

"Thank you," he said, smiling at the dragon and shaking his hand. He embraced Jaina.

"Come visit?" Anduin asked her as they hugged. "I've missed you."

She squeezed him more tightly. "I will."

"Promise me," he asked with eyes far too serious for someone his age. She'd not promised she would visit recently; she'd been angry and consumed in her hurt. Jaina couldn't have kept her promise and so she hadn't made one. She couldn't deny what she'd been doing, now.

"I promise," she told him, and it would take the Burning Legion to stop her.

* * *

Jaina watched as Kalec finished crafting the portal for Anduin and the remaining staff from Stormwind. He finished casting and a shimmering vision of Stormwind's city gates appeared in the air. The servants began to pass through, carrying the camp supplies to be returned. Anduin gave her a final hug, shook hands with Kalec once more, then passed through the portal.

Jaina twined her fingers with Kalec's and watched until the last of the party had passed through and the doorway shut. She drew in a deep breath and let it out. "Would you take me home please?"

He lifted her hands to his lips. "Of course, my lady."

* * *

When Jaina and Kalec arrived in Dalaran it was early afternoon. The citizens were going about their everyday lives as they had before she'd left for the trial ten days ago. They'd have continued if she'd died as well. It was a sobering thought and Jaina shivered. Kalec's hand brushed hers, offering support if she wished it. She took his hand, composed herself, then strode out into the street, head held high, heading for the Citadel. 

Her determined walk lasted all of a block before she needed to slow down. Kalec tucked her arm into his and began to ask about this or that, turning it into a pleasant stroll rather than a slow, embarrassing stagger. The topic of conversation turned to how the city itself was run, with individuals or teams donating their time or energy to maintain the various systems Dalaran needed to remain functional.

"We all took turns maintaining the wards and helping with the upkeep around the Nexus," he said with a wistful smile. "I haven't been approached to help here yet. I would like to do so."

"I will keep that in mind," she said as they finally made it to the citadel. She looked at the steep stairs and sighed before beginning the climb. "I'll ask who needs some extra arcane muscle," she told him with a gentle smile. "You may need to fill in for me. I can hardly conjure right now." Finally they reached the top of the steps and Jaina sighed. 

"Would you like me to find a healer?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

"No, I'm just tired. Healer Yu-len said it would probably happen."

"Archmage!" Modera was hurrying down the steps towards them. She cast a brief look at Kalec then looked back at Jaina. The older woman looked spooked. Kalec stepped away, giving them some space, but Jaina stopped him from leaving entirely with a hand on his wrist.

"Archmage Modera," Jaina inclined her head. "I assume you got my message?"

"We did," Modera said, caught off guard by the question. "Actually I was on my way to Pandaria to give you an update. Khadgar's just left for the Dark Portal." Modera quickly explained the situation; the invasion of orcish forces from an alternate Draenor of the past.

Jaina listened to the report and nodded. "Khadgar is well suited to this task. I am glad they were able to mobilize tp stop the invasion so quickly."

Modera nodded in agreement. "Yes, as am I. Archmage... Jaina are you well?"

"I died." Jaina smiled thinly. "So I am doing considerably better than I was at this time yesterday."

"You-" Modera frowned. She looked to Kalec, who nodded grimly, then back to Jaina. "We'd heard there was a battle and you had been gravely wounded but King Varian said you would recover," Modera explained. "The apprentice who handed me your missive said you came into camp covered in blood. Honestly I wasn't expecting to see you on your feet for some time." Modera sounded impressed. "Not that you look entirely steady right now, Jaina."

"If pressed I might be able to conjure water," Jaina admitted. "The Celestials healed everyone who had been hurt, or worse."

"I imagine that would come at a cost," Modera said, quickly grasping what ailed Jaina. She shook herself slightly and asked in a more businesslike tone, "What are we to do?"

"Support Khadgar's expedition," Jaina said, "And see to the city here." She reached a blind hand back and Kalec offered his elbow. She took it and tried not to look like she had to lean on him too heavily, then gave up. She'd died. She could lean on his arm to stand; there was no shame in that.

"I'll continue coordinating then," Modera told her, eyes flicking to the dragon briefly.

"Please do." Jaina nodded. "Is there anything else going on I should know about or that needs my attention, Modera?"

"Not at this time," she said.

"Thank you. If I could ask you to keep on top of things for another day, I would appreciate it."

"I would have offered anyway," Modera said. "Go rest and recover. The way things have been going this year I'm sure there will be plenty of mess for you to help sort out later."

Jaina nodded. "I will be out of the city for awhile tomorrow morning and possibly again at the same time the next day," Jaina told her. "The Pandaran healer in Violet Rise wishes to see me daily for awhile."

There had been an argument between her and the other council members over this point. In the end they agreed she did not need to sign off on trivial matters and she agreed she would tell someone if she intended to leave the city. What constituted a trivial matter was still sometimes up for debate, but it was courteous to tell others she was leaving. 

Modera peered at her again, reassessing her health. "Of course."

"If anyone needs me, I will be in my quarters, probably sleeping." Jaina said, rubbing fingers over her temple. She was getting a headache. "Please wake me if it's important, though."

Modera had been eying the dragon and Jaina caught her before the other mage shifted her gaze. She nodded. "Get some sleep," Modera said, giving Kalec a pointed look. She turned and strode off before either could react.

Jaina pressed her forehead against Kalec's shoulder. "Why does the world fight me?"

Kalec slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Let me escort you home."

He took her home, pausing at the doorway. She pulled him inside with a gentle touch at his elbow.

"Stay. Please," she pled. "Just hold me."

He took her hand, kissed her fingers and let her lead him to her bedroom. She sank into the bed fully clothed and without bothering with her shoes. Gentle hands removed the shot boots for her and she smiled thanks then patted the mattress beside her. The bed dipped with his weight and she rolled over into his arms, tucking her head under his chin.

"The healer wishes to see you tomorrow?" Kalec asked.

Her fingers traced the edges of his vest and the ties of his shirt. She nodded. 

He cleared his throat. "Ah- I didn't hurt you last night, did I?" he asked, fearful.

"No!" She laughed quietly then kissed him. "No, you haven't hurt me. Last night was wonderful. If I did not feel so awful I would be very tempted to revisit some of my favorite parts."

He smiled, relief clear on his face. Kalec rolled onto his back, bringing her with him so she rested across his chest. "Is the healer just concerned then?" He began to run gentle fingers through her hair, grooming the white locks.

"No," she said. Her fingers continued to play over the seams of his vest. 

She was embarrassed for needing help but a voice that sounded very much like the Pandaren healer asked why? Would she have condemned anyone else? She hadn't scorned Varian when he struggled. He'd needed help too and had found it among the worgen. Jaina leaned forward and kissed him.

"Healer Yu-len is going to try to help me with the anger," she told him. "She said sometimes it happens to Shado-pan warriors. Their minds and emotions become so injured and they have trouble healing on their own. I'm not a warrior but the more she spoke, the more it sounded like the correct diagnosis."

"You are a warrior. You might not be like Varian with Shalamayne, but you fight; with magic when called for but more often with words at the negotiation table."

Jaina thought about that. "I suppose I've been doing it for awhile." A lifetime. No wonder she was so tired.

"Peace is a long siege, beloved." He ran his fingers up and down her back. "And you have often been alone."

Jaina smiled and tightened her arms around him. "I like being your beloved." She rested her cheek against his chest. "I do not like feeling angry, Kalec. I am determined to be well, but I don't know how soon it will be."

"I will be here," he promised. His hands continued to stroke down her hair and over her back. "You are a kind, wonderful, brilliant soul, Jaina. I haven't known how to help you and it has hurt."

"What you said on the beach finally got through to me. I don't know if I would be trying this Pandaren mind healing if you hadn't loved me as you have. Thank you."

"I'm glad to have helped even a little." He kissed her brow. "You seem lighter today."

Jaina smiled again at the and snuggled closer. "I feel lighter. Hopeful." She felt relieved, too. She wasn't doomed to sadness and darkness; it was an injury and she'd found a way she might heal. She yawned. "Will you stay here in Dalaran tonight? With me?"

"I will," he told her. "You should sleep."

She sighed and nodded. "You know where my library is if you get bored," she murmured. He chuckled as she curled against his side, resting her head on his shoulder. Kalec began to hum as he continued to stroke gentle fingers through her hair. Smiling, Jaina fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares, fluff and therapy pt 2
> 
> Thank you for the continued Kudos!

Jaina leaned against Kalec's shoulder, their hands entwined. He turned and placed a kiss against her temple. She smiled and wrapped her other hand around his. She wished for more of life than existing as a wraith in Garrosh Hellscream's shadow and she had realized this before she made a terrible mistake. She loved more than she hated and Garrosh was not worth throwing away happiness. Anduin and Varian settled into their seats beside her and she gave them a brief smile before resting her head against Kalec's shoulder again. There was much for them to work on but they would when the trial was over. Before them, the trial came back to order. Accuser and Defender standing off once more as Garrosh entered the room. Chromie was missing but Karioz remained, fiddling with his hourglass.

A feeling of dread stole over Jaina. She'd seen this before. She knew what happened next. She watched the bronze dragon tip the hourglass over, unable to move or call out any warnings. Jaina was too slow. The sands spilled onto the floor creating a rift. Garrosh and Karioz disappeared into the whirling sands of time. Out of the rift came dark, twisted, bellicose versions of themselves.

A maddened Kalecgos laughed insanely as he shot out of the portal and into the air. He swept down upon the crowd, breathing pure arcane energy across the fleeing audience, turning them to violet ash. Her Kalecgos ran clear, transformed, then followed his alternate self into the air. Kalec slammed into the other Kalecgos, the heavy sound of impact ringing across the temple grounds. The two dragons began to fight, large talons ripping into one another, showering the ground with red. Flashes of violet erupted between them as they used their deadly breath on one another. Furious roars and cries of pain were drowned out by the roar of a fireball impacting the seats. Jaina was thrown clear but she was badly burned and the wind knocked out of her. The seating area where she'd been was gone, leaving only blackened corpses... Anduin and Varian. Jaina watched, unable to move or truly comprehend until she heard a cool voice scoff.

Jaina was finally able to turn her head. She saw herself stride out of the cloudy mist that permeated tdhe court. Violet ash swirled around this Jaina's feet, another fireball forming in her hands, madness and murder in her eyes. Jaina rose and attacked her dark self with a scream of defiance and pain. She formed a spell, the same one she'd turned against Go'el when he'd tried to talk her out of drowning Orgrimmar. This time she didn't have the distraction of hundreds of water elementals. She threw her hands outwards, directing the spell against herself. It formed into a thick blast of pure violet energy that cut down the other Jaina, turning her into an explosion of violet ash and arcane energy.

Jaina fell to her knees and stared, numb. Every other life in the court was dead; snuffed out by the mad dragon or the mad sorceress.

In the sky the dragons fought as silhouettes, their roars echoing in the darkening, sickly green clouds where pale lightning crackled through the sky. Fel light cast upon the world and freezing cold filled the dead courtyard. The steady flap of great wings caused Jaina to look up. She expected to see Kalecgos but instead saw the Red Crane.

He landed and stalked towards her, his beak somehow sharper, his eyes and feathers blazing.

"You have squandered my gift, Jaina Proudmoore!" he proclaimed, coming to loom over her. "And so I take it back!" He opened his wings and Jaina couldn't breathe. The sharp pain in her chest exploded into a burning sensation and she found the bullet hole was there once more. She was covered in her own hot blood, scalding in the icy air. The crane turned with a contemptuous toss of his head and flew away without a further glance at her.

"Jaina," a hollow voice, a perversion of one she'd known and loved, flowed in with a chill blast of wind. "Jaina!"

"N-no," she gasped weakly. 

The sickly glowing green clouds burned with their own eerie light. Death pressed in around the temple. Snow and ice fell. She could smell decomposing flesh becoming stronger than the rotted sulfur smell of fel energies. Undead marched into the temple grounds ahead of a tall figure in dark armor. Dead, white hair, drifted on the wind. It had been the color of sunlight once, as hers had been. It was lifeless now. As hers was becoming, the last strands of gold fading away to dead white. Cold blue eyes burned from beneath the tall helm. Frostmourne was held in his hand and Jaina could feel its endless hunger. The glowing sigils engraved on the blade glowed through a thick layer of red blood. Jaina somehow knew the blood was dragon.

"Come with me, Jaina, my queen."

"No," she rasped.

"You are a bringer of death. You belong with me."

Heavy wingbeats resolved into two undead dragons, two newly born frostwyrms. Both Kalecgos. One laughed and cried with insanity, his great paws digging furrows in the ground as he was now stuck in horrible unlife. The other stood perfectly still in death, an obedient automaton, the huge gash in his neck struck to the bone. Beside her Kalecgos, Varian stepped out from the fog, cold blue light animating his burned corpse; Shalamayne blazed with corrupted fel energy in the hands of the new Death Knight. And a smaller, charcoal black figure beside him...

She sank to the ground, still trying to breathe, turning her eyes away from her dead loved ones. Hands erupted from the soil, grabbing her. Death Knights approached, Varian at their head, their hands reaching out to drag her before Arthas.

"Come to me, Jaina."

* * *

"Jaina!"

She woke fighting against the restraints around her limbs. She called out in wordless rage and fear as skeletal hands held her down.

"Jaina!"

She realized she wasn't fighting death knights and stilled. Panting she looked around and saw she was in her bedroom in Dalaran; it had all been a nightmare. The restraints had been the heavy blankets on her bed. Kalec held a striking fist away from his face, his grip loosened as she stilled. She let out an unsteady laugh in relief.

"You're okay," he said, sitting beside her on the bed. He offered his arms and she leaned against him, trying to calm her racing heart. "Give it a moment, beloved. You're okay." Kalec holding her helped her feel warm and living. Hearing his voice helped chase away the cold, hollow voice that had whispered her name. The trial had not killed everyone she loved. They were safe. She was safe.

She shivered as the instinct to fight or flee drained away. "Thank you for staying."

"Of course." He kissed her hair and stroked over her back, soothing her. "Nightmare?"

She nodded.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

"It was the end of the trial. I killed the other me after she killed-" Jaina swallowed. "After she killed Varian and Anduin. The Crane took his gift back. Arthas was there to make me into a litch. He'd already turned you and your mad self into frostwyrms. Arthas raised..." She broke off with a shudder. Anduin had been burned like Bolvar had been at the end, before he'd sacrificed himself. Jaina shuddered again.

"You're safe." Kalec's arms tightened around her. "I'm here. Arthas was defeated years ago. Anduin and Varian are safe in Stormwind. You're okay. We're all okay." Kalec continued to murmur soothing affirmations and stroke her back.

Jaina buried her face against his shoulder and breathed in his scent; the storm-like tang of arcane energy, night skies and something spicy. She breathed in and out, trying to let the nightmare fade. She listened to the steady beat of his heart and the soft words. Feeling calmer she let the desperate grip on his vest ease. "Thank you." She drew a breath then sighed it out, the grip of the nightmare fading, though she still had the strange lingering feeling of dread as one did sometimes after a nightmare. "It was an awful way to wake up but at least I got some sleep. Hopefully you weren't too bored."

"Not at all," he said. "I've been reading. I also stepped out briefly for a sandwich and one of those tiny cakes."

"I cleared out my kitchen before I left for Pandaria," she said. "Sorry about that. Tiny- A cupcake?"

He nodded, eyes lit up. "Yes! A flavor called "red velvet". I think I like it more than the chocolate ones with the white icing." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I may have gone back for more."

She laughed, the remains of the nightmare finally releasing her. "How many and from Aimee's stall?"

"Yes, I think the vendor's name was Aimee."

"They're probably Kinndy's mother's baking then," Jaina said with a sad smile. "They're very good." She realized he hadn't answered the other half of her question. "How many did you get."

He ducked his head and looked up at her though long lashes. "I saved you two."

Jaina found herself smiling at his bashful avoidance. She poked his chest playfully. "Two? Out of how many?"

"Two dozen," he admitted reluctantly.

Jaina laughed, a free, full-bellied laugh, her head thrown back. It felt good to laugh. Jaina wiped at her eye and smiled at him. He was pouting, just a little. "I'm not laughing at you. Not really."

He huffed, but she didn't think he looked too offended. There was too much mirth in his eyes for that, but his cheeks were a little bit rosy with an embarrassed blush. She touched his cheek.

"Thank you for saving me a cupcake."

"Two," he said, holding up the appropriate number of fingers.

She giggled. The mention of food reminded her she'd not eaten since breakfast and her stomach rumbled. Glancing at the clock she saw it was nearly dinner time and she'd slept far longer than she'd realized. She felt the abrupt need to get up and leave; go someplace with him where there were people around.

"Would you like to go out for dinner with me?" she asked him. Her expression turned sly. "Or have you ruined your appetite?"

He snorted and rolled his eyes then pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "I would love to have dinner with you."

"Let me clean up a bit and we can go."

Kalec kissed her once more then left her to change, clearing the plates he'd used and a few of the books he'd been reading. 

Jaina rose and quickly splashed some water on her face. In the mirror she looked somewhat haggard and drawn, but she was alive and whole physically. There were lines on her face where there had been none before. The white hair made her look older than her years; far closer to fifty than almost halfway through her thirties. 

The single gold streak retained the color her hair had been before Theramore. She untucked the lock from behind her ear and brushed her hair out. At least her hair had kept its body and thickness if not the color. Arthas' hair had become dead and thin and the abrupt change in her own hair color had terrified her enough without adding additional similarity.

She ran her fingers back through her hair, watching the last gold streak fall with the rest. It had become a reminder of what she'd lost, a memory of a simpler time when she'd been more naive and optimistic than she was now. The light caught and she had the absurd notion that perhaps it wasn't a sad, passive reminder of what she'd lost; it was defiant. She was alive. She had been hurt but she was going to feel better. Hope was what remained when you had nothing else.

Jaina changed into some clean robes then went to find Kalec. The dragon was lounging on a chair in her parlor with one of the books he'd liberated from her library. He set the book down and rose with a soft smile, holding out a hand. She took his hand and wove her fingers through his.

Night had fallen. Kinndy's father had already gone on his rounds and every street lamp was surrounded by a warm glow of light. Kalec followed her gaze.

"Do the lights still dance?" he asked.

She nodded. "I wouldn't ever be the one to revoke his permission. His municipal coordinator has no problem with it so long as he can maintain his castings for the appropriate duration. He is free to do so as long as he likes."

"It has always impressed me that one gnome is holding all these castings," Kalec said.

"Mage Sparkleshine is a very efficient caster from what I gather," Jaina said. "I noticed the same thing about Kinndy," she said, referring to her apprentice, lost with Theramore. "Kinndy had more raw power to draw on, but she made excellent use out of everything." She closed her eyes. "Could we change the topic please?" she asked quietly. "She's still... There was a lot today."

Kalec tugged gently on her hand and did so without question. "I'd like to try living here again," he told her. "I don't know I gave it a fair chance before. So much was going on." He shook his head. "I need to travel to Coldarra to keep things somewhat maintained there and I have been making contacts with small groups of blues all over Azeroth, but I'd like my home to be here. It's fair for me to help maintain the city, too. Who do I need to speak with?"

She smiled up at him. "Ansirem has taken on most of the civil mage-power logistics. I'll let him know. If I had to guess you'll be on call for the flight foci, wards and storm shields like I am. I'm on rotation to power the Violet Hold's wards this week," Jaina explained as they walked through the city. She tucked a lock of hair behind an ear. "If you're willing to help, I'll tell archmage Finch you'll be stepping in for me this time." She looked up at him. "Maybe you might have some advice on what we can do to improve our wards."

"More likely I'll be fascinated by the differences in your casting style to the ones I know. The ones in Coldarra are easy to maintain if you have many dragons. As a single dragon I am finding them to be a bit... finicky."

"Finicky?"

He nodded. "The... complexity inherent in draconic magic I have mentioned before? Our wards are strong and complex and these are old. They almost have personalities. Quirks of where they might go weakest first, or how some just... don't like the other wards. Or even some dragons for that matter."

"That sounds... Problematic."

He sighed. "It can be. I am fortunate they seem to see me as the leader of the Blue Flight, but it wasn't always that way. There is this one over on the north side." He shook his head with a small laugh.

Jaina listened to him talk about his homeland and while there was love there, there was also sadness.

"You haven't lost your home, you know," she told him when he paused. "It's different from what you grew up with, but it's still there." She offered a tentative smile. "And your flight might return someday."

"Someday," he agreed, though his mood didn't change. "I... I don't know what to do. I-" he broke off and shook his head. "You don't need my burdens."

Jaina pulled him to a halt and took both of his hands in her own. "I want to help, and it isn't just because you've helped me with mine, Kalec." She smiled up at him and lifted a gentle hand to brush his cheek, wishing she could brush away his pain. "We both had our ghosts as you have told me. Malygos is a very large ghost."

He opened his mouth to reply then closed it, looking thoughtful. At length he bowed his head. "He is." He squeezed her fingers.

"We've tried to hold our burdens alone," she said, thinking over the past year. "But we have done better when we shared them. Let me help you, too?"

He thought that over then nodded. "You are both insightful and correct, but it is not easy." He lifted one hand to his lips and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. "I will try. I am so very grateful you are here, Jaina."

The way he said it, with such surprisingly deep undercurrents of emotion, she knew he meant both alive and with him. "I am too."

* * *

The restaurant they'd chosen was one they'd been to before over the past year. It was cozy and intimate, with a blazing hearth in the main room and a lone musician playing soft melodies on a mandolin. The food was good, but it was run by a dwarf couple, so the ale, mead and beer were all excellent. The owner gave them a welcoming smile and escorted them to a quiet booth himself before leaving them in the care of one of his staff. 

The server set a tall stein in front of Kalec and left her with a cider and promised their food would arrive soon. Jaina slid closer to him in the padded both and he draped an arm around her shoulders. Here, they also never blinked an eye when Kalec ordered twice as much as what could be expected from a humanoid.

"I did I go too far earlier?" she asked. He tilted his head in inquiry and she explained, "The two dozen cupcakes. You're a dragon, you eat more." She sometimes wished she could eat a few dozen cupcakes without consequence.

His expression softened. "I'm not offended. It has, in the past, made others uncomfortable. It's... I have always felt that if you wear the form you should act like it if you are able. To do otherwise is to be rude and disrespectful for the people and the cultures you're interacting with. You haven't said anything, but I didn't want it to be something that came between us. Mostly, I like a lot of the customs. The nickname for example."

"You are who you are," she said, "and I love you. Be yourself. If that means acting like a human or an elf, then do that. And if it means you have moments where you're more draconic, that's who you are, too."

"Even if it means I eat two dozen cupcakes?"

"Even so," she said. "And if there are other things you've been avoiding, don't on my account. I mean it. Please just be yourself with me."

He pulled her closer with the arm around her shoulder. "There are days when I don't like being me very much," he admitted.

"Makes two of us. But I love you."

He smiled and rested his head against hers. "And I you. And if you would not find it too unpleasant, I would very much enjoy going flying with you on occasion. Either on gryphon back or not."

She was surprised by the simplicity of the request. "I would enjoy that, I think. I don't know how well I'd care for loops," she said, the warning more an attempt to get him to smile than any dire warning. She was rewarded when he laughed quietly.

"I shall attempt to be a stately mount then," he said, tossing his head haughtily.

She arched both eyebrows. "Oh?" she asked, the voice drowning in both humor and innuendo.

He wagged his eyebrows at her and she realized he'd made the statement as a joke. Jaina laughed, covering a hand over her mouth to keep the volume down and not disturb the other patrons.

Dinner was excellent as she'd expected it to be. The head chef, the owner's husband, came out to speak with them briefly. Jaina knew it was because the dwarf seemed to find Kalecgos fascinating. They'd not been mages during the Nexus War and so, like Jaina, regarded the blue dragon with fascination rather than disdain as some in Dalaran did. Jaina listened with half an ear as the conversation turned to fish in Northrend.

"I'd love to try one of those huge monsters they find sometimes in the deep water," the dwarf said, "But I don't know we'd be able to sell enough to make it worth the cost. Our sources are having issues coming by the smaller ones as well," he said.

Kalec frowned. "Oh? The schools should be running."

"Aye," the dwarf agreed. "So our supplier tells me, and they are, but they're fewer in number this year." He shrugged. "I'd say I would be worried next year but the last time I thought that, Deathwing nearly broke the world."

"If I could get you one of the giant tuna, would that be interesting?" Kalec asked.

"Lord Kalec,you bring me one of those monsters and I will make you and Lady Jaina a feast fit for a king," the dwarf laughed. "Still might not offset the cost but I'd love to get my hands on one of those beasties."

"I can't promise anything but I'll see what I can't do."

"What will be, will be. Anyway, I have a kitchen to get back to, so you have a pleasant evening, Lord, Lady." He bowed to them then withdrew into his domain.

"Did you just make plans for us to go fishing?" she asked.

He looked surprised. "If you would like to go. Ah, you'd have to use a gryphon. Fishing for giant usually involved diving into freezing water, so I don't think you'd like it," he said, smiling with apology. "Didn't think you'd care for fishing."

"I'm from Kul Tiras," she said, toying with her empty mug. "They toss us into the ocean as soon as we've mastered crawling. If you're old enough to stand, you're old enough to start sailing," she joked. Her lips twisted into a sad smile. "My brother always said Proudmoores had seawater in their veins. It's one of the reasons I loved Theramore so much. Not having the sea nearby was the most unexpected difficulty when I went to Dalaran as a student."

"Then we'll go flying to the seaside," he stated. "The southern coast."

"Tomorrow after my meeting in Pandaria?"

He smiled. "I believe the phrase is, 'it's a date'?"

Jaina laughed. "It's a date," she agreed.

* * *

The next morning was overcast and cold as it could sometimes be in Dalaran. The ambient spells on the city could only do so much to moderate the temperature. Winter was still far off, but the first chill of fall had made itself known. Jaina wrapped her heavy robes closer as she watched the sun struggle through the clouds. She was to return to the Violet Rise and meet with Healer Yu-Len. She wasn't exactly looking forward to the meeting, but she was committed to going. Jaina only hoped the image of the sun struggling through the clouds wasn't prophetic. She turned from her balcony, quietly closing the door against the wind, but left the curtains pulled aside to admit the thin light.

Kalec was still asleep in the bed, buried beneath the covers on his side. She sat on the edge of the bed and tried to rouse him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. He woke and stretched, arching his back like a cat, then remained flopped on his side, blinking in the thin light.

"Five more minutes?"

"You can nap while I'm speaking with Yu-Len," she said. Jaina ran her fingers through his hair, teasing apart the mussed locks. "Then we were going flying?"

"We were," he said. He rolled onto his back and stretched his arms over his head, yawning hugely. The blankets had slipped low on his hips. Jaina appreciated the view for a moment but turned away so she could shower and change. Kalec quickly followed after, they had a quick breakfast then left Dalaran.

* * *

Jaina embraced Kalec once they were on the other side of the portal. She lifted up on her toes and pressed her face against his neck. He returned the gesture, placing a gentle kiss against her neck and shoulder. She wanted to stay in his arms and avoid talking, but she was no longer content to let the anger fester. He would be here for her when she was done. She smiled and turned down the path. He watched for a moment then turned in the opposite direction, transformed and curled up in a free corner of the square.

Healer Yu-len greeted her with a smile and a warm mug of dark tea. This time it was spiced with cinnamon and hints of orange. Jaina settled into the same seat and sipped the warm drink while the pandaren woman poured her own tea and sat across from her, a small writing slate on the table beside her. Sitting like this, Jaina could pretend she was just meeting a friend for tea, and not seeing a healer. But then, was there something wrong with seeing a healer?

"How was your day?" Yu-len asked.

Jaina let out a long breath. "Good, despite everything," she said. "Garrosh is being hunted down."

How do you feel about it?"

"Khadgar's with the champions and others. Archmage Zilya is one of our finest battle mages and has taken point. A part of me would like to be there, but," she paused. "But I don't think that would be wise."

"Why not?"

"I'm still not back to my usual levels of power," Jaina admitted. "I asked Kalec to make a portal here. I wouldn't be useful to the expedition so it's better Khadgar goes. He's an extremely competent mage. But aside from that, I think if I saw Garrosh, I might kill him on sight." She hated she still felt that way, hated he still had so much of an effect on her, hated he still cast such a shadow.

"Can you elaborate on what you're feeling right now?"

Jaina grimaced. "A part of me would like to be the one to kill him. It isn't right though. The Celestials said he should be imprisoned and we gave him to them for judgement. And," she trailed off.

"And?" the healer prompted gently.

"And if I kill him, he'll still be hurting me. Anduin wouldn't be happy with me and I don't know if Kalec would be either. And I think it would just undo everything I've tried to heal in the last few days. Kinndy and Tervosh would still be gone. Anduin would still have been harmed. I still want to _shatter_ Garrosh but I'd be worse off. Possibly forever." And he'd ultimately win.

"I think that is very wise. You are stepping back and considering what is truly best for you rather than striking out. How have you been feeling about other instances of anger?"

"I did what you suggested," she said. "When Anduin said he'd spoken with Wrathion, I was able to stop from lashing out. Wrathion is a black dragon," she explained. "He helped Garrosh escape and knocked Anduin out to do it. I was angry but I felt it and stepped back."

"That's good! How did you feel doing so?"

"Good," she said after a moment of reflection. "I avoided scaring Anduin again and I could see he was hurting because someone he thought was a friend had betrayed his trust. I could be there for him. I was angry with Garrosh and Wrathion but I didn't want to make Anduin feel worse. Being aware helped me handle things more clearly." It was just one instance and it was still such a simple thing, to be mindful. And yet she'd ended up having a good conversation with the prince, and hadn't run anyone off.

"That is good. I would like you to continue to be mindful of your anger. It will be an ongoing process, but I think you are already seeing how being aware has allowed you to be able to be closer to your loved ones."

She nodded. "It has. Kalec was at the end of his patience with my hatred as well. He and I are trying to become closer. I have not been tested much but so far I have been able to step back and look at things more logically."

The pandren woman smiled. "Good! How are you feeling otherwise?"

"Mostly still drained by everything. Physically. Emotionally. I had a rather awful nightmare after I went home yesterday," she admitted.

"Would you care to share it with me?"

Jaina nodded and outlined the dream for the healer. She shivered at the memory of the cold, empty voice.

"Can you tell me a little about what you're feeling right now?"

"Tired. Maybe a little frightened in the sort of 'can't shake the disturbing dream' sort of way. I couldn't do anything to fight back. Everyone I loved was dead and they were going to drag me into undeath with him. It was unpleasant to say the least."

"What do you think was the most disturbing part of the dream."

Jaina sipped her tea and thought that over for a moment. Becoming undead, becoming a thrall of Arthas' was frightening. Before she would have thought it was because she didn't wish to be a weapon against her loved ones, but in her dream they were already gone.

"The lack of control. I was screaming into the wind again and nothing I wanted mattered. I was ignored."

"Last time we discussed that your anger gave you a sense of control, and in your nightmare you lost control of your ability to move around and then you were being forced into a role you did not wish. So let us examine those feelings."

Jaina sat back in her seat and thought that over for a moment. There were certainly times where she felt no matter what she did, she could not change anything. It had been the appealing part of her anger, she'd discovered the day before. Did she often feel that way? Did she even want the role she had?

"Please, tell me what you are thinking, Lady."

Jaina spoke aloud as the thoughts came to her. "I've always had to be perfect, happy and biddable. I did it. I was exactly as I should be. And I liked it. I was good at it. I felt good." She closed her eyes and licked dry lips. "Mostly. It was also _frustrating_."

Jaina laughed mirthlessly. "Did you know the first time I really admitted how frustrated I felt it was right before the Horde attacked?" She closed her eyes. "I love Varian as a brother but he made it so hard. He undid so much." She felt a snarl twist her lips as she continued to speak. "Thrall, or Go'el or whatever he wants to call himself now, just abandoned me and any hope for peace to Garrosh's megalomaniacal insanity. Baine didn't have the spine to stand up to Garrosh even though he was the instrument of his father's murder!"

"You have had no one else to speak of these frustrations with?"

She deflated a little. "Anduin listened. He is such a good soul. He understood what I tried to say and it was such a relief to have someone hear me, but he isn't someone I could confide in. He's too young. Kalec understood somewhat." _But_ , she thought, my city was gone the next day. "Vereesa and I have spoken the most about our shared frustrations."

"She lost her husband, correct?"

Jaina nodded. "Yes." She couldn't quite hide the wince. She knew the two of them had fed off one another. But it had felt good to have a kindred spirit. She'd clung to the peaceable relations but then they'd abandoned her and she'd had her hatred and Vareesa.

"Could you speak to me about the thought you just had?"

"All I had was my anger and I could share that with Vareesa. She heard and understood and together we could act." Jaina rubbed her palm against her dress. "There was a little bit of freedom in being the one to impose my power and feelings. To scream into the wind and be heard. To force _my_ will for once. Just once." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and could not raise her eyes from the floor. "That makes me awful."

"Why is it awful to wish to be heard and acknowledged?"

"If I speak up, even a little, it is seen as an overreaction," she hissed. "It is hard to lead and to negotiate when you are seen as being 'unhinged' or 'hysterical'." Jaina clenched her hands. "I don't want Anduin to be afraid of me. I almost pushed Kalec away for good. These things are what happen when I am heard."

"It sounds like you are very frustrated with your peers, and perhaps others in your past, for not acknowledging you or your concerns," the healer sympathized. "You are an accomplished diplomat and mage. I can understand why it would be frustrating to feel dismissed."

"Yes." Jaina unclenched her hands and picked up her tea again, sipping it. She felt tension leave her shoulders and realized only then she'd been hunching defensively. 

The healer let her have a moment before asking her next question. "What have you done in the past when confronted with feelings like these?"

"Before Theramore I either shoved it down or I did what I thought was right anyway."

"And now?"

Jaina smirked ruefully. "Mostly I've been lashing out in anger and doing what I want anyway. Sometimes I've been more diplomatic." She sighed, "I should be more diplomatic."

"Should be or do you wish to be?"

"I wish to be," she said. "I still think I have the right of it in many cases but playing the game means that others will change how they react."

"You don't sound too excited by that prospect."

Jaina purses her lips in thought. "I suppose... I suppose I am expecting that if I stop being angry, then I will be disappointed again. That I might not state the needs of my people as strongly."

"Or your own needs."

Jaina paused then bowed her head. "Or my own needs."

"You've felt ignored before and have found that your anger gave you a louder voice. If you remove the anger then perhaps you might return to a place where you feel you are more easily ignored."

"It isn't just for me. But," she winced. "But it is for me, too."

"That thought displeases you?"

"I was raised having been taught that a leader is first and foremost a servant to her people."

"Does that mean then it is necessary for you to always put your own feelings and desires aside?"

"When there is trouble, most definitely," she said. "When things were working smoothly, I had more time for my own interests. It... It has been an issue with the other leaders of Dalaran. We have had multiple debates on this."

"I understand that internal debates are not for outsiders but I would like you to speak about your feelings on them rather than the content."

"I've been annoyed. I feel that I am one among many and the others need to share the load. Some are better than others. Rhonin ran things differently than I did in Theramore. There have been some points of friction. I am far more used to having leeway and they were far more used to someone who ran everything as nearly a sole executive."

"Were you not the sole leader in Theramore?"

"I was," she admitted. "But at the same time, I had subordinates I delegated to. They knew their roles and after the initial formation period we found where the bumps were and worked them out. The others haven't been resistant exactly, but they're not used to how I have handled leadership." Jaina sipped the last of her tea and poured another mug for herself, dropping two cubes of sugar into the drink to dissolve. "That is a work in progress and we'll get there eventually."

"May I ask, have you needed to be especially angry to resolve this situation?"

Jaina looked up. "No." She sat back in her seat, thinking. "No. And I was able to get things done and work with the the other members of the Council to adjust how they've been handling their duties. It isn't perfect and it isn't what it was in Theramore, but in terms of arguments, it's better than it was those first few months. I think one or two even prefer what I have asked of them."

"So you already have a recent example of a case where you did not need to rely on your anger to have your voice heard."

"I suppose I do," she mused. "Somehow I was able to find the balance."

"And when you were heard, nothing awful happened? No one was frightened or pushed away."

"No," she admitted. "No, I think I might even have gained some respect from Modera for pushing them to do more."

"When you feel as if you are not being heard and you feel as if being heard would caused harship, I wish for you to be mindful of the example you've shared with me. I imagine there might be others?"

Jaina thought for a moment then nodded. The healer smiled at her, warmly.

"Lady Jaina, I can tell you do a great deal to take care of others but it seems to me that you aren't always attentive to yourself. Your feelings of frustration are valid. So is the desire to have a life more of your own choosing. You have duties, yes," she said, holding up a hand to gently forestall Jaina's comment. "But you have a duty to yourself."

Jaina thought about that for a long moment. Theramore had been a safe haven for her to express herself. She'd liked to think of herself as an independent maverick and had perhaps looked down on Dalaran as having been too aloof or elitist but perhaps other feelings had been at play too. In Theramore she was in charge of smoothly working leadership team. She had the freedom to pursue her goals of peace and coexistence without disapproving oversight. She'd not been challenged or spoken down do for being a girl. If she'd chosen Kalec, she was certain she'd not have had to deal with the remarks and comments. Even after Arthas, she'd had relatively little to deal with in her own home.

"Theramore gave me the freedom to be heard. Somewhat. I could withstand Varian being deaf because at home," she paused as the word broke. "At home I could have things be the way I wished for them to be." She gazed to the side, not really seeing the wall of the yurt but instead the stone and warm wood of her parlor. The many books, the table Kinndy had claimed for her own experiments, the light glittering off the sea coming in through the window. She drew away from the memory, looking at the healer.

"After Theramore what I could see was the resistance. I was frustrated before. Maybe I was growing out of the peace my city could bring to me even then. In Dalaran I didn't think I could act. My home was gone and Dalaran was not mine. I wasn't attentive to what I wanted, so I found freedom in anger," Jaina summarized.

Yu-len opened her hand and gestured towards her. "Is that what you feel now? There is freedom in anger"

"No, but I think I found it. Or it found me and I let it grow wild because I didn't have the outlet I used to have.," Jaina said. "I won't always be able to have what I want."

"No one ever is. But we should be able to have what we want sometimes, and we all have a right to be heard and understood by others, even if they do not agree with us. I would ask you to keep that thought consciously in the forefront of your mind - don't minimize your feelings or emotions for the sake of duty. Approach situations where you feel ignored or minimized as you approached the situation with your council. You have allowed others to be heard, but allow yourself to be heard as well. Would you do that?"

Jaina nodded. This was diplomacy in its essence. "I need to be a champion for myself, too."

"Absolutely. I almost remind you to continue to be mindful of your anger as you have been."

"I will."

"I would like to see you in three days. If you wish to speak with me sooner, I will be available. Would you prefer to return here or would you prefer if I travelled to Dalaran?"

"Dalaran I think. I should be returning to my administrative duties soon and it would be more convenient for me if I have the option."

"Then I shall be there."

Jaina finished her tea and rose, bowing slightly to the other woman. "Thank you."

Yu-len has risen as well and returned the bow. "I am most happy to help."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lengthy trip to the Nexus, painful revelations, a conversation with a long-dead dragon, and some new opportunities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some aspects of this chapter and everything from here on probably won't jive with all of what is in the new revised canon in the Chronicle. I haven't read it yet so I am going off of spoilers from others. Afaik so far it's more or less compliant but the details might be slightly different. Other bits, like the status of the Dragonflights, come from the novel "Dawn of the Aspects". Dragon head canon everywhere! Also, Kul Tiras head canon and some worldbuilding. woo!
> 
> Thank you once again to everyone following this story. I hope you continue to read and enjoy.

Jaina found Kalec not far from where she'd last seen him, and was pleasantly surprised when she did. He had resumed his humanoid form and was surrounded by a small cluster of mages. Kalec was perched on a rock and the others sat or stood in a semi-circle. They were mostly apprentices by age, but there were a few Pandaren adults in the little crowd. She also saw a few mages from the Kirin Tor forces. The apprentices appeared to be enamored but the adults a bit more reserved. She was heartened to see the expressions on her mages' faces were thoughtful rather than polite neutrality or scowling.

Kalec seemed to be conducting a small demonstration. Two of the apprentices held the silvered image of a map in the air between them. It was a complex illusory structure showing a three-dimensional model of the Violet Rise. Kalec smiled at her as she approached but continued his impromptu lecture.

"A map like this is hard to maintain for long but can be invaluable. It's also good practice for other spells which use the same sort of aetheric pulse to take readings." He gestured, long fingers twisting precisely as he drew on the mnemonic for the spell he was casting. Power flowed and shifted, collecting between his palms as a spring-green sphere of light. He released the light and it flattened into a disk which sped off into the distance, hitting her arcane senses like a brief gentle pulse. On the silvery map of light, green figures appeared to represent the people his spell had touched. 

"This takes measure of anyone living in the area and gives their approximate location. As one might expect it is less useful when dealing with members of the Forsaken or the Knights of the Ebon Blade."

"But you could do the same thing for them too, couldn't you?" one of the apprentices, a young man with a mop of red hair, asked him.

"Do you think it could be done?" he asked, turning the question back on the young man.

"Uhm," the apprentice frowned. "Yes?" 

Kalec smiled and gestured for him to continue. "How would you do it then?"

The young man frowned in intent focus as he considered the question. Finally he began to gesture and the spell formed into a wobbly mass between his hands. It leaked energy horribly, the soft sparkles of nearly white blue light fading as they fell through the air. It wasn't as powerful as Kalec's spell but it showed the young man understood the changes in parameters he'd need to make to make the spell work for the undead.

The pulse sped off into the air but no new figures appeared on the surface of the silvery map the two other apprentices still maintained. Jaina was not surprised. The range was not great enough to reach the Sunreaver's camp across the isle where there were likely to be undead mages.

"Good!" Kalec praised. "Please, explain what you did."

"Uh, I needed to change the parameters on the secondary matrix. It's looking for undead rather than living beings. It's hard to hold something like that together."

Kalec grinned in encouragement. "It gets easier with practice and you did well. Have you cast a dual-threaded spell matrix before?"

"Only a few times," he admitted.

"Then that was especially well done to have composed an effective working from a new idea," Kalec said, rising from the rock he'd been perched on for the impromptu lesson. He smiled at Jaina and held out a hand. "And I have to be off. I'm sure your masters have plenty of tasks for you." 

There was a small chorus of disappointment, particularly from the young people in the crowd. Kalec appeared to be oblivious. Jaina smiled as she took his hand. He lifted her fingers to his lips, pressing a brief kiss to her knuckles.

"I see you found something to do while I was busy," she said as the crowd began to slowly disperse, the younger mages pretending not to linger or watch the always interesting dealings of older mages. The apprentices here were young enough not to have fought in the Nexus War and Kalec was probably more interesting than threatening as a result. "You seemed to be having fun."

"I found it enjoyable," he said. "Are you ready to return to Northrend?"

She nodded and slipped her arm into his. "Did you do this sort of thing often in Coldarra?"

"Teach? Sometimes. Far more often when I was involved in the direct care of younger dragons. We all took turns teaching everything." His eyes took on a far away look as he remembered. "At first I could only help the older dragons, but as I grew in understanding I could help older students too."

"Would that be something you'd be interested in doing in Dalaran?"

He was silent for several moments as he considered her question. Emotions flickered over his face so quickly she couldn't track what his train of thought might have been. He didn't appear to be offended by the suggestion at least.

"In theory," he said, gaze dropping down a little. "I'm not certain the masters would appreciate a blue dragon teaching their apprentices. I don't know I have anything for the more senior mages."

"You do. I know you do. Unless you think it takes a mere decade or so to cover _everything_ there is to know of magic," she teased, trying to lift his mood.

He laughed, but his eyes were still lowered. It lacked some of the heartfelt joy she so loved to hear.

"What are you thinking?" She nudged him as they walked. "You said you'd try to share with me more."

"I was just thinking back to some of the dragons I've taught. Some of the lessons I learned. Those who taught me." He stroked her arm pensively. "Many are gone now. Many of my students. Many of those who were students with me." He stopped in place and regarded her seriously. His eyes were old and pained. Jaina lifted her free hand and touched his chest to remind him she was there.

"May I show you something? In Coldarra?"

She nodded. "You wanted to go flying. Perhaps we can do both?"

"That would be fitting," he said, the statement coming out with such weight behind it Jaina felt somewhat absurd for thinking she could possibly help him and yet wishing she could take his pain.

He kissed her hand once more then opened a portal to Northrend.

* * *

The air was thin and chilly this high, but Jaina noticed the spectacular view far more than the cold. One of the benefits of being so heavily involved in frost magics was some resistance to the cold. The thin air was a different problem, but as long as they didn't remain at these heights for long, Jaina could enjoy flying with Kalec.

They had left the muggy heat of Thunder Isle and appeared in the thermal springs warmed meadows east of the Coldarra crater. He'd wanted to fly to collect his thoughts and Jaina was content with being a silent passenger as he wheeled in the air. He'd left the the ancient volcanic crater behind and was flying parallel to the coast. Jaina looked over Kalec's wing-shoulders and saw a pod of whales swimming in formation. The sea disappeared as Kalec returned to flying over land. He crossed over the sharp peaks of the caldera's rim and angled for the entrance to the Nexus proper. He landed but did not shift as he walked with purpose through the protective warding across the entryway. Jaina thought he might wish for her climb off his back once they were inside but as he made no move to stop, she settled into her seat on his broad black plates.

Every time she'd been here before, she'd felt the power and age of the place like an invisible weight. This time she felt those things less but she could not say if that was because the Nexus had changed or if the change had come from within her and she was now used to the feeling. The energies still pulsed as if in time with some great heartbeat. It was somewhat comforting to be surrounded by so much arcane energy. She was reminded of Dalaran in her youth when she'd first arrived in the city and everything was huge.

Unlike Dalaran then, or now, the Nexus was silent. She'd have expected to hear conversation and the sounds of everyday life, but there was nothing but the soft clack of Kalec's talons. In the distance, Jaina saw a few of the dragonkin guardians, but none approached as they passed through the branching hallways lined with ice and dark stone archways.

Kalecgos travelled a path he had never taken her down before; usually they'd stayed closer to the surface.The halls had been built large enough to allow their Aspect to walk easily but as they descended into the earth, Jaina began to feel slightly claustrophobic all the same. By her estimation they were now well below sea level and the pathway continued to spiral downwards. Jaina focused on observing the Nexus itself.

The architecture here was old but it didn't look like it was Titan built. It didn't look mage hewn either, though it likely was given the blue flight's skill set. There were delicate filigrees of stone, crystal or even gold in some areas. She noted delicate workings similar to ones she'd seen on the Exodar but she doubted the ones she saw here were Dranei in origin. As they continued she noticed that the floors they passed were not built using the same technique as the gentle downward spiral. The route Kalec travelled appeared to be far older, the stone worn smooth over many millennia of dragons walking down the ramp. Eventually the pathway levelled out into a broad hallway. The crystals set into the walls were dim until Kalec approached, then they gradually brightened, filling the hall with soft moon-like light. Geometric patterns illuminated in the stone between the archways and Jaina was reminded of the great cathedral in Stormwind.

"I haven't been down here before," Jaina said, breaking the silence. "It's old."

"Very," Kalec said. "We expanded over the years, moving earth and even twisting dimensions to gain more room. Eventually we began building closer to the surface. But down here was the original heart of the Nexus and where Malygos made his lair," he stated as they came around a corner where the walkway turned into a sudden overlook.

The cavern was enormous, possibly even dwarfing the titanic structure that rose into the air above the surface entrance. Arcane energies twisted and flowed in beautiful whirls and streams, passing through and around crystals set into flying buttress-like formations of stone. The energy flowed from all points around the cavern's circumference, emerging from holes bored into the stone walls and surrounded by runic enchantments. The streams of light flowed to a raised central platform where one of the largest crystals she'd ever seen channeled and focused the energy upwards and into another crystal suspened from the ceiling. There the energy dispersed along the walls before disappearing back into the stone. 

There were channels where the energy flowed like rivers of light, forming their own patterns on the walls of the cavern, flowing up towards the ceiling or racing sideways in defiance of gravity. The energy also flowed through the air using crystal-tipped pillars as guides. Some of these rivers of arcane light were larger than others and while they all eventually exited the top of the vast cavern in orderly, regular channels, they entered from more chaotically distributed origins lower on the walls. Jaina gasped as she realized what she was seeing.

"They ley lines. The ones Malygos moved." She was seeing the actual leyline energy being ordered and regulated before being sent back out into the world again. Once it had been focused and siphoned into the twisting nether, but that process had been dismantled under the watch of the red dragonflight. The crystal at the center of the chamber was the source of the strange pulse against her arcane senses, the lonely heartbeat of the Nexus.

Kalec approached one of the pylons on the broad ledge that ran the circumference of the cavern. He touched it with a delicate paw. "This is one of the originals. The Nexus was so named because many ley lines converged here already and from here we could track the magic of Azeroth without disturbing or being disturbed. For good or ill, Malygos moved more of the ley lines through this place and so we built more structures to support them." He gestured to another pillar, this one made of a more pale stone with the telltale markings of where a mage had used arcane methods to cut the stone from the quarry. By contrast the older pillar had a more organic feel, as if the stone had grown in the shape it held and had always been that way.

"They look like they were made with two different methods. Was the technique lost?"

"We didn't have access to the original architects anymore." He resumed his journey, crossing to a broad walkway which seemed to have far too few supports to suspend it over the cavern floor. The walkway extended towards the central platform which was a complex of floating disks and internal ramps crowned by the massive crystal. Other delicate-looking walkways extended from the central hub like the spokes of a wheel. The walls of the cavern had more portals with ledges but no walkway. She imagined dragons would simply fly to these entrances.

"Who? The Titans? The Keepers?" she asked, wondering who'd helped the dragons build this ancient place.

"No," he said. "The heart of our home was a masterwork between two brothers embarking on what they believed would be one of the first of many in their immortal lifetimes."

"Malygos and Deathwing."

"He was Neltharion then and Malygos's closest friend," Kalec said. "The Spell-Weaver and his newly formed blue flight moved magic and the flows of the ley lines, directing where the stones and crystals needed to be placed. The Earth-Warder and his flight worked the stone and communed with the heart of the volcano. They could _sing_ the formations from the earth. Or so the stories say." Kalec paused to place a great paw on a broken plinth. "The grounding of Earth, the flowing of Aetheric powers. It was harmonious."

"And he betrayed his friend."

"His realm was the earth and soil but also the deep places. The Charge of the Black flight included direction to guard the deepest places of the world as well as within themselves. The earth was said to be the foundation of strength and protection for Azeroth. The most humble charge and yet the one which was supposed to endure and strengthen the others."

"And the one which was closest in proximity to the Old Gods," Jaina said, feeling for the first time, some if not sympathy for the black dragons, at least pity. "And by breaking them first they might have been able to break you all."

"Yes," Kalec agreed after a long pause. "Though he was betrayed by one he called brother, this was his home. The flight moved in to be near our Aspect, to regroup and to continue to keep the Charge."

He turned from the broken pillar and walked the edge of the disk. Above them the huge floating crystal was supported by another disk. Jaina could no longer see it directly, but her teeth buzzed as they walked close to it. Kalec gave her a small word of warning then launched into the air. Jaina hooked her fingers into the grooves on the front of his back plates and held on as he descended to the cavern floor.

The ground, like the surfaces elsewhere, was polished to a glass-like shine where it was stone. The open floor had been broken up into different functional areas by formations of stone and crystal. Trees of crystal stood in groves, smaller and more lively than the broken war-torn trees of the Crystalsong forest. unlike those, these had been intentional creations and their glowing crystal leaves made soft chimes as they were stirred by the gust from Kalec's wings.

Some areas were built like small amphitheaters while others might have been nooks for reading and still others might have been for commerce. Jaina wasn't certain why dragons would have a market but there were the remains of stone stalls, now empty of everything save the walls. There were other caverns radiating out from this central area. Most were dark, their crystalline lighting at a low level. Kalec appeared to be approaching one such place on the northern side.

There was a stream in this part of the cavern. The water looked clear and curling steam rose from the surface before quickly dissipating. Spongy lichen covered low rolling hills of what Jaina realized was a massive park. Large crystals suspended from the hovering disks and arching walkways gave illumination as did more of the beautiful trees with glowing leaves. Here too there were sectioned off areas. Usually there was one dragon-sized wall and a stone suitable for perching or reclining at the front with open space before it. Glowing bushes or crystalline lattices formed partitions between each area.

"Classrooms," Jaina said, a note of wonder in her voice.

"Where our children learned their first spells," Kalec confirmed. "I taught and was taught in every one of these sections," he said, continuing to walk without pause. 

A cavern loomed before them. Carved out of the side of the great central cavern, it was wide enough at the opening that two dragons of Kalec's size could sleep snout to rump and still have some room. Inside it was even larger with many levels carved out of the stone around a small central pool. It was lit with gentle light from tall crystalline trees and countless gemstones near the the ceiling. They were not embedded as she had expected and instead floated in a dome. Jaina immediately began to recognize patterns and saw they were the constellations, the glowing gemstones lovingly recreating the stars as they would be seen from the surface. 

Jaina felt a sudden inexplicable sense of dread and foreboding though the cavern itself was serene. Too serene. The whole of the Nexus had appeared to be merely asleep but this room... It shouldn't have been empty.

"Why are we here?" she asked.

Kalec stopped and looked over his shoulder, his long neck twisting to observe her. He then crouched and extended a wing to assist her onto the cavern's floor. Jaina slipped off his back and he transformed as soon as she was down. His head was bowed, the locks of his hair falling around his face. His shoulders shook once. The dread that had held her heart shattered and she crossed the few steps to embrace him. Kalec buried his face against her neck and cried. 

Jaina stroked his back, trying to soothe him. She didn't know the song he'd sung for her when she'd cried after Theramore, so she hummed the lullaby her mother had sung to her when she'd been very young and the storms had frightened her. They sank to the floor of the cavern and Jaina began to run her fingers through his hair as well as she hummed softly.

Eventually his tears were spent. Kalec nudged her with his nose then sat back. He turned his head to the recreation of the stars above and stretched out a hand. Silver-blue light rose and touched the spellwork, briefly illuminating the arcane structure as he fed it more power. He watched the gemstone stars for a moment before he took a deep breath and sighed. They rose to their feet and Jaina took his hand once more. She suspected she knew what this place was, but she waited silently for him to speak.

"This was a nursery," he said, his voice showing the ragged weariness of one who has lived a long time and who has lost nearly everything. Jaina pressed against his side and squeezed his hands, reminding him he wasn't entirely alone as she wasn't. They'd not lost everything. Not yet.

"This was where we kept our eggs. Consorts would bring them here to be watched over and kept safe. When I was older some would be taken to Winterspring, Halecgosa and her team of minders watched over them all, but I was hatched here." He began to walk a slow circuit around the room. The floor was covered in more of the spongy lichen, but there were sections covered in large piles of smooth dark stone.

Jaina wondered why the seemingly haphazard piles of stone had been left on the cavern floor. Some appeared to have been scattered more fully but many were still shaped roughly like bowls. Kalec crouched by one of the piles closest to the path. He waved a hand and the etched runes on the smooth surfaces flared briefly to life. Jaina felt the press of protective warding magic as the runes lit then faded. Jaina realized their purpose suddenly and why the stones were in a dragon nursery. 

Each pile of rocks was a nest. 

Abandoned nests. 

Dozens of them. 

Jaina could see what might have been the iridescent fragment of a shell or possibly someone's scales among the piles of smooth stones etched with protective runes. The power in the runes had run out some time ago. No one was here.

"Kalec," she said then paused, not sure what to say.

"We kept the eggs close to the teaching areas so they could hear the lessons and have some shell-memory of them. The minders practiced around them so they would learn the feel of magic in the egg. I still know what Haleh's transfigurations feel like. What my sire's magic felt like. He would read aloud and work on research around us. And they would sing the nesting songs." His voice cracked. He swallowed and it took him a moment to be able to speak again.

"My mother would come and sing over me and my clutch brothers and sisters. She'd tell us stories of distant lands and flirt with my sire before she was off again. She wasn't one for much domesticity. I think it's one reason why she chose my father," he reflected with a sad but genuine smile. "I can remember the sound of Kyrigosa's voice as she took on some of the junior minding duties. With our Aspect we could develop quickly and understand some of what was going on around us even if he wasn't entirely with us at the time. We grew fast after hatching because he lived even if he was wounded."

"It sounds very peaceful. Maybe with some time they might come back. This seems like a very nice place for a nest," she said, trying to be encouraging.

Kalec winced and shook his head. "No," he said, the word carrying agony. "No and never again." He held her hand tightly. "We're barren. Since we gave up our Mantles to defeat Deathwing. Everyone. All the flights. Gone with the power of our Aspects."

"Everyone?" Jaina questioned, not because she didn't believe him, but because it was so wholly unbelievable as a concept. "Even-"

"Even Alexstrasza," he said.

Jaina's hands flew to cover her mouth and the startled gasp. "Oh," she said, her voice breathy as she fully comprehended several things which had puzzled her in the last year. "Oh, Kalec."

No wonder his hope had faded. No wonder the Aspects had needed Tyr's artifact to restore some of their faith in themselves. All the dragons faced extinction. Right at what should have been a moment of triumph, they found a slow end.

"Oh, Kalec I am so sorry." She embraced him, feeling somewhat tearful herself. As much as dragons had been the cause of problems on Azeroth, they'd also been saviors. They'd kept the world in balance for thousands of years before the corruption and betrayal of the black flight. The dragons were people though they looked little like humans or trolls. It was a horriffic revelation and her beloved was hurting.

"We are ended, Jaina," he whispered. "Azeroth survived the Hour of Twilight but we did not."

She held him more tightly. She'd known there was a deep pain he'd been dealing with. She'd recognized it in him. They'd helped one another, but they'd also hidden from one another in their greatest sorrows. No wonder even _Alexstrasza_ had become despondent. Her realm had been life and death, but only death remained for her people.

"We are dispersed and dying, Jaina," Kalec said, his voice ragged but without tears. "Before I am gone from this world I have decided I will do what I may to help the younger mages. I need to make amends for my flight. I have long considered what form of repentance I might do while I yet live." He nuzzled the side of her head, a comfort seeking gesture. Jaina turned her head and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.

"I would be a teacher if you would have me. I-" he had to stop and collect himself. "I have a lifetime of learning and no one to whom I can pass on my knowledge. There are _generations_ of records here and no one to learn from them. I would pass on what I know before I'm gone from the world too. Before blue dragons are nothing but a legend."

Jaina ran her hands over his back and through his hair. "Thank you for sharing this with me." She kissed his brow. "I'll see it happen. I can't promise much but I can do this for you." 

"Thank you," he said.

She leaned back and caressed his cheek. "You and I shall leave classes and classes of students behind when we're gone, and Azeroth will be better for it." She stroked her fingers through his hair and he leaned into the touch.

Kalec had been happy with the impromptu class and she'd seen the joy in his eyes when he'd shown Kinndy... Kalec and the gnome girl had become friends in a short time. She was certain Kinndy would have loved to learn magic from someone with thousands of years of practice, just like all the other apprentices she'd seen earlier. She'd have wanted the Kirin Tor to have that opportunity. Personal feelings aside, to lose so much knowledge would be terrible. The blues had kept magic well before they'd largely withdrawn from the world, before Malygos had become maddened. Jaina would see Kalec happy and fulfilled once more and lifting some of his burden might help her as well. 

"Do you want to go back to the surface? We could continue flying."

"I should show you the library," he said, though he didn't sound terribly enthused.

"Do you _want_ to?" she asked. 

"I do," he told her, "Though it's hard."

"We can come back."

He shook his head. "No. I want to show you something a bit happier. I need to be reminded of happier times," he said, rising to his feet and drawing her up with him. He touched the side of her face and drew her into a gentle kiss.

"We'll both be okay," she told him.

Kalec smiled, small but genuine and stepped away to give himself room to transform once more. He dipped a shoulder for her. When she was once again perched on his back and secure enough for a takeoff, Kalec gathered his feet under him and sprang into the air like a cat. He flew upwards towards the cavern's ceiling, angling for a large portal carved into the wall. He landed and continued down a hall that gently sloped upwards.

"We lost some records during the war," he said as he walked at a brisk trot. "The chaotic rifts did a lot of damage we had to repair. The Kin are continuing to repair some areas. Much of it is as it once was, but we won't get some of those records back."

Kalec crossed another cavern by flying from one entrance to another. The bottom of the chasm was filled with glowing blue light of origins unknown to Jaina. She only had a brief moment to speculate on the strange features of the Nexus before they were once again in the hallways.

"No copies I take it?"

"Some of the books and scrolls might have had copies but some of the other records cannot be copied." He sighed. "We've lost the technique used to make them. I've seen similar things among the Draenei, but that won't restore what was lost." 

He turned down another hallway which curved sharply and ended in a domed platform suspended over an open cavern. This cavern was longer than it was tall and Jaina felt the strange stretching, scratchy feeling of a dimensional spell. Kalec cast a spell and the shimmering dome of energy disappeared between two of the delicate stone supports. He had to tuck his wings tightly and crouch to fit through the door without knocking Jaina off. On the other side he took off from the ledge and soared over row after orderly row of dragon-sized shelves. Most appeared to contain books and scrolls at a humanoid scale, but there were larger structures which contained dragon-sized scrolls and tomes as well. Though Jaina wished to browse the collection, Kalec bypassed them all and continued to head to the rear of the library.

Two tall bipedal dragonkin lounged before a set of large crystal and stone doors, tall enough even they would be able to walk through easily. They lifted their heads in unison, their noses sniffing the air as Kalec approached. Recognizing the former Aspect the two stood aside and bowed their heads in respect as Kalec landed in the broad open area before their post.

The one on the right spoke in draconic, "Lord Kalecgos." Jaina's mastery of the language of the dragons was fairly rudimentary but she recognized Kalec's name and title.

"Gentledrakes," he replied in kind. "We have business in the library," he said, switching to common.

The two eyed Jaina critically but opened the doors for the leader of the blue flight anyway, closing them once Kalec had walked through. Here, the architecture resembled what Jaina now knew were the newer areas of the Nexus, but the contents looked more like what the archeologists had found in Ulduar.

"Titan disks?"

"Something like them in some cases, yes," he said, nodding as he walked towards the rear of the cavern. "The living chronicles are back here. The ones we still have at any rate," he said, melancholy once again entering into his voice. He paused and his expression was more cheerful as he looked over his shoulder at her. "I'm lucky. My sire was old enough to have a chronicle and it has survived the years." 

He crossed to the rearmost wall. It was carved with runes and delicate designs as she'd come to expect from the blue flight, but there were bolder workings as well as far more subtle magics. Kalec placed one forepaw at the center of the sigil work and released the locking mechanism. The solid wall split apart, revealing hidden seams in the stonework. Beyond the door was a massive cylindrical vault. Freestanding shelves that curved as well as the perimeter walls of the vault were filled with small niches. The center of the room had a number of tall tabled but nothing else and there were aisles at the cardinal directions. Kalec dropped his shoulder and again so she could slip back to the floor. He joined her in his humanoid form as soon as she'd touched the ground. Taking her hand, he led her to the niches on the far side from the entrance. Inside the niche was an icosaherdron constructed of silvered metal with golden accents and glowing blue circles at regular intervals.

"I was told Malygos discovered the making of these when he tried to recreate things the Titans had made," he said, lifting the metal object. It was large enough he had to use both hands to carry it and was the approximate size of a dragon's egg. Jaina followed as he took the device to the center of the room and set it on one of the tall, stone tables. 

"Like Tyr's artifact?" Jaina asked.

"Not quite. These are more like some of the artificial constructs found in ruins up in Ulduar. These don't push memories into your head."

Setting the device on the nearest table, he passed a hand over the front face and the lights grew brighter. Golden light spread from the edges and formed a glowing cage around the device which lifted into the air and began to spin slowly. Kalec smiled and gently ushered her a few steps back. He took her hand and wore an expression of mixed anticipation and sorrow. The device glowed more brightly then an image appeared in the air a few feet in front of the spinning chronicle.

The image was somewhat transparent and had faintly golden tinting but approximated color enough Jaina could see it showed a mature, perhaps even elderly, blue dragon. His scales had been dark blue like Kalec's were, but on his face and paws they'd silvered with age. He had a crest of many massive horns, one of which had been sheared off and replaced with silver. They were adorned with rings and jewels that looked practical rather than lavish. He wore many silver hoops and studs in his long ears. He'd once had two chin spikes, but one of these too had a silver replacement. A long, jagged scar traced over the side of his face and across one eye, though the eye itself appeared to have been spared. Like Malygos he sported a silvered beard into which he'd woven braids and still more silver bands and amethyst jewels. His wings had been etched with delicate sigils which glowed in the image. 

Unlike Malygos, this dragon's expression and body language appeared to be rather welcoming and perhaps a little professorial. The dragon's eyes were a striking golden color and appeared to be laughing at some joke. Jaina was immediately reminded of Antonidas. Kalec instructed the image to use the common tongue and though the artifact appeared to be quite old, it spoke in a language Jaina knew without seeming to have difficulty.

"Greetings. This is the life-record of Oricalgos," the dragon in image said. "I have made these impressions to record my work and experiences for future generations. Use them to keep magic well. May they bring you knowledge and joy."

"Who was he?" Jaina asked. "One of your teachers?"

"One of my very first teachers," Kalec said. "He was one the flight's earliest and most respected scholars. He was quite ancient when he finished recording this. I could never get him to admit just how old he was, but I suspect he was among the very first dragons blessed by the Titans after they created the Aspects or possibly from the first generation to be born after."

"Well? Speak up! You woke me for something, yes?" The image asked startling Jaina.

"It has awareness?"

"Some limited awareness based on the personality of the dragon who made it. It's why we call these life-records. The more time the creator spent with one of these the more of the dragon's personality it picked up. Opinion was divided on if they were just very good simulations, if the dragon who made the record imparted some of their spirit onto the device, or if the device could actually call on the spirit of its maker after they were deceased."

"You don't know?"

"Not for certain. These are similar in effect to the Titan artifacts but not the same. According to what I was told, these artifacts were made with all five flights working together." He drew in a breath and let it out with a sigh. "We could do _so much_ when we were united."

Jaina leaned up and kissed his shoulder, offering wordless support and love. Kalec smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

"It has some interactivity. They used to use them to help teach but by the time I came around access was restricted. As the years wore on, we started to use these less and less because we were afraid they would break. And, I think, because they came from a time when we weren't isolationist. They were built to share knowledge, but we hoarded them."

"Hello? If you're not going to engage with me you might as well put me back on the shelf," the dragon image said. "Step into the pickup."

Kalec let go of Jaina's hand and stepped forward into a faintly glowing area before the image. He bowed deeply. "Sire."

The image froze then seemed to readjust."Kalecgos!" the older dragon greeted. "Kalec my boy it has been..." the image paused, "One year and seven months since you last accessed this program. Did you find a solution?."

Kalec shook his head. "No, sir."

The image of Oricalgos sat on his haunches, a deep frown drawing his brows together. "That is troubling."

"Yes. We are still looking for a way to end our great sorrow, but that is not why I am here. I wanted to show the more teaching related aspects of your record to a friend of mine."

The recording shrugged both sets of shoulders. "Very well. I ask that you give this recording an update when you are able."

"Yes, sir," Kalec said, seeming relieved. Kalec gestured to Jaina who stepped beside him.

"Greetings. This is the life-record of Oricalgos. I have made these impressions to record my work and experiences for future generations. Use them to keep magic well. May they bring you knowledge and joy." He leaned forward a little then looked at Kalec. "Her humanoid form is pretty enough and my sensor array says her arcane aura is odd but powerful. Have you finally decided to settle down?"

Kalec rolled his eyes. "This is Lady Jaina. Please recite Oricalgos's second treatise on leyline manipulation theory."

"Very well," the image said then began to do just that in a crisp professional recitation. The text of the paper replaced the image of the elderly dragon as the audio read the work aloud. Kalec let it run for a moment or two before calling for the index of information and showing some of what he seemed to consider the more basic functions of the life-recording. The voice lost much of its personality for some portions, reminding Jaina that this was an incredibly elaborate simulation and not actually Kalec's father. It was lifelike enough Jaina wasn't certain if part of the dragon's spirit had remained after all. No wonder opinion was divided as Kalec said.

"Thank you for your wisdom," Kalec said, bowing formally. The device abruptly stopped reciting a set of theorems Oricalgos had crafted. The image of the formulae was replaced by the dragon. The image bowed back.

"Kalec," the image said, seeming to startle him. "I don't know all of what might be going on, but you're stronger than you realize, son. You've made me proud." The image of Oricalgos smiled and faded, the icosahedron returning to the table surface and powering down.

Kalec was left staring at the space where the image had been, apparently stunned. Jaina wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"He's right to be proud you know. I don't think it matters if this is a simulation, part of his spirit or a conduit to the dead. I think he was proud then and would be now if he knew all you'd done, beloved."

Kalec made a pensive sound and returned her embrace. At length he released her and replaced the recording in its niche. Jaina took his hand.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

He nodded. "Yes but not here. Too many memories."

They left the way they'd come, Kalec having a quick word with the vault guardians and Jaina withstanding their curious looks. Then he left the Nexus at a trot, speaking only to warn her he was going to take off once they were outside. He rose into the sky and landed on one of the larger floating disks around the perimeter. He shifted back into his humanoid form and they sat together near the edge.

"I've been thinking about what you said. About how we've both handled things better when we've tried to share our troubles. This is my trouble, Jaina."

"This isn't widely known outside of the dragonflights, is it?"

"No. We've tried to reverse it but nothing we've found in the past few years has worked. Alexstrasza has been making inquiries. I've used all I know and allowed her to have access to the vault you just saw."

"Would I be able to help somehow? The Kirin Tor?"

"You're helping by giving me a place to belong. I don't know what the future holds for me or any of us, but this is what I need right now. I haven't given up on it, I haven't given up on us, but I've hit a wall."

She pressed a kiss to his brow and stroked her fingers through his hair. "Sometimes it helps to walk away from a problem and come back with a new perspective."

"Yes," he agreed.

"So that was an," she paused, searching for a word, "impression of your father. Does your mother have one?"

"No," he shook his head. "I have images of her but nothing like what you saw."

"He reminded me of Antonidas. He was an accomplished mage?"

"Very." He gave her a soft smile. "I'm fairly certain I learned my love of esoteric magic from him."

"How long has he been gone?"

"Two thousand years give or take. He was one of the very oldest. He didn't take mother's death well." Kalec sighed. "I have mourned him but I still miss him."

"Tell me about him?"

"My father was one of Malygos's lieutenants and one of his closest friends within the flight. You saw his missing horns? Lost in the initial fighting with Deathwing. He settled down to full time scholarship after that. He had consorts and nests but never a Prime Consort until my mother." Kalec smiled a bit. "He said he'd had enough of outliving his consorts so he found one to outlive him. She didn't but it wasn't by much."

"Did you tell him you were Aspect?"

Kalec smiled, a far off look in his eyes. "I did. I even made a moment so I could update the record when I still bore the Mantle." He drew her into his lap and rested his chin on her shoulder. "He was saddened by the death of Malygos but he was very proud of me. Or he would have been. His recording is remarkably lifelike. At least around his children."

"What happened to your mother?"

"Irigosa was a Champion of the flight. She was often out patrolling or recovering artifacts deemed too dangerous to be left where anyone could stumble onto them. On occasion she even worked with the early Guardians to slay demons. She came back with stories of the world outside the Nexus and she had a humanoid form for every race on Azeroth. Like Korialstrasz she walked among the younger races pretending to be one of them."

"Where you got some of your interest in we of the younger races?"

"Probably," he chuckled. "She was a master investigator and probably would have been a good researcher except she liked being out in the world. She was also very good at offensive spellcasting. She was killed by black dragons attempting to acquire the same artifact she was trying to secure. My older sister, Selegosa, was training for the same profession and died in the explosion too, along with the black dragons. The artifact was a melted hunk of metal when it was recovered. Mother's partner was Tarecgosa's sire. He lost a forelimb and his eyesight in the same incident."

"I'm sorry."

"I got to have time with her. With both of them. They taught me much and I am lucky to have had so many years with them. Mother's and Sele's deaths were an unpleasant surprise. Father was ailing already. Losing she who was first in love left him looking forward to the afterlife. He lived long enough to settle his affairs, finish teaching his final students and complete his last papers. His life-recording was one of the earliest started and one of the last completed." He nuzzled the side of her head.

"Well there's something else we have in common. Both of my parents are gone as well."

"Were you close?" he asked.

Jaina sighed. "Once. Father and I disagreed rather strongly about the orcs at the end of his life."

"Your mother?" Kalec asked, tactfully changing the topic from Jaina's opinion of orcs.

"She died when I was fourteen.. She was so happy for me when I showed an aptitude for magic. She arranged my first tutors and for me to go to Dalaran though she and father fought about it."

"They fought?"

Jaina let out a long breath. "Father didn't want me to go to Dalaran. He wanted me to stay in Kul Tiras. I think his plan was for me to marry one of the sons of some lord there." Jaina frowned as she thought back to her childhood. Hearing her parents argue about her had been distressing. Her desire to become a mage had been a sore spot between her and her father for many years. Right up until she'd caught the eye of the Prince of nearby Lorderon.

"He was so damned pleased with himself when Arthas started courting me," she realized speaking the thought aloud.

"With himself?"

"He was smug when I next saw him. The way he spoke he made it seem as if sending me to Dalaran had been his idea all along and there was even the implication he'd intended for Arthas to court me," she shook her head. "I was just glad to be on good terms with him again at the time." She sighed, feeling sad more than angry. "When I was younger I didn't notice how he seemed to assume almost a sort of ownership of any successes my brother Derek and I had. I think when I was younger, I liked it."

"It wasn't all about ego and it wasn't all tension. When I was a child, he was a loving and engaged father. He got into the ocean and swam with us. He taught me to ride and played games with us. He was often in meetings or at sea, but when he was home he was involved. Things became more complicated as I grew older. He didn't agree with my choices and wanted me to do other things than I did."

"Or you were more aware of the complications. When I was young all I knew was that my mother would fly away for weeks at a time and come back with stories of fantastical lands and people. I didn't realize until I was much older that she'd found a way to indulge her wanderlust and go abroad without disrupting the rest of the flight. I didn't understand how deadly her work could be, or that my father clung to us more closely when she was out because he understood one day she might not return home. When I was older I understood."

"I suppose we both grew up then," she mused. "Even when I was older I wanted both of my parents to approve of my choices and be proud of me. Being split over the issue of the orcs was... difficult." She'd thought peace was the answer at the time. Now she wasn't certain what she believed. A week before she'd have likely been crying for war but at the moment all she felt was confused about her own desires on that front.

"It's not unusual to want to make our parents proud," he mused. His fingers had gone back to her hair and were carefully preening through her pale locks. The gentle touch eased the tension which had crept back into her shoulders. "I tried following my mother's path for a short time. I enjoyed seeing the world, but I didn't enjoy anything else about it. I learned I was more interested in theory and research like my father."

"Was she disappointed?"

"Not with me, though I thought she might be. I take it your family wasn't thrilled with your choice?"

"Father was not exactly disappointed I did so well in Dalaran, but he wasn't exactly happy. After I had been there and had seen how others lived and I saw all these opportunities I hadn't known existed. We had debates on many topics. They weren't bad, it actually taught me a lot about debating, but it was... uncomfortable to have a different opinion than my father did. Now part of me wonders if that's why he didn't want me to go in the first place."

"And maybe why your mother wanted you to go. You needed room to grow into the powerful mage and world leader you are. Even if you chose to return home and marry some lord's son, you'd have had valuable experience as a sorceress but also diplomatic awareness," he said, wry amusement coloring his voice.

"While I imagine it would be a good thing elsewhere, Kul Tiras is a bit more restrictive."

"Oh?"

"They have very certain ideas about what women should or should not do. That I ruled Theramore was met alternately with bafflement and barely concealed scandal as much as they were somewhat proud a daughter of Kul Tiras controlled such an important Alliance outpost. You'll note I am not the current Lord Admiral of Kul Tiras."

"That has always been a curious quirk of some cultures I have never understood," Kalec said, his nimble fingers twisting her hair into small braids. "You will forgive me if I continue to be quite draconic in this area. I don't think I'd keep my head on my shoulders if I told Ysera she wasn't as capable as a male dragon. Alexstrasza would laugh herself silly and pat me on the head. Nozdormu leads the bronze but Soridormi runs them."

"Magna Aegwynn and I spoke of it sometimes. Usually over drinks late at night. She had to fight to become Guardian as I had to fight to become Antonidas's apprentice."

"I think you'd have been rather bored without people to lead and magic to study," Kalec observed. "It'd have been a waste of your talents."

"Probably. My cousin is Lord Admiral there now," she said, feeling a surge of annoyance. She was truly happy elsewhere, but it was frustrating to be so overlooked. "Theramore was a lot of what I loved about Kul Tiras but without the parts I didn't like," she told him. "Dalaran has it's own culture and baggage, including some of the things I didn't like when I was there before."

"Now you have the power to change some of those things."

She nodded. "Yes, to an extent. Some things I can do quickly. Some things take more time." She turned in his lap to face him. "I've been able to get the council to adjust on some things. Khadgar likes you. I like you. Modera and the others have reservations but they don't dislike you. I think if I can get them to be more positive, the change will ripple down to the rest of the magi in the city." She kissed him quickly then sat back with a smirk. "And based on what I saw today, the apprentices will find you fascinating more than frightening. If I get you teaching, we can attack the problem from both sides."

"The younger mages did seem far more friendly. It was rather nice actually. Same with the Pandaren mages from the Shado-pan."

Jaina nodded to herself, trying to think of way she might enact her plan. "First thing though, I want to have you included with the usual civic tasks we give to the more powerful archmages. I think if we also give you the title of archmage it puts you into the structure of the city in a way they're used to." She smiled apologetically. "I know it's a step down from Aspect of Magic."

He kissed the end of her nose. "My flight is dispersed and the Aspects have lost their Titan-granted powers. Sometimes I don't even feel as if I am worthy of the title of Lord everyone seems to give me. Archmage is just fine."

"No," she said, surprised by the conviction of her own voice. "No," she repeated. "You are absolutely worthy of that title. You have served your people well. You have sacrificed for them and have always had their best interests in mind. You've said it yourself, you felt constrained by Malygos' isolationist policy. He isn't around to keep them here any longer."

She looked down at her hands as she ordered her thoughts further. "And I know first hand how negative thoughts can become so much greater in an echo chamber. I know Vereesa and I fed on one another." She looked up at him. "Spreading out might help with figuring out how the dragons can have nests again. It's possible that being abroad, they come to view the problem from a different perspective, one they hadn't ever thought of because all they've known has been what they learned here."

"Pride has always been a problem for dragons," he said, gently tucking one of the little braids he'd woven behind her ear. "I think it will be good for them to learn what I have; that we don't know everything and there are still many things to learn if we only look." He cupped her cheek with one hand and studied her face. "Or that those among the younger races can be just as wise or insightful as any dragon." 

She felt her cheeks heat slightly as she smiled back. "Come on," she said, rising to her feet and offering him a hand. "Let's go back to Dalaran. We have some work to do. Might I trouble you for a ride back? We never got to really finish flying."

He took her hand as he rose and kissed it. "As my lady wishes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "life chronicle" is totally a dragon holocron. I have no regrets. 
> 
> Halfway through writing this chapter I got a plot bunny to write a related side story featuring Alexstrasza and mostly Horde chars so that's a thing :D Taurenstrasza.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing is an ongoing process and doesn't always happen as swiftly as desired. Jaina and Vereesa speak about the trial and not everyone is happy with a blue dragon living in the city. Jaina's tempter gets tested. Vereesa's twins ask Kalec a lot of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for the Kudos! :D

They took a portal to cross half the continent then flew the rest of the way. Kalec seemed to be in better spirits than earlier. Jaina also felt better between the meeting with the healer and being trusted with his pain. She wasn't certain how to help, but she could be a safe refuge for him as he had been for her.

When they returned to Dalaran, Jaina made the climb to her office in the Violet Citadel. There was an absurd amount of paperwork to be done even if Modera was handling the urgent matters. Kalec had found a comfortable chair in the shared seating area outside the council member's private offices and read. Jaina settled behind her desk and stared at the first missive.

Waste management.

The topic struck her as funny and she found herself laughing quietly, her face in her hands as she leaned on her desk. She was still laughing when a polite knock on her door drew her attention.

"Come in," she called, getting herself under control. She smiled as Vereesa Windrunner, Ranger-General of the Silver Enclave entered.

The silver-haired elf had been Rhonin's wife and had become Jaina's most staunch ally in Dalaran. Out of everyone in the city, Theramore had affected them the most. Jaina hadn't seen Vereesa since the trial, she realized.

"Jaina," Varessa greeted. She'd clasped her hands in front of her body, a defensive gesture, yet she'd taken several steps into the office after closing the door which Jaina interpreted as reaching out. "Why aren't you resting at home? Modera said you looked horrible." Vereesa winced. "You know what I meant."

"I am feeling a bit better," Jaina said. "I thought I might do some paperwork before I retire for the evening. I wanted to add Kalec to the senior maintenance rotations." Jaina set aside the papers. "How are you? How are the boys?"

Vereesa sat on the other side of the desk. "What happened at the trial? Jaina, I haven't been able to get a straight answer out of anyone. What happened after I left?"

Jaina drew in a long breath then let it out slowly. "I am so glad you were not there, Vereesa." She then recounted what had happened at the end of the trial, from Karioz's tampering with the hourglass to Garrosh's arrogance, the escape and fighting their own mad selves. Then Jaina told her of her own death and resurrection by the Red Crane.

"I'm speaking with a Pandaren healer from the Shado-pan. It has been... very good. She has been helping me process all that's happened in the last year," Jaina said, her voice very quiet. 

Jaina was surprised to feel some apprehension when faced with her friend. She mentally took a step back and asked why. The answer was surprisingly easy to find. She and Vereesa had supported one another in fury, fed off one another,encouraged one another. Being angry had been so easy around Vereesa, so good. It would be seductively easy to fall back into that pattern. Jaina braced herself against concept; Garrosh wasn't worth losing herself for.

"I should have been there to fight," Vereesa said, frowning. "I might have been able to warn you."

Jaina hadn't been expecting that. "Or you might have died and then where would your boys be?" Jaina asked her. Unexpectedly Vereesa went pale.

"I... Almost did," she told Jaina. "I got to speak with my sister at the trial." Vereesa looked down at her hands. "She almost convinced me to come with her. But then I thought of my boys." She looked up. The smile she offered Jaina was small and fragile. "And I went back to Dalaran. I belong with them." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her next words wavered a little but Jaina could not doubt her conviction. "My sister is dead. The woman I grew up with and loved and idolized is dead. The body walks around but she is a twisted shadow of Sylvanas."

"Vereesa I am so sorry," Jaina said, feeling her words were inadequate. Arthas had been another shared point of sorrow.

Vereesa nodded. She looked at Jaina with slightly watery eyes but they were clear of the tight fury Jaina had seen in her own reflection so often. "It makes no sense but after coming so close to losing everything I cared about, I feel... More... than I have since my Rhonin died." The words were halting as she struggled to explain her feelings.

"It makes perfect sense," Jaina said. "I know exactly how you feel." Jaina cleared her throat, feeling suddenly emotional. "I died and lost everything. I'm only here because Chi-Ji chose to save those who'd fallen." She bit her lip and folded her hands on her desk, taking a moment. The moment of her death was still frightening and unlike so many she was _alive_ to be frightened of it. "I will be continuing to see the healer in Pandaria. I've told Modera I will be leaving the city periodically to see her, but not exactly why."

Vereesa nodded. She'd dropped her eyes to her hands again and wore a small thoughtful frown. She looked back at Jaina. "Is it helping?" she asked at length, her blue eyes searching. 

Jaina had always recognized the same pain and anger. Now she recognized the same weariness. She unclasped her hands, breathing a small sigh of relief. Perhaps they were both past the maelstrom. "So far it seems to be." She tucked her hair back behind her ear. "I could inquire?"

Several emotions flickered over Vereesa's face before she finally settled back into the pensive frown. "I'll think about it."

Jaina nodded. "Of course."

Vereesa offered her a tentative smile. "How is everything else? How are you feeling? I saw Kalec lounging outside."

"My energy is recovering. Physically I'm okay now. As for Kalec? We've come out of the fire closer." She tucked her hair behind her ear again and briefly smiled down at her desk. They'd become quite close.

"Oh, really?" Vereesa sat forward. Her friend was observant to say the least. "That was a happy look just now. I'm guessing it's become _very_ close?" Her voice dripped with amused innuendo.

Jaina felt her cheeks heat despite her desire not to blush like an apprentice. "Very." Jaina looked away then back. "Ask me again when I'm not in my office." A little harmless girl-talk over something happy for once would be good. 

Vereesa smirked. "I'll bring the wine and chocolates. You bring the details."

Jaina covered her laugh with a hand. What was wrong with feeling half her age and girlish anyway? She and Vereesa had bonded over their shared loss but perhaps they could be friends without it.

"It's a deal."

"Don't do too much work. Go home and heal," Vereesa said more seriously as she rose.

"I'll be just a moment then we'll go," Jaina said, looking for and finding a blank piece of parchment. "Goodnight, Vereesa."

"Cuddling in bed with a warm attractive body is an excellent way to heal an injury," the Ranger-General mentioned casually as she walked to the door.

"Goodnight, Vereesa," Jaina repeated, laughing. The elf grinned back at her and took her leave.

Jaina smiled after Vereesa. She eyed the work on her desk then decided that what she needed was an evening at home. She needed to process all she'd learned and she wanted to have some time to rest before she went back to her duties. Kalec probably had some feelings to process as well. She'd felt wrung out after she'd given her testimony and shared her pain with the crowd. Kalec's confession of his burdens might have had a similar effect on him. And cuddling sounded wonderful. But first she wanted to have Kalec's name added to the maintenance roster.

Dalaran's largest magical workings were maintained by the most powerful mages who dwelled within the city. Among these works were the wards on the Violet Hold, The wards around the Vaults that stored the Kirin Tor's most dangerous artifacts, and the spells that kept the city floating high above Northrend and in the same position. Additional help was called upon during blizzard conditions or in the case of attack, but the rotation was in place to ensure that the power drain didn't overburden any one mage. Jaina expected there might be some reluctance to have Kalec join them but rationally, he had the most power of any mage in the city.

Archmage Algus Finch was currently in charge of the roster and made all adjustments. He was also the mage in charge of the Hold's wards. Jaina penned a quick letter informing the archmage that Kalec was to be added to the rotation, starting with being in her place for this week and adding her back in the week after. She sealed the missive and then sent it to Finch's office with a quick spell.

Jaina collected Kalec and the two returned to her residence. Jaina sank onto the couch and toed off her shoes with a sigh. Kalec sat beside her and she turned to rest her head in his lap. She sighed again when his hands went to her hair.

"Today was a very long day," she observed.

"It was," he agreed.

She caught his hand and held it against her cheek. "How about a quiet evening in?" she suggested. 

"I think I'd appreciate that, Jaina. I think... I know I feel better for having told you but it was a lot to burden you with."

She sat up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I may only be a human but I care for you and you were hurting. If you feel better then I do as well." She nuzzled the side of his neck. "Thank you for trusting me. I just wish I had some answers for you."

He returned the light nuzzle and shifted her so she sat in his lap, leaning against his broad chest. "As I've wished for a solution to your pain."

"I think I finally have a plan even if it will take some time to complete the process." She'd devoted too much of her life to someone who doesn't deserve the attention given to him. And if she kept telling herself that, if she kept choosing herself and what was best for her, then maybe the desire to hunt Garrosh down would go away. 

"What do you think you'd like to teach?"

The small frown eased as he hummed thoughtfully, resting his chin on her head. "I wouldn't mind being asked to teach basics. Good fundamentals are important. I don't imagine there is much call for my pet research topics." He smiled somewhat bashfully. "I expect there's little hope anyone in the city cares for unifying theories of magic."

"There are a few who dabble. There might be more who are interested but haven't had collaborators. I'm curious for example. What you said the other night? I hadn't thought of the connections." She sat back a little to be able to face him. "I've always idly wondered how the Exodar and the Naaru ships work. It seems clear they're using some of those same shared principles."

"I've always thought so." He looked wistful. "I've wanted to visit and see for myself but there's never been time."

"You have time now," she said, lightly tapping his chest. She gave him an encouraging smile. "You've agreed everyone else should be abroad learning what they might. Why should you be exempt?" She had the abrupt thought that it was easier to give someone else the advice she should take herself

He frowned and looked so the side. "I suppose I do. And I know there are a few blues who have taken up residence on the continent in the area. I could check in with them. But do you think I would be allowed in?"

Jaina smiled and touched his cheek. "I don't see why not. And I can write you a letter of introduction. Or better yet, ask Anduin to write one. He was the prophet's student."

"I'd appreciate that. I'd love to speak with the Naaru in residence there as well."

"You'll take notes to share when you come home, right?" She asked then winced. Home was a touchy subject. He drew her eyes with a gentle touch against her jaw.

"You're becoming my home," Kalec said earnestly. "I'll begin to find a purpose again. I don't know how long it will be, but I am going to try to build here. I have felt aimless and depressed and adrift. It's why your sadness hurt so much, I think. Yet one more person I could not help and more reminders of my own shortcomings."

"But you did help," she said. "At least a little. And I was fighting it."

He kissed her brow. "As you helped me. But I think now I am ready to fully accept the help and even move on." He ducked his head and smiled a little at her. "And maybe that's the same for you?"

She found herself nodding rapidly. It had taken the crucible of confronting her own pain and potential madness but she'd found hope. It had taken her death to shake her enough to stop fighting and accept help. "You said you also wanted to learn to lead?"

He nodded. "Malygos was largely absent during my lifetime. I was able to do what I needed to do during the Cataclysm but it fell apart so quickly afterwards. I owe it to myself and to my flight to learn to be better. Even if we are destined to fade, I still want to ensure they are well until the end and our legacy isn't the source of more harm for the world. And I know I can do better than I have done."

"I think you did remarkably well for your situation." She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. "I have copies of some of the books of fundamentals. Some of them are even mine from when I was an apprentice." She bit her lip as she studied the collar of his shirt. "Most of my books are gone, but I'd left some with Antonidas' things. They were in storage all this time."

She sighed and rested her hands against his chest. "Finding them hurt, but brought back good memories too. I had some copies of research papers here and many of my primary sources are still held here, but so much was gone." Jaina toyed with the folds of his collar then the ties of his vest. "The loss of the people hurt first. That was immediate. Then I realized I'd lost my lab and all my books and all my work. I didn't expect that to hurt as much as it did. And only after that did I really realize I was essentially homeless. Realizing that was... I was embarrassed." She smiled thinly and studied the leather of his vest. "I don't know where I was going with this but talking out what I'm thinking has helped in the past couple days."

"Then it's a good thing," he said. "Maybe I should try it."

She shrugged a little. "Don't see it can hurt." She took a deep breath then sighed it out. "Library? You can witness first hand how atrocious some of my early sigil work was." She climbed off his lap and stood.

He chuckled, rising with her. "I cannot possibly be as bad as mine was." He waggled his fingers at her. "These are not as easy to write with as one would expect."

She laughed and took hold of the wiggling fingers then led him to her small library and hopefully better memories.

* * *

Morning the following day was remarkably routine for Jaina. She woke at dawn, was able to meditate and center herself and dressed. A still sleepy-looking Kalec joined her for a quiet breakfast on the small residence balcony. 

She felt far more recovered and rested and was able to summon scrolls and send missives all on her own. The stairs were also tackled without her being winded which was a good sign as well. She settled in to tackle the mountain of paperwork with a mug of her favorite tea and had cleared fully half of Paperwork Hyjal by noon. 

Modera dropped by for a working lunch to advise her on everything she'd missed and brief her on the latest missive from Khadgar. He'd not yet requested additional resources but Modera and she agreed it was likely something coming soon.

The afternoon was a revolving door of city managers and council members as they gave her updates or simply had heard rumors and wanted to see her in person. She was somewhat concerned she'd not heard from Finch by the end of the day and sent a short note to his mailbox reiterating that Kalec was to be added.

Paperwork Hyjal was more or less conquered by the end of the day and Jaina left her office to meet Kalec downstairs. Seeing him she felt the tension in her shoulders ease. Her steps quickled down the last few meters of hallway. They greeted one another with a short kiss and clasped hands.

"I hope you weren't bored," she said.

"It was fascinating reading actually. I hope you don't mind but think I may have accidentally started a treatise on differing methods of basic summoning."

"I look forward to reading it." She smiled. A mage in blue with shaggy brown curls approached and Jaina smiled a greeting to Archmage Finch. The smile froze as she realized the other mage appeared to be less than thrilled.

"Archmage, I wished to speak with you about something." Finch glanced at Kalec.

"Give me a moment, please, Kalec?" She tried to appear neutral, but it was clear Finch had a problem and it was likely related to Kalec in some way.

Kalec bowed and stepped away, going to the balcony outside. When he was gone Jaina returned her attention to Finch. "Yes?"

"I will not let a dragon into our most secured areas. I will especially not allow a blue dragon into the vaults." He was a tall, rail thin man, so he did not need to draw himself up to look down on her, yet he did anyway.

Jaina felt the anger rising and mentally took a step back, taking a calming breath and forcing her hands to stay unclenched. He was not attacking her. He was concerned because blue dragons had been enemies. She felt her good mood dissipating despite reigning in the kneejerk reaction.

"It wasn't a request."

Finch did a double take. It would have been comical if she'd been in a better mood. "Archmage Proudmoore, he is-"

"A mage with more power than probably the entire Council combined? A mage with several thousand years of experience? The dragon chosen to be the Aspect of Magic?" She forced herself not to cross her arms and instead looked at him placidly. She wanted to turn him into an iceblock, but she settled for clasping her hands together in front of her.

"The poor stewardship of the Dragons has been nothing but trouble for us. You would understand that most of all I would think." Finch crossed his arms over his chest.

Jaina could practically hear his remark before he was finished speaking and carefully schooled her features into polite neutrality. She'd been able to withstand Varian in full fury; Withstanding Finch would be no trouble. Even if he was making personal attacks, it was to get a rise out of her.

"I place the blame for Theramore with the appropriate parties. Five blue dragons died guarding the focusing Iris. Garrosh Hellscream gave the order to have the Iris stolen and turned into the weapon it became." She was astounded by how calm she managed to remain as she spoke.

Finch sneered but apparently thought better of whatever retort he had intended to make. "It is a security risk."

"When he was accepted into the Kirin Tor by the Council, he was given the rank of Archmage. Included with the rank were the privileges as well as responsibilities. He is of a power level that makes him suitable to assist in the major workings."

"I think it opens us up to dangerous manipulation."

"The last time we were dangerously manipulated it came from the Sunreavers," Jaina stated. Finch winced but did not dispute the fact. 

"We don't need a _dragon's_ help!" He drew himself up and Jaina realized this wasn't so much about hatred as it was about pride. That was surprising to her, but it cast the conversation in a wholly new light.

"I will be unavailable this week," she said to throw him off. "You're going to want the mage power."

Finch blinked. "Why?"

"The short version is that there was an incident at the trial in Pandaria. The only reason I am here at all is because one of the Celestials intervened. I am still recovering my power and would be fairly useless to you this week."

Finch's arms uncrossed. "Merciful spirits what could drain your powers that much?"

"I died."

Finch opened his mouth then closed it again, wearing a thoughtful expression. "Oh my that is rather serious isn't it," he mused, chin in hand. "I imagine the Celestial utilized your own mana pool to facilitate the resurrection spells necessary. I have read theoretical treatises on such things but they're notoriously difficult. Well at least for the mortal races. You aren't... craving the flesh of the living or feeling bent on their destruction, correct?" He asked, entirely serious.

Jaina sighed. "I am alive and recovering. I sincerely doubt the Red Crane would care to raise an army of zombies."

"Hm, true." Finch resumed tapping his chin thoughtfully. 

"Archmage," Jaina said, trying to get the conversation back on track. "Kalec has requested to do his part for the city. I expect you will be able to teach him the proper procedures for Dalaran?"

"What? Oh are we back to that. I do not like this idea," Finch said, shaking a finger at her. "We don't need dragons stomping all over and telling us how to do things or insisting on frivolous gobbledygook when a nice clean cast will do."

"We need Kalec's power this week," Jaina reminded him. "And would you prefer he be unaware of how we do things or would you care to train him in the methods we use here in Dalaran?"

Finch eyed her shrewdly. "You know I would prefer if he didn't muck about."

"Then he will learn the proper procedures as you and I and every Archmage in the rotation has learned. The title came with the responsibilities and that includes doing things our way in our city," Jaina said.

Finch pursed his lips in thought. "He is still a blue dragon. They did try to steal everyone's magic."

"Kalecgos was the _leading_ voice _against_ Malygos." Jaina looked Finch up and down and considered what to say next as the other Archmage digested his new information with a slightly sour expression, but one which was far less thunderous than before.

"I think," she said, "that you will find he has much to say about the Nexus war that you agree with. He is willing to learn our ways and has the standing to prevent future dragons from mucking about in the wards, as you say." As much as she could help, as much as she wanted to help, it would be better for Kalec to make his case himself. The more mages who saw him as a person the better and the faster he would be able to feel at home in the city. And with her.

"I understand your concern given the past interactions with the blue flight. However I am fully confident in Kalec's genuine desire to pitch in and be a citizen of the city, responsibilities and all."

Finch snorted. "What, he's going to move in and do research too?"

Jaina smiled, a genuine one she felt no need to hide behind a diplomatic mask. She couldn't have been handed a more perfect opening than if it had been planned. "Actually, he just might. Though he has wondered if there would be much interest on Unifying Magical Theory."

"Unify- Oh spirits not another one!" Finch threw his hands up.

"Excuse me?"

"That's my brother's field, Archmage," Finch said with a long suffering sigh. "Please tell me your dragon doesn't go on about probability wave functions for _hours_ at a time?"

Jaina blinked. "No."

Finch snorted. "Well thank the Makers for small mercies at least." He shook a finger at her. "I'll show him how we do things, but he's got to follow our rules. No attempting to rewrite any wards or any hinky business with my matrices without permission."

"Of course not. That would be unacceptable for any mage in the city."

"Fine. Fine! Have him show up at eight am tomorrow and be ready for a day of work. If he's going to lend his power I have some configurations that that need sprucing up a bit, decay you know, and it's a good way to see everything. You know Archmage, you did the same thing."

Jaina inclined her head. "Of course."

Finch snorted. "Unifying theory." He rolled his eyes and turned to leave. "Eight am, sharp!"

Jaina watched him bustle out still muttering. Jaina drew in a breath then let it out. The conversation had not gone as she'd expected. Anger and resentment? Yes. Pride? No. But Finch could at least be swayed by logic and assurance that he was still master of his domain. Maybe if his brother had a shared research interest that might be a benefit. She hoped Finch wasn't the type to scorn anything a sibling did simply because as sibling had done it. 

Jaina found Kalec with Vareesa and her sons on the terrace. Both boys appeared to be peppering the dragon with questions. The dragon had sat down so he was on their level. Jaina paused at the door and watched. Kalec was kind and gentle and if only they gave him a chance Finch and the others would see him as she did.

* * *

Kalec's heart ached as he withdrew to the terrace outside. Change took time he reminded himself, even if he wanted it done with so he could move onwards. Since Jaina's sudden death and miraculous resurrection, he'd been aware of his own mortality in a way he'd not been before. Even knowing there had been no new dragon nests, it had been a sad but academic prospect. He'd expected the erosion of his race to happen over many years. As the Red Crane's blessing had allowed Jaina to heal, it had lifted the veil from his eyes. He might not have a _day_ let alone centuries or millennia. The restoration of his people was not something within his power, he could feel it in his bones. What he could do, though, was secure the vaults of the Nexus and teach the younger races who would likely inherit their contents.

Kalec looked over the balcony at the city and watched the citizens go about their lives. He would have liked allies in this task from his own people, but without a future, he was reluctant to demand any blue dragons assist him in his efforts. Perhaps they would come if he gave them the opportunity. Kalecgos decided he would make one. He'd kept loosely in contact with the blues and an informal communication network existed. He'd heard little from Kyrigosa. She appeared to be among those who wished peace and solitude in which to mourn and so he had not pressed her. He understood well the desire to hide from the world and its complex pains, wars and burdens. But he also knew there was happiness to be had as well.

And perhaps there was always hope so long as one looked for it. He would remain here and he would find more younger mages who understood magic as he did. He'd already found Jaina. He suspected Modera, of all the council, did as well. Possibly Khadgar, though stories of him being on the more reckless side had made it to his flight. Perhaps a solution to the Sorrow of the dragons would be found in a mind coming at it from a new approach.

He winced as the Mage, Finch, raised his voice at Jaina. Change would come, though it would be slow. While Modera apparently didn't like him much, Khadgar had been genuinely friendly. The apprentices today had been polite and inquisitive and the older mages, while reserved hadn't been hateful.

Young voices drew his attention to the steps.

"And then boom! The whole thing esploded!"

"Exploded, dear," Vereesa gently corrected one of her sons. Galadin Kalec thought. The one who smelled more like the wild wind than the arcane.

"Yeah, it exploded!"

"Yeah!" his twin, Giramar, echoed.

The Ranger-General sighed as she ushered the boys up the final stairs. She looked surprised to see him. He bowed.

"Hello, Vereesa," he greeted.

"Kalec," Vereesa returned the greeting. "Going for a flight?"

"No. Jaina is... debating a point with Archmage Finch. I am giving them some space."

"Ah," Vereesa frowned slightly. Shaking herself she nudged the boys who were staring at him with open curiosity. "Boys, be polite. You remember Kalecgos."

"Hello," Galadin said.

Giramar's expression was solemn. "You look like us, but mama says you're a dragon." 

Kalec crouched down so he was more on the boy's level. "I am a dragon."

"But you look like us," Giramar repeated and Kalec understood that the boy was not referring to his humanoid form but that he looked like a half-elf. Half-elves were not always treated well; something he'd been largely spared because he was known as a dragon.

"I do."

"Why?"

Kalec smiled and leaned forward as if letting the boys in on a secret. "Because if I look like myself, I can't fit through doors in Dalaran." That earned giggles as he'd hoped. "So I choose to look like this." He slightly emphasized that his appearance to look as a half-elf was a deliberate choice. Kalec had tried out looking like an elf and like a human. Neither had felt right to him in the way being something in between had felt.

"You wanted to look like us?"

He nodded. "Do you mind?"

Giramar thought about that for a moment, frowning again. Then he shook his head. "No. Can we see what you really look like?" he asked, suddenly excited.

"Yeah!" his brother chimed in a beat behind.

"Well I'm afraid I'm a bit too big for the city. I wouldn't fit very well on the landing here," Kalec said.

"Woah! That's huge!"

Vereesa made a noise and took half a step to corral her sons, but Kalec laughed. "I didn't start that way. I was about this big when I hatched," he said holding up his hands to show the boys the approximate size of a hatchling, a distance smaller than the width of his shoulders.

"That's really small," Giramar said.

"It is," Kalec agreed.

"Can we leave the city and you can show us?" Galadin asked. "Maybe on the ground?"

"What color are you? Can you breathe fire?" Giramar asked.

"Do you know the queen of the dragons? Is she bigger than you? My mom said she is the biggest dragon."

"Did you know Krasus? Daddy said he was a dragon too, but we never got to see,"

"Boys," Vereesa warned.

"It's fine," Kalec said, smiling at her. He sat tailor style on the ground, which put him at eye level with the two children. "Yes I know Alexstrasza and yes, she's larger than I am. I knew Krasus. He was a very great red dragon." His relationship Alexstrasza's late Prime Consort had been somewhat complicated, but he'd been a great dragon and his sacrifice was to be respected as well as mourned.

"Dad was real sad when he died."

"We all were," Kalec said. 

"He died like our dad did," Galadin said. "Savin' people."

Kale nodded. "He did. Both were very noble and brave."

The boys smiled.

"Can you breath fire?" Galadin asked. "Roaaaar and then all the bad guys are gone!" he asked pretending to breathe flames.

"I'm a blue dragon, so I can emit a freezing mist."

"Freezing stuff doesn't make it esp- explode," Galadin said, disappointed

"You can breathe ice?" Giramar asked, his eyes huge.

"Emit it," Kalec said. "I can also cast other spells in a similar way."

"Can you show me?" Giramar asked.

"Can we go flying sometime?" Galadin asked.

"Can we?" his brother chimed in, distracted by the prospect of flying with a dragon.

"Boys," Vereesa called over. "Kalecgos isn't a hippogriff."

"Sorry," they said in unison.

He leaned in again. "Maybe sometime if your mother says it's okay. I imagine you'll have to do your chores and schoolwork to get her to agree," he said sagely.

The boys nodded, grinning.

"Come on you two," Vereesa said. "Thank Kalec for answering your questions."

"Thank you," the boys chimed dutifully.

"You are welcome, Giramar, Galadin," he said addressing each twin. They seemed pleased he'd gotten them correct and they rejoined their mother. Kalec rose dusting off his pants.

Vereesa was speaking with Jaina at the doorway. The boys each gave Jaina a hug then the family went inside. Jaina held out a hand to him and he took it.

"Am I causing trouble for you?" he asked.

She kissed his hand. "You are worth some trouble. I think I finally was able to get him to think, so there was progress. Apparently his brother is researching unifying theories." She tucked her arm into his and began to lead the way to her quarters. "Were the boys pestering you?"

"Not at all. They were curious and their questions innocent. I didn't mind. They're good kids" 

Jaina nodded. "They are." Jaina drew in a breath and let it out. "I just wish the people here could see you're trying to be a friend. You know so much and could help us do so much good. I can't force it into their heads."

Kalec kissed her brow. "Don't worry about me, beloved." He tilted her head up with a gentle finger under her chin. "I know my flight has much to atone for."

His eyes we once again sad. Jaina wished she could wave a hand and lift those burdens from him and in doing so, perhaps lighten her own heart as well. She lifted a hand to his cheek. "What might I do for you, Kalec?"

He took her hand, kissed it and held it close to his heart. "You are already doing it." He leaned forward and kissed her. She returned the kiss in kind, keeping it short since they were in public, but she wished for him to know where she stood; beside him.

"I promised Anduin I'd make him a new hearthstone. Would you like to help with that? I think I'm well enough to help but I couldn't do it on my own."

His expression brightened. "Of course! I've never made one before."

"They're likely more simple than artifacts you're used to."

"And likely more elegant, too." He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. "You make remarkable things and more gaudy is not always a good choice."

She smiled. "Come on. I have the materials in my lab."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The construction of magical artifacts and sharing memories leads to happier times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter since I am splitting out nsfw content into their own chapters.
> 
> Thanks for the continued support of people dropping kudos, checking the fic out and reblogging it on tumblr :D

"You've really never made a hearthstone?" Jaina asked as she willed a little light spell into the fixtures of her lab. The effort required to illuminate the room was more than she was used to, as were most of the small castings she took for granted. She paused in the center of her lab.

"No, I haven't needed one," Kalec answered. He almost walked into her when she stopped abruptly. "What?"

"I'm reminded that being here in my lab in my new home with you is a gift." She touched her fingertips to the top of the smooth wooden workbench. Someone would have had to go through her things had she died. She had no immediate family and didn't know who the task would have fallen to. Her assets would have been distributed among the surviving orphans of Theramore and the research materials donated to the Kirin Tor. The few heirlooms she'd kept with her other belongings in Theramore were long violet dust, but the remaining items still in Kul Tiras would likely be claimed by her cousin.

"Wait here a moment?" she asked. "I need to get some things from my room."

He nodded and sat at the high stool at the table. Jaina hurried to her bedroom and retrieved her hairbrush. She paused by her dresser and opened the small box on top, taking one of the items. Jaina next stopped by the hearth in her parlor and picked out a sizeable chunk of burned wood. She returned to her lab and set both the brush and wood down. The other item she carried was a gold locket. It was fairly large and could charitably be described as "gaudy" but the overdesigned case went far beyond the bounds of the word. She opened the locket and handed it to Kalec.

"My mother," she said, pointing to the miniature portrait. Kalec's grasp on the item grew more reverent. The painting had probably cost her father a ridiculous amount of money to have done, but her mother's health had been rapidly fading at the time. Her mother had only been about ten years older than Jaina was now, she realized.

"The healers could only slow the process when the cancer was found. It had spread too far." She bit her lip. "I hated this locket. I hated the style. I hated my father had it made for me to remember her by. I hated she was dying and wouldn't see me become a fully trained mage, wouldn't see Derek or me marry and wouldn't see her grandchildren." Jaina took a breath in then let it out. "I think this is the first time I have ever truly _hated_ something."

"You kept it though."

"Father gave it to me as soon as the portrait was done and sealed. I showed it to my mother and we laughed about how truly unfortunate his taste in jewelry was. He was just trying to cope with everything she said. I wanted him to take it back but she told me to keep it. She took the locket from me, kissed the other side, closed it and told me to keep a kiss for when I needed it. It was silly and I was too old for such things, we both knew it, but she made me laugh." Jaina smiled at the memory. "I kept it closed until after she died. I opened it my first night back in Dalaran after her funeral."

"Did it help?"

"A little," she admitted, taking the locket back. "It helped me remember her laugh. She was always laughing." Jaina smiled at the portrait then back at Kalec. "And it was a truly hideous piece. Mother agreed. I had other portraits of her. Larger ones done when she was more healthy." She smile ruefully at her own actions. "As silly as it was, the kiss was gone. The moment we had was just another memory. So I tossed it into a vault with teenage thoughtlessness. I was wrong though." She looked up at him. "When I found it again and opened it- I'm sorry this is silly. Nevermind." She looked down and wiped away an unintended tear. 

He tilted her chin up with a gentle touch. When Jaina could finally look him in the eyes she didn't see any mockery. "Was there still a kiss inside?" he asked.

"There was." The words came out a bit watery even though she smiled. "Anyway." Jaina wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand. "I got to see your father. This is my mother. There are statues of my father. You might have even seen the one in Stormwind."

"May I see it again?" He carefully studied the portrait when she handed it back. "You look a lot like her."

"Not with this," she said, touching the white locks of hair. "Mother was only just beginning to go grey. Her hair was gold, not this... bleached deathknight hair." She sighed and gently took the locket back. "I brought spell components." She closed the locket then decided she might as well wear it to get it out of the way.

Kalec gently brushed her hair aside and helped her with the clasp of the necklace. "Your brush and some wood as sympathetic items to anchor the location?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded and pulled a few strands of pale hair from the brush and set them into a shallow ceramic dish from a stack. She placed it and the wood in its own disk on the table inside the large metal circle inlaid into the surface. "In the chest behind you, third row from the bottom, second from the right, there is a stone in a bag. Would you get it?" He nodded and went to retrieve the requested item.

"You were saying you've never needed a hearthstone?" she said as she began to return the alchemical components for the ink she'd need to make. "Portals?"

"Yes," he confirmed. He set the velvet bag with the stone inside on the table. "Mostly I enjoy flying," he told her, awaiting further instructions. She handed him a mortar and pestle filled with herbal components and he began crushing them. "So while I know the standard portal locations I enjoy flying if the time allows."

Jaina began to measure pre-mixed powders and set the components aside as she weighed what she needed. "Standard places?" she asked, taking the ingredients he'd been crushing and giving him another.

"Coldarra, Hyjal, Winterspring, Ulduar, Wyrmrest temple as the places I have known longest. I also know places near the Caverns, the Dark Portal and the Red flight territory. Now I can go to a few places in Pandaria as well as close to major cities including here."

She leaned over his shoulder to check his work. He wasn't quite done so she ran a hand over his back and turned to the cabinet of components. "I know the major Alliance cities and Dalaran. A number of locations in Pandaria now," she said. "And Icecrown," she added with a sigh. She retrieved a vial of gold flakes from one drawer and some small sapphires from a second. She checked his work again. "I think that's about right. Can you use this file on the wood, please?" She handed him the metal file and began shaving down the wood from her hearth.

She opened the drawstring of the velvet bag and pulled out an oval crystal the size of her palm. Jaina set it on top of the bag on the workbench. "The first one of these I made took me almost a month once I gathered the components." She smiled faintly as she withdrew a large, shadow ceramic bowl from a storage cabinet under the workbench.

"How old were you?"

"Eighteen I think," she said, wiping the bowl down to make sure there weren't foreign components or collected dust which might ruin the spell. "No, I was seventeen. I used my stone to return to Kul Tiras when I turned eighteen. It seems so long ago."

"Seventeen?" He looked up in genuine surprise.

She looked up. "Well, I was a bit of an early bloomer," she admitted feeling a slight blush. "Dragons don't try to build little artifacts that young?"

"We do," he nodded and resumed his work with the wood. "Most of the mages I've interacted with from the younger races are older than that so I think I assumed it was something one did when they were older and more trained. I suppose by now I shouldn't be surprised by all you accomplish," he said with an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean any offense."

"None taken. Antonidas had me start as soon as I expressed an interest in what he was making," she explained as she started a small brazier to burn under the ceramic bowl. "I don't think he expected much from a first attempt, but I made a little shield ward. It was about what you'd expect from a student construction, but I did it and it worked." She began to combine ingredients in the bowl as it heated.

"I'm sure he was impressed. I know I was when my students started to work things out on their own," he said. "How much of this?"

"Five grams total," she said, quickly resetting the scale for him to use. He quickly finished measuring then watched as she added ingredients. "This is a fairly simple process. I need to make the ink then empower the stone," she explained. "What sorts of things do younger dragons make? Seven grams of this, then we have to crush the sapphires."

"All manner of things. Some of them more practical than others. When I was younger we were more encouraged to experiment. When I was older and helped train the younger generations there was more of an emphasis on protective wards, deterrents and nullifying fields." He measured out seven grams of the sapphire and set it into the growing row of measured ingredients.

"You'd mentioned to me once that dragons tended to go for ornate constructs. Did that hold true for younger dragons?" she passed him a bowl of earthroot. "Knives in the drawer behind you. I need ten ounces chopped finely."

"It was how things have been done," he explained as he found the knife and began turning the earthroot into smaller and smaller pieces. "In my youth there were always dragons who tried to go for the exact opposite extreme, though."

"Oh? Contrary dragons?"

"Prideful," he corrected. "The Highborne mages tended towards overly complicated constructs as well. Some considered the Highborne works to be hatchling workings and sought to create more elaborate workings. But the others saw what the elves did and decided they would express their utter prowess over Magic by creating the most efficient, modular and elegant spells."

"What changed?"

"We did, I suppose. It became the accepted style. There's a challenge in adding more to the spell and getting the whole thing to work together without any individual component shake it all apart or unravel the weaving entirely. The debate among peers is also part of the appeal." He smiled at her then returned his gaze to his work. "Though the basis of all our teaching is the simpler module style." He finished his task and set it with the other dishes.

Jaina cast a quick spell to check the temperature of the dish then began to add components calling each out to Kalec as she added them, starting with a the sapphires. The crushed stones hit the surface with a soft susurration. The wood and gold followed next then the strands of hair. She then tipped the contents of a vial of wyvern gallbladder oil and some spring water. She let the concoction heat

"Impressive," he mused.

"I know enough to be useful," Jaina said, plucking a glass stirring rod from a padded drawer. "Tervosh did most of the potions work in Theramore. If you want to be truly impressed you should ask Archmage Karlain to give you a demonstration." She shifted the contents in the bowl around with the rod.

"Alchemy is an area I haven't spent much time with."

She arched a pale eyebrow. "So what you're saying is you're easily impressed?"

He feigned alarm. "You've caught me."

She laughed and gestured for him to add the small pile of earthroot he'd prepared while she simultaneously added a small vial of seawater. They worked together side by side as the mixture heated up then cooked down. The result was navy blue liquid that shimmered and glowed like moonlight reflecting off the water of a dark sea. Jaina pulled a thin paint brush from her supplies. "Use the ink to apply the runes."

"And you do an alignment process?" he asked.

Jaina grinned. "Exactly! Fairly straightforward but I have to hold the two matrices then fuse them. I was hoping you'd be willing to lend a hand. You don't have to if you do not wish to do so. It would be a very close joint casting."

Such castings as this were incredibly intimate and some mages avoided them because there was an element of personal vulnerability involved. To share power in such a way allowed one mage to see the other without veils or obfuscation; their power, their energy, their aura, some said even their soul, was laid bare to the other. A mage could get a true reading of the power of another mage. Traditionally the mages of the Kirin Tor kept such things private. On rare occasion the magic flared to show dream-like visions and metaphor, possibly, according to some scholars, a gimple of potential futures. Jaina had never experienced the latter but Tervosh had and politely declined to share power to such an extent.

He leaned across the table, beautiful eyes glittering in anticipation. "Of course! What must I do?"

She laughed and stroked his cheek. "I have to paint the runes on, but let me see," she looked around her lab then went to the small book-case set into one wall. "Here. I'll handle the anchoring component and be making hooks for a standard teleport spell. I should have enough in me to do that much and it's better if I'm the one to do the anchor anyway since we're binding it to my personal hearth."

He grinned across the table at her, his fingers brushing over hers as he took the slim reference volume. Kalec immediately immerse himself in the study of the specific spell structure she was going to use. Jaina waited until she as the tiny little frown form as he focused on the book. Jaina enjoyed the thoughtful expressions he wore as he considered academic material. Laughing quietly to herself she focused on the ink and the stone before her.

This particular stone was made from a high quality opal with blue and red fire. She'd made do with an average quality moonstone for the hearthstone she'd made for him to visit her in Theramore, but Dalaran's wards and flight constructs required a bit more power to navigate past safely.

She quickly sketched out the runes she wished to use and double checked their structure before dipping the brush into the bubbling ink. She wrote "home" on the stone first, then Anduin's name then the runes which would allow the spell to properly link to the location she desired and distribute the arcane energy throughout the mineral. 

"The first hearthstone I made had cracked after the second use," she said as she carefully filled in the outlines she'd made.

"Oh? Too much power?"

"Slightly too much and it wasn't distributed well. We were using substandard gems with flaws and occlusions to teach us the importance of using flawless gemstones and how to get around imperfections."

"Not a bad idea. I think I understand what you're trying to accomplish here."

She smiled but didn't look up from her work. "Almost done here," she said. He watched as she finished the last of the sigils. "There. The tedious parts are done. What's left is the hard part." Jaina straightened, wincing as her back cracked. She rolled her shoulders to loosen them up.

Warm hands covered her aching muscles and she leaned into his backrub with a sigh. She set the brush down on one of the now empty dishes. "Thank you."

"Do you want to sit for a bit?"

"No, I'll be fine. The ink needs to dry first anyway. Should only be a minute or so." She waved off the spell keeping the small brazier lit and stepped away from Kalec's magical hands to pour the remaining ink into a bottle. Once that was done she cleared away the other items and implements she'd used. her lab neat and tidy once more she offered her hand with a smile. He took it with an eager grin.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked.

"I'll lay my work then you build yours and weave it in. I'll make the fusion and we should be done. Try to match my power output or it'll be a bit of a bumpy ride when the stone gets used." She shrugged a shoulder and ducked her head. "I may possibly speak from experience." 

Kalec laughed and squeezed her fingers. "Ready when you are," he said, releasing her fingers only when she nodded to start.

Jaina gathered her power then twisted her fingers as she willed it into the runes she'd drawn on the surface of the smooth crystal. They began to glow with a faint blue-white light. She lowered her hands and the working began to sink into the crystal itself resonating between the latticework of the mineral and the forms created by the carefully drawn ink. "Now your part," she instructed Kalec.

Jaina watched the silver light dance around Kalec's fingers as he manipulated energy into the spell's form. Normally she'd held both parts of the spell herself; a draining, tiresome and tedious affair in the best of times. With his help the job was actually remarkably easy, even if she was not quite yet at her full strength. It felt _good_ to cast magic again.

She watched as he formed the working as if he'd done it for years then laid it on the crystal, holding it in place. Jaina lifted her own hands and brought her half of the working up to enmesh with Kalec's weaving. She shivered slightly as their energy made contact and melded together.

Kalec enfolded his spellwork into hers, slipping between the spaces she'd left open and filling them with his power. He wove the energy down into the lattice of the crystal then back through her empowered runes, weaving the spell as befitting his title as Aspect. As the magic entwined, Jaina became aware of Kalec in a way she'd not been before.

To her arcane senses, Kalec's power was like the sea, vast and deep. It was a churning living, yet so incredibly calm. Jaina had been born and raised on an island nation of seafaring folk. She knew how quickly a storm could rise from the horizon and crop the mast of a ship like a kodo through grass. Jaina had witnessed the utter devastation that could be wrought by a wrathful sea. Jaina knew in her heart Kalec's power could be roused to a great shattering hurricane which could sweep even her away. And yet he held perfect mastery and control over the ocean of his magic. 

She also, perhaps for the first time, could not deny just how vast his personal pool of power was. It wasn't just considered rude it was actually dangerous to make obvious displays of power or let your aura leak to the surrounding area. Dalaran had rules against such things because of the unanticipated feedback and potential to harm others indirectly. She knew most of the Archmages in the city had to rein themselves in, herself included, lest orderly arcane energy flare wildly. How much a mage had to maintain control wasn't discussed openly. Kalec had adopted the same courtesy either to follow the customs of Dalaran or because the Blues had similar ones. With so many mages doing so many magical things, keeping some personal order was important.

Jaina had had no idea how much he'd been suppressing. She didn't know if it was due to his age, his nature or because he'd once held the mantle of Aspect, but she could feel the full extent of his aura. It pushed against her own, rippling and shining like the northern lights though it wasn't truly visible or tangible. It pressed against her like a shoreline wind.

His effortless ease at maintaining his own personal order had been crafted over millennia of honing their shared craft. There was a serenity inherent in his spell-weaving, a quiet joy that resonated with her experience. She was abruptly reminded of sunlit benches, the smell of parchment and the taste of cheese and apples.

Jaina had never done this with a lover before and the intimacy of the casting took on new dimensions. With others it had been like holding a beloved relative and revisiting fond family memories. With Kalec it felt more like her lover caressing her soul with a gentle touch. His energy wrapped around her own power, covering and even penetrating it. The restrained torrent of energy vibrated along her being, humbling and exciting all at once. She was swept up in the tide and carried along gently, the arcane tingle travelling down her spine to sizzle low in her belly. Jaina cleared her throat and shifted her weight, trying to ignore the rising heat, as she followed through with her part of the weaving. Jaina locked the spell into place on the crystal and the spellwork snapped into place, the energy resonating within her like a struck bell. She smiled as she felt the spell complete properly.

The inked runes flared brightly with the violet color of magic. The power etched the sigils into the smooth surface of the crystal, sealing the spell in place and locking the magic together into the proper matrix. The enchantment complete, the crystal oval now hummed with arcane energy; just faintly Jaina could feel their joined power within the stone as distinct threads before the energy settled down into it's new home and homogenized.

Kalec let go of the casting slowly on his side. It felt like a long caress, like fingers trailing over her body and spirit. He finally released their commingled power, though he seemed reluctant to do so. Without his touch she felt lesser, colder, emptier. She let out a breath and held out a tentative hand. Kalec wrapped his fingers around hers and she shuddered again as the echo of that intimate touch flared along her arcane senses. His fingers were warm and steady. his hand was so much larger than her own and she felt a sense of safety and home. She felt the tension ease from her shoulders even as the low, burning heat rose up her spine.

Kalec's eyes had turned dark and he watched her intently. The soft smile on his lips and the way her held her hand gently was at odds with the deeply hungry look in his eyes. 

She fought a sudden urge to giggle and flee; not to run away, but so she would be _caught_.

Jaina licked her lips. He found that very interesting and his blue eyes focused on her mouth before dragging a heated line back to her eyes. "I should test the stone," she murmured. 

"It will keep a moment," Kalec said. His voice was soft, low and intent. Her body remembered the same timbre from their first intimate encounter. She rubbed her thighs together to stop the sudden ache. 

Kalec leaned forward slowly, possibly giving her ample time to run. She didn't wish to run. At least not away. He pressed his lips into the crook of her neck and she shuddered. Jaina gasped as he gently sucked at her pulse, her heartbeat in time with the throb between her legs. 

He breathed in deeply, taking her scent. He growled deep in his chest, the sound far, far too large for the body standing before her. Her body remembered that growl as well and the empty need intensified. His free hand dropped to her waist, warm against the exposed skin there, and pulled her closer with a firm hand. Soft lips brushed against her neck at odds with the hand pressed against her skin. He was a study of contrasts. So much power and so much restraint. He was a leader chosen by his people to be their living god. Yet he was humble and had willingly sacrificed that same power to save the entire world. He still had the power to unmake her, to rip Dalaran from the sky, but she knew he would never willingly harm her. She could tell him to stop right now and he would cease the gentle kisses that trailed up her neck. Jaina never wanted him to stop.

She tilted her head as the soft, teasing kisses trailed up and behind her ear. She shivered as he found that one spot which sent a bolt of lightning racing across her body in goosebumps. Kalec let go of her hand so he could trail feather light touches over her back and waist with both hands. Where he touched tingled with power. He had let it emanate from his fingertips with the barest hint of a silvered glow. Kalec's kisses wound their way lightly across her face until he reached her lips. He paused there, not touching, until she opened eyes she'd not realized she'd closed. He leaned forward slowly, not hesitant, hunting, and claimed her lips. The barest buzzing tingle of power vibrated between them.

When the kiss ended Jaina had to catch her breath. All she could feel was the gentle, charged stroke of his fingers, all she could smell was his scent. her lips tingled as if she'd eaten a hot pepper but there was no pain. "Are- Are you seducing me?" she asked, echoing his words their first time together.

Kalec nibbled at the shell of her ear, drawing a moan from her throat. "Is it working?" he whispered, voice full of devious delight and promising her wicked and wonderful things.

She let out a shaky laugh. "Yes." The hearthstone would keep. Tugging on his hand she led him towards her bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Chapter
> 
> Slightly rough sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut and only smut. Skip if you don't want to read it!  
> Thank you for the Kudos!
> 
> Short chapter. Follow up will be sooner and longer.

Kalec prowled after Jaina. The set of his shoulders, the weight of his gaze; she was being hunted. His grip on her fingers was secure. Perhaps she'd already been caught. He was a solid wall of heat just a step behind her.

She turned to him just inside her door smiling. He pressed her against the wall. Jaina gasped in surprise, the sound cut off as his lips claimed hers. Gone were the dropped eyes and courtly kisses of last year. His lips were demanding, his hands possessive. He held entwined fingers against the wall with one hand, the other curved around her ribs. His body flush against hers was solid muscle under the breezy shirt and tight leather pants. Jaina practically rode one of his thighs, the hard straining heat of him unmistakable. Kalec's fingers slid down her waist and cupped her rear. He tried to lift her leg around his hip but was stopped by the fabric of her skirts trapped between them.

Kalec broke the kiss with a low growl. His chest resonated with the sound. Panting, she met his eyes. His irises glowed in the low lighting of her bedroom, slim bands of shimmering blue. He smirked, eyes narrowing with mischief. She understood his intent a second too late, her reeling senses slowing her reaction. He waved a hand and banished her clothing.

Jaina made a wordless sound of indignation and amusement as her skin suddenly touched the chilly wall. Gooseflesh erupted across her skin, though not entirely because she wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. Baring her teeth she quickly formed her own spell and retaliated, banishing his clothing with a gesture. She grinned, defiant and daring. Kalec snorted in response, the puff of air chill enough to be seen. He pinned her against the wall, sealed his lips to hers and pulled her legs around his waist, lifting her easily. As before the casual show of non-human strength was exciting. He was hot and already hard against her, the length of him trapped between their bodies

Jaina tried rocking her hips to relieve the needy ache, but the hands holding her were firm. He growled into the kiss, hips snapping forward to rut against her. She laughed and locked her ankles, pulling him closer with embracing limbs. Jaina dared a little growl of her own just to hear his response. Kalec bit the junction of neck and shoulder, hard enough it would probably bruise. Her growl became a surprised squeak and she dug her nails into his back. Kalec froze, his shoulders cords of tension under her hands. 

"Sorry," he said, leaning back and loosening his grip. His eyes couldn't meet hers.

Heat bloomed in her chest, mingling with the tight ache between her legs. She held on to him more tightly. Jaina wound her arms around his broad shoulders, pressing her breasts against his chest. She ghosted kisses up his jaw. Jaina bit his earlobe gently then harder. He smelled like storms and snow and musky arousal. The hands around her tightened.

"I love _you_ ," she whispered. Jaina dragged the fingers of one hand back over his head and down though his long blue-black hair. "All of you, beloved." She eased the tiny frown he wore with a gentle sweep of one thumb then traced the tips of her fingers down either side of his face. Jaina leaned forward and claimed his lips with a challenging kiss of her own

He returned the kiss in kind, the frenzied heat reemerging. Finally he pulled her down onto him. Jaina gasped, arching her back in pleasure as he filled her. He began to fuck her against the wall, holding her by her thighs. She dug her nails into his shoulder and upper arm, lips, teeth and tongue warring with his. Jaina panted against his neck, fingers gripping his broad shoulders. He bent his head against her, leaving a light kiss at odds with the force of his hips and the iron grip of his hands. She scraped her nails up the nape of his neck then cradled the back of his head against her shoulder. His skin tingled under her fingers echoing the shivery feeling when their power had intermingled during the spell. The almost desperate way he thrust into her stole more coherent thoughts. She held on, enjoying the rough ride, attempts at encouragement reduced to soft exhalations of sound. He adjusted their angle, rapid strokes becoming slower but deeper. She scratched her nails along his back, groaning and rolling her hips against his in counterpoint.

Kalec stepped away from the wall carrying her towards the bed. He lifted her off him, putting her down in the center, hair fanned around her head like a halo. She rose to her knees as he prowled onto the mattress. She teased him into following her towards the head of the bed, grinning as she dodged every other kiss, playfully meeting his lips but backing away before he could claim her again. Kalec's deep growl touched the nerves at the base of her spine. She bit her lower lip and backed away until she was sitting on pillows.

Kalec reached for her, eyes dark pools that tracked her movements. She bared her teeth at him. He surged forward to grab her but she dodged away. With a twist of her fingers and more effort than she normally needed, she blinked the very short distance to appear behind him. He whirled around, eyes wide, a small smile tugging his lips. Jaina pounced before he could speak. They fell to the bed together in a tangle of laughter and limbs.

Jaina ended up on top. The short teleport had surprised, and if he were being honest, delighted him. She grinned down at him as she lightly scraped her nails over the planes of his chest. Each rough trail became the epicenter of a little electric burst that raced through his body to center at the base of his spine. He rose up on one elbow to embrace her, but she pressed him back to the bed with a hand. Kalec lay back, wondering what she would do.

Rising to her hands and knees she kissed her way up his body, stopping just under his ear. Each touch sent another rippling shockwave to pool at the base of his spine. He could feel the slightest brush of magic when her lips caressed his skin. Wanting to feel more of that electric charge he reached for her, hands ghosting over her hips and thighs. He lifted the heavy weight of her breasts and brushed his thumbs over the taut peaks. She made an appreciative sound but his hands were already moving away to caress down her sides and over her back. Her smooth skin was fascinating to touch, full of subtle and unfamiliar textures. Under it all he could feel the restrained power, now slightly leaking into the bedroom. She intercepted his wandering hands and leaned over him, her silver hair falling like moonlight around her face. How could she ever have thought it was anything but lovely? His heart ached for her still healing soul even as he wanted to flip her over and rut her into the bedding.

Jaina's expression was gentle as she leaned down and brushed her nose against his. The gesture was playful and gentle even among dragons. He let out a breath as the desperate fire in his heart eased into something less frenzied. She straddled his hips and took him in hand. He groaned, hips and eyes rolling. She held him without changing position or pressure until he managed to peel his eyes open. Smirking once their eyes met, she rose up and sank down on him slowly. The delicious heat of her body, the tightness as she surrounded him nearly was his undoing there. Kalec could not stop the deep throaty growl as his hands dug into her hips, grounding him. She hummed a rather smug sound and made a little experimental rock of her hips. His eyes snapped open, not wanting to miss seeing a moment of her ride him. Jaina set a deliberately slow pace, watching his reactions. Her core was hot and tight around him and he could smell her arousal. His hands ran over her sides and her breasts, never staying one place for long, wanting to touch all of her. Laughing quietly, she moved his hands to touch her breasts and clit. He rolled her nipple against his palm as she rode him, the other hand busy touching the little nub of flesh at the apex of her thighs. Her naked skin was luminous in the light from the two moons. Jaina's eyes glowed ever so faintly in the low light. 

Lips parted, she began to ride him faster in time with the little circles his thumb made against her clit. The pooling tension within him had wound to a point where it was very nearly painful, but he needed her to come first, needed to see her fall apart into his arms. He sat up, changing her angle and they both moaned, her steady ride faltering. He pressed harder against her, his other hand sliding around to grip her rear. She laughed but it turned into a broken moan as her bucked under her. Jaina braced herself against his shoulders and pressed her face to the crook of his neck. He could feel her hot panting breaths and hear the rhythmic slap as he filled her again and again. Kalec wound his fingers into her hair. She nipped his shoulder and the hands on her tightened, pleased and surprised. He grunted, pulling her onto him harder as he lifted his hips up. She broke was a cry against his shoulder, her body clenching around him. He thrust into her a few more times before coming inside of her.

He held her close, face buried in her neck, taking in her scent. It was always enticing but the soft layer of arousal was still new to him. He inhaled deeply as their wild hearts began to slow to normal rates. She sighed, a happy sound free of care and sorrow as her arms wound around his shoulders. Her hands caressed over his skin, soothing rather than inflaming. Nimble fingers made their way into his hair. Kalec leaned into her gentle, comforting touch. He began to feel some of his own pains ease. Whatever else might be going on, here in her arms, he was loved and that was enough for now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pillowtalk and healing conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Jaina trying to work out some of her issues as well as indulging her curiosity. I see her as someone who wants to learn everything and she hasn't been able to indulge that as she would like.
> 
> Headcanon on the political and social customs of the various Kingdoms of the Alliance. Kul Tiras Headcanon and so forth. Not going with everything the RPG books listed. This is an AU anyway :D
> 
> Thank you for the hits, reblogs and kudos!

Jaina climbed off Kalec's lap and lay on the bed beside him. She stretched her arms over her head, arching her back then sank into the bedding with a hum. His eyes followed the curves of her body and she smiled smugly to herself. Kalec's hand trailed over her stomach then up her side. His thumb swiped over her breast, the rest of his long fingers curling around her ribs. 

He pulled her back against his chest and buried his face against her shoulder. "I like working magic with you." His arms wound around her waist.

"Is that what that was?" She wrapped her fingers around his hands and arms, holding him tightly to her. Jaina suspected there might be more though. His grip was still tight against her.

He growled and playfully nipped her shoulder. "Yes."

She could feel Kalec's smug smile against her skin and laughed. Turning in the secure circle of his arms, she tucked herself close to his body, her forehead resting against his chest, returning the embrace. She settled against him, listening to the sound of his heart.

"I love you," she told him. She eased a hand over his shoulder then down his back.

His arms tightened around her as he bent his head to kiss her hair. "I love you as well," he said. She felt tension begin to leave his body as the deep, purr-like rumble began in his chest. 

Jaina enjoyed that her beloved was a safe space. She needed to wear no diplomatic mask and could simply be for once. What he was dealing with, what all dragons were dealing with, was a heavy burden, but she could be his safe place as well. He needed it as much as she did. They'd hidden and withheld from one another out of fear but they were working on it. It filled her with hope that she might have a true home once more and he might be part of it.

There was still much they did not know about one another, though. He was from a culture different from the ones in which she'd grown up. It was fair to say he knew more about hers. Jaina had been curious about the dragons once she'd come to know them, but they were still somewhat aloof.She pushed him onto his back then lay atop him, her chin pillowed on her crossed arms. He watched her, one eyebrow arched. Gentle hands came up to caress her back once she'd settled.

"How often do dragons take partners from the younger races?" she asked. Jaina had wondered but earlier hadn't been a good time to ask.

Her question seemed to catch him off guard and he made an interrogatory noise. "What brought that up?"

"Curiosity." She smiled at him and shrugged.

He accepted that with a shrug. "Not often. It's become more frequent recently. This last half of the millennium has seen far more as dragons have come into contact with you more frequently on good terms. I don't have exact numbers." His hands moved to her hair, nimble fingers untangling the knots he'd made.

"I imagine our relative level of civilization rising has helped somewhat."

"Somewhat, but there were few during the height of the Highborne."

"Oh?"

"Mhm. Aside from an isolationist history, you might have noticed that we dragons are somewhat... prideful." The gentle fingers paused on her shoulders.

"Some are. You're one of the most humble beings I know." She tapped a finger against his chest.

He chuckled. "I am an unusual dragon and even I have my moments of pride, Jaina. You may not like them when they appear." 

She kissed his chest. "I nearly drowned a city out of wrath and I know I have some pride in my abilities. I think as long as we're avoiding committing war crimes we'll be fine." The dark humor of the statement didn't make it any less true.

"Hmm," he mused pensively until she tapped a finger against his chest again. "Well, I have given you fair warning that I am not without the chief sin of my people even if I am the odd goose."

"Odd duck," she corrected gently.

"Odd duck. Ducks are odder than geese?" His hands stopped.

Jaina shrugged. "I didn't come up with the idiom."

"Fair." He chuckled, his fingers resuming their gentle combing. "In any case the Highborne were also prideful. There isn't much room for a relationship when both parties are convinced they're the more advanced and more perfect race."

"The elves thought they were more advanced?"

"They did. Because they had a vast, sprawling and visible empire while we lived more broadly, and had no cities of which they were aware. And because they lived on the shores of the Well and thought themselves Azeroth's true masters of the arcane while we of the blue flight couldn't possibly be anywhere near as talented." He frowned. "And we don't look like they do. My sire was not fond of the elves. He said he always felt as if he was being treated like a beast."

"I admit when I was younger, much younger, I thought dragons were clever beasts. Some of the stories my caretakers and parents told painted them, painted you, as such. Clever or evil or both, but ultimately bestial." She dropped a gentle kiss to his chest. "And for that I am sorry."

"You shouldn't be," he said, drawing her head up with a gentle finger under her chin. "You were young and the young only have the stories of their parents, not their own experiences. Young dragons are told-" he stopped, eyes closing in a suddenly pained expression. "Young dragons were told the younger races were hardly more than children or possibly clever animals. Untrained, undisciplined, brief savages."

"Did you think such things when you were young?"

"I was curious, but it was the curiosity children have for exotic animals. My mother was the first one who spoke to me of the younger races as anything but fleeting animals of little consequence."

"Because she went abroad?"

He nodded. "She did not paint what I would consider flattering pictures; the Ancient Highborne were the ones who drew Sargeras after all. But she considered that at least a few of the younger races were rising to be competent at the whole civilization thing. Father was a harder sell. I think it was because he and Irigosa were so different in age. Father experienced life before the Night Elf civilization began, while mother walked the streets of the burgeoning human and dwarf kingdoms." He smiled at her gently. "It's a long-winded way to say we are somewhat usual, but there are other pairs like us."

"Living less prominently I expect." She snorted a laugh.

"A bit. I'm unaware of anyone else in my flight, but the blue flight has been small and insular. Given the Nexus war, well-" He broke off with a shake of his head. "Suffice it to sat relations haven't been easy. I know Alexstrasza and Nozdormu don't mind if their dragons choose mates among non-dragons. Ysera is less pleased with such pairings but allows them. Black dragons, or at least as I have known them, take whatever lovers they feel like taking. I get the sense it has always been the case they're rather... practical when it comes to mating. Earthy. Unfortunately for everyone it's a manipulation tool now."

"I've always found it somewhat sad that something so good would be used as a weapon."

"It is. Maybe Wrathion will have a chance to enjoy himself and find someone without feeling the need to make it a manipulation."

"He really hurt Anduin," Jaina said. She had a rather horrible thought and tried to push it away. Kalec noticed and tapped his fingers on her shoulder blades.

"What?"

"I had a rather... awful thought," she admitted.

"Tell me?"

"You might think less of me."

"I can only promise to listen and try to understand. Or was it just angry?"

"No." Jaina shook her head. "No. I thought that perhaps it was a good experience for Anduin. I don't like that he was hurt by a friend, but it happens. And I would rather it be with someone he's more casually acquainted with, like Wrathion, than someone he's closer to. Or by family. Still, it's awful."

Kalec rumbled thoughtfully as he tapped his fingers on her shoulders again. "I don't think it is awful. You didn't want Anduin to be hurt, correct?"

"Never!"

"Exactly. The young prince was hurt by someone he considered a friend. It is an unpleasant situation but you think perhaps a life lesson can come of it. You didn't wish for him to be hurt but I fail to see how looking at what good might be found is a bad thing."

"It hits close to home," she admitted. "I'm changing the topic."

He smiled and curled the lone golden lock around his fingers. "Of course."

"You said your father had had many mates in his life but your mother was the only prime consort. I've heard the term before in reference to Krasus. I can make guesses but what is the difference? What does it mean among dragons?"

His smile became more gentle and the look in his eyes far away. "It's the title you give he or she who is your First in Love. It is the consort you have a deeper mutual bond with as long as you both live. Your Prime is home in a way others are not. If you have a Prime then they are always considered first. Most of your children will- most were with your Prime, though there might be nest agreements with other dragons. Among the Aspects, the Prime Consorts also played functional roles within the flight. Nozdormu leads the Bronze flight, but it could be argued that Soridormi _runs_ it." He grinned at the last with a cheeky edge. Jaina wondered if it was a joke of some sort among dragons.

"It's like being married is among humans?"

"Somewhat."

"I know Alexstrasza had many consorts but it's more common than your queen?"

Kalec nodded. "It's considered normal to have many mates, or to only have one. Or none. We're dragons and we do as we wish," he concluded with a lofty toss of his head and a superior sniff. She giggled.

"But being more serious, if you have interest in a dragon who already has a Prime Consort you're effectively courting both dragons. Depending on what all parties agree to, what individuals may get out of the arrangement might be the same or very different. Sometimes being a consort isn't about mating or children at all."

"I would image there is an issue of jealousy," Jaina said, frowning as she thought.

He shrugged. "Certainly there can be, but it's part of working out relationships." His hands stilled once again. "Does it bother you? I know the customs of humans are very different."

"Academically I don't mind. It seems you have allowed yourselves space to fall in and out of love and relationships over long lives. It's all normal for you, but I don't know if most humans could handle the jealousy." She smiled somewhat ruefully. 

"Who a given dragon might be mating with isn't something we care about. If it doesn't involve you or your prime consort it's not your business. That at least is fairly universal among the flights." He sighed. "Most of the youngers races who find this out assume it's a giant orgy. It's actually very... rational? Practical? If you love someone you pursue a relationship."

Jaina shrugged. "A lot of our customs are about procreation and securing a specific bloodline, so other people tend to think it's their business." She rolled her eyes.

"Parentage isn't usually in question among dragons. You can tell if two dragons are closely related or not by their scent. Reds are best at it and can remember bloodlines well."

"I guess tales where the heir is suddenly revealed aren't so much of a theme in dragon stories," she asked wryly.

He laughed. "It was something I found baffling as a young drake. My older sister had to explain humans couldn't tell such things by scent. Scent is one way we tell one another apart after all. It's normal."

"Can you tell among humans?" she asked, curious.

"I can. It's how I can identify Vereesa's twins for example. I am absolutely cheating." He grinned and winked. "But don't tell her." 

She covered a giggle with a hand. "Of course not."

"It helps until you learn how to tell people from the younger races apart," he admitted.

"How-" Jaina blinked. "Surely you wouldn't confuse Tyrande with me?"

"We're not that bad," he laughed. "But between you and Modera? A youngster who isn't familiar with humans might make a mistake. I know humans find dragons hard to tell apart in our natural forms."

"Fair," she admitted. "And you can distinguish bloodlines? That's fascinating."

"Yes but it's a matter of comparing what's at hand. Varian and Anduin have the same family scent for example, but I don't think I would be able to discern their other relatives unless they were standing there, too. I have a better memory for dragons, limited as it might be." He frowned. "There was a story my mother told me. A blue dragon went hidden among the humans to investigate their new useage of the Arcane. The dragon wasn't aware that it wasn't common knowledge that the heir of one of the lords wasn't related to him _or_ his wife. We know now it's considered highly improper to ever state such things."

Jaina blinked. "I think I read about that. There was a minor succession conflict in Strom after the elves began to teach human mages and they pushed back the trolls together."

Kalec winced. "Not our finest or most subtle moment."

Jaina shook her head with a little laugh. "No." She sighed long and with regret. "Anduin's going to be roped into a marriage contract sooner or later because he's the heir of Stormwind. I know Varian will work with him to find a future queen he likes at least a little. I felt like a pawn on a game board when I was younger and of marriageable age. Varian's said he felt some of that as well. If he asks for my opinion I know we'd both like to spare Anduin the feeling of being prized livestock." Jaina rested her chin against his chest.

"Did Arthas taking an interest help?"

Jaina's lips twisted to one side as she considered the question. "Yes and no. It was considered by both our families to be a suitable match so they allowed it to progress at the pace he and I saw fit. I was young and in love. I felt relieved it wasn't something I had to be concerned about anymore. The part I disliked were the intrusive questions about when we would wed, when we would start having children, was I already pregnant, was I going to try to secure the marriage with an heir and so on." She rolled her eyes. "They never said anything directly to me but the court of Lorderon could be vicious and the Lords Council of Kul Tiras was full of sailors who didn't really value tact."

"Arthas courting me also meant that more girls were flung into his way to try and stop our relationship. More were flung at my brother Derek too, because Arthas was potentially out of play. Kul Tiras is smaller than Lordaeron was but we have many resources, the navy is respected and the merchant fleet is something even the goblins envy."

"Were men 'flung' at you?"

Jaina rolled her eyes again. "No. Human customs don't work that way. Well, not in Kul Tiras or Lordaeron for that matter. For the most part humans are an unfortunately patriarchal society where the bloodline that counts is the male parent. Unless they need to dispute or claim something. If blood was so important than the mother is never in question, but of course that's rarely considered." Jaina snorted. "Some kingdoms are better than others, Stormwind is a bit better, but It's all silly nonsense."

She shook her head. "No, they did not throw pretty men at my feet to woo me away. I was the lesser choice in most eyes being both female and the younger Proudmoore. When Arthas was interested there were no other young lordlings who could compete with him by rank and power. At least among humans." Kael'thas had approached her as well. He'd been a dear and respected friend and he had the power and rank to match Arthas, but she'd not loved him as she'd loved Arthas.

"I think we're still learning one another, Kalec. I don't know I could be that unselfish if a pretty lady dragon approached you."

Kalec's arms wrapped around her shoulders as he held her close, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Selfishly I want you all to myself, too." He nuzzled her temple. "I'm not looking. It's accepted by dragons but not compulsory. I don't think it would be healthy for us anyway. We're still trying to figure things out." Kalec traced light kisses over her eyes and brow.

She turned towards the gentle affection. "I like where we're going."

"Me too," he agreed with an easy smile. "Do I need to worry about competition from lords looking to marry off a son to a powerful lady?" he asked. She got the sense he was only half joking.

Jaina shook her head "No. When Arthas broke it off with me I was not of a mind to find someone else and the others were... surprised. As I was. I threw myself into my studies and we briefly reunited," she sighed. "Then Lordaeron fell, the world was upended by war again, and I had the audacity to go found a city. And then I was too old." She traced random designs over his chest with an idle finger. "Arthas' shadow had an effect on me long after he was gone," she admitted. "I tried to put it behind me as best I could."

"But?"

She winced. It was a double edged sword to have someone who cared be so insightful. "But sometimes, when things are very dark, I wonder if I was somehow flawed."

"He was the flawed one, Jaina. Look at what he chose. It _was_ his choice. He had every opportunity and form of wealth a human could wish for. He was heir to a powerful kingdom, he had resources and friendship and love. He chose to give up those things when he took up Frostmourne and the Frozen Throne."

She nodded. "Intellectually I know." She nuzzled against his chest. "After he was killed... I finally got to say good bye. I got some closure. But this past year has been hard. I've been reevaluating much of what I believed. If I could be so, so very wrong about peace, what else might I have been wrong about?"

"Do you think you're wrong still? About peace?" he asked. His fingers stroked through her hair once more.

"I don't know anymore, Kalec." She tucked her arms against his chest, curling closer. She was so damn exhausted. "I don't know. I'm so tired of being ignored and fighting to be heard. I'm so tired of bending and taking what scraps I can find. I'm so tired of being pitied and being avoided." She was also feared. Part of her liked that, but it also made her life so much more difficult. "I'm tired of the distance around me. I feel... Perhaps I should be telling the mind-healer this."

"I shared my pain with you and it has helped. Besides, you can also tell her. I'm here to listen too, if you like."

"I feel isolated. Many of my closest friends died. My entire city was turned to dust. No one has known how to react so they step away. They pity from a distance. I nearly drowned Orgrimmar. I led the Council when we purged the Horde mages from Dalaran. They fear me too."

"And so they step back," Kalec concluded. 

"I've pushed people away, too. The circle grew wider and I felt worse. Smaller. Voiceless. "

He held her more tightly. "Am I listening enough to you, dear heart?" he asked, concerned.

" _You_ do. I fear I have not listened well enough to you." She kissed his chest. "I feel I may have taken it for granted and used it unwisely. You've always given me space. I deeply and truly appreciate you haven't _demanded_ things of me. But when I have been given space I've wallowed. It has just increased the emptiness. I know now I filled the space with rage."

"No more," he said, gently tilting her head up with a finger. "Don't dwell. We both know we hid and we're moving forward. I ask this of you, love."

She nodded. "Still, what do you need? I want to give back to you. I want to see you happy. It would make me happy."

"A couple things come to mind," he said after a contemplative moment. Both hands reached up and gently ran through her hair. He watched it cascade out of his fingers then met her eyes.

"Your hair reminds me of sunlight on snow at the end of winter just before spring. The blizzards are over and we can soar through the skies without worry. The adults play- They used to play in the snow with the hatchlings." He let out a melancholy sigh then continued. "I wanted you to know it reminds me of happy times with the chill of snow underfoot and the warmth of the sun on my wings. It's not deathknight hair as you said earlier." 

Kalec smiled as he wrapped the lone gold lock around a finger. "Like the first flowers appearing in the snow. Defiant color and life against the sleeping cold of winter. I'm not saying the original color wasn't lovely, it was, but this? This doesn't make you closer to being like Arthas. You are not like him and you're not undead. It would make me happy if you would try to remember how I think rather than feeling like you've been cursed."

She blinked at him, at his fervent tone and the deep thought he'd obviously given to her hair. She'd forgotten she'd even voiced the closely held opinion aloud. Jaina dropped her eyes and considered his words. Had she thought it made her like Arthas? Perhaps she had. Kalec had brought him up to stop her from drowning Orgrimmar. Others had whispered things about how she was following Arthas in appearance as well as behavior. She'd tried to ignore it. Maybe she'd not ignored them as well as she'd thought. 

Her hair had always been something remarked upon. Even as a small child, how "pretty" she was had been the first thing adults commented on; not the book tucked under her arm or the ink stains on her fingers, or even that the golden locks were the same as her mother's. They'd told her she was pretty and had waxed poetic about her hair. When she'd been involved in Arthas it was known, and gushed over in hushed excited voices within her hearing, that they would produce more beautiful golden-haired children.

Then Arthas's hair had turned dead white. And then, far later, hers had as well. Except for the remaining defiant streak.

"People have always commented on my hair. I've heard every compliment and metaphor you could think of since I was a small child. They never started a conversation about my schoolwork, or my interests, or my magic; always how pretty I was or was going to be and what lovely golden hair I had." She found his eyes and watched him intently. "This is the first you've commented on my hair since I asked you what had happened to it."

He looked concerned. "Should I have?"

"No," she shook her head. "No, it was nice to be interacted with as a mage first, for once. To be considered based on my _accomplishments_ and not an appearance I inherited. I like how I look, but I'm more than that." She bit her lower lip and looked down. "I did wonder if you truly desired me because my appearance came up so seldom."

"I think I have aptly proven my stance on that. If you have remaining doubts I will reassure you quite fully," he told her with studied solemnity. His wandering hands,, ghosted down her sides to cup her rear and squeeze ever so slightly.

"So you have." Jaina's laugh was more of a giggle."I didn't mind the comments all the time though. My mother's hair was the same color. Something we shared." She sighed. "And I did love it. I miss it."

"It's still you and still the same, though it's a different color," he said. He frowned then looked at her speculatively. "Perhaps I am viewing this from a unique perspective. This is me," he said, gesturing to his body. "I wasn't born in this shape, but this is me. In some ways it might be more truly me." He lifted a hand and the bones and skin swiftly transformed. Five, long pale fingers shifted into three agile toes covered in iridescent blue scales and tipped in deceptively delicate-looking ice-white claws. "This is also me. It looks different but _I_ haven't changed." Kalec shifted the hand back to match his humanoid form and flexed the fingers.

"Both are me just shaped differently." He used the hand he'd shifted to gently brush her hair behind her ear. She leaned into the gentle touch. "You are the same soul even if you look a little different. Am I making sense?"

"You are," she said. "I hadn't thought in those terms before."

"You still look like your mother you know," he said. "What I noticed first was you have the same smile."

Jaina ducked her head, smiling. "Thank you." She cleared her throat. "But we were discussing what I can do for you. What do you need?"

"I would like to teach. And learn. And _live_. I was offered quarters here before, but I wanted to live in Coldarra. I think, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to be here. Maybe a lab space of my own. And I would like to live in Dalaran if not with you. The Nexus has become... Painful. Lonely."

"Stay with me," she said then kissed up his jawline. "We'll set up a lab so you have your own space for research or building or whatever you'd like. I liked coming home to you last night. I liked being able to slip into bed with you and be held and talk about whatever comes to mind. I liked working on the hearthstone with you." She dropped her eyes and bit her lip as she traced little circles on his skin again. "And I really like the sex." She met his eyes.

Kalec chuckled, eyes glittering in mirth. "Do you now?"

"Don't laugh at me when I am both flattering you and making a vulnerable admission," she joked.

Kalec's chuckle turned deep. He rolled them so she was on her back under him. He grinned down at her, his long hair falling on either side of his face. "I like the sex too." He claimed her lips in a fierce kiss. "And the cuddling." Another kiss, this one longer. "And the magic. You have no idea what a turn on it is when I see you working out complex spells."

"I think I have some idea," she said finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers together. "Watching you cast, it has been an effort not to proposition you and see just how clever these long fingers are." She arched up to kiss him. "And your lips featured often in my fantasy,"

"Did they?" he asked, intrigued. "I hope I have lived up to your expectations."

"My current dataset is fairly small still." She nipped at his jaw and he growled. He slid one of his knees up to part her legs. "I need more data, but early indications project you exceed my expectations." She gasped as his free hand slipped between her legs, slick with her own building arousal and from their earlier encounter. moaned as he touched her.

"I've begun a fascinating exploration project," he said, somehow managing to keep his voice conversational.

"Oh?"

"Mmhm." He trailed feather-light touches over her thighs. "It's an unexpected subject of study for me, but I find myself entirely captivated." 

"It sounds like it might take some time to make a complete survey."

"I imagine it will, though I am becoming familiar with the territory." He grinned impishly, wagging his eyebrows. "The natives are welcoming."

He was so absurdly silly, Jaina fell into a fit of helpless laughter. Grinning, Kalec leaned down to kiss her neck and jaw as she continued to giggle. Eventually her mirth settled into a comfortable simmering heat. 

Jaina drew his attention with gentle fingers on his chin then kissed him. She caressed his cheek with her thumb. "I love you." 

Though she'd said it before his face still lit with joy. "I love you." And though he'd said it before she still felt a giddy flutter in her heart. He leaned down to kiss her and while there was laughter, few words were spoken for a long while.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy on Thunder Isle by the sea. A discussion about past loves and things lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you tumblr folks who are reading and reblogging the link there.  
> Thanks to the folks leaving hits and kudos <3<3<3<3<3  
> Likely some slight liberties with the fine details canon and past conversations but easily within the bounds of what I've read.

Jaina woke at dawn. They'd forgotten to close the drapes. Outside her window the sky was brightening. Kalec was spooned against her, one arm across her ribs, their legs tangled together. The bed was warm and she didn't feel like getting up to start the day. She stretched and sank back into the bedding with a sigh. She'd stay just a few more minutes.

Kalec stirred, yawning. "Where should I meet Archmage Finch?" he asked.

Jaina rolled over, tucking herself against him. His arms wound around her shoulders. "The entrance to the Citadel," she told him, kissing his collarbone. "I'll be off to Pandaria."

"Do you need me to help?"

"I should be able to manage a portal there and back." She sighed deeply, content. "We should get up."

"Comfy." His voice was a sleepy rumble. "And it's only," he opened one eye and found her clock. "Half past six. This is an abysmal time to be awake," he groused.

Jaina laughed. "The bakers get up even earlier," Jaina informed him.

"That's insane," he said, yawning.

"It's a good thing you're not a baker." She smiled against his skin. "Still, we should get up, find some breakfast. I want a shower."

"Could I join you?"

Jaina laughed. "Mmm. Maybe later. We both have places to be this morning." Kalec pouted and she laughed as she rose from the bed. "Come on. Get up."

He flopped into the warm space she'd just vacated. "How about you shower first and I'll sleep until you're done?"

Jaina kissed his back and pulled on his shoulders. "Come on. I'll be doing my morning meditations. You shower." She kissed down his spine and stole the blankets away.

Grumbling more for effect than anything, he shuffled off to clean up. Jaina watched him go, admiring his back and rear. She considered, very briefly, joining him in the shower, but it would not do for him to be late and aggravate Archmage Finch further. There would be time for fun later. Jaina put on a warm robe and went to meditate.

After they were both clean, dressed and had eaten, they walked to the Violet Citadel arm in arm. Jaina enjoyed the quiet of the early morning city sounds and was content to walk in companionable silence.

"There's Finch," she said, nodding as the other mage approached from the other direction. Somehow he was able to walk and also read a scroll without hitting anything. He spied them then, wearing an expression of grim determination, he strode over.

"I hope you're ready to work," he said by way of greeting to Kalecgos. Finch nodded at Jaina then crooked his finger at the dragon. "I know you blues like to do things a bit more... gaudy than we do, but we'll have none of that in the Violet Hold!" he shook his finger in the air and began to then launch into the more standard set of directions given to every Archmage in the city with enough power to throw at the greater workings of the city.

Kalec gave her a small smile as he walked away then turned his full attention to the lanky mage. Jaina drew in a breath then let it out. While she could open a portal anywhere, it was considered rude to do so in the middle of the street. She found one of the unofficially designated exit areas and began to cast a portal to the Violet Rise. It was more of an effort than she was used to, still, but the portal opened and she felt confident she would be able to return as well. Stepping through, she let the magic whisk her to Pandaria and Thunder Isle.

* * *

It was raining. Jaina laughed as the first few raindrops hit her head. Thunder rolled in the distance and the smell of the sea filled her nose. She was hit by homesickness for her childhood home as much as for the city she'd built. She turned her face up to the sky and let the soft rain join a few tears.

Awful things had happened to her in the last year, but she was alive. She was healing. She was loved. Jaina stood under open sky, smelling the salt air and the electric charge and let the rain, an irritant during the entire campaign here, fall on her. A light drizzle was such a silly thing to be annoyed with when there were larger problems. Perhaps the water could wash away her sins as it was washing away the tension in her shoulders.

Soft footsteps that made intentional scuffing sounds roused her out of the meditative state. Drawing a deep breath she left the moment of simply being. Jaina was not surprised to see the Shado-pan healer had been the one to approach.

"Hello."

The Pandaren women smiled, studying her thoughtfully. "Good morning. I know we said we would go to Dalaran, but perhaps you would care to walk on the beach here?"

Jaina looked in the direction of the sea, the waves only just visible from where she stood, though she could hear the muted crash. "I think that would be nice."

They walked in silence down the steep staircase to the beach. Jaina took a deep breath taking in the familiar scents and recalling the last time she had been on this beach just days before. Her feet took her to the spot Kalec had led her to, where he'd rightly accused her of holding onto her anger and where they'd clung to one another, frightened and lonely. She'd been drowning and he'd held out a hand. She'd finally seen it.

"This is where I realized how far I had gone," she said, watching the waves. It was low tide, exposing the beach. Depending on the moons the entire area could be covered in water after the tide had rolled in. The sounds of the waves against the rocks at high tide had been thunderous; enough Jaina had thought they might be the reason for the Isle's name instead of the heavy rain-laden clouds above.

"Kalec led me down here so we might speak. He told me he worried I wouldn't be able to let go of my rage after the trial. I knew he would leave me if I could not. And he would be right to do so. I was hurting him." She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. "It shook me. What a mistake I had been making. I couldn't quite let go then, but it helped me see." 

"Have you been letting go of your anger since we last spoke?"

Jaina nodded. "I have tried." She related the incident with Finch. Yu-len listened quietly. "It was strange. I could see myself falling into angry defensiveness but I was able to step back. Once I did that it was so easy to see Finch's real problem wasn't a specific hatred for Kalec or me, but was lingering resentment against the dragons he's interacted with, and his own pride."

"That sounds as if you have been quite successful at recognizing the feelings as they come to you and at choosing to let go of them when they are harmful."

She nodded. "It's strange. It almost feels easy? I just wonder why didn't I do this before?"

"Were you recognizing your anger for what it was? Were you fully and consciously aware of why you might have wished to keep it? What it was doing to your relationships?" Yu-len asked.

"Not entirely. I could eventually see what it was doing to Kalec but not the rest."

"If you did not know the nature of the shadows on your heart, then how could you properly shed light on it to chase those shadows away? Do not let this become a point of darkness. Instead, consider that you did not know and now you have learned."

Jaina bowed her head. "I still feel guilt."

"Do you gain anything by being hard on yourself? By holding yourself to a higher standard than you have stated is acceptable for your peers and loved ones? Will your guilt change how any of your loved ones feel about you? Your nephew the prince? Your king? Your mate?"

"No," Jaina said, "but I have not treated them well."

"Have you apologized?"

"Yes."

"Did you mean it?"

"I did."

"Do you intend to continue to mistreat them?"

"No." She shook her head then returned her gaze to the sea. "No. So further self flagellation isn't helpful."

Yu-len smiled kindly. "Not in the slightest. That is a good realization. You can be mindful of your actions and what has been done in the past, but dwelling on such can lead to its own sort of darkness, lady. You will not always be successful, your wounds are not yet healed, and we all make mistakes, but you are trying. Your loved ones know that and love you."

Jaina opened her mouth to ask how she could be sure, but deep down, Jaina knew the Pandaren woman was correct. There were many parallels to her rage and Varian's, and Anduin had not loved him less. Anduin had a goodness and purity that astounded her; she was already forgiven. Kalec... She smiled thinking of him. He'd been a comfort to her and was swiftly becoming home.

"You think of your loved ones. Perhaps one in particular?" Yu-len asked, arching an eyebrow, the hint of a smile on her face.

Jaina nodded. "Kalec has been wonderful to me. The circumstances of our meeting were somewhat awful, but that isn't what I associate with him. Archmage Finch, the one I mentioned to you earlier, tried to bring up the blue flight's part in the loss of Theramore." She found a rock and perched on it, hugging her arms over her knees.

"It wasn't their fault. It wasn't magic that was at fault either. It was Garrosh. But I keep running into people who seem confused why I'm not angry with the blues."

"Why do you think that is?" Yu-Len asked, seating herself on rock nearby and turning to face Jaina.

"It doesn't make much logical sense to me. The blues..." she trailed off thinking of all that Kalec had shared with her. "The blues are facing their own issues. Serious issues I was told in confidence but they are frightening and disheartening. I know they had no ill intentions and there was manipulation to get them to move the Focusing Iris. Perhaps in other circumstances they might have noticed but... I know what has been going on with them. With all dragons. And I don't blame them."

"That is a very healthy way to approach the situation. Why do you think others have not agreed to such logic though?"

Jaina watched the sea for a few moments. It didn't make much sense to her and it never had. But then she didn't have the same animosity for the blue dragons as- She sat up. "Oh."

"Oh?"

"The War with Malygos. I've been living in Dalaran, surrounded by mages who fought Malygos and the warring blues. It isn't hard to think they would blame the blues for what happened in Theramore." She'd known, but she hadn't really consciously examined the issue. She should have, she'd been trained to approach issues just like this logically, but, as with so much in the last year, Jaina had found it hard to attain the cool, clear logic.

"That sounds like a reasonable conclusion."

"It's annoying though. Theramore wasn't their city." She grimaced. "But then I guess it isn't about Theramore at all. It's about their experiences." Jaina shook her head. And while she could change herself, she could not as readily change everyone else. How much abuse could he take?

"What are you thinking, Lady?"

"I am thinking that I do not wish for Kalec to leave. I don't want him to be driven away."

"Do you think he could be?"

"Kalec has a very great heart, but even he sustain too much damage. I broke and am trying to recover. Kalec seems to have enough awareness to leave before he breaks."

"Lady if I might remind you, you had no opportunity to avoid your own broken heart. Part of the recurring pain stems from the fact that it was taken from you by circumstances beyond your power."

Jaina grimaced but conceded the point with the tilt of her head. "Arthas did not break me, yet he broke my heart. He made choices beyond my control."

"Do you wish to speak of him? You have mentioned him before."

Jaina hugged her knees to her chest. She didn't want to speak of him, but perhaps she should anyway. "We met when I was a student in Dalaran. I didn't realize who I was talking to just at first. He had a charismatic intensity. He loved his people dearly and knowing he was to rule made me feel glad for the people of Lordaeron. I loved him. Courting was like a story out of a romance novel. We were going to wed. Preliminary contracts were drawn up. We spoke often about it." She'd pictured their children.

She plucked at the hem of her skirt. "He wasn't perfect. He was stubborn and could be very single-minded. I didn't see it the first time. But even after I did, I still loved him."

"First time?"

Jaina grimaced. "He broke it off with me. Said I should focus on my studies. It was abrupt."

"How did it make you feel?"

"Sad. Adrift. I had envisioned a life with him. Holidays. Milestones. Children. I was still very much in love with him even if I'd begun to recognize there were parts of him I didn't like. But I had loved him honestly and with my whole heart. The longer we were apart, the more I did not feel comfortable with some of the things he'd said. Or done. But I loved him still."

"Are you comfortable sharing some of those?"

Jaina bit her lip. "Before he fell, he was a good man. He had faults but he was a good man."

"That is not in doubt, Lady. Even the best intentioned people can make mistakes and missteps."

"He made me promise never to deny him. Anything." Jaina hugged herself and watched the waves crash. The tide was creeping in. "At the time his intensity scared me a little, but he was the man I loved. Why should I deny him? What could I deny him?" She grimaced. Older and wiser, there were things he could have asked for that she would have had every right to deny him, but the thought had never occurred to her before. Or rather, she had never questioned her own ability to say no. The realization of that fact had been uneasy.

"Tell me what you're thinking if you care to share?"

"I didn't know I could have a voice. I don't think he intended for me not to have one, I think he wanted reassurance for himself. It felt good to make the promise and to make him feel better. "

"You were in love and it sounds as if he was feeling vulnerable. You care deeply for those you love, Lady. However feeling uncomfortable with demands, even ones made by loved ones is entirely valid as a feeling."

"I think that is something we could have worked out given time. But he took a path I could not follow him down, so it became something of a moot point. I think it's why when Kalec spoke to me here I understood. I'd walked away from Arthas, hoping he would turn away from his path. He didn't."

"But _you_ have chosen differently."

Jaina nodded. "Kalec and I spoke a little about this. It has been hard not to look back on all his actions and wonder. Did I miss the signs? Could I have stopped his fall? Was I that blind? He made his own choices and I know it intellectually. The heart is harder to convince. I was able to come to terms with his choice before we marched on Icecrown, even if it still hurt. But this past year I have been questioning myself." She trailed off shaking her head.

"It sounds reasonable to have doubts. It was a great loss to you and you have recently lost again."

"And Arthas has been thrown in my face numerous times. All the ways in which he and I have become similar and that has hurt most of all. As if I should be ashamed for the choices of another? Or of the choices he made when he was the one who'd broken things off! Or even blamed!" She turned to look at Yu-len. "After I had drifted in shock for awhile, I actually felt relief he'd broken things off."

"What is it you're feeling right now?"

"Right now? Defiance. Maybe a little thrill to admit it out loud." A small laugh bubbled up. "After he broke it off, I was stunned. Everyone was stunned. I hurt. It hurt so badly. It turned me off from giving my heart to someone else for a very, very long time. But the strangest thing happened. No one approached me and I wasn't beholden to him anymore. I wasn't beholden to _anyone_. I felt... free. No one would touch me because of his shadow. I didn't want anyone, but I was suddenly outside of all the courtly games and intrigues and marriage proposals." She lifted her eyes heavenward. "I was no longer a prized broodmare. I'm certain they considered me to be despoiled but I was out of their grasp. I had my studies and my magic and I was _really_ damn good at it."

Jaina looked out over the water, trying to calm herself. A breeze carried the faint scent of the nearby swamp from inland before the wind turned again. Jaina bowed her head as she recounted. "Arthas and I tried to make a go of it again when we were older and supposedly wiser. It was... magical. I thought perhaps it was good we'd had time apart to become more mature people. I'd remained fond of him. But then he chose Frostmourne over me and I was marked a second time." She lifted her head. "And then I built a city." She smiled. "It was such a challenge and it felt good to build something when war had destroyed so much of my life. They made my cousin Lord Admiral because a woman cannot rule Kul Tiras."

"So you ruled the city you'd built."

Jaina grinned, showing her teeth briefly. "I did. The rest of the world hadn't been very kind but I had a space where I could create rather than destroy. Where I made the rules and the world I wanted to see for once. Where I had a voice and was mistress of my own fate." She bowed her head and grimaced. "And all it took was the Litch King."

"So you feel some some guilt?"

"Yes. And anger. Because why was it so damn hard for me to secure such a place? Why did I have to fight when it was handed to Varian and Arthas? I had to fight for what Arthas so blithely gave up!" She clenched her teeth in a silent snarl and looked skyward. "Men expect it. They are given it. I have had to fight. Or been prophesized," she said with an eye roll. "And Arthas just... Gave it all up! He killed a hundred thousand people! At least! Including his own people! The ones he was so intensely in love with." Jaina looked away, eyes stinging. 

"Let us talk through what you feel right now and sort it out?"

Jaina nodded mutely.

"There is some sadness because you were in love with this man. Sadness for his passing and for the tragedy he was involved in. Anger because he chose evil over you and over his people. Betrayal for those reasons."

Jaina nodded again. "Guilt because as much as it hurt at the time, I was freed from some of the social constructs around me. Anger at those same constructs that continually dismiss me."

"All very valid. And sadness for the loss of your own people. And, it think, the safe space you made for yourself."

"Yes," Jaina agreed, realizing it as truth. She rested her arms on her knees and sat thinking. "I haven't felt like I truly had a home until recently." She grimaced. "I was beginning to feel better then I was betrayed from within Dalaran."

"Which, I think, would make anyone question and feel unsteady and unhappy. You have had a great deal of upheaval. Not just in the past year."

Jaina let out a shaky breath. "It's daunting to try to recover. And I have lost it all before."

"Is it still worth trying to build?"

Jaina chewed her lip. "Some days I don't think so. Some days I am just... done. I want to teleport someplace else and let the world deal with it's own shit."

Instead of a glower or judgement the Pandaren woman laughed. "Another valid feeling, Lady. So why is it you keep going?"

"What else am I going to do?" Jaina quipped back.

"A woman with your power and talent? You could do any number of things, include telling the world to go take a long walk off a short cliff. So what is there that keeps you? Surely there must be good things."

"I have a duty. Others might shirk it, but I will not."

"As you feel Arthas did?"

Jaina grimaced. "Partially. If I might be frank and slightly crude, I was born to be backup heir and if that wasn't necessary, a brood mare for some lord's lineage. That didn't happen. But I listened when my father taught my brother and me about what a proper leader was supposed to do. What a proper ruler is supposed to do. It isn't incorrect. I have a responsibility."

"Having only responsibility does not seem like a very joyous life. Certainly there can be fulfillment in completing one's duty but if that is the only joy you cultivate you may find your garden suddenly barren should something happen."

Jaina smiled ruefully. "So I have experienced."

"Surely duty has not been your only joy, lady. What once made you smile? What did you have?"

Jaina sighed. "I had my civic duties. Seeing things accomplished was satisfying. I still have those. I used to have my studies. I haven't really had those since I lost my home. I used to pursue more diplomatic options. I have not had faith in diplomacy as of late." Jaina bowed her head. "I had a student. She was often impertinent but she was smart and kind and good. She could have such a sharp tongue, but she was equally willing consider logical counter arguments. She laughed all the time. Kinndy brought so much joy into my home. She was such a pleasure to teach."

"Have you thought about taking another student?"

Jaina nodded. "A great deal in the last few days specifically."

"Oh?"

"It is... Related to the situation with the dragons and with Kalec." She smiled. "He wants to teach. He has _so_ much knowledge."

"Are you prohibited from taking a student?"

"No. Not in general and not because of Kalec. I have been... busy. And not a good example. In any case I think I need time to figure myself out before I can take another apprentice. And to pay attention to Kalec and our relationship."

"Tell me a little about that. It seems to have been quite positive for you."

"The best part of the last year. There have been difficult moments," Jaina admitted, looking down. her hair swung into view and she touched it. "The anger kept us from being closer. The differences between our societies I think was a mutual fear. He was also struggling with his own troubles. He has now shared at least some of those with me."

She wrapped a while lock around one finger as she collected her thoughts. "We have each hidden from the other, but when we didn't, we were both better off. We're trying to share more now. He's becoming something like home."

Yu-len smiled. "That seems like quite a positive change for you from the past year. Tell me about what that means to you. What does him being home entail for you?"

"There's a level of comfort. It's a space where I don't have to be 'on'. No diplomatic masks, no leadership duties. I can be me."

"If I might point out, you seem to have not had such a space where you can be yourself in the past year. It is good you have found another. What else?"

"I suppose somewhat related, he has different views and expectations about my own abilities that other people do."

"Oh?"

"He considers me a mage first and foremost. Well, I suppose he sees that as my leading trait. Not my gender, not my political connections, not my physical appearance. That too has been a relief. It's different. He doesn't dismiss me. I don't know if it is because he is so much older, or if it is just him." She tilted her head in thought. "It could be the society he was raised in. Dragons have very little physical difference between their sexes. If anything the females might be slightly revered by the males. At least that is the impression I have." Jaina looked across the water. "He's rarely forceful and never without cause. He's safe. As strange as it might be. He's a dragon thousands of years old who has enough raw power to rip Dalaran from the sky on his own, yet I feel safe with him."

Yu-Len arched an eyebrow, impressed more than anything.

Jaina's lips quirked in a small smile. "And I suppose the fact that he is that powerful is not lost on some of the other mages of the city. That might be why they're afraid. They don't know him as a person who is kind and who respects magic the way I know him to be."

"A good thought to keep in mind when you are dealing with others. So, you have found a home. Is there some fear that if your people reject him, he might leave and take your home away again?"

"I suppose there is."

"Something I think perhaps you and your mate should discuss. I think you should also, together, consider constructive things you can both do to make the situation happier for him and also for you. They might be the same things, but they might not."

She nodded. "We spoke about a lot of things in that vein last night."

"Good! Continue to have those conversations with one another. Based on what you said before, it might also give you some of the outlets you used to have. Building and leadership duties?"

Jaina smiled. "And research." 

Yu-Len chuckled. "That is good. You are continuing to build your civil life into something pleasing, but do not so focus there that you neglect other areas of interest or other relationships.

Jaina nodded. That made a lot of sense.

The Pandaren woman stood and stretched, cracking her back. "I would like to see your lovely city one day, but I think this is the scenery you wanted."

"I grew up by the sea," Jaina said, rising.

"How long has it been since you were last home at your childhood home?"

"Years."

"Something else to consider looking at when you feel ready."

Jaina bowed her head. "I suppose it is. I have a lot to handle right now."

"Lots of good things. Lots of opportunity."

Jaina smiled. "Yes."

The returned back to the rise proper and Jaina bowed deeply to the healer. "Thank you."

"It is my honor and duty to heal, lady. I will see you in three days time."

"Dalaran this time?" Jaina asked, arching a wry eyebrow.

The healer winked. "I think so."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archmage Modera and Jaina have a long conversation about war, dragons and dealing with both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of timeline wibbly wobblyness with regards to WoD and the events there. If you haven't noticed, ignore me!
> 
> I've always felt Modera was an interesting character from the small bits we've seen of her in quest text. We don't know much about her other than she's part of the Council, a hero of the second war, and somewhat older. As I started writing her I really started to like her potential and there were some interesting topics to cover in a conversation between her and Jaina. Also, WoW needs more awesome ladies being awesome. So suddenly I have all this headcanon for her. Whoops?
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and continuing to read this fic! Getting close to the end of this story but I have some grand plans for what follows and side stories of what is going on in the world. I hope folks will find those interesting :)

Archmage Modera tapped her fingers on her staff as her afternoon class finished. These were some of the newer apprentices and only half of them could form a decent fireball. They'd shape up though. They had little choice. There would be another conflict, there always was, but this time... This time that ephemeral sixth sense was annoying her fiercely. She'd hoped it would have disappeared when Garrosh had been brought down but it hadn't. Then she'd expected it to go away once he'd been put on trial, but it had remained in the back of her head, quietly roiling and setting her on edge. And then Garrosh escaped and _still_ she felt like she needed to keep looking over her shoulder. After the initial invasion forces from the portal had been turned back, she'd hoped the feeling would _finally_ go away. It hadn't. Modera huffed out a breath.

Khadgar's expedition into the other Draenor was a remote conflict for now with spotty contact at best. They were only a few days into whatever mess they'd walked into. Modera imagined the Kirin Tor would be involved more directly once Archmages Khadgar and Archmage Zaliya, the Alliance champion chosen to accompany him, and the rest of the expedition established a beachhead. She tried to put her unease aside and focus on what she could see _now_.

"Okay you lot, that's enough for today," she called. The class sighed gratefully and dispersed. Modera watched them all shuffle out, taking note of who still had energy and who did not. Her mind had not been on the class, nor had it been entirely on the foreboding she felt or the alternate Draenor and her imminent tasks there. Modera had also been ruminating on the confrontation she'd heard that Proudmoore had with Finch over Kalecgos taking up duties around the city. 

Supposedly the dragon had started this morning. She'd had four mages in her office before noon to protest the "security breach". Finch had lodged a protest the previous day but it had been withdrawn after he'd spoken with Proudmoore. She'd gotten to hear an ear full from the archmage twice, once before the meeting and once after. He'd been a bit more resigned to the prospect in the second meeting.

Modera tapped her fingers against her staff again then pushed away from the wall. A proper stalk through the hallways sent the apprentices scattering and cleared the way. Truthfully she wasn't on the warpath, but it really was a damn useful tool when trying to get around sometimes.

The mages of Dalaran had seen a lot in her lifetime, so she wasn't surprised they were somewhat jumpy about another change in the routine. The Nexus War, the Cataclysm, the conflict on Thunder Isle and all of the shit Garrosh Hellscream had brought to the world; the theft of the Divine Bell and the purge of Horde mages. And these were only the most recent incidents! Before then it had been Arthas and the fall of Lordaeron and the Second War. She'd been such a youngster then. Modera shook her head, dismissing her woolgathering.

As much as she agreed there were sincere and serious security concerns with the Sunreavers, Modera was beginning to feel the loss of the magepower in the city was a potential weakness. Internal fighting- _more_ internal infighting and arguments were a liability when they were already vulnerable. Her Arcane senses told her something was still on the horizon and she'd learned the hard way to listen to it.

Modera quickly made her way through the city, leaving the training areas and heading for the top of the Violet Citadel. She tried to looked less "scary" and more "determined" as she walked through the streets. While a scowl was good to make the apprentices scatter, she realized she didn't want to potentially add to the idea that there was internal division. At least not to the general public. Modera wanted to speak to Proudmoore, not start more rumors.

She liked Archmage Proudmoore, she really did. The younger woman was smart, competent and one hell of a city leader. She'd liked Rhonin quite well, but Modera had to admit she liked Jaina's leadership style better in some ways. Not the part where she might disappear for a tryst with her lover, but that she expected the others to take up actual management tasks related to the day to day running of the city. With the other council members (finally) pulling their fair share, Proudmoore could have some blasted personal time so she didn't _need_ to sneak off to bed the dragon, pretty as his humanoid form might have been.

Kalecgos was another story. Modera did not have enough information to decide if she liked him or not yet. That he could admit he could not properly care for the Focusing Iris was a point in his favor. That he had spoken against Malygos was another. That he was willing to step in and pick up some of the slack left by Khadgar's departure and Jaina's recovery didn't hurt either. But he was a dragon and a _blue_ dragon at that.

Modera had lost lifelong friends to Malygos's war; men and women who'd lived through everything else Azeroth had thrown at them. And a few, a very few, had sided with the mad Aspect in exchange for promised access to magic. She'd had to kill some of those people. A few were held in the Hold. The ones who lived were friends no longer. 

The blue dragons she'd interfaced with during the Cataclysm had been full of themselves. Proud and haughty creatures, almost to a dragon. And while they were undeniably powerful, they were far too fancy in their spellcasting for Modera's taste. They seemed to miss very basic things for beings who supposedly wished to control and monitor the magic in the world, and who complained about the excesses of the "lesser" races.

Few had shown remorse for the war. Or at least, less remorse than she would have preferred. And despite how their new Aspect acted, the largely isolationist blue dragons had shown little but disdain for the champions who'd put their lives on the line to defeat Deathwing. Perhaps it was uncharitable, but if she'd been Aspect, she'd have knocked some heads together rather than have her people insult allies. Maybe that was another reason why she was having a hard time with him.

Kalecgos was also a distraction to Proudmoore. Modera didn't know what the dragon wanted from Jaina, but Modera was sure it was something. Jaina had lost everything and was in a vulnerable place, so Modera had kept an eye out on his comings and goings. Jaina had done a lot to care for the people in her charge, throwing herself into Dalaran's management (sneaking off to mount the dragon aside), and adopting the city as hers once more. Someone needed to keep an eye out for her.

A quick check into Proudmoore's office revealed she was gone for the day according to the apprentice assigned to play secretary. Proudmoore was always an early riser but given everything that had happened, Modera wasn't surprised she'd already retired. Well, a walk all the way up the steps had been good for her anyway. Modera thanked the apprentice and made the short trek to where Jaina lived.

The distance Jaina and Kalecgos had put between one another prior to the expedition to Pandaria had been a relief to Modera. She'd been quite pleased when Proudmoore hadn't called him in to support their efforts on Thunder Isle - even if the additional firepower would have been nice. 

The flap of great wings, the flash of blue scales, or a winged shadow from above still sometimes brought a thrill of fear when she wasn't expecting it. Archmage Zaliya was bad enough since she could use that blasted staff of hers to wear the appearance of a dragon. The damned winged mounts they'd picked up on Thunder Isle hadn't helped either.

Modera ascended to the archmage's landing in her residence tower. Jaina had been given large quarters as befitted her station and rank within the Kirin Tor, but Modera had only been there once before. She pressed the crystal at the door, breaking the magical circuit and causing a small musical chime to announce her presence. There was enough of a pause Modera had the brief thought perhaps she might be interrupting something she did not wish to see, but then the door opened.

"Modera?" Proudmoore frowned. "Is something wrong?" Her hair was slightly mussed but she had the sleepy look of someone woken from a nap rather than having been ravished. 

"Not wrong. Wanted to see if we could have a chat." While Modera was relieved she hadn't walked in on Jaina and her lover, she felt badly for having woken the archmage up; Jaina was far too pale and drawn. Still they needed to talk.

"I see." Jaina stepped aside, expression closing off into diplomatic neutrality.

Modera grimaced. "I'm not here to start a fight."

Jaina relaxed a fraction and gestured for Modera to enter her home. Modera inclined her head and did so, resting her staff on the rack by the door.

What struck Modera most about the apartment was how utterly impersonal it was even a year later. The rooms were not spartan, but everything matched as if it had all been made from the same source. There were few personal touches. Modera had expected to see the accumulated books, items and knick-knacks most mages seemed to acquire. Some of the furniture should have shown more wear and tear than others. The uniformity was noticeable. There was a small ink portrait of Prince Anduin and Jaina in heavy Winter Veil garb, but it was recent and there was something sad about her smile in the picture.

Of course. Everything Jaina had owned had been turned to ash and rubble.

"Tea?" Jaina offered, her eyes still guarded.

"That'd be lovely," Modera said, smiling a little to try to get the other mage to relax as much as to hide the sudden sadness and pity she felt. Everyone knew what had happened to Theramore and to Jaina, but seeing it like this made the tragedy all the more apparent somehow. Modera hadn't thought something like Theramore would be easy to forget, but it was. For her, everyday wasn't a reminder of all that had been lost.

"Do you mind if I brew rather than conjure?" Jaina asked, gesturing for Modera to follow.

"Not at all," Modera said, trailing behind the younger woman. "Still feeling low?"

"Yes, but I prefer the taste brewed." She shook her head. "I've a few pandaren blends I haven't managed to figure the trick of conjuring either."

They ended up in the kitchen. The room was fairly standard as far as apartments in Dalaran went, if a little larger. A cozy looking breakfast nook to one side likely caught the morning light. Here there was a little more personality; a few books stacked to one side for morning reading perhaps. Jars of teas and dried goods were neatly arranged to one side for easy access and showed regular use.

Jaina set a kettle on the small stove to boil then used a spell to start the heating coils. The china she withdrew from a cabinet, though clearly used often, was as impersonal as the other furnishings of the apartment. Modera wondered, with no little alarm, if the archmage's personal library or her lab were in the same state. Even as the thought occurred to her, Modera knew that at least her personal library had to be. Ash, rubble and violet sand.

Taking a seat in the nook, Jaina gestured to the seat across from her. She held herself in the same way Modera had seen in generals and kings in formal settings. While she did not swagger, she never-the-less was still in quietly in charge of this audience. Her eyes were tired but her head was unbowed. In another life, a very different one for them both, she'd have been Modera's queen. Modera found she didn't mind that thought. Modera sat, her own posture far more of a slouch, an intentional slight aimed at relatives and governesses long dead.

"I heard you got into it with Finch over Kalecgos being put into the rotations."

Jaina's expression didn't move fraction. "Kalec has offered to assist in the city tasks and since we gave him the title of Archmage I don't see why we shouldn't expect him to fulfill civic duties as well. I reminded Finch that Kalec was to do things our way in our city and it was his job to teach new Archmages the proper way we did things here." Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly and there was the barest hint of tired dread as she asked, "Why?"

"He submitted a report about a potential security breach. He withdrew it after he spoke with you. I still had four complaints on my desk this morning."

Jaina scowled, grimaced, then took a deep breath in then out, back straightening. The pose was clearly meditative and Modera tilted her head in silent question as the other woman settled.

"If you would, please inform those that have left messages that Kalec was granted the title of archmage by the Council. He is fulfilling his civic duties exactly as all other archmages are and in the same manner." It wasn't a request at all, though it had been phrased as one. Polite. Firm. Expecting it would be followed. Guarded.

"Of course," Modera said, inclining her head. "But it brings up an issue, or rather a related set of issues I have been mulling over." Modera sat back and crossed her legs at the knee, intentionally trying to add a more casual element to the meeting. Proudmoore might have been born to be a queen, but she could be quite informal if one could get her to dismiss the cool diplomatic mask. It was something Rhonin and Jaina shared that Modera liked. Modera wanted to talk to that person, not the formal leader of the Kirin Tor, already on the defense.

Jaina eyed her with suspicion and rose to handle the whistling tea kettle. "Go on."

"We're under strength," Modera said. "I agree we did what we needed to do in regards to the Sunreavers, but it does mean that we're down considerable resources in terms of raw power as well as bodies. Aside from the issue with the Horde, we had losses due to the conflicts and wars before then, too."

Jaina's eyes remained focused on the tea and preparing a small tray, "It isn't just mage power," she said, her voice quiet. "The economy of the city has been impacted as well."

"The economy?"

"Consider that during the campaign to icecrown, as serious as it was, Dalaran became a boomtown."

Modera frowned. It was true. And then they had been a hub of activity again when the blue flight had gone to war. And they were the nearest city to Wyrmrest which had hosted the bulk of the planning against Deathwing. "Is it bad?"

"Not bad but it does have an effect. I've been following the plans Rhonin and the other logistical heads drew up after Icecrown. Ways for us to adjust and step away from wartime preparation and back into normal city operations. They had to ramp up imports again when the Cataclysm hit and the plans were put on hold once more. I didn't need us to be quite so militaristic here when we were in Pandaria so I've been continuing what Rhonin started. However, the sudden shift in population has had an effect. The wartime years lined our pockets but displaced some of the families and other non-combatant citizenry. Until we start building up our civilian population again we'll be a bit empty."

"Fewer people, fewer resources needed, but it sounds like we have the money to make sure things continue to be done."

Jaina nodded and set the tray with two teacups on the table. She'd included a bowl of sugar cubes, a jar of honey, and a pot of creme. "The concern I have is that we won't get the civilian populations back and our depopulation will become noticeable to the point where people avoid moving here. If that happens we'll have problems."

Modera nodded. "Khadgar's trip is likely going to siphon off more mage power like Thunder Isle did."

Jaina nodded. She frowned in thought, something sad in her eyes, but her attention was focused, not listless. That was good.

"Will you be going to join Khadgar?" Modera asked. Proudmoore had acquitted herself well enough on Thunder Isle.

Jaina looked up, apparently surprised out of her internal thoughts. "No," Jaina said, shaking her head. "I might go if I am absolutely needed but this is Khadgar's expedition and I do not think it would be wise for me to continue the hunt for Garrosh."

"Not wise? Archmage, not only are you one of the most powerful mages on the planet, what he did personally to you was-"

"I know!" Jaina snapped. She did the little meditative ritual again. Modera shut up and let her, more out of surprise than anything else. Proudmoore had been sharp but she hadn't often been snappish with peers.

"I know," Jaina said in a more reasonable tone. "I- It- Garrosh-" She took another moment to collect her thoughts. "Khadgar is a fine mage and me going would possibly undermine him. I would rather we look united given all that has happened." Modera was about to use that to segue back into her original topic, but Jaina continued. "If I go, I will lose myself. My healer agrees. If I go, he will just hurt me more."

Modera tilted her head. "Lose yourself? What do you mean your healer agrees? The one you're seeing in Pandaria? Wasn't that for the fight at the temple?" What was she talking about?  
.  
Jaina toyed with her teacup, clearly trying to decide what to say. Jaina was many things, but an idiot was not one of them. Modera had often found she had good insights and a keen understanding of magical practice and theory. She had the most unfortunate taste in romantic partners in all of Azeroth, but it wasn't so bad as character flaws went. The dragon, at least, appeared to be disinclined to mass murder and genocide. Modera sipped her tea and gave the younger mage some space. 

"This is personal matter of my health and I would appreciate your discretion," Jaina said eventually. 

"Of course." Modera nodded.

"The Pandaren healer I have been seeing has been helping me recover. Not anything physical from the trial, but... All the rest from the last year." She bit her lower lip in a nervous gesture. Modera was surprised Proudmoore had let that much show. It spoke volumes to how candid she was being. Or perhaps how unsettled and tired she actually was.

"She said that she saw in me the same sort of emotional injuries their warriors have sometimes. The danger is gone but they cannot stop being hyper-aware, or being angry, or just..." She trailed off with a shake of her head. "Between what happened in Theramore and with the Divine Bell, I have not been myself. My anger was justified. I still think what I did to protect Dalaran was correct. But I have been unable to... leave the feelings behind. At least on my own. And I am finally making some progress." The archmage winced. "That probably makes no sense."

Modera found herself feeling both a jolt of recognition and a shameful twinge. "You expect that whatever bad events might happen will. You are absolutely certain that if only you had been better, you might have saved your teammates, your compatriots, that next village, and it keeps you up at night. Sometimes you want nothing more than to sleep forever and leave everything behind. Other times your heart burns and you just want to laugh as you set the rest of the world on fire."

Jaina's eyes snapped up to hers, wide and blue and _young_. The Archmage looked as hopeful as she was surprised. In a flash of insight a number of things resolved into clarity for Modera.

Modera hadn't realized, hadn't recognized, the seething hatred. She'd had her own inferno to fight down as she had fought it down so many times before. But perhaps Archmage Proudmoore _didn't know how to fight it_. She'd hidden it away; she was a diplomat after all and used to wearing masks. Garrosh had fanned it to full flame once more and the result had been her fury during the purge. Modera hadn't noticed. At the time she had personally wanted to flay Garrosh Hellscream, too. 

She still did, truthfully. 

Maybe the shortness and temper over the last year hadn't been entirely about trying to fit in to Dalaran's leadership structure. Maybe some of the kindred sense Modera had felt wasn't because Jaina was gruff, direct and action oriented. She'd been slowly smouldering and Modera hadn't recognized there was even a problem. At least not consciously.

"You've felt like this?" Jaina asked, hesitantly, hopefully. 

Modera frowned. "This conversation needs to happen over alcohol."

Jaina twisted her fingers and murmured a spell. _Stars and stones she's good_ , Modera thought as a bottle of very nice dark spiced rum appeared with two glasses. There was hardly any wasted magical energy and it had taken her barely a thought to gather what she needed and send it spinning into the aether. 

Modera abruptly had the desire to get her into the training salle and see what she could _do_. She'd been a back line combatant at Thunder Isle and at the Siege, but that was a far cry from really letting loose on the enemy. Modera had been told Jaina had an army of water elementals at her command when she'd turned from drowning Orgrimmar to save the Alliance fleet. She'd had the Focusing Iris, but it was a fulcrum; control came from the mage wielding it.

Modera also wanted to teach her better defenses while spellcasting. Antonidas had been a great mage, but he wasn't a _warcaster_. She'd finally gotten some details of what had actually happened at the trial. Taking a sniper's shot to the chest was a rookie mistake. Modera remembered old friends who made that mistake with a familiar pang though they were decades gone. 

The difference in their training was also likely why Jaina didn't have the ability to deal with the shaky, dark feelings after combat; at heart she was an academic and they didn't write books about the ugly truth of what happened after battle when all you could smell was burned flesh, the sewage scent of death and the charged, sharp static of arcane energy.

There wasn't formal training to handle the screams of the dying, the feelings after hearing a life end mid-shout, the helplessness as someone you knew died despite their great power or your own. At least not in Dalaran or in the Alliance.

In Pandaria it seemed to be a different story.

Modera poured for both of them, shot back her first pour then refilled her glass. She contemplated it as Jaina sipped the dark liquid. "Word is you saved King Wrynn with a fireball then got taken out by a sniper," Modera stated.

Jaina nodded, grimacing. "I was preparing another fireball, a bigger one. The Dragonmaw leader was my target," Jaina stated, her voice heated with restrained fury. "After what Alexstrasza said they did to her..." She shook herself all over then took a deep breath then let it out slowly, rolling her shoulders back in that same meditative ritual. "I didn't even see the sniper," Jaina concluded more calmly a moment later.

"Rookie battlemage mistake," Modera observed, giving voice to her thoughts. Jaina scowled and Modera held up a hand. "That has less to do with you and more to do with me and the other battle casters. We know what to look for, when to strike, and how to stay aware of the battlefield. You didn't have our training and why should you? You've avoided wars and combat when you could, and you'd acquitted yourself well when you'd been caught in battle. But we didn't share our training and we should have."

Jaina closed her mouth and the frown eased. "It isn't what I was trained to do," she agreed, quietly. "I'd have said I was getting along just fine but," she trailed off and touched her chest where the small white scar was all that remained of the bullet that had ended her life.

"I am just realizing that. I think I assumed you knew all the things I did. You have a reputation for utter and total competence, you know?" Modera's lips twisted into a small smile before she sobered once more.

"I know you've seen conflict and battle before, I was with you in Thunder Isle, but I forgot you're not _trained_ to it." Modera leaned back in her chair, one arm over the back, the other holding the tumbler of rum. "Not the actual fight. And not what comes after."

Modera sipped her drink. The glass clacked dully on the wooden table top as she set it down again. "When I was an apprentice, my master made me talk over every fight with him afterwards. Even if I didn't want to. _Especially_ if I didn't want to do it. He was a bastard, but he was right."

Modera's eyes met Jaina's. "Hard thing to leave the battlefield behind you. Bigger the battle, the more personal the loss, the harder it is. In the beginning I had my master and my team to... exorcise the things I've seen. The things I've done." Her eyes narrowed. "Like you, I wouldn't take any one of them back, but I acknowledge that war is..." she trailed off waving a hand generally to encompass everything. Proudmoore seemed to get it and nodded.

"So the Pandaren turned getting your inner demons out into a science? They'd know how with the Sha, wouldn't they," Modera mused. She was rambling, but Jaina didn't seem to care or mind; She'd actually relaxed.

Jaina nodded. "Apparently it's an entire field of healing on its own in Pandaria."

Modera had done wrong though unintentionally, and she'd found it was often best to confront things head-on. "I'm sorry I didn't try to reach out to help. It... Archmage you're a damned good diplomat. I didn't even _notice_ it was something you were dealing with. I never made the connection between the bloody long battles I've seen and what's happened to you over the last year."

She swore and sat back as another thought occurred to her. "You might not be the only one. We had a lot of older mages engaged in the wars who aren't used to even as much combat as you've seen, Archmage." Modera tipped her head back and swallowed the rest of the glass. She set it down and poured again. "They might be just as good at hiding as you are. Some of the younger ones, too. probably." Modera shook her head. "I never noticed. Damn."

"One thing that has been made abundantly clear to me over the past few days is that being hard on yourself all the time isn't healthy," Jaina said ruefully. "You didn't know. It isn't as if I was here much for you to have a comparison of what I was like...." She took a quick moment. "What I was like before my people were killed." Her tone was quiet but strong.

Modera grunted. There had been some quiet whispers and sniping that 'Jaina wasn't as nice since that Theramore thing', but Modera had dismissed the gossip. No one was nice all the time as the rumors had claimed Jaina was- Had been. If other people had noticed a change of some sort, maybe she should have given the words more weight and maybe she'd have seen what she saw now; pain and struggle. 

"I suppose," Modera said. "But the point of Dalaran, at least as I see it, is for mages to stick together and help one another. It's why the damned city was founded, after all. We needed a place where we were safe to practice and live. I'm one of the seniormost battlemages in the city, Jaina, and I am on the Council. This field and everything related to it is supposed to be my area of expertise. I won't dwell on it, Archmage, but I _will_ address it now I know where to look. Nothing to do but move on and fix what might be broken." She tapped her forefinger against the table to emphasize her point.

Jaina snorted sardonically. "That. That right there is what I would wish to have. The easy ability to move on." It was a surprisingly candid admission.

"Oh, it isn't easy," Modera said, equally candid. "It's more about cussed stubbornness than anything. You decide and you keep deciding. You fake it until it's true. Doesn't always work," she growled. "But it's the tool I had."

"How widespread do you think that sort of tool is?" Jaina asked. "Are there other warcasters who might have insight on how to handle what happens after combat?"

Modera shrugged, looking off into the distance. "It's... We all learned it from fighting with the armies. From being soldiers. From older soldiers who'd managed to live. It's not formal. It's just... Dealing." She shook her head. "The older hands might know it, but they might not and I'm not going to assume anything anymore. Maybe it should be formalized before the current crop of apprentices see whatever the next conflict is." Modera frowned and wondered if she should voice the foreboding that had been growing in her heart.

"Do you have the time to look into this? See if it is an issue?" Jaina asked. "We may be able to offer an exchange to the Shado-Pan. Additional magical support in exchange for care for our people there as well as here in Dalaran. We may have to give up some of the items we recovered from Thunder Isle, but it would be worth it for the people here."

"I'll damn well make time. Khadgar knows where to find me if he needs more firepower, but I can't abandon my duties here entirely." Modera said. "I've seen what happens when a soldier can't leave the battlefield behind. When it's a mage? Not pretty."

Jaina's smile was rueful. "I believe I have personal experience with that." She sipped her drink.

Modera waved a hand. "You didn't see yourself that day, Jaina. I haven't seen someone leaking power like that in a lot time. It was absolutely affecting you as much as everything else was."

"It isn't a good excuse."

"You didn't drown Orgrimmar."

"Kalec talked me out of it."

Modera grimaced. "And there is an issue I am still dealing with. Dragons. The blue flight. I wasn't terribly happy to hear he would be helping with our greater workings, but at the same time, we could use the extra muscle right now." 

"He's probably more powerful than half the council all on his own." Jaina frowned. "I'm going to need about a week before I'm back at my full strength, but I'll need at least another day to recover enough to help again. I'd rather not step into my usual rotations until I hit my full strength and feel a bit better. Call it another four days? He'll be covering for me and Khadgar, then I intend to have him added to the roster."

Modera looked up with a low whistle.

Jaina nodded. "He's... powerful. It's a bit daunting sometimes."

"I knew that. He's the former Aspect of Magic and a few thousand years old after all. No, I was impressed with you. How deep is your mana pool that you need more than a _week_ to recover."

Jaina tilted her head, eyebrows drawing together. "Antonidas was the same way. Kael. Magna Aegwynn. Khadgar, I think. Tervosh didn't need quite as long, but it was the better part of a week for him. I'm hardly unusual."

Modera snorted. "Consider the company you have listed yourself among, Jaina. Most Magi are fairly well recovered with an afternoon nap and a sandwich. Our archmages here might take a few days, the senior ones a day or so more than that. Some of the older elves can take a week, but they're few and far between. Trust me, here in Dalaran you're in rarified company if your wellsping is that deep."

Jaina frowned. "Truly?"

"You never noticed?"

She shook her head. "I was a student the last time I lived in Dalaran. I haven't been around many other mages in the intervening years, and the ones I was around, well, I just listed them," she trailed off.

"Rarified company," Modera repeated, with a shake of her head. "Khadgar's well is deep. I'm not shallow but I don't have the absolute muscle he has. Rhonin was on the upper end of average for a human, but he was one of the most _efficient_ casters I've had the pleasure to work with. I never saw the end of Krasus' mana pool but I didn't count on him being the King of the Red Flight." Modera frowned at that thought.

"What?"

"Krasus was a red dragon. Damn fine mage, but magic isn't what the _reds_ are known for." She eyed Jaina. "Makes me wonder how deep Kalecgos's mana pool is."

"Deep," Jaina confirmed solemnly. "We built a hearthstone for Anduin yesterday. I caught a glimpse in the joint working. It was..." She shivered a little and from the light blush Modera knew it wasn't from fear. Jaina changed the topic entirely and Modera found herself smirking just a little. "Anyway, yes, I've had words with Finch. I got the impression it was less about the 'security risk' of a dragon and more feelings of pride."

"Pride?"

Jaina nodded, her brows furrowed thoughtfully. "My guess is that he did not appreciate the attitudes of some of the dragons he interacted with during the Cataclysm."

Modera snorted. "There was a lot of that going around. Still going around."

"Be that as it may, this is our city and our rules. Kalec was inducted as an archmage so he's bound by those same rules and practices as anyone else. Those rules were breached and the Council decided the appropriate action was to expel the Sunreavers." Her eyes met Modera's. "I do not expect it would happen, but if he should break our rules, then he would be subject to the same penalties up to and including what we did with the Sunreavers."

Modera bit back a kneejerk reply then nodded. "Fine. I suppose I can accept that."

"Thank you." Jaina inclined her head.

"But he isn't the only one who needs to follow rules. Starting next week I want to get you in my classroom for evaluation and training. You're going to be seeing combat again at some point. I want you to know how to really move and defend."

"Modera-"

She slashed a hand through the air as she cut her off. "No. Non-negotiable. Ansirem did them too when I found out he didn't know how to get out of the way of a returning fireball. Rhonin took refresher courses whether he needed them or not. Next time there will not be an Eternal to save your life, Jaina. This is my job, please let me do it."

Jaina bowed her head. "I suppose that's fair."

"We'll find the gaps in your knowledge and arm you with better knowhow," Modera said, shooting her a fierce grin. Phrasing it as new knowledge and Academic mages typically found the subject of war-casting far more interesting than they would otherwise, but Jaina knew firsthand the importance of what Modera could teach. The younger mage nodded firmly in agreement.

"What does your dragon know about offensive spellcasting?" Modera asked, surprising herself as well as Jaina.

"I get the impression he's not done too much, actually. At least not recently. Kalec is a dragon of peace."

Which was a fine thing to say, but they lived in dangerous times. Jaina was a mage of peace and she'd bound a tidal wave's worth of water elementals to her will. The situation had been extraordinary but now Modera knew she could do it- it was a weapon in Dalaran's collective arsenal. Great powers could go mighty things. And terrible ones.

"Probably knows how to make the most absurdly inefficient fireball ever devised by a thousand years of draconic theorycraft." Modera snorted and tapped her fingers against the glass. "Well, then I'll want to see what he can do, too. If he's going to be living here then I want to know the trouble he could cause and the trouble he could _stop_."

Jaina inclined her head. "I concede the point."

"Good! That brings me back to my-" Modera paused as the front door opened. _Speak of the demon,"_ she thought to herself.

Kalecgos had returned and was speaking animatedly to someone, the words muffled. A second voice, male, replied to a question and Modera was stunned to hear Archmage Finch reply in the same animated tone. The two rounded the corner, Finch munching on some sort of pastry as Kalec replied over his shoulder. The dragon was carrying two large bakery boxes.

"It really only works as well as it does because the Nexus was already sitting on a confluence of ley lines and, this is my theory mind you, it has either generated or attracted an intellectus," Kalec said.

Finch had been about to bite into his pastry again, but stopped to comment. "Given the age and weight of the place I can see that happening but such spirits are notoriously reclusive."

"Which is why it's a theory. I sensed something when I held the Mantle but I very politely didn't directly engage and the- oh, hello." Kalec blinked owlishly at Modera, his expression suddenly wary. His eyes found Jaina and he relaxed as she smiled at him

Jaina rose from her seat, to greet him. She shot Modera a look. Her expression was outwardly neutral but her eyes were pure defiance. Jaina turned her attention to Kalec and the tight defiant eased. "Hello, Love." She leaned up on her toes to kiss him. "Finch," she greeted pleasantly.

"Archmage," Finch said around his pastry, apparently not at all phased by her kissing the dragon in front of them.

Kalec's entire demeanor relaxed and softened around Proudmoore. He set the boxes on the countertop of the central island and opened one as he spoke. "We stopped for a late lunch after we finished today's tasks and got to talking about the wards on the Nexus." He pulled out four cupcakes and set them on the counter before closing the box again. He grinned at her somehow managing to look both naughty and sweet."I promised I'd leave you some cupcakes."

Jaina laughed at what was clearly some private joke between them, the worry and weight of Dalaran fading away. The dragon too seemed to light up as she laughed. They leaned towards one another, not dismissing the others present but far more intent on each other.

"Is this what you had for lunch?"

"No, but they looked delicious as we walked by. I thought to leave a few for you as a surprise before heading to your office." He smiled brilliantly. "Algus and I were going to take a quick trip to Coldarra. I wanted to consult with him about some maintenance improvements I might be able to make to the wards there."

"Oh?" Jaina's eyebrows raced for her hairline. 

Kalec nodded, his excitement an almost physical thing. "We finished up the tasks for today and Algus was telling me about the genesis of the wards you have here."

"And I asked about Coldarra. Curious you know," Finch added. He looked over at Modera. "I mean we're all a bit curious what's inside."

"And we got to talking and some of it is just easier to understand if you see it. Wards aren't my specialty, but Algus knows an incredible amount about keeping huge workings running efficiently."

"I thought it sounded like a brilliant idea. The Nexus wards are incredibly strong and there might be something we could use here as well since it seems the original genesis was quite similar!" Finch enthused before taking another bite of his pastry.

"I should be home for a late dinner if you don't mind?" Kalec's eyes widened just a bit and he glanced in Modera's direction before focusing on Jaina.

Jaina's smile and eyes were soft. She touched his wrist. "Go have fun. I look forward to hearing about it when you come home." There was the slightest emphasis on the word 'home' in her gentle tone. The boyish smile returned to the dragon's face. If anything he was even happier. He swooped in for a short, heated kiss Jaina seemed not to have been expecting. She made a little startled noise and had to steady herself with a hand on his arm. She laughed when it was over.

"Do you want me to remind you to come home?" she asked seriously.

"I have to be back in Dalaran at least an hour after sundown or there will be hell to pay at home," Finch added. "So I would appreciate some warning if you don't see hide nor hair of us, Archmage."

"I'll see to it then," Jaina laughed and inclined her head. She leaned up to kiss Kalec again then made a shooing motion with her hands. "Go on."

"Do you want to come with us?" he asked, looking at Modera as well to include her in the invitation.

Jaina looked as if she might agree, there was a gleam in her eye that all the more academic mages got when presented with shiny new research, but then she shook her head. "I have some things to do here. You two go. I'll probably just fall asleep again anyway. Next time."

Kalec's expression fell into concern and she lightly pushed his chest. "I'll be fine with a nap. You should get going before it gets any later."

Kalec nodded and picked up the top of the two boxes. "I'll see you for dinner then." He nodded politely to Modera as he said his farewell and then the two resumed their conversation as they left.

Jaina watched after for a moment then offered Modera one of the cupcakes that had been left out. Modera accepted it mutely and wondering at the rapid change in attitude. Jaina sat down across from her and began to pick apart the dessert. Modera did the same, both finishing the last of the rum they had poured.

"That was... Interesting. They seem to have resolved their issues."

Jaina's smile was just two shades from being smug. "I had hoped given a chance more people would see him as I do. I'm pleasantly surprised how quickly Finch seems to have given him a chance." Jaina fixed her with a penetrating look. "You might find he's a genuinely nice person too."

Modera inclined her head. "I am willing to accept that perhaps I have not been as charitable as I could have been."

"Would you try? If not as a personal favor as a tactical maneuver. He's a powerful mage and you've just brought up how badly understrength we are."

"I would not do for us to appear divided," Modera mused, realized that perhaps she had been guilty of it as much as anyone else had been. She inclined her head. "I will try."

"Thank you."

"When do you feel you'd be up for some training?"

"Next week at the earliest."

"We'll start then. I'll be asking Kalec to do the same as well, but I think I'll let Finch have him for a few days," she added, lips twisting into a smirk. Proudmoore laughed quietly.

"I'll make inquiries with the Shado-pan healer I have been working with, if you'll look into things on your end."

"That'd be good. I'll get out of your hair then, Archmage," Modera said, rising. Jaina followed her to the door. Modera picked up her staff and paused before leaving. "There is one other thing."

"Oh?"

"It's just a bad feeling I can't shake."

Several emotions flickered across Jaina's face, chief among them were worry and fear but there was also a determination in the lift of her chin. "A premonition?"

Modera shook her head. "No. I've never had any talent in that area. Just a gut feeling something is on the horizon. It's probably just me being cynical."

"If you really thought that, you wouldn't have said anything," Jaina pointed out. "Kinndy was rather talented in this area. Her last bad feeling happened shortly before she was killed."

Modera let out a puff of air and nodded. "It isn't anything to worry over immediately. If I might share some of what I have learned, it's that you can't spend much time being anxious about stuff like this. It'll wear you down and then you won't be able to address the actual crisis."

Jaina did the little meditative routine and nodded. "I trust your judgement, Modera. Please let me know if something changes."

Modera nodded. "I don't want to add to the pile, but you're right. It's something large enough to bother me." She hefted her staff. "We'll face it down."

"We will," Jaina agreed. "Goodnight."

Modera left at a ground-eating stroll, heading for her own quarters. The conversation had not gone as expected, but it had gone better than she'd thought it might. While the nagging feeling in the back of her mind hadn't eased, she certainly felt better for all the things they had discussed. Tomorrow was another day of challenges and while some of those things would eventually try to kill her, probably, she felt a small measure of hope.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kalec begins to build his place in Dalaran with the other Mages. Also comfort and fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the hits and kudos and comments :D seriously these things make my day.  
> Work has been stupidly busy, so short bit this time but I should have another update sooner. This seemed like a good break point.

Kalec twisted the weaves of magic and opened a portal into Coldarra. Archmage Finch looked around with interest as he stepped onto newfallen snow. Kalec followed and the portal closed behind them. Snow fell in fat flakes around them. He took a breath of crisp, familiar air. After everything, Coldarra was still a part of him. It was still home. But maybe it wasn't his only home anymore.

"We're behind the wards?"

"The first layer is fairly easy to teleport past if you know the key. That was by design. We can lock it down further if we need to do so," Kalec explained.

"Dalaran has a similar system," Finch said as he looked around. "The confluence of leylines here is... Remarkable."

Kalec nodded, though it wasn't the word he would have used. He shrugged noncommittally then began to walk down the sloping path towards the entrance to the Nexus.

"You don't agree?"

"I do and I don't," he explained. The wind through the cracked earth and their boots crunching in the snow were the only sounds. "This place had a large number of leylines already, but Malygos forced more through here."

"You disagreed with that decision?"

"It seemed... Ill advised to move so many of them so quickly and I didn't feel they needed to be moved at all, so no, I did not agree. When I held the Mantle it felt... Itchy. Like a twisted scale between your flight shoulders you can't quite reach."

"An itch you cannot scratch?"

"Yes," Kalec agreed. "It's less now that I don't have the Mantle of Aspect but I can still feel it. I think the leylines will resume their natural paths eventually." Without the rest of his flight, he didn't trust himself to move them alone. He could train mages from Dalaran to assist but it might be for the best if he let them slide into whatever new flows they wished to take.

"Interesting. How many were added?"

"A few of what we considered major flows. Ten in total I think, which added to the nearly thirty which already flowed here. A few dozen of the more minor ones. Hundreds of the smaller flows. Those Malygos was holding into confluences himself. When he died they spread out again and it was generally decided to let them return. I was able to move a many of the minor and three of the major ones back, but it wasn't a high priority. I did it as more of an exercise to see my own limits. The fight against Deathwing was more important."

They arrived at the entrance of the Nexus proper and Kalec waved down the empowered barrier. "I've been the lone dragon maintaining these but the casters among the kin have been doing their regular upkeep," he said nodding in the general direction of a pair of the bipedal dragonkin in the distance. "So I've had to do some simplification."

"That cannot have been easy."

Kalec shrugged. "It needed to be done. Several of the older structures I felt it best to unravel. The underlying network seems to be solid. Some of the additional barriers were put in place because of Malygos's war. A lot of them were already unravelling." Kalec chuckled. "A few weren't ever the same after Jaina was done with them."

"Archmage Proudmoore didn't seem like a sloppy barrier caster to me," Algus observed. "Her recent performances for the city have all been solid work."

"Oh, she's quite able," Kalec agreed. "She actually helped me do some of the repair work here. What I was referring to was an, ah, incident. A powerful artifact had been unearthed and was broken besides. I needed help and she came. Saved my life," Kalec said. "But she tunneled through a lot of the warding to reach me. Ripped some of it down."

"Ripped-!" Algus blinked, pale eyes huge in shock and fear... Which turned into thoughtful respect a moment later.

"Proudmoore was able to rip through your wards?" He chuckled darkly. "Probably a good thing she wasn't a combatant in the War then."

"I consider it a very good thing," Kalec agreed. "Tending the wards she managed to tear through was work given to younger drakes; dragons who haven't seen their first century who are still learning. Apprentices. It would have been harder to do with dragons actively looking after them, but she found vulnerabilities I certainly didn't know about." Kalec shook his head and turned a corner. 

"Those drakes would have been wounded badly by the backlash. If they'd gone to investigate in person they could have been killed and some of the hypothetical mages could have been killed. Could..." Kalec shook his head. "Someone would have died. Probably a lot of people. In any case, I don't think it would have sat well with Jaina to have killed teenagers given busywork magically guarding the rear entrances to the Nexus. It wouldn't have been good for the drakes either to kill Kirin Tor Mages. I resent that any of us took part in killing during that war, but I find it especially regretful that even our youngest were considered combatants by both sides."

Algus's frown deepened. "My apologies."

Kalec sighed and let the anger go. Malygos had been insane and putting _whelps_ into battle barding had been the final straw for some dragons. While whelps were expected to help the flight as they grew, there were limits. "I took no offense," Kalec said as he continued to lead down a ramp. "That she was able to tunnel through and rip as much down as she did revealed some security flaws." It had also highlight how powerful and cunning she'd become on her own. "While Jaina did use brute force in some areas, she managed to slip through others. It was respectable work! On the one paw I'm impressed. She found unexpected ways through. But on the other it just showed how woefully inadequate the wards had become without proper maintenance."

"If I might ask a potentially impertinent and offensive question?"

Kalec arched an eyebrow but shrugged a shoulder. "Go ahead. I can't promise to answer."

He clasped his hands behind his back, watching the floor as they walked. "Surely you had to have known we had managed to bypass your defenses. We even had a structure set up under the shield with the red dragons." Finch looked up. "Some of us thought it might be a trap. Was it?"

Kalec grimaced. "It was intended to be, I think. The dragons who supported Malygos's war stopped giving information to the dragons who didn't support the war. There was also a growing faction who wanted Coldarra to be isolated again, and when those who supported the war allowed an incursion, they lost the support of those dragons."

"Civil war isn't a pretty thing."

"No," Kalec agreed. "And Malygos was defeated before it came to a head within the flight, thankfully. We were able to come together for Azeroth when we needed to be there." He gestured ahead to a heavy door guarded by one of the big bipedal draconids and one of the slender female casters. Both draconids bowed as Kalec led the way inside. Finch nodded politely to the guards and followed after he paused when he entered.

"Oh my that is interesting," he mused as he drifted forward.

The chamber was spherical, hewn from the rock and carved with sigils and gracefully sweeping lines. Crystals and metal circles and designs were embedded at intervals all around the interior surface of the chamber. In the center of the room was an ethereal webwork of sigils and intersecting arcane circles suspended in the air. They surrounded a faceted crystal about as tall as a man. The crystal shimmered and pulsed with energy. Kalec stepped onto the large circular platform that extended into the space, Finch following. Once they were both on the platform Kalec gestured and the disk floated away from the exit to the center of the room.

"This is one of a few access points," Kalec explained. "Similar to the area you showed me earlier in Dalaran. We would take turns empowering the crystal which was our disbursement point." He gestured and the crystal descended to the platform. "I can give you some cursory access to see the network."

"It's strange," Algus said as he manipulated the representation of the warding. "The structure is efficient and sound but there's all this... added network on top of it. What the additional bits are doing to support security are perfectly functional but I think the way some of these were created rely too heavily on having dozens of dragons supporting their weight."

"You're not wrong," Kalec said. "This is one of the things I've been wrestling with. A particular ornateness became popular within the flight. When we had the power to support it, we didn't have any issues. I'd like to make it more efficient than it is but we cannot reduce our security."

Algus rubbed his hands together and regarded the network with a predatory gleam. "Well then, let me throw some ideas your way, hm?"

They were deep into the harmonic structures that stopped most teleportation attempts into the deeper parts of the Nexus when Kalec realized the box of cupcakes was nearly empty. He checked the time and realized how late it was becoming.

"We should be going soon," Kalec said, rolling his shoulders. "Thank you for your help. I appreciate it. Keeping the outer wards will be a lot easier now."

"You've been doing the empowering and maintenance yourself?" Algus asked as the webwork of the wards of the Nexus was displayed. The fractal patterns of power was fed from similar stations such as this one, positioned at regular intervals around the Nexus.

"The Kin are doing their part, but they don't have as much magical muscle," Kalec said. He set the boxes down and took out a cupcake, offering it to Finch who took it absently. Kalec took one himself and it and a second quickly disappeared as Algus perused the ward network.

"How do the ley lines interact with this?" Finch asked. "Could you divert power to keep the system sustaining?"

"There are a few feeder connections," Kalec said. He waved a hand and the leylines appeared as silver overlays on the blue and violet lines of the warding layers. "If a dragon was here to monitor the system, I'd consider using something larger to feed power. For most of the last year if I've been here, I've been alone." He smile ruefully. "I would much rather be in Dalaran."

"I, ah, noticed the Nexus is rather empty," the other mage said, wincing slightly.

"My flight is dispersed," Kalec said. "It is not widely known, so I'd appreciate your discretion, but the Cataclysm hit the dragonflights hard. We're still reeling from those events. Many blues drifted on their own. It came to a point where it was best for us to leave here and find our own ways."

"There were many deaths fighting Deathwing. And I understand you all lost your mantles of power."

"It was a willing sacrifice," Kalec said. "But it's had larger consequences for my people than we expected." The full extent of the damage he was still reluctant to share, so he went with the explanation he'd given Jaina a year ago. "Deathwing served us a large portion of 'humble pie' I've been told is the correct idiom."

Algus smirked. "It is."

Kalec nodded. "There isn't a dragon alive who hasn't been touched by the tragedy of the Cataclym. For millennia my flight was isolationist and hidden because our Aspect was deeply affected by Deathwing's initial betrayal. Most of the blues died that day and it took millennia for us to recover our numbers. He was remote and isolated and gradually drew us all in closer until hardly anyone left at all." Kalec shook his head. "And then he threw us into a war and more of us died."

"There's something more," Finch commented. "I can understand leaving to see the world after you'd had your wings clipped for so long. Well, metaphorically speaking. But this place is larger than some of the cities I've visited. Surely someone would stay."

Kalec nodded, his fingers continuing to make the minor adjustments. "Right now I'm the closest. I don't bear the mantle any longer but I still feel responsible."

Finch was silent. Eventually Kalec looked up. The mage was frowning thoughtfully.

"It's something serious, isn't it?"

"For us it is. It doesn't affect the other races of Azeroth." 

"Is there something I can do to help?"

Kalec smiled a little. He'd been about to brush off the offer but that is what the dragons had been doing for two years. Alexstrasza had begun to reach out on her personal journey to find a solution, and Kalec had spoken to Jaina; it wasn't a secret shame he needed to keep. They _had_ been keeping it as such. Pride again.

"I don't know," Kalec said, honestly. "The dragon flights can't have children anymore."

Finch's mouth opened and closed. He lifted a hand, finger raised then let it drop, frowning. The frown turned into wide eyed fear.

"Great maker," he said. "No? Not at all? No one?"

Kalec shook his head. Revealing this personal pain a second time still hurt but there was also a sense of relief in sharing why his ancestral home was so empty, why he wished to be in Dalaran with Jaina and other mages.

For a moment before the other mage looked on with the same shocked, soft expression before he scowled.

"That's _awful_. It makes entirely too little sense! I could see perhaps something happening to you five directly involved, but your entire race? No. And the orc doesn't seem to have been affected. What- Was it backlash? It had to have been something like that. Or was it spread from the Old Gods?"

"My theory was some sort of backlash rippled out as the Mantles were burned away. The Aspects have always been very deeply connected to their flights. In a very real sense the Aspect was the spirit of their flight." Kalec sighed. "And that which was our strength for so long may have proven our ultimate downfall. But at least Azeroth survived."

"That... Is not fair."

"No, it isn't," Kalec agreed.

"I imagine you've tried everything you can think of."

"Everything the flights could think of. Alexstrasza among others are still looking into the issue, but I know that _I_ don't have a solution."

"No?"

"No. It's not a premonition precisely, it's just a sort of... resonance. A knowing. Jaina's said it happens among mages from the other races as well."

Algus nodded thoughtfully. "I... I haven't always liked dragons, but I would rather have dragons around than not at all." He looked around the room, and crossed his arms thoughtfully.

"How willing are you to have visitors here? Perhaps fresh eyes might discover an answer."

Kalec tilted his head and studied the other mage. "Like you I'd prefer to have them somewhat vetted and for access to be limited to those I found trustworthy. I do understand your position, Archmage. There are some things in the deepest vaults... I would be willing to discuss teaching the same people you trust with your most dangerous items."

"You would?"

Kalec shrugged, helpless. "I have to eventually."

"You do?"

Kalec sighed and began the locking procedure for the access point they'd been using. "Are you familiar with the Charges to the Dragonflights?"

"Time, Magic, Earth, Dreams, Life. The Titans gave the Aspects powers over these areas. Everyone who is familiar with dragons knows that," Finch answered, shoulders shrugging.

"The Charge is more than just our realm of expertise. It's not only a blessing. It's a duty as well. It lives in us, as part of us. It's something we need to do as much as we want to do it."

"I'm no expert but that sounds and awful lot like a geas, Kalec," Finch said, frowning.

"From the outside I can see how you might think they're not too dissimilar. But while it's something so fundamental to our being it doesn't override rational thought." Kalec waved a hand. "I brought it up because I feel the Charge strongly. I suspect all the flight leaders do. When Norgannon blessed Malygos he gave him the Charge." Kalec reached for that deep place in his soul where he could still touch the echo of Norgannon's words. He let the resonant energy suffuse his voice and recited the words every blue dragon knew heart and soul.

"'Magic must be regulated, managed, and controlled. But it must also be appreciated and valued and not hoarded. Such is the contradiction you must deal with. I believe that you will find my gift to you is not just a profound duty - which it is - but also a delight - which it is! May you be dutiful... and joyous both.'" Kalec let go of the magic and opened his eyes. When he spoke next it was in his normal voice. Finch was blinking owlishly at him, but that wasn't too surprising. Even some dragons were startled to hear the echo of Norgannon aloud.

"I've always believed that I should live the Charge. I should manage my own magic well and teach younger dragons to do the same. If you respect and love a thing then you wish to see it treated well." He gestured around them as the platform moved back to the entrance to the chamber.

"This whole place is magical. Our knowledge, our artifacts, even the structure itself is a conduit for arcane ley lines. It's also _mine_ , because I was Aspect, because I am the flight's leader until I die or they ask me to step down. It's my responsibility to see it treated with respect. I will not live forever. Blue dragons will not live forever. I want everything we've learned to be treated with respect and understanding. Misusing arcane power has led to some of the largest tragedies in Azeroth's history. I want the legacy of what we leave here to be better than we have been, Archmage."

Finch regarded him for a long moment then looked into the middle distance. "Seems a heavy burden to do alone."

"Someone must." His home was so empty, the scents of other dragons so old.

Finch winced but nodded agreement. "It should be the mages of Dalaran who help."

"So much of what I see in your teaching already matches what I was taught," Kalec said, fondly. "It was another reason I thought Malygos mad. While there have been individuals who abused magic among the other races, by and large the Mages of Dalaran have respect for the power they wield. What he should have done was reach out and invite students."

"History is filled with a great many moments where people should have done something else."

Kalec could not disagree. They stepped off the platform and began the trek back to the surface of the Nexus. The guard had changed while they'd been working and Kalec paused a moment to brief the two on the adjustments he'd made.

The journey back was made in almost total silence. Kalec was lost in thoughts of what he needed to do among the artifacts and how he might go about allowing access in a safe way. He felt drained having spoken at length about this issue again, but there was a little lightness in sharing. He hoped something good might come of exposing those wounds. He opened the portal for them both.

It dawned on him as he stepped through the portal to the cobblestone streets of Dalaran that as much as the Nexus was still home, his heart longed for Jaina and the simple comfort of her arms. He hoped that he hadn't alienated Finch, but in the moment the other mage's concern had seemed genuine. They stopped in front of the Violet Citadel.

Finch regarded Kalec for a long moment then seemed to come to some conclusion before speaking. "Thank you for the work you've done today. Thank you also for allowing me into your home and speaking so candidly." He bowed at the waist.

Kalec inclined his head. "You are quite welcome. Thank you for sharing your expertise with me. If you would be amenable I'd appreciate it if you would consult further as I actually make some of the structural changes."

Finch's eyebrows raced up and he smile "I think I would enjoy that task. I will see you tomorrow. Same time, same place. Round two is a bit less interesting but I do need you to be aware of our operational security around the Hold."

"I understand. I'll see you then."

"Goodnight," he said, bobbing his head again before turning to stroll in the opposite direction.

Kalec took the now familiar path home. Home. His steps sped up just a little. Home and his mate. He entered their home quietly in case she was still napping. She wasn't in her parlor or her lab. He found her curled in a nest of pillows and blankets in her bedroom. The worries and cares of the last year seemed to have disappeared for the moment. She was resting peacefully and Kalec decided to join her rather than wake her.

Trying to be considerate he took off his shoes then slipped into the bed behind her. She stirred despite his efforts not to wake her.

"Mmmm. Welcome home. Have fun?" she asked.

Kalec hugged her and kissed the back of her neck. "How was the rest of your day."

"I sent a few letters and then I slept." She stretched in the bed then settled against his chest, wrapping her arms around his. "You didn't answer my question."

Kalec held her more closely. Jaina turned and wrapped her arms around him. Kalec buried his face against her shoulder. Her long fingers groomed through his hair and he began to relax.

"Did something happen?" she asked at length.

"I told him about our sorrow. He noticed how empty the Nexus was." Her arms wound tight around his shoulders were a comfort too. "He asked how he could help."

"You looked like you'd made friends earlier," she said.

"I think maybe. It hurts to talk about it still."

She kissed the top of his head. "What can I do?"

"You're doing it," he murmured. "I think maybe he understands me a bit better. Might be willing to give me a chance here." Kalec sighed. "One mage down. Hundreds to go."

"Two mages," she said, tapping his nose.

"You've done much more than give me a chance to fix the damage my flight did. You've given me someplace to call home again." He tightened his arms around her and kissed her collarbone.

"Funny. I think you've helped this place seem more like home in the last few days than I've felt all year." She sighed. "It's been longer than a year. There's a memorial planned in a few weeks. Will you come with me?"

"Of course." He nuzzled against her skin again. "I'll be okay. How was your talk with Modera?"

"Interesting," Jaina said. Her fingers continued to run through his hair. "I told her about the healer I'm seeing in Pandaria. She's felt some of the same things but she learned how to deal with violence when she was an apprentice. I didn't. We're going to see if we can't make a deal with the Shado-pan. Modera thinks there might be more people who had problems like I have."

"That sounds promising."

"I think so," she said. "She also wants to teach me how to be a better battlemage."

"Good." He squeezed his arms around her once more. 

"She also wants to get you in for evaluation."

He tilted his head up to look at her. "For?"

"Combat evaluation among other things I think. As she put it, she wants to know what trouble you could start and the trouble you could stop."

Kalec smiled a little. "I'm not much of a battlecaster."

Jaina grinned. "I warned her as much. Don't be surprised when she asks."

"Thanks for the warning," he chuckled.

"Did you still want to have a late dinner?"

"Yes, but this is nice for just a bit longer."

She smiled and continued to card her fingers through his hair.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Modera stared hard at the dragon. He was without a doubt the most powerful mage she had ever worked with; his knowledge of the arcane was both broad and deep. He wielded incredible power with the solemnity of the eldest sorcerers, and had the control born of thousands of years of practice._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _But his knowledge of battle magics wasn't even as complete as Proudmoore's was._
> 
>  
> 
> __
> 
> Modera is less than impressed by Kalecgos' practical knowledge of offensive spellcasting and has another sudden realization. Kalec and Modera have some straight talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight delay because of holiday weekend here! Thank you for your continued support :D

Modera made good on her intention before the following day was done and Kalec agreed to her evaluations the day after, when Archmage Finch could spare him. The morning of the evaluation Kalec found himself standing on a huge iceberg floating off the southern coast of Northrend, Archmage Modera standing a few feet away, scanning the horizon.

"Normally I do these sorts of things in one of the warded training rooms, but normally I'm evaluating teenagers," Modera said as she looked Kalec over. "You're no teenager, Lord Kalec." 

He smiled tentatively. "Ah, no. What do you want to see, exactly?"

Modera leaned on her staff. "It's a general test of ability and power. I'll set a task and I'd like you to accomplish it. General evocations, conjurations, those sorts of things. Accomplish them as normal."

The dragon shrugged. "Sounds easy enough, I suppose."

Modera nodded then smiled as she found what she'd been looking for. "First task," Modera said, addressing the dragon. "I want you to get rid of as much of that iceberg as you can." She pointed to a large iceberg that was floating south and east of them.

Kalec eyed the small mountain of ice and wondered what Modera hoped to see. He shrugged and began a spell he'd known for ages. It was mostly frost magics but there was fire as well. He focused his power and sent the webwork into the ice, setting up the structure just so, and then finished the circuit.

The iceberg melted between one heartbeat and the next, the suddenly liquid ice falling into the ocean in a controlled wave. Kalec made sure the spell completed entirely and nodded as the sea rippled where the iceberg had once floated. He nodded in satisfaction and turned to Modera with an expectant look.

"One Iceberg, removed."

Modera looked at the sea, looked at him, looked at the sea then back to him. "You _unraveled_ it."

He nodded. "It's the most efficient way to remove one that size." She continued to stare and Kalec wondered if he'd done something silly in her eyes. "Ah, did I do something incorrectly?" Hadn't she always complained about the inefficiency of blue dragon magical techniques? He'd made it a point to be efficient in his casting here.

"No. I told you to get rid of it and you did. I was honestly expecting something a bit more... Explosive." She nodded generally in the direction of Dalaran. "The students in my class would have been more destructive. Your solution was correct and efficient, but your casting time was slow and required your full attention."

"I can cast it faster," he said, "but I was being intentionally cautious. If you'd prefer if use more overtly offensive techniques I can do that as well. I'm not terribly well practiced. I've been melting ice like that since I was a drake, but I haven't really used offensive energy evocations for... For a very long time shall we say."

Her lips twisted as she glanced at the settling sea then back to Kalec. "Right then. Let's start with the basics; arcane, frost and fire evocation. The larger iceberg there should do just fine." She waved her staff and a series of violet circles hung in the air just before the wall of ice. "Hit the target with the hottest fireball you can conjure, if you would."

"I haven't done this in awhile," he reminded her.

"So you've said." She gestured towards the targets.

Right. Fireballs. Kalec thought back, far back, into his past. His mother had instructed him first. She'd been a proponent of swift, elegant casting. His teachers after her had been less so, but he thought he could recall something which would appease the archmage. The basic spell, then some alterations to make it hotter as she requested.

Kalec gathered his will then evoked fire, the blazing hot fireball formed in his hands. He eyed the target and sent the fireball towards it. it streaked across the hundred yards or so like a comet and burst against the ice, shattering and melting the ice.

A good ten meters to the right of the largest target circle.

Kalec winced, formed another fireball and then sent that one. He managed to land inside the largest target this time. The next two fireballs dialed in his aim a bit, but he only managed to graze the edge of the innermost circle. He stopped when Modera held up a hand.

"Frost, if you please."

His bolts of ice fared a bit better than the fire did, but truthfully Kalec had not used such attacks often. He'd read up on the premise of the spells and had seen Jaina call frost to her. He spun up a workable spell, refining it as he sent a half dozen bolts at the target. His aim had improved, he was glad to see. Again Modera held up a hand and he stopped.

"Arcane."

This was by far the easiest. He sent pulsing bolt after bolt, clustering them around the center. Modera held up her hand and he stopped. She eyed him briefly then had him conjure gouts of flame, novas of ice, bursts of the arcane. 

He conjured enough food for an army to feast upon, he calmed flame and melted ice. He demonstrated all manner of destructive powers and things with martial use before she started in on the wards, shields and transfigurations. She hit his shields with surprising power, each blow rattling his teeth, but he withstood them. As she hit his shield, he altered his defenses to withstand her blows better, which cause her to alter her own spells. It was actually a fascinating exchange of magical ideas, all without using words, just sparring.

She held up her hand, again signaling the end of the exercise. Then she began to interrogate him. She started with basic food conjuration and then moved from there into greater protection circles, alchemy, runecraft, inscription and enchanting. She asked about theory as well as practical examples. She bid him conjure lunch for them both as he expounded on what he knew of levitation. He dissipated the conjured plates and leftovers then she had him lift icebergs from the sea until he was actually beginning to feel like he was getting a workout.

"Put it down," Modera commanded. Kalec gently lowered the several tone iceberg back into the sea, careful not to just drop it and cause an unpleasant wave. As a dragon he'd not have minded terribly and they both likely knew spells to remove water from clothing, but he was certain Modera would have found it rather rude. When he was done lowering the ice he clasped his hands behind his back and awaited whatever else she wished for him to do to get a general sense of his magical abilities.

* * *

Modera stared hard at the dragon. He was without a doubt the most powerful mage she had ever worked with; his knowledge of the arcane was both broad and deep. He wielded incredible power with the solemnity of the eldest sorcerers, and had the control born of thousands of years of practice.

But his knowledge of battle magics wasn't even as complete as Proudmoore's was. 

He looked somewhat abashed as he waited for her pronouncement, resembling one of the gawky pre-teen apprentices more than a dragon thousands of years old. He could do the battle magic of course, but it was clear he had not practiced it in a long, long time. It was also evidenced in his combat magic that whoever had taught him had come from a very different school of thought than most of the other blue's she'd seen. It was noticeable that his castings were far more direct than what she'd witnessed from dragons in the Nexus war and during the Cataclysm. Yet there was an ornateness almost imposed on it whenever he attempted to adjust the parameters.

Battlemage though she was, Modera was still a mage and that leant itself to a healthy dose of curiosity. Technique in her field was as hotly debated a topic as stances and forms among warriors or monks. She wondered what the story was that lead his casting to look as it did.

His theoretical knowledge was quite strong, as were his practical skills outside of martial applications. As for battle magics, he knew the theory clearly and had even practiced it, apparently under different teachers or perhaps had made the adjustments for personal reasons. His aim was rubbish and the actual forms once he'd pulled them together were the sloppy sketches of a mage who'd read all about fireballs, or who'd seen standard frostbolts, but who hadn't really used one...

"You're an academic."

The dragon looked thoughtful. "I suppose you could say that," he agreed. "I have spent most of my life studying. I've been fortunate in that I've been able to do so."

"What topic?"

He dropped his eyes briefly, a light blush crossed his cheeks, unmistakable this time. "Unified magical theory."

"Unified magical theory," she repeated, deadpan. A field renowned for its difficulty, one where even other academically minded mages looked askance at their peers.

"Well it isn't the only thing, but it's my favorite subject." He offered her a tentative smile which died quickly as she continued to stare. 

His favorite topic was one of the most esoteric and obscure fields of magic; where the traditional laws and theorems broke down into chaos and seeming nonsense. Modera had been no slouch in the classroom, but there was academia and then there was _academia_. Khadgar dabbled, as had Antonidas, but so many other luminaries of the magical world had left the field alone. The blush indicated to her that even among dragons, perhaps this field was considered to be obscure.

He just wanted to study.

"Holy Light above." She had to laugh. It should have been obvious and in hindsight it was, but she could see she'd let Malygos color her perception of _this_ Aspect.

Modera crossed her arms, grinning at him. "Tell me, when you and Archmage Proudmoore make plans to spend time together, are you usually reading books? Conducting experiments?"

He looked a little indignant which was all she needed to see to know she was correct. "What we do in our private time isn't any of your business," he said, voice as chill as a Northrend blizzard.

She held up a hand. "Peace," she said. "I meant no insult." It was adorable. "I bet you cuddle up together with books and _read_." His blush confirmed the image for her and she cackled. "Light and Life you do. No wonder you're such an awful battlemage. _You'd rather be studying._ "

He crossed his arms and glowered. She put a hand over her mouth and tried not to laugh and insult him further.

"I think we might be done here," he said, a little bit of heat entering his words. He lifted a hand to begin to teleport.

She waved him down, suddenly serious. "No. We're not." She bowed at the waist. "I apologize for how I've been behaving. What you and Archmage Proudmoore do in your free time is none of my business. I honestly and truly have not meant insult. I just... suddenly understand."

"Understand what?" he asked, eyes narrowing.

Modera leaned against her staff and bowed her head. She _had_ been rather rude in her surprise and sudden amusement. "I understand why she's picked _you_ out of all the beings in Azeroth, Lord Kalecgos." She smiled to try to keep insult out of her words. "You'd rather study the secrets of magic and yet here you are, the former _Aspect of Magic_ , leader of your people, far from a library. Jaina would love nothing more than to sit in a tower and read, yet she leads of city of mages, and once ruled a lovely city of her own making," Modera shook her head sadly at the last, voice softening. Academia was not all the two shared for all their vast differences. Both had lost kingdoms.

And in the desolation, they had found a kindred spirit.

The dragon's stance relaxed a little. He looked away, turning a thoughtful gaze out across the sea. Modera let him pull his thoughts together. She needed a moment to reflect as well. At length the dragon spoke.

"May we speak plainly and without obfuscation or hiding?"

"Nothing stopping you. Though," she gestured at him, "you're still hiding even now."

When he looked back at Modera, she could see frustration lurking in his eyes. He stopped restraining his aura and let his power flow naturally around him. His magical presence hit Modera like an ocean wave.

"This is me," he said, gesturing to himself. "This is not a disguise or assumed persona. This is me but shaped differently." He seemed to want to say something else but self-censored and returned his gaze to the sea. "If you would prefer to speak to me while I am in my dragon form I can accommodate you but it would not change any of my answers."

"Would it change mine, you think?"

His lips twisted into a rueful smile. "It might."

"Fine, then stay as you are."

He tilted his head in acknowledgement. He was silent for awhile, wearing a thoughtful frown. When he'd collected his thoughts he said, "When Rhonin sent me to Theramore I'd known of Jaina's reputation. I had met her briefly at Go'el's joining, but until I showed up on her doorstep with Rhonin's letter of introduction we'd hardly exchanged more than a few words." 

The dragon watched the sea once more. He'd not bothered to restrain himself again and Modera gradually got used to standing next to such a torrent of power. She wondered what it had been like when he'd held the mantle of Aspect. Magna Aegwynn had rarely restrained her aura; an intended insult and reminder to the Tirisfal and council of Dalaran that she was mightier than they and that she disliked their policies. She'd felt large like this. Terrifying and compelling all at once.

"I did not expect to find someone who understood me so well," the dragon admitted. "The situation was dire and the events of those days were horrific. I... did not understand how horrific until the trial. Jaina was called to the witness stand. The bronze dragons showed what had happened-" he broke off, eyes squeezed shut, one hand clenched into a fist. Modera felt a faint crackle of energy around them, but the swell subsided.

When Kalec opened his eyes, she saw several emotions flash through his expression; pity, sorrow and helpless rage. But as she watched it faded, his shoulders sagging, his expression softening into something she'd have called wonder or perhaps hope. "She has been so wounded and yet she has tried so hard to remain herself. The magic of my flight ruined her home and she never blamed me, nor my people, nor magic. She still loved and respected magic."

Kalecgos turned to look further west, his expression tightening into something achingly painful. "Coldarra is empty. My flight is dispersed. The theft of the Iris finally broke the resolve of the last of us who remained," he said, mourning in his voice. "Selfishly it means I can live and work in Dalaran to be near she who is dear to me."

"You both have lost your kingdoms," Modera mused, giving voice to her thoughts. The wind rose around them, cool and smelling of the salt spray.

Kalec lifted his face to the wind. "Yes. And though mine was gone first, she has recovered better than I have." He frowned, then shook his head, clearly self-editing again.

"What do you want from her?" Modera asked. He'd been the one to request they speak plainly, so she would do so. She'd been wondering for the past year. Why Jaina had chosen him was more clear to her, but why had the dragon stuck around?

He looked up, a slight frown creasing his forehead. He tilted his head in a gesture she interpreted as confusion. "The same things any male wants from the female who is most dear to him. To see her smile and know I was the one who caused it, to hear her laugh freely and forget her burdens for a moment, to curl close and watch the northern sky-lights shimmer and dance, to see the way she bites her lip when she's considering a particularly difficult equation, to be woken up when she rises at the crack of dawn in defiance of all rationality and common sense, the intense look she has when she's cross-referencing three scrolls of data, the feel of her hand in mine as we walk." He offered a small smile. "I want to be with her for all the little moments of life. I want her to share those things with me." He shrugged, hands open, conveying a sweet, helpless acceptance.

Simple. Honest. He spoke of desire for the closer intimacies of a _relationship_ and she found she believed him. A scholar-king without a kingdom who'd found a queen trying to adapt to a new crown. Both leaders yet outsiders who wished for simpler things. She'd been expecting treachery, or perhaps more distance. Modera had expected Jaina was some means to some end for Kalecgos, not this... soft honesty.

He was an ancient, powerful creature with extensive personal power. What could a human offer? Except his answer was quite simple, which told Modera she needed to examine her own perceptions. Perhaps she'd internalized the view that humans and the younger races were "lesser". How could a dragon have genuine concerns for something lesser? But he wasn't a beast or a monster or an unfathomable entity, and his motives weren't obscure manipulations. They were, in fact, rather familiar.

"You're in love," Modera concluded in a flash of understanding. He was in love with her. And, Modera thought, Jaina might honestly love him back.

"Though others might find it irrational or folly," he said with a small boyish smile. "I have fallen quite completely for her. In truth I think I have been captivated since we met in Theramore. We had similar ghosts and frustrations with the world." He smiled more brightly. "And similar joys." 

He looked in the direction of Dalaran an expression of open hope on his face. "I thought I might have to walk away, her path was becoming so dark it hurt. But she turned away." He looked at Modera. "She chose herself over the anger. She chose me." He dropped his eyes a moment then looked up again. "The world has tried to carve the joy and love out of us. She's fought so hard for herself and she's begun to win against it. I might have some hope for happiness too."

Kalec sighed, a weary sound Modera found familiar. "Whatever happiness I might find, I want to share with her. I do not want to be another source of pain. What is your problem with me, Archmage? I cannot change who or what I am, but if there is some other reason for your dislike can we not work it out?"

Modera flinched. "I have not been fair, have I?" She waved a hand. "Don't answer that." Perching on a block of ice she held her staff in the crook of her arm. "You're a dragon. You're old, prideful, haughty beings by and large. Even Alexstrasza though she means well. Dalaran has seen enough draconic meddling. And Jaina has seen enough tragedy in the last year. She threw herself into caring for Dalaran for the most part. I didn't want to see her heart broken by some thoughtless overgrown lizard who didn't really care for such brief, fragile creatures as we. I thought she was grasping for whatever she could hold onto after she lost so much." 

She shook her head. "I didn't think she might have found someone who genuinely cared. Someone who understood _her_." Modera grimaced. "And perhaps that was my own prejudice blinding me. The Nexus war cut deeper than I have cared to examine, I think."

"As much as I wish it were not the case, my kind has given ample reason for you to mistrust." He shook his head. "But I want to repay that debt. I want to share my knowledge before I'm gone." Kalecgos sighed. "And I would like to know some peace and happiness."

"And you find that in Dalaran with her."

"I do," he said. The dragon, Kalec, finally began to reel in his impressive aura to more polite, and safer, levels. "So did you see whatever you were looking for with this testing, Archmage? I can promise you I won't be recklessly using magic or breaking the city rules." He ducked his head. "And I shouldn't have unleashed as I did just now. I am give to understand it's considered somewhat rude in Dalaran. It made sense at the time since I wished to speak plainly."

"No harm was done and I didn't take offense. I got your point," she said. "As for the rest... You're a rubbish battlemage."

"I did warn you," he chuckled.

"Well we're going to fix some of that. Your defensive skills are quite good and your theory is superb even if you use different equations and naming than I know."

"I've been going over the basics with Jaina and trying to translate what I know to more familiar terminology."

"Even we have to do that when we're talking with Mages who grew up in different traditions, so that's not too unusual. You'll be the first dragon though," Modera said. She waved a hand. "But getting back to the evaluation. Your aim is rubbish which is the most surprising thing. Usually if someone's aim is that bad, they grew up learning to sew and never having played ball as children."

"We used to play catch in Coldarra but whelps aren't built like humans. Are you suggesting I play catch with Vereesa's boys to gain practice?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"That wouldn't be too bad, actually," she smirked. "But aside from the aim, your fundamentals aren't too bad in theory but they're lacking in execution. In practice. You need to drill. Shoot'n'scoot my master used to call it. Jaina needs that practice too. Your combat evocations are fine at the base but there's an ornate component you'll need to rework or you won't be as effective."

Kalec nodded in acceptance. "I have a question though. I understand that security and overseeing the battlemages of the Kirin Tor and interfacing with the Silver Covenant are tasks you have taken on, but why do I need evaluation? Jaina said it was about seeing the trouble I could cause, but let me reassure you I honestly mean no trouble."

"The trouble you could cause, and the trouble _you could stop_ ," Modera corrected gently. "We live in an uncertain world in uncertain times. I make it a point to have some idea what the archmages are capable of doing. Because I know Archmage Finch had made warding part of his personal studies when his predecessor died at Icecrown, I suggested him to Rhonin. When we were attacked by blue dragons during the war and they got into the Hold, I knew which archmage to send in there. When we were boots on ground to retake Wyrmrest, I knew Archmage Zaliya was one of the better offensive casters. That she had good relations with your flight helped." 

Modera sighed and looked him in the eye. "Before, I thought you might have the power to rip Dalaran from the sky. Now I know you have that power." She shrugged. "There are a handful of archmages who could do so, so while it sounds terrifying it isn't entirely an uncommon potential. Finch could unravel the wards since he knows them best and his mind works in strange convoluted loops anyway," she said with a little laugh. A few of our Archmages could disperse the wards singlehandedly. Rhonin could. Ansirem. Khadgar certainly. Jaina." She pursed her lips. "I could probably do it. I've studied the wards too and I know where I would have to disrupt to make the whole thing fall. But I think you could haul it from the sky with brute force alone." 

Kalec looked slightly alarmed and she put up a placating hand.

"I'm old and I'm paranoid, so I've actively thought about how it'd go about pulling Dalaran from the sky."

"Ah. So if someone should try to, you'd already have some idea about how they'd proceed." Kalec nodded. 

Modera smirked. "That and if I needed to drop a city on someone's head, I know how to go about it.

"Why would you need to drop a city on someone or somewhere? And as a related point, why exactly do you think I need more combat training? I would much rather not be viewed as a military asset. The dragons have had enough problems without adding that to the list."

Modera pursed her lips, fingers flexing on her staff. "Not quite sure. That's the part that's bugging me. Been bugging me." She gestured for Kalecgos to sit across from her on another block of ice. He gestured at the ice shifted and reformed into a simple chair. She smirked to herself as he sat. He'd hardly put any thought into the gesture. Proudmoore did magic like that.

"There's something coming. Some conflict. I told Jaina a bit about this the other day. I wish I had more to go on, but it's persistent enough I can't help but give it some credibility."

He tilted his head. "Do you think it relates to Garrosh and the invasion force from the Portal? What Archmage Khadgar is doing?"

"I would have expected the feelings to go away by now," Modera said. She scratched the bridge of her nose. "I'd like to think it was just paranoia by this point, but my gut instinct is that we haven't seen the real fight yet."

"I understand if you cannot say, but has there been word from Draenor?"

"There was a brief message. Archmage Zaliya relayed from Khadgar that they've made contact with some friendly locals but they haven't established a beachhead. Getting even that much across time and space was rather miraculous since they had to destroy the portal." Modera sighed, feeling old and tired. She smirked up at him. "As much as I have felt somewhat uncomfortable with Archmage Zaliya's... friend. Having Tarecgosa's power and knowledge were helpful on Thunder Isle. I know they'll be an asset to Khadgar. We'll get Garrosh." Modera stood and stretched, old joints popping.

"So you're here. Tarecgosa's often around- well. Zaliya is around so she is, too. Do you think we'll see more blue dragons in Dalaran?" Kalec's face was stricken briefly and Modera frowned. "What?"

"The blue flight is dispersed."

"So you have said."

Kalec looked at his hands for a long moment and Modera felt her frown deepening. "What is it?"

And so Kalecgos explained why the blue flight was despondent and dispersed, and the shocking conclusion to the Cataclysm. Modera sat back down. No new nests. No children. The slow death of an entire race and how unexpected the outcome had been.

Modera had made her own sacrifices in her life. She'd given up her titles and lands and even her name to become simply, Modera, Archmage of the Kirin Tor. She'd mourned the life she could have led, the family she might had had with some pompous lordling of her parents choosing. She'd have died in the scourge of Lordaeron most likely, but at the time she'd still mourned what she would not have. And then she'd moved past it. Her losses had largely been of her own choosing and she had accepted that fate long ago.

Kalecgos, indeed all dragons, had chosen to stand against Deathwing. They had chosen to give up their mantles of power. Modera could respect that. But damn if the rest wasn't a kick in the rear after everything else.

No wonder he'd clung to Jaina like a wounded puppy. No wonder all he desired was some simple happiness.

"What are you going to do?"

Kalecgos sighed. "Live. Teach. I know a lot even if some doesn't have practical application," he said, inclining his head. "The Nexus and all our libraries will eventually need to be given over to the younger mages. I... I cannot even think of destroying anything."

Modera winced in sympathy. While some things were dangerous, she preferred they be locked away rather than destroyed. If they were locked up then you could at least keep an eye on it and destroying knowledge was never something she liked.

"I'm serious about making a life for myself in Dalaran. I've kept in contact with the rest of my flight and the flight leaders still meet with one another periodically, but the Nexus is more of a tomb than home now." He shrugged. "Maybe in the future it can become a city of mages once more, but for right now it's just a painful reminder."

"I didn't realize the similarities with Jaina ran so deeply."

He shrugged. "They're having an anniversary ceremony of some sort in a few weeks. I've agreed to go with her but I'm not certain what I should do to help. I know it's going to be rough and unpleasant. I wish I knew how to spare her the pain. She mentioned to me you and she had a conversation about some similarities in your experiences. Do you have a suggestion of what I can do to make the event easier for her?"

Surprised, Modera sat back. "Well. For one, make sure you're not so focused on her you ignore your own issues. I've seen when it happens and the results are not pretty. So that is the first thing you can do."

He opened his mouth then closed it, bowing his head slightly. "I believe I have witnessed what you speak of myself. I'll keep that in mind."

Modera nodded. At least the dragon was logical and sensible. "She is going to go back there and she is going to remember all the horrors of the end. She might even.... I've seen people relive those moments. So watch her and remind her she's not back there in the middle of the fight."

Kalecgos nodded. He was attentive too. That was also good.

Modera took a breath and let it out. She'd not lived there for decades but when she'd returned to Lordaeron she'd found the state of the city, crawling with the angry undead, had given her nightmares. When Dalaran had been attacked and they'd made the choice to take the city out of the line of fire, it had taken Modera some time to get used to the new situation, the new fear, the new location, the new rules and limitations. It wasn't the same as what Jaina had experienced, but maybe it would help.

"What I have personally found best is to have reminders of what I still have. To make happier memories to help offset the mourning. Talk to her. Take cues from her mood."

Klaec dipped his head in a small bow. "Thank you."

Modera returned the gesture. "So. You want to teach? Well I want to know what you were doing with some of those shields. We both want Dalaran to be successful. How about this as a plan, Archmage Kalec? You join me in some of my classes. You can see how we teach things in Dalaran, you get some much needed practice to apply your theory to, and I get to tease apart the strange layers of magic you're using. Eventually Khadgar's going to want backup. You can take over teaching some of my classes when I need to be in Draenor."

The dragon blinked. "You would find that acceptable?"

Modera nodded. "I won't leave you alone with them if you're still complete rubbish in combat, of course. Your theory is sound but practical application is important and teaching is a wonderful tool to learn something better." She hopped down off the ice block perch. "And if you want to teach in Dalaran then I'd like you to have an example and some supervision before we throw you to the wolves. It should also cut down on complaints if a Council member is helping. That sound acceptable?"

"That sounds more than fair," he said, standing. 

"Good! Now I'm going to have you construct the portal back to Dalaran. I want it to be as fast and as accurate a cast as you can make it. If you drop us somewhere in the air and i have to cast slowfall, I am going to be quite cross."

He smiled, apparently understanding her intent to joke and make the conversation lighter. "Have you really had to do that?"

Modera nodded, rolling her eyes. "At least one apprentice does it a year. It's why we teach slowfall first. Some teachers take their students to cliffs, but I've just had mine walk off the edge of the city. That's the most likely place they'll be falling from."

Kalecgos looked at her with an oddly intense look before chuckling. "My mother did much the same with me when I was learning to fly." He quickly cast the portal.

Modera noded in approval as they stepped across. "Not bad. Are you still working with Finch?"

"I'm on again in three days."

"Good! Then tomorrow at 1pm I have a gaggle of beginning apprentices. They're more antsy than a pile of puppies, more curious than a bag of kittens and twice as clumsy." She smirked. "But with those frostbolts, you'll fit right in." She winked.

Kalecgos laughed. "Well at least it isn't an early morning class."

"Light no," Modera said with feeling. "I'm the master now so I get to decide when the morning starts. Dawn isn't a sensible hour to wake up for." She pulled a face and the dragon laughed harder.

"On that we are agreed."

"Good. Well then I shall see you tomorrow. Oh, and remember to wear something that won't catch fire easily."

He chuckled and nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow then." He bowed and took his leave. 

Modera watched him go before heading in the same direction. If she was going to have a student teacher then she wanted to have actual lesson plans written down. Kalec was a bit ahead of her when she noticed Vereesa and Jaina were walking in from the other direction. She could see the moment Kalecgos caught sight of them. His steps sped up and his posture straightened. Jaina too reacted, a broad smile lighting up her face as she reached out a hand towards Kalec. He took her hand and there was a moment of awkward sweetness before Kalec belatedly greeted Windrunner. The elf seemed amused and waved as she walked off in the direction of her home.

The couple smiled at one another again, almost painfully adorable, and Kalec offered his arm. It was absurdly cute, Modera decided. And, perhaps, it might even be good. The tension was gone from Proudmoore's shoulders and while she looked healthier than she had for the last few days, there was a vitality Modera had only seen on rare occasion over the past year, and certainly not since the Purge. Kalecgos mimed some of his more pitiful attempts at offensive spellcasting and Proudmoore laughed. Jaina closed her eyes, shoulders shaking in mirth she tried to cover with a polite hand. Modera did not miss Kalec's reaction to the laugh; he seemed to drink it in.

"If they were any more sappy, I think I'd feel as if I'd consumed too many sweets," a low voice added at her side.

Modera smirked and inclined her head to Vereesa Windrunner. "Are they always like this?"

"They've always been painfully sweet, but since they came back it's been a bit more intense." She sighed a sad, wistful sound. She shook her head and looked at Modera. "What's your analysis?"

"He's completely and utterly smitten."

Vereesa snorted a laugh. "Yes, but aside from that. How'd he evaluate out?"

"He's the worst battlemage I've ever met but he could probably invert the city if he had half an hour and a mind to do some damage."

The elf made a pensive sound. "He's not struck me as the sort to do that."

"I don't think he would either. He's not a very reactive dragon. He wants to teach and read books with Jaina in sweet domestic bliss. I'm going to have him train with then student teach my teens."

Vereesa blinked. "Is that wise?" which Modera translated to mean _"isn't that an evil trial by fire?"_

"Throwing him into the mix with a classroom full of hormonal apprentice mages who think they're invincible?" Modera grinned. "No better way to see if he can handle teaching the younger races. Everyone wants to discuss the advanced topics. If he can help with the youngsters we can use that."

"And if he can't?"

Modera shrugged. "Then he does advanced research and discussion. Or flees for the hills."

"I don't think he has any intention of leaving this time. At least not for good."

"Doesn't look that way, does it. She happy?" Modera asked. Windrunner and Proudmoore had become quite close in the last year. If anyone could make an accurate observation for her, the ranger-general could.

"Happier than I've known her to be in a while. Peaceful. Healing."

Modera snorted and changed the subject. "I'm talking with one of the Shado-pan leaders tomorrow. They're amenable to talking about getting some of our healers trained like theirs are. The note's on your desk about adding in Silver Covenant healers if you want."

"I saw it," Vereesa noddd. "I think that'd be wise." She drew in a breath and let it out as the slowly strolling couple finally turned a corner and were out of sight. "We never know what we might be up against next."

"I'll keep you in the loop then," Modera said. She smiled up at the slightly taller elf. "So how are the boys?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and dreams guest-starring Ysera. Trial by fire student-teaching teenagers. Word reaches Azeroth of what is going on in the alternate Draenor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nerdy magical fluff and some comfort.

Kalecgos stretched his wings to their full extent and soared high above the sharp peaks of a mountain range. It took him a moment to recognize he was not in Northrend. He was fairly close to Stormwind and as he had the thought the mountains finally gave way to lower foothills, green with thick forests. He passed these and soon he could see Stormwind, the spires of the Cathedral rising from the center of the city. This high up the city looked like an ant hill as the citizen went about their lives, walking through the streets, pushing their carts, selling their wares. Coldarra had never held so many people at once and while he felt sad that his home was empty, he couldn't help but feel good seeing such vibrant life in the city.

A sudden flash of blue dove past him, nearly hitting his snout. A female blue dragon though one he didn't recognize. He sped up to follow and see who it was and perhaps talk a bit. She was fast and was already out over the sea past the harbor. As Kalecgos watched, the other dragon tucked her wings and dove into the sea, the dive hardly disturbing the water. Kalec waited for her to emerge but she never rose from the surface. Flying closer he circled the area. Dragons could hold their breath for quite awhile but as time passed he began to feel more frantic. Was she in trouble? Had something happened? Had she swum away?

Had he witnessed a suicide?

Kalecgos tucked his wings and paws, took a deep breath, then dove into the sea. The waters around Stormwind were not supposed to be as cold as if he were swimming by a glacier in Northrend but the chill was enough he almost lost his breath. The water was dark and murky and stung his eyes even though they were shielded by the nictitating membranes of his eyes. He swam in an expanding circle, looking for the lost dragon, feeling more and more desperate as the water grew colder and darker. Then the current threatened to pull him further into the depths.

Struggling to rise to the surface, he called for help in his mind, broadcasting loudly and broadly to anyone. He tried to summon magic to teleport away but it slipped from his grasp. He fought the current, eyes focused on the thin light from the surface of the ocean. He would not die here as the other dragon had. He had promises to keep and a mate who loved him. Wings and paws working to fight the chilling vortex, he continued to call for help.

Bright light, like the sun through the trees, surrounded him and the ocean currents calmed. He felt himself rising to the surface of still waters and gasped as he emerged into clear air. He was no longer in the sea outside of Stormwind. Overhead huge boughs creaked and swayed. The water around him fizzed, caressing his scales with tiny bubbles. It tasted like nothing and he couldn't smell the expected scents of flowers, but he recognized the location. He was in Hyjal, somehow in the center of the Well of Eternity. He tucked his wings in and relaxed, bobbing in the water like a very strange, very large swan.

"Kalecgos?"

Kalec turned his head and saw a misty shape approaching across the water. The shape resolved into the form of Ysera, her paws creating ripples across the Well as she approached, walking on the surface. She looked at him with a curious tilt to her head then sat on the water before him.

"I thought that sounded like you," Ysera said.

"I'm dreaming."

She laughed kindly. "You are. Or rather you were having such a powerful nightmare I could hear you. My powers are not what they once were but even so I could hear you."

"Is this the Emerald Dream?"

"Mmm yes and no. We are adjacent to it is best how to describe where we are. We're still in your dream, but yours has touched mine and so here we are. In Hyjal. How curious."

Kalec swam to shore, the elder dragon following, and he sat before her. "I thank you for pulling me out then. It was unpleasant. Odd I would pick here though."

"Oh, this is where I am. It is curious you reached me." Ysera said. "I am still connected to the dreams of this world. Not as deeply as I once was, but I am still here. Sometimes the other Aspects would visit and walk with me." She trailed off, her tone becoming a bit wistful before she cheered. "We're tending to some saplings here in Hyjal." She eyed him for a long moment. "Actually, I think you are the reason." She looked aside, thinking, then nodded. "Yes. Come see." She gathered her feet then took off. Kalec followed.

There was a little grove not far from the Well. The saplings she'd mentioned were growing under the great, peaceful boughs of the world tree. There were green dragons, druids and shaman attending to the trees. To Kalecgos they appeared like wraiths, their movements fast then slow, pausing then dashing from one location to the next before freezing in place once more. The trees were like a small garden of statues, utterly still. Each sapling was strong and straight for all they were small. Looking at them, Kalec couldn't help but feel a sense of power and potential from each. Being amid them was also somehow soothing. Even in a dream the nature magic could be felt.

"These are interesting. What kind of tree are they?"

"Daughter trees of Nordrassil," Yesera said, her voice taking on a warm quality Kalec wasn't used to hearing from the green dragon. "We do not have seeds but we have carefully grafted cuttings into these saplings." She touched the nearest with a delicate claw and smiled. "They are not as powerful, but they don't need to be."

"Staghelm tried this before."

"Yes but did so without the blessings of Nature. Or the dragon flights. We were... unable to assist him because of the Demon Soul. We are not at our full powers now but we can do enough for these. His research aided this effort so even though he was lost, his good intentions live. You- did you remind us with Tyr's artifact or was that a dream?"

"I did. You were rather annoyed at me at the time. Hopefully you are not annoyed now?"

She was nodding to herself. "I am not annoyed. I had forgotten. So much. My sister searches for our survival. Life is her realm. So is death. I do not know if we will die." She looked to the side and suddenly was a dull, greying dragon, thin and frail with age, though her voice was the same. "Sometimes I think it would be nice to rest." She sighed heavily and nature seemed to sigh with her, like wind through leaves. The image of her, old and frail, faded and she was as eternally strong as she had been all of Kalec's life.

"I had forgotten, Kalecgos." She nudged him with her shoulder and he staggered a step. "And I was annoyed but you were right. And so this is my gift, should I sleep, never to dream again." She caressed the tree with a gentle talon once more. "Daughter trees around the world. It will help the druids stabilize the Dream. It will help keep Azeroth healthy. When we leave this world, Azeroth can find us in her dreams. Sometimes I wonder if we aren't all her dreams. Maybe we'll disappear if she wakes. I don't think she will ever wake, though. She has suffered, but I have kept the nightmares away as best I could. And so I will find places to leave these to grow strong and to help keep the nightmares away."

Ysera was somewhat scattered, living in both the waking world while still being connected to the Dream. Since she'd lost her mantle she'd more fully awoken, but it was still sometimes hard to understand her meandering thoughts. Kalec thought he understood what she'd done. These were cultivated grafts from the world tree. They grew with nature's blessing. Perhaps she'd prevailed upon Nozdormu and Alexstrasza as had been done before. These trees, unlike Teldrassil, would therefore not be susceptible to the darkness that had befallen other attempts to propagate the world tree. Hopefully.

"You inspired this," she said. "You and your dogged insistence we have a part to play yet, tenacious blue." She bared her teeth at him. "I can respect that."

Kalec bowed his head. "Where will they be planted?"

"Unsure. They need magic. A good confluence of leylines. Some place untouched by the fel. Untouched by the Old Gods. Or at least as close as we can get." Her face fell. "I do not know where they will grow up."

"The Vale? Karazhan? Coldarra?" He thought for a moment then added. "Theramore?"

"All possible locations. We have concerns for the Sha in the Vale. We have concerns about fel energies in Karazhan. Coldarra is ill suited for now. Plenty of magic but not enough of what else we would require for a tree but one day your home might be a fine place, Kalecgos. Theramore..." She sat back pondering. "That is a new suggestion."

"There is a confluence there, no fel magic and the Old Gods have not been active. The mana bomb twisted the area but you said you needed energy."

"I had not considered that location," she mused, the end of her tail twitching in thought. "It wouldn't be suitable except for what happened there. Would such a thing be possible?"

"You'd have to tell me. Unless you are speaking of permission. I... I could ask."

"Do so," she said, rising. She paused. "If you please," she added belatedly. "I have not spoken to another Aspect in the Dreaming in some time, Kalecgos. Only rarely does my sister contact me thus. It has been pleasant. Remind me to speak to you sometime about clearing Karazhan." She loomed over him, her glowing eyes, one more blue the other white in echo of the moons. She grew to fill his whole vision. "You must wake up now."

"Wake up?"

"Wake up!"

* * *

Kalec rose from sleep as if it were a deep pool. There was tapping at his arm. He was wrapped around something soft and warm which smelled amazing. Someone. Jaina's scent. He buried his nose in her moonlight hair and inhaled, arms tightening around her. She smelled like jasmine and spice and parchment and arcane energy.

Jaina made a startled sound and the tapping on his arm grew faster. "Kalec. Kalec not so tight."

Abruptly more alert he loosened his grip and she breathed gratefully. 

"Sorry, sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No. Just a bit tight." She reached up and touched his cheek, her fingers slipping into his hair. 

He leaned into the touch, eyes falling closed as her fingers groomed through the locks. Kalec slid down the bed so he could rest his head against her chest and let her stroke through his hair. It was the closest thing he'd found to being preened in this shape. Kalec immensely enjoyed the feeling of her fingers through his hair and her nails against his scalp. It was calming when she did it.

"Nightmare?" she asked.

"Partially. It got better though when I realized I was dreaming." He yawned. "I think I spoke with Ysera. It could have just been a dream. I'll ask later." Ne nuzzled his face against her. "This is nice."

She laughed quietly, his fingers continuing the slow caress through his hair. Eventually they stopped. Jaina had fallen asleep again. Kalec smiled, kissed the soft skin against his cheek then snuggled in closer before falling asleep himself.

* * *

Kalec arrived five minutes before the posted class time. The room was one of the heavily warded and protected training rooms in the interior of the Citadel. One side of the room had a long black slate for lectures. The seats were stacked to the side, clearing the room to allow for target practice. Above there was a gallery that ran around the perimeter of the room, where other mages could look down on those training he supposed.

Modera arrived a moment later, hitting him in the chest with a sheaf of papers. "Lesson plans. Read them later." She walked to the other side of the room and began checking that the safety wards were still in place. "Glad you wore something that doesn't catch fire easily," she said gesturing to his leather clothing. He's traded the usual loose shirt for a close-fitted leather jacket and had tied back his hair.

Kalec trailed after her, watching what she did and assisting where he could.

"These are apprentices, but not the youngest. They're sixteen and up and their masters have determined they're responsible enough to learn offensive evocations. They are under very strict rules never to use this magic outside of class unless something dire happens. Once they're done with instruction they will be tested. If they pass then they are expected to use good judgement when it comes to their power."

"We have some similar rules," Kalecgos said. 

Modera laughed. "Polymorph is the insult spell of choice but woe be unto the apprentice who casts it in front of a master. Or any fighting outside of a hall like this."

"How do you stop it when you come across it?" Kalecgos asked. "I can think of several non-lethal ways but I'd prefer not to offend."

"Honestly, I turn them into sheep for a minute and walk away." She winked. "I could turn their hides into piles of ash and they know it. Spending a few minutes as a purple sheep is a good reminder to follow the rules, I think. I know Ansirem prefers arcane shields around the combatants. Jaina's used ice blocks." Modera's eyes glittered in fond memory. "Rhonin turned them into kittens."

"Kittens?"

"Kittens. Bumbling adorable kittens which is about as effective as turning them into sheep I suppose. Takes the wind out of their sails, certainly. What would you do with rowdy whelps?" she asked as she lifted a target into place.

"We didn't have a tradition of using something like polymorph but I can see the advantages." Kalecgos gestured and lifted the remaining three targets, positioning them where Modera directed. "More often I used silencing spells. Magical nullification barriers too. Especially on the youngest ones who don't quite have a handle on their magic. A lot of the mishaps we had were rowdy play that got out of hand, or over excited whelps channelling power they couldn't quite control yet. Dumping snow on the lot of them tends to remind them to play nice with one another. Ice blocks and silence for older drakes."

"Huh."

"Hm?"

"It's just... Interesting. The differences and similarities." she shook her head. "Listen, participate and learn today. When we're done I've managed to carve an hour out of my schedule for us to go over lesson plans for the rest of the semester. But I imagine we'll have a lot to talk about in comparative instruction."

Kalecgos smiled. "Sounds like fun."

Modera rolled her eyes and surprised him by patting his shoulder. "Academics. When Jaina's feeling better she's going to be learning with my more advanced magi. You should come to those classes as well. I'm sure you'll both find it fascinating."

"I know I will," he replied, not entirely certain what to make of Modera's clear teasing. It was worlds better than the reserved chill he'd received from her prior to this, however. Deciding she didn't mean more than to tease he let it go. "I will also be happy for Jaina to have more tools at her disposal. More ways to avoid what happened."

She paused and looked at him with a sober expression. "You were there? I hear it was a bit of a mess."

"Varian brought her inside. I arrived a moment later. She died in my arms."

Modera winced, shook her head then looked at him with faintly glowing eyes filled with determination. "Well that isn't happening again. Not on my watch. You were doing interesting things with your shields. Maybe we'll all be better off."

Kalec growled wordless agreement, stopping abruptly when he realized what he was doing. Modera grinned, showing her teeth. She slapped his shoulder in a friendly way and gestured at the doors. They flew open and the first of their students began to enter.

They stomped, sauntered, dragged their feet and in one case, rolled. They were all members of the Alliance races and he couldn't say who had the majority of numbers. Perhaps the humans but only marginally. They were mixed gender and full of the loud, boisterous energy of young adults. Watching them he could see there was already a lot of mutual posturing going on to impress peers and potential mates. They clustered into groups of friends and allies, mostly divided also by gender though the various races mixed together. He found himself smiling a little. His last class of drakes had been just like this.

A few noticed him and there was a lot of elbow jostling from one cluster of mostly females, but the males in the group were also putting him under intense scrutiny. Maybe they'd lost loved ones to the Nexus war. Time to make amends.

Modera gestured for him to stand to the side and he did so. She did a quick headcount then nodded.

"All right you lot, settle down. Settle down!" They did, mostly. "Helly put that scooter away," Modera added and the gnome put her contraption aside with a sight and an eyeroll before Modera continued.

"As you might have noticed, we have someone new in class. This is Archmage Kalecgos. He is going to be joining us as my teaching assistant for the rest of the semester to see how we do things in Dalaran. Treat him with the same respect you give the other archmages." She waited a beat while the students whispered quietly among one another. "And student teaching with me means I want you doing the exercises too, Archmage."

Kalec inclined his head. "Of course."

"Right!" Modera clapped her hands together several times. "Line up. We're going to review fireballs. Group one you're up. Two is on deck. Three, you're safety squad. Well? Move!" She gestured for Kalec to follow her then put him in line with the second group.

The students trudged to rows on the floor and began to cast fireballs at the targets. The designated group to the side were apparently tasked with putting out those same fires. The lines around rotate after three casts. It was efficient and focused on speed as well as accuracy; the blackboard to the side was magically keeping track of the number of successful hits each student made as well as accuracy numbers, speed, heat and other details. He was so distracted by the readout of monitoring information he nearly missed the first fireball. 

"Oh come on, you can do better than that," Modera said. "No need to go easy," she told him with a wink.

Kalecgos shrugged and neatly obliterated the top half of his target dummy with a blast of fire.

"Uhm. I don't know how to undo that," one of the students on the damage control rotation said in the sudden silence.

Modera cackled. She replaced the target dummy with one of the extras. "I did tell you not to go easy," she mused. "Perhaps just a bit less, so the damage control team has a chance to do damage control."

Kalec opened his mouth to apologize but from her grin, she genuinely amused. Instead he nodded and resumed practice. He missed the last shot.

The exercise was apparently a warmup for everyone because after the first full rotation, Modera started to call targeted areas of the body at random; sometimes they would have a glowing targeting reticle as she'd used on the iceberg when she'd given him the initial test and sometimes the body part she called wasn't the one that was lit up.

"Speed and accuracy," she said when she called for a rest. "You have no place on the battlefield if you cannot master both. You can overwhelm with larger area attacks as Archmage Kalec has so aptly demonstrated, but even a dragon should be accurate. You wouldn't want to be hit by friendly fire or hurt a non-combatant."

As she walked she rearranged the room, picking from a different set of targets. Kalec saw the ones she was using and assisted by picking up the rest and setting them down again with his own magic.

The second test was the same as the first but with lancelike shards of ice. He saw his aim had improved somewhat overall and fell into the steady rhythm of hurling ice at the firey targets which flashed the water into steam when they hit.

The third exercise was, predictably, arcane. The damage control team returned and this time they were to project shields around the targets as exercise. Shielding was easy and so Kalec did that without really giving it much thought. Instead he watched the other students cast their arcane missiles and construct their shields. The gnome girl with the bright blue hair beside him wasn't doing well but it wasn't a lack of power on her part. Kalec could see she was either unable to unaware of how she should orient the webwork of energy. Unsure if he should say anything, he tucked that aside for later when he could speak with Modera one on one. It was entirely likely she'd spotted it as well and it was her class and her place to give instruction. At least for now. Today he was a student.

Modera called for a rest and motioned Kalec over. The students flopped onto chairs they pulled from the side of the room or onto the floor. Kalec wondered at this as he crossed to Modera.

"Thoughts? Other than on the data analysis spell?"

"The data analysis spell is-" He paused. She grinned at him and he rolled his eyes, laughing. "Aside from that I think my aim is improving. Lots of easy repetition. I did notice the girl standing beside me seemed to be misaligning her spell matrix which is why so many bolts were getting through."

Modera nodded. "You didn't say anything."

"This is your class. I thought it best to bring it to you first. You didn't give me leave to offer advice and I also didn't want to give... unsanctioned advice."

"Appreciated," she said. "Let's give it a few days before you offer suggestions unless I call for one earlier."

He nodded. "Ah, is this terribly... strenuous?"

"Oh absolutely. Most of these kids haven't really built up their stamina yet. This is as much about endurance and helping them develop their own mana wellsprings as much as it is about combat."

"The called targets exercise is... devious," Kalec said. "And I mean that as a compliment."

"Like that one eh? It's a refinement of what my master taught me with. Works fairly well I think. We mix it up and sometimes frost gets that one and sometimes Arcane. Later on we'll get to moving targets and proper dueling but they're still working on the basic skills..." she trailed off looking at him speculatively.

"I am intrigued by those shields. How well do you think you could withstand a little low-power live fire exercise?"

Kalecgos blinked. "You want me to lob my admittedly inexpert fireballs at Hatchlings?" he waved a hand, shaking his head and corrected, "at apprentices?"

"Just use what you would if you were stopping rowdy kids. Silences and ice and polymorph and so forth. Part of the exercise if for them to maintain shields as well. The suppressors in here can be turned up higher and they would be mostly pounding on your shields with whatever they see fit to throw at you."

"You would trust me to do that?"

"I've given this a lot of thought, Lord Kalec. Trust has to start somewhere. Proudmoore trusts you and I think the current list of people who have her trust is exactly Anduin Wrynn, Vereeesa Windrunner and you." She looked at Kalec up and down. "And unless I am very mistaken you are unlikely to mismanage your power with students, given what you shared with me about your flight's charge. I'll go first and you sit out and watch the exercise, then we'll switch. It'll give me a chance to see those shields of yours and for me to watch without distraction."

Kalec looked at her then nodded. "Okay."

Modera grinned. "Feel free to dump snow on the uppity ones when it's your turn." She pushed away from the wall and summoned her staff to her hand.

"Uppity?" Kalec wondered aloud as the students got to their feet.

"Right. We're going to do the shield exercise now." She looked at Kalec. "We maintain a double shield and they try to bring the outer one down in this exercise. You'll sit out," she said, more for the benefit of the other students.

He watched the class jostle and nudge one another as Modera turned up the suppression field a little bit and constructed an inner shield then an outer one. The inner one was veritable arcane bastion for all she was intrigued by his shields. He supposed he could see why; her construction was solid and rigid which was unlike how he'd been taught. It worked well, and against some attacks would certainly work better. Kalec took mental notes as the students began to attack in the ordered groups they'd been using. Modera let them each have a few turns, sending her own fireballs at the students, then called an end to the exercise. The teens looked confused then began to glance at the door, clearly thinking they'd be leaving early.

"Archmage," Modera said, gesturing to the center of the room.

Kalec took her place and constructed an inner shield then an outer one. He took a breath then let it out, standing easy and ready to withstand their worst.

"First group!" Modera called.

The students looked at one another and the little gnome girl raised her hand. "Uh, you want us to attack him?"

"That is in fact the point of this exercise. You need to hold your own shield and you need to experience trying to take down another's."

"His shields are weird," one of the human boys said, raising his hand belatedly.

"I don't see anyone attacking. You're also unshielded," Modera said. Five shields instantly appeared around the student mages. 

The gnome squared her shoulders, faced Kalecgos and threw out her hands, sending a pulse of arcane bolts at him. "I'm sorry!" she said as she unleashed her attack, eyes squeezed shut.

Kalec's outer shield wobbled slightly. He arched an eyebrow. "You can use a bit more power, miss?"

"Helly Wigglefizz," she said, curtseying.

"Well met. Your aim is good but you can use more power if you like."

Seeing she wasn't going to be eaten or something, she began tossing arcane bolts at his head. His shield wobbled a bit more but her attack seemed to prod the rest into action. The second group were bolder than the first. And as soon as Modera called for them to act, Kalec's shields were assailed by a torrent of fire, ice and arcane. One student even attempted to use a spellsteal and another tried to silence. Both failed but he had to give them marks for trying. 

The third group looked especially excited to attempt to knock his shielding down. Most of these students were males who looked eager for a challenge. Kalec arched an eyebrow at them and, feeling a bit impish, gave them a little beckoning wave.

Modera wasn't done speaking before the torrent of destructive energy was unleashed at him. Kalec had to give them credit for their enthusiasm, but they were bleeding mana at an accelerated rate, and using huge fireballs that weren't especially well constructed. Their aim was a bit better than his was, so they had that going for them. Almost the entire group had neglected to keep their own shielding up. however.

Kalec gestured and the students were suddenly encased to the knees in ice. The lone remaining student suddenly redoubled his shielding, while the rest of the class laughed at their wobbling peers. Kalec gestured and the ice sublimated, freeing their legs.

Modera put up her own shielding again and crossed her arms as she approached. "Think you can take the lot?"

Kalec nodded. "Yes."

"Right then." She grinned then turned it on the students who shuffled uneasily. "Last exercise for the day. Last one standing doesn't have to do their triple evocations this weekend," Modera said, raising her voice to the class. "Keep your shields up. Try to take down his. If you're touched by a spell you're out. If you take down his shield, anyone still up when it goes doesn't have to do evocations this weekend."

This caused a lot of hubbub among the teens as they got to their feet and spread out. The weariness they'd been showing was largely and suddenly absent. Kalec chuckled.

"Evocations?" he asked.

"Practice. We'll talk later. Try not to shatter their shields."

He nodded. "Ready when you are."

Modera smirked, put up a shield so she wouldn't be hit by any stray fire and sicced the lot of them on the dragon. 

The teenagers unloaded everything they had onto his shield. It wobbled a bit under their barrage but the dragon was no more inconvenienced than if he were standing in a slight wind. They weren't bad, per se, but they were disorganized and their raw power much weaker than a mob of blue drakes would have generated. He knew they would eventually grow to the heights of Khadgar, Jaina and Modera but right now it felt like he was facing off against hatchlings.

"You may return fire, Archmage," Modera called out.

Kalec began to pick and choose his targets, picking out the ones who'd let their shields falter rather than tearing them down. The gnome girl let her shield slip for just a moment and then she found her feet covered in ice. The most aggressive boy from the second group created an enormous fireball and lifted it above his head. He threw it with a roar that turned into a startled bleat as he dropped his shield the moment he threw the flames. Another girl's shield was flimsy enough gently dispelled it. He put that girl a violet bubble then swept her, the sheep and the gnome to the side of the classroom, leaving them out of the line of fire. The other students began to more carefully protect themselves after that.

A group of girls stopped casting for a moment then seemed to hold a small conference before combining their powers on one particular point on his shield. Smart. Kalec grinned at them but was distracted by another group copying the maneuver. The second team wasn't as good at keeping themselves protected and he dispelled or slipped spells past their shields before lifting them up and away in their own little arcane prisons.

With fewer combatants, it was easier to, imprison, ice or polymorph the rest of the class, leaving the trio of girls trying desperately to attack while also keeping up their shields. They tried banishment, fire, ice, arcane, stealing and silences. If they were adults and fresh he might have had some trouble with their coordinated attacks, but as they were beginning to strain, it wasn't even a contest. They changed tactics again with the draenei girl holding a shield over the group and the other two, an elf and a human, attacking from under her cover. The shield holder swayed on her hooves and Kalec caught her in an arcane globe as she began to fall.

Modera called an end to the exercise and Kalec dispelled his ice and prisons as well as his shield. He was hit by a banish from the apparent leader of the trio of girls. The spell dissolved his top and hair tie into violet mist, leaving him shirtless. He scowled at the elf girl and cast a silence on her before trotting over to Modera and the draenei who'd collapsed.

"I said we were done, Apprentice," Modera snapped at the elf. The girl ducked her eyes but continued to shoot glances at Kalec.

"She okay?" Kalec asked.

"Bit overworked is all."

"Mmfine," the girl said. Her hooves clomped awkwardly on the floor as she tried to sit up. Kalec gave her a hand and Modera handed her a conjured glass of juice. She blinked at Kalec then blushed and stammered "T-thank you."

"Should I call your master?"

"No," the girl said. "I'm fine. Did too much again."

"Take a moment, Miri." To the rest of the class she said. "While I appreciate the enthusiasm, I don't want you passing out."

"Sorry," the girl, Miri, l said. "I didn't realize how tired I was until everything went sideways." She scowled. "I thought it had it."

"To be fair, you almost did. Drink this," Modera said, patting her on the shoulder and handing her a conjured glass of juice. "Alright you lot, circle up. We're going to go over what we've learned." She shot a look at Kalec. "Shirt."

Kalec, looked down, realized the issue, rolled his eyes and conjured another top.

"Aw."

He looked back at the class but they were mostly gossipping and jostling one another with no indication of who'd spoken. Except for a few intense stares from some of the same students as well as new ones, their expressions still weren't hostile at least. Kalecgos sighed and took a seat near where Modera had summoned a chair.

"What'd we learn?"

"Miri can't hold a shield!" came from one of the boys in the back.

"Screw you, Kenji!" the girl spat back.

"Settle!" Modera snapped before the bickering could continue. "Helly?"

The gnome girl lowered her hand. "His shield was weird. When-"

"He's a dragon. Of course it's weird!" one of the other gnomes said.

Modera gestured and the boy suddenly lost the use of his voice. "You've been warned not to interrupt Kenji. Go on Helly."

"As I was saying," she said with a pointed look at the now-silenced classmate, "When people focused it, uh, worked better. I think."

"Why do you think that is?" Modera asked. "Anyone?"

A lanky human boy with the scraggly beginnings of a beard raised his hand. Kalec recognized him as one of the last standing, the apparently leader of the other coordinated group.

"Nerin?"

"He was redistributing the effects of our firepower and... "

"And?"

"Using our own power against us?" he said, though it came out more like a question. Some of the other students scoffed and make comments under their breath.

"What drew you to that conclusion, Nerin?"

"I was trying to watch his magic? Everytime it was hit by something there was a flare and it sort of... You know how you can have two waves collide and sometimes it's a bigger wave? It felt like that."

The class reacted with scoffing and eye rolling from some quarters, from others the students looked thoughtful. A few were entirely and utterly bored.

"Well?" Modera asked him.

"He is correct," Kalec said.

"Ha!" Nerin said, directing the laugh at one of his detractors.The other boy, a human rolled his eyes dismissively.

"Apparently teenage drama is universal," Kalec said quietly to Modera. She grinned in response.

"Over the weekend you are all, except for Miri and Brekka, to not only do evocations," she said, calling out two of the trio of girls who'd been the last ones standing. The rest of the class groaned. "You are going to research the sort of shield Archmage Kalec displayed today. My office hours are at the usual time. Ask your masters for assistance if you get stuck. Dismissed!"

The elf girl who'd banished Kalec's shirt placed herself before Modera. "I was part of the last group standing," she said. "I shouldn't have to do the extra work."

"Miss Vera when I call an end, that is the end of the exercise. You hit Archmage Kalec with a high-powered banish well after everyone else stopped and after your friend had dropped the shield protecting you." Modera stared her down and the teenager deflated a little. "In addition to the other work you have this weekend, you are going to write a post-mortem on what you did successfully and how you also were unsuccessful in the larger goals of this class."

"But I didn't!"

"You did. Discovering how it is you chose poorly, I leave to you. We will discuss it next week before class." Modera concluded her statement with a bit more warmth and understanding. "Lady Baihu's a combat mage. Ask your master if you can't figure it out yourself."

The girl scowled and stalked away, the other students parting before her. As eager as they'd been to leave, the class lingered. 

Modera sighed and waved a hand. "Out. Go on. If you're good next week maybe Lord Kalecgos will answer some polite questions, but I am certain all of you have things to do. Shoo!"

Kalec chuckled as the students all shuffled out, excited chatter erupting from the group in bursts of laughter and teasing as they went. The classroom seemed a bit smaller somehow once they were gone.

"You don't have to tell them anything or do any question and answer sessions. I just wanted them to get a move on."

He waved off her concern and began to use his magic to straighten up the classroom. "I'd rather curiosity than hostility. I suppose we'll just have to see how well behaved they are next week," he mused, his thoughts not really on the task at hand. 

His last class of drakes were full adults by now. It had been some time since he'd taken a turn as a full time instructor. Some of those dragons might even have had some of the last nests. If they were still alive. The nightmare last night had been built on a very real worry about his people giving in to despair.

"Gold for your thoughts?"

"Hm? Oh just reflecting. Your students are a lot like the younger drakes and older hatchlings I've taught. I was remembering my last class."

"Many of them still around?" she asked, her tone sober.

"Some. Fewer than I would like," he admitted.

"I know that feeling," Modera said with a sigh. "So I do what I can to make sure they can take care of themselves and one another."

"It is likely that someone of my students fought some of yours," Kalec said.

"I know they did," she said. "For good or Ill I've had a hand in training almost every Kirin Tor battlemage under the age of forty."

There was nothing to say to that. He stacked the targets back in the corner where they'd been standing at the beginning of the class with his magic.

"The girl who nearly passed out- Will her master be angry?"

"Miri? No. The girl's constantly trying to push herself to do more and be better. She's reaching beyond her power levels. Too early to say if she'll grow into more power or if she's hit her limit, but she keeps pushing herself."

"Better to push a little than not at all. Do they usually bicker so much?"

"Today was well behaved. All of them are trying to be older than they are, more mature than they are. Or at least they're trying to act in a way they _think_ is mature. At least until they forget."

Kalec chuckled. "That too seems to be universal. What was the take home work you were having them do and am I expected to do so as well?"

"Yes, actually." She pulled a stone from her robes and handed it over. "Beginning target stone. Hit this at a distance of fifty yards. For you, I'll say fifty of each of the major schools. It will glow blue when you've completed all three." She then showed him how to get it to project how many strikes he had remaining for the exercise to be complete and how to reset the data.

"This is like the blackboard data analysis."

"Mmhm. Training tool. Repetition is important as I mentioned and the size is fairly small which is good for target practice. The more advanced classes have ones that are more complex and move around. I'm told the elves developed these for use in some kind of competitive spellcasting. My master made all the mages he trained with use them and tracked our ability to be accurate. Was useful enough in the wars we made it part of the system and refined it over the years. Also means the kids can't shirk their assignments, but of course one tries every year."

"Do all the students here learn this?"

"Recently, yes. When Jaina was a student it was optional. Antonidas had her do the basic class and she never had more than a passing academic interest in warcasting as I understand it. She's mostly self-taught."

"Was she your student?"

"No. I was in the field then, but it was the curriculum I'd worked on with the other battlemages."

"How'd I do today?" he asked as he pocketed the stone.

"Not bad at all. How'd you think it went?"

"It's interesting. They're far less powerful than I would have guessed but hatchlings and drakes are different. I think the exercise is good for them. It was interesting to see them begin to coordinate and try to solve the problem."

"The power will come with time."

"And they'll have the basics to build on," he said, nodding in agreement. "So far while the details and techniques are different, the goals and concepts are the same."

"You're not running for the hills."

He laughed. "No. Teenagers are teenagers no matter the race it seems. Lot of posturing and being entirely sure they have figured things out and the adults are just blind to the entirely obvious conclusions they've come to and so on. Sound about right?"

Modera laughed. "I hope you don't mind me blatantly using your vast power to knock them down a peg or two."

Kalec shrugged a shoulder. "So long as they're learning something other than to hate blue dragons and so long as it isn't causing trouble."

"If any of their masters has an issue they can take it up with me," Modera stated. She eyed him "Something else on your mind?"

"There is a group that seems to really hate me. The rest didn't seem bothered. It's not perfect but I'll take what I can get." he sighed. "The rest will come with time too, I suppose. I appreciate you giving me the opportunity."

Modera inclined her head. "The more I thought about it, the more sense it made to make some use of your expertise and knowledge. I won't claim to be entirely comfortable with it all, but the logical thing is to integrate you into Dalaran. So for me that means diving into the middle until I am able to be comfortable. I avoided it for far too long. Time to deal." She offered him a sidelong smirk "That might seem illogical but it works for me. As for some of the students hating? I'll keep an eye on it," she said, rising to her feet. "Take a look at the notes I wrote and enjoy the weekend. I have office hours at the start of the week and you might as well show up to see how I do those at least. Hours are at one and class is at two."

Kalec inclined his head. "I'll be there."

Modera smiled. "Good. Good. I've a meeting to attend in about half an hour and I need to be in Pandaria. These rooms are free to use for practice when there isn't a class so feel free whener you like. Schedule's posted on the door.."

They bid one another farewell and Kalec headed for Jaina's office.

* * *

Kalec paused in the open doorway and watched her for a moment. Jaina was studying a scroll on her desk, casually spinning the lead stylus she held in one hand, the other had a finger wrapped around a long white lock of hair. She bit her lower lip as she read. The late afternoon light gave her snow-white hair a golden shimmer.

Jaina realised someone was at the door and looked up, expression spreading into a smile when she saw him. He thought he could get lost in the sparkle of her eyes, blue like a calm day.

"How was class?"

"Good. I didn't embarrass myself or set any of the students on fire. Modera seemed surprisingly pleased." He pushed away from the doorway and hovered uncertainly before Jaina gestured and summoned a chair so he could still across from her. 

"Did Modera give you any assignments this weekend?"

"She did. I have homework, I think it is called. Hitting this," he said, pulling out the stone. "There was the most remarkable data analysis spell displaying statistics on the slate in the classroom."

"Oh I know! It's amazing! Modera has her classrooms setup to record information to a crystal. Some of the senior battlemages have competitions to see who is best. It's actually fascinating how the whole process evolved from a game. Kael told me about it years ago."

Her eyes lit up as she spoke. He'd missed this when she'd been distant. Unless he was greatly mistaken, she'd missed it as well. She curled her hands around his, tracing his fingers and drawing random designs on his palm with her own as she related what'd she'd been taught. He listened quietly, watching her face as she spoke. Jaina had been happy to see him and she loved sharing information but she was winding down faster than expected.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, capturing her hands in his.

She smiled, but dropped her eyes. "Good. I am feeling much better in just about every way I can think of." She caught his fingers with her own, twining them together. "I might even be back to normal faster than I'd anticipated."

"I'm glad, but don't push yourself," he said, thinking of the girl who'd nearly passed out during class. He thought she sounded truthful, but she was biting her lip again. There was something on her mind.

Smiling, she rubbed her thumb along the inside of his wrist. "I'll be careful. It's been nice to get back to normal and to be able to pick up my duties." She sighed. "There is a new one. I would appreciate your help with it."

"Of course."

She drew in a breath, then let it out. "We heard from the teams who crossed through the portal," Jaina explained. "They've almost made landfall and Khadgar is going to be opening portals for us to send more supplies through so they can build a proper beachhead garrison." Her fingers trailed over his skin, featherlight, the repetitive motion was pensive.

"Does he need help with the portal?"

She nodded. "I want to go. Help anchor from the Stormwind side. I-" she stopped and closed her eyes again, trembling very slightly.

Kalec rose and gently pulled her to her feet and away from the desk. She was shaking. He enfolded her in his arms, shielding her from the empty room and whatever spectres haunted her, though he had a good guess what was so troubling. Kalec stroked fingers through her hair and gently rubbed his hands over her back before just holding her securely. "You're going to be okay, beloved."

She nodded silently, but her grip on his shirt and his back were desperately tight. He tucked her head under his chin, unsure what else he might do for her. She took a deep breath then let it out, then again.

"Thank you for being here."

He kissed her temple. "This is where I want to be."

"I can't go. I can't hunt him down," she said, her voice very soft and small. "I want to go, but I shouldn't. I love you more than I want to kill him. I want to be myself more than I want to kill him." She sniffed. "And yet I feel guilty."

"Guilty?"

"So many of my friends died. People I loved. People who trusted me. They died and I'm here. I know what I need to do, I should stay away, but there is still a part of me struggling not to lash out. Not to just hunt him down."

Kalec held her more tightly. The pain in her voice tore at his heart and he didn't know how to help, which hurt. The past week with her had been so good. He felt so much better to be doing something, to be building something, to be seeing her smile again.

"I won't go. Khadgar and Zaliya will handle things. I am choosing what is right for me." She sniffed again. "But I'm here and alive to handle silly logistical issues and read books and-" she took a breath then let it out at the same meditative pace. "I'm here to fall further in love and build a life. So many aren't. And it's been only just over a year and there are so few people who will remember my home as it lived. The memorial is going to happen and all anyone will remember is how it ended. Just a crater."

Ah. The memorial and also being reminded that Garrosh was still at large had probably led to this reaction. Kalec loved she cared so much, but it was hurting her right now, becoming guilt to weigh her down. He made a soothing noise and resumed stroking her back. "Beloved," he called, tilting her face up so her eyes met his. "You lived. Vereesa lived. You got all the children and their minders away from the blast. Would anyone who is now gone want you to be sad forever? Kinndy? Pained? Tervosh?" He'd only known them personally for a short time, but he sincerely doubted it. The mages had been logical and had loved her as a friend and teacher. Her bodyguard had been devoted to seeing Jaina live.

After a moment Jaina shook her head slightly. No they'd not have wished misery. He leaned down and kissed her gently. "We have lost so much, but we aren't gone yet, are we?" He stroked her hair behind her ear then gently stroked the side of her face. She shook her head again.

"I know, Kalec. I know but my heart still aches."

"I know, beloved. I know." He kissed her hair. "It will be okay. The pain will ease."

"I- I don't know how I will react. Seeing it again. I visited before I want to Pandaria. With Vereesa. It was so dead, Kalec. So lifeless. Maybe it won't be so bad when we get there. Maybe something will have been able to take root."

He hugged her close. "If I thought of a way to help with that, to make it look less desolate, would you be willing to let me?"

"Yes." She nodded. 

He kissed her hair again. "Let me see what I might find, then."

"Okay," she said. "I trust you. Anything would be better than... It was just rock and rubble."

Kalec hoped his dream conversation had been real. He didn't want to give her false hope in case it had all be the product of his imagination. He nuzzled her hair.

"I will help you hold the portal open for Khadgar. You can help him with that and with support from Dalaran."

"I need to stay here on Azeroth," she said with conviction. "It's the logical thing to keep from being hurt by Garrosh again. Pained would approve. So would Kinndy."

"I think the rest of your people would agree, beloved." He kissed the end of her nose. "It makes me happy to see she who is dear to me happy and smiling again. My burdens don't seem so heavy when we find things to laugh and smile about."

Jaina smiled. It was a bit watery but it was genuine. She took another little meditative moment then let out a long breath, steadier than it had been before. "I'll be okay. We'll be okay."

He lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them. "We will. When does Khadgar's portal open?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"We'll be there then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming to the last chapters of this fic. I've been writing up sequel things which has been fun, hopefully some of you will follow over there next. It features awesome WoW ladies being awesome (Jaina, Vereesa and Modera) and dragons, because I love dragons. I've also been mentally connected this fic to some of the others I have been writing so I made a series here on Ao3. There are three plotlines currently in parallel, what Alexstrasza is doing, what Jaina and Kalecgos are doing and what Wrathion is doing. Reading the others isn't compulsory in any way, it's just fun for me to kinda loosely connect them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaina and Kalecgos make plans for the future and assist the Draenor Expedition. Jaina and Anduin speak about difficult things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued clicks and kudos and comments! Work has finally let up enough I could finish up this section.

Jaina managed to collect herself enough she felt she could finish work for the day. Kalec found something interesting to read and stretched out on the couch in the little seating area in her office. Normally he sat in the common area. She smiled at him, grateful he was just a little bit closer. The tightness in her chest had hit all at once, the feeling of falling forever, of drowning. He'd caught her and held her until she'd found her feet again. Having him remain near helped her feel steady.

When they left her office that evening he continued the same, quiet, gentle strength. He'd escorted her to dinner so she wouldn't have to worry about cooking and dishes, always within reach if she needed. He spent the meal telling her some of the more amusing stories of the hatchlings and drakes he'd taught. By the end of dinner she felt fairly normal once more. The tight feeling in her chest had eased, and she felt the same sort of lightness she felt after speaking with Yu-len. 

She stopped him with a hand on his chest once they'd returned to her apartment. Their home now, she mentally corrected. Jaina smiled then leaned up on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you for being there. That was exactly what I needed." He caught her hands and enfolded them in his.

"I'm glad."

She smiled. "I pulled some floorplans for currently open residences. I also found out what expansions this apartment can make. I want you to have your own research space. Whatever you need to feel at home with me." She dropped her eyes. "I don't know I can create a space large enough for your true shape here so I started looking at some of the other empty spaces in the city. We have fewer permanent residents than I'd like at the moment but it opens up some opportunities for us. I spoke with the head of city planning and there are a few places where we might be able to combine living units and add some dimensional expansion spells to make a space large enough." Jaina realized she was rambling and fell silent. 

He tilted her head up with a gentle touch. "You would move for me? I don't want to displace you."

"My lab isn't so hard to move. I-" she swallowed down the ache. "I don't have much here that's actually mine. Or it is but it's... It came with the housing." Jaina tapped his chest with light fingers. "Wherever you are I'll find home. It might actually be good. A fresh start for me. Us. This is just where I landed after." She stopped speaking as he kissed her forehead, a gentle press of his lips reminding her she was loved and safe.

"I hadn't thought it might be possible to have space large enough for me to be my larger shape. I was content with humanoid sized spaces. But it does sound appealing to have a space where I might be able shift shape without having to leave the city."

She smiled and nodded. "Want to look at some of the options? I, ah, may have actually been thinking about what we could do with a larger place. A larger lab. Larger library. I haven't lived anywhere with a large library in years. Even- even in Theramore it wasn't as large as I'd have liked."

"It'd be nice to move some of my scrolls from Coldarra," he mused, tucking her arm into his. "Let's take a look."

She summoned the documents to her and they spread the plans out on the dining room table she'd never liked the look of but hadn't cared enough to replace because she'd never had guests over. The furniture in her home was light and airy with lots of metal scrollwork. It was beautiful but she'd preferred the look and feel of carved wood under her fingers and the comfort of simpler, more solid-looking designs. Dark wood, deep chairs and cozy nooks near a window or by the hearth was what she wanted. Quiet, homey, quiet space she could retreat to. The furniture here was noisy and not at all good for an afternoon of reading. 

They made tea and began to look over the options in the city. As a city of mages they had more options at their disposal than more traditional locations. Kalec had a few scrolls floating in front of him as he examined several plans.

"Do you have preferences for anything?" she asked. 

"In terms of what?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Furniture. Colors. Accessories. This is your home too." If he liked this style she could compromise and put what made her comfy in her personal lab space or a corner of the personal library she was already daydreaming of.

He thought a moment then dropped his eyes, rubbing the back of his head. "Well I haven't ever furnished a human-style house. I have liked the deep chairs in the common area outside your office. They're wonderful for reading. And I like how we both fit on the couch in your parlor, but I'm not particular. Well, except-" He looked up. "Would it be possible to get a larger bed?"

"Oh?" 

"I think I am a little too tall for yours."

"Oh, Kalec, I'm sorry I didn't realize." The bed she had was fine for her but it was on the snug side for two people. And now that he'd mentioned it he did tend to hang off when he sprawled. Cuddling was nice, but she imagined it would also be nice if he could stretch out comfortably. She leaned up on her toes to kiss him. "We'll get something better. And we'll make sure all the chairs are comfy as well."

Kalec smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands were warm against her skin. "If it's on the table, how difficult would it be to get something slightly taller?"

"Taller?"

"Mmhmm." He nodded. Long fingers began to stroke the exposed skin of her sides. "I can think of some very interesting possibilities if the bed was just a little bit taller."

"Oh really? And what interesting possibilities are these?"

"I could demonstrate the general idea?" he offered before leaning down to capture her lips with his own. "Or I could hold that thought. We could just be close? You were unsettled earlier."

"I feel much better now, though." She wound her arms about his waist. "How about we start with close? We can make some magical adjustments to the bed I have so even lanky dragons like you can fit comfortably."

He laughed. "I'd appreciate that, actually. And maybe a taller backboard so it's more comfy to read in. Oh! I know this really great reading light spell if we can get sconces for crystals."

"Mmm if I wasn't already in love, I would be right now. Lord Kalecgos you're saying all the right things," she joked.

"Well, turnabout is fair play, Lady Proudmoore." He gently tilted her head up again. "You were talking libraries I might even be able to stretch out in."

"And cozy nooks and I'd love a real fireplace but a crystal with an illusion is less flammable and just as comfy in winter."

"Oooh, keep talking." He waggled his eyebrows at her. 

Jaina fell into a fit of giggles and hugged him close. She'd be okay.

* * *

The evening before Jaina and Kalecgos left for Stormwind Modera offered to go but Jaina had stuck with her decision to be the one to help. She decided she would go and she would get through it and then she would spend some time with Anduin and Varian. She'd promised Anduin she'd visit after all. Jaina had the new hearthstone for Anduin so at least she'd get to give that to him. She would focus on how nice it would be to see him and Varian again rather than the ongoing expedition in Draenor. Her dreams that night were still troubled and she lay in bed for hours before dawn.

Kalec had agreed to fly at least part of the way. Even for a dragon it was a flight of many hours and they had a schedule to keep, but part of Jaina needed to have a calm moment to collect herself before she faced what she needed to do. Flying with Kalec gave her that opportunity.

When they arrived at the landing in Dalaran, Kalec kissed her swiftly then stepped away to resume his dragon shape, dipping a shoulder for her. She smiled and climbed onto his back, holding tight as he launched into the air. Northrend's skies were cool and clear, the wind from their flight blowing away the few tears that had formed and clearing her head. For a moment she was untethered from her duties and pains. Below them, the crystalline snow sparkled white and purple in dawn's light. She wondered if this was why Khadgar liked flying as a raven. The change in perspective and cool winds were calming. Kalec opened a portal large enough for him and they appeared in the air over the sea off the coast of Stormwind.

Jaina sighed as she smelled the familiar air. Kul Tiras had once been in these seas as well. The island nation had moved somewhat during the Cataclysm. She'd heard all was well from her cousin but she'd been busy with her own people and had only visited a handful of times. She missed the sea; the crash of waves against the shoreline, the smell of salt in the air, the ebb and flow of the tides. The sounds on the shore when she'd been back weren't the ones she'd grown up with. They weren't the sounds in Theramore either. After her last visit she'd returned to her own tower, glad to be home and hadn't been back since. Only on quiet nights could one hear the sea from Stormwind castle, but it was entirely absent in Dalaran. She missed the sea lulling her to sleep. Now though, she went to sleep with Kalec's soft breath on her shoulder, his arms around her waist. It wasn't the sea but she found the soft, content rumbling noise he made to be comforting. Jaina wasn't quite home yet in Dalaran, but it was becoming so for her.

She could feel massive muscles shift and move as Kalec adjusted his great wings. The salty air swept over the both of them as he glided across the ocean, approaching shore. There was something endlessly fascinating about seeing things from his perspective. Flight was something he did as naturally as breathing, the motions of his wings both powerful and delicate as he made minute corrections. It was much like how he controlled magic; powerful, effortless and elegant yet unassuming.

The bustle on Stormwind's docks drew her from her woolgathering. The docks were covered in people from all races of the Alliance. There were craftspeople and animals and crates and soldiers. Ships had arrived to debark more people and supplies and tall ships of elven and human design bobbed in the water beside gnomish steam-powered vessels. Controlled chaos reigned as the expedition ordered itself in preparation for Khadgar's portal. On the high landing above the gilded lion head in the center of the docks, Jaina could see the cluster of courtiers that usually indicated Varian or Genn or some other leader was in the area. Anduin's golden wind-tousled hair emerged from the pack. He lifted a hand and waved.

Kalec shifted his wings, slowing his flight as he approached, looking for somewhere to land. He circled overhead, briefly stopping much of the traffic on the docks, before he neatly set down in the space which had been left clear for the portal. It was a tight fit for a dragon as large as he was but he landed gracefully and dipped a shoulder for her. Jaina dropped the distance to land on her feet then reached out a hand. He transformed swiftly, an unconscious showing of incredible power, and took her hand with a gentle smile. Together they ascended the steps.

"Jaina! Kalec!" Anduin called, hurrying over to greet them. He hugged her and Jaina squeezed him back.

"I brought you a new hearthstone," she said. Jaina pulled the bag with the stone from her robes and handed it to him.

He smiled brightly, accepting the gift. "Thank you. I'll try not to appear during any clandestine negotiations," he said, keeping his voice low. He winked and they shared a quiet laugh.

"I'm sure your father's heart will thank you." She squeezed his shoulder. "Speaking of Varian, we should probably see what the plan is."

"He's with the others, come on," he said, leading the way.

Varian greeted them briefly from the center of the various logistics officers, quartermasters, guard captains and crafters. Greymane was present amid a gaggle of Gilneans two deep while the night elf representative was a sentinel Jaina was not immediately familiar with. Anduin was called away by his father, leaving the two alone until Queen Moira, representing the dwarves, finished speaking with her people and came over to greet them.

"I'm glad to see you up and looking well, Lady Jaina," she said with a small smile. 

Jaina smiled back. "Thank you, your highness. It's good to be up and around."

Moira looked over the crowd then back. "We'll get this mess with Hellscream sorted."

"I'm certain we will," Jaina said. They would find Garrosh. Stop whatever mad plan he'd enacted with the bronze dragon's help. She closed her eyes and took a breath in then let it out slowly. She would be fine here. She found Kalec's hand and let that help steady her too. She would be fine. Khadgar and the rest would handle things and she would support from here. She opened her eyes and squeezed Kalec's hand.

Moira tilted her head slightly, evaluating her, expression serious. The dwarf took a step closer and spoke to Jaina as she looked out over the chaos of the docks, her voice pitched for Jaina's ears alone.

"You're made of stern stuff, Lady Proudmoore. Solid and true. It's something I've always admired about you, one peer to another. But even the earth shifts and moves when there's a quake. But such is life. Change will always happen even if we don't particularly want what it brings."

Jaina let out a rueful little laugh. "So I have seen. So we all have seen."

"Aye. lots of change and hardly time to process it," Moira agreed. "Azeroth lives and changes and is not the same again. The views we knew are gone. New fault lines emerge and old ones fade. They're annoying but we have to live with them and we learn to be alert and how to handle things. Azeroth isn't healthy unless she has some room to breathe. Give yourself some room to breathe, Jaina." She sighed. "When everything collapses, it's good to remember that even stone isn't permanent." Moira smiled to herself. "And there might even be light at the end of that caved in tunnel."

Jaina bowed her head slightly. "I understand, your highness."

Moira's lips twisted in a small half smile. "I've been in some dark places m'self. If you need an ear to bend, you only need to send a note. Leaders such as we should stand together."

"Thank you."

Moira inclined her head then returned to the cluster of waiting advisors and representatives.

Jaina watched her go for a moment. Moira had also made mistakes and had been hurt, viciously, by those closest to her and those who should have been allies. And she stood on the other side, proud and unbroken, respected as a leader in her own right. Her dark irons were becoming more accepted among their Bronzebeard and Wildhammer kin. Among the dwarves on the docks below there was a good mix of all three of the clans. Maybe there was some hope for Kalec and other blues to be accepted in Dalaran then. She squeezed Kalec's hand.

Anduin rejoined them. "It's been awhile since you've been able to visit us here in Stormwind, Aunt Jaina. Will you be able to stay for a little while? Both of you if you'd like?"

"I'd be delighted to stay awhile. Kalec are you free or are you needed in class?"

"I should have some time. I have an errand to take care of this afternoon, but I should be free until then."

"Class?"

Kalec smiled and began to tell Anduin about what he'd been doing with Archmage Modera's class. Jaina laughed as he recounted how he'd ended up losing his shirt. She'd not heard that part of the story before.

Jaina noticed the trickle of power half a second after Kalec did, their eyes snapping to the same point in space. It was strange and gritty against her arcane senses.

"I believe that might be our cue," Jaina said. "There is a portal imminent."

"They're right on time," Anduin agreed. "I'll let father know."

"We'll be making our way down," Jaina said. They descended the steps then took up positions ready to assist Khadgar and Archmage Zaliya.

Above them, Varian strode forward and began to address the crowd.

"Today you embark on a dangerous journey. You have answered the call and pledged your service to the Alliance. For that, we thank you," Varian said nodding at the other leaders.

Jaina was focused on the feel of that tentative magical point in space. It grew stronger, like a train approaching from the end of a long tunnel, terrifying and impressive all at once. 

"We know there is an army on the other side of this portal. That force means to invade Azeroth but we will stop them! We will free those they have enslaved! We will dismantle their war machine!"

The gritty feeling grew then suddenly dispersed as the portal opened onto a green moonlit glade. She reached out as Kalec did and they focused on the joint working, bearing some of the load and anchoring the Azeroth terminus. Jaina sank into the working, meshing and matching her power to Kalec's. Khadgar and Zalia felt distant as was usual for sending magic across a portal. The magic gained a gritty quality as it flowed through to her side and she made a mental note to ask Kalec about it later.

She caught Khadgar's eye as he and Zaliya stepped out from the front of the portal and to either side. He bowed his head in acknowledgement and thanks. She returned the little nod then focused on her work so the veritable army they'd assembled could cross. Chanting and gesturing, she matched the other three mages and together they held the portal open and stable.

Finally the last of the expedition crossed. Khadgar and Zaliya stepped in front of the portal again, the aperture shrinking as the drew the casting inwards. Khadgar spoke. "Jaina! I'll be in contact with the council soon!"

Jaina nodded. "Be careful, both of you."

"We will," Zaliya assured her, the dark-furred worgen flashing her a quick smile.

"And if you need backup, Modera is just itching to join you!" Jaina called across. The portal shrank to a close over Khadgar's laughter. 

The connection severed, Jaina staggered. Kalec even took a step back then crossed the distance to catch her arm before she fell to the ground. With his help she sank to her knees then sat on the stone. The word spun and she suddenly felt hungry, drained and like her head was full of cotton; a sure sign she'd burned more magic than she probably should have. A mug was pressed into her hands and she blinked up at Kalec who urged her to drink what he'd conjured. He sat beside her on the stone with a sigh.

"Thank you." They leaned against one another as they both sipped conjured juice. "That was a very large working," she observed.

"And a long one," Kalec said. He didn't look as worn as Jaina felt but even he wa recovering.

She leaned against his side. "Long? How long we were working?"

"We held it open for close to two hours by my count," Kalec said, eyeing the sun.

"For a portal of that size across space and time? Not bad," she mused, smiling. It had been good work, satisfying work.

"Not at all since you're still recovering," he reminded her with a small nudge of his shoulder. "That was very well done. How are you feeling?"

"I feel like I'm hungover," she told him with a little laugh. "So I probably need something to eat and some sleep but otherwise fine," she said. "I don't feel as weak as I did after what happened in Pandaria," she added softly. "Tired but good, not weak."

"But how are you feeling?" he asked, his voice equally soft.

Jaina blew out a long breath. "Good," she finally decided. "It hurts but it's not so sharp."

"Good," he said, leaving a light kiss against her temple.

"Jaina!" 

She looked up and gave Varian and Anduin what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "I'm fine," she said as they approached. Queen Moira trailed behind them. She should probably rise but the ground was nice and stable.

"Did everyone go through?" Jaina asked. "I'm fine Anduin." she smiled at the concerned Prince. His hands glowed with a faint golden halo and she waved him off. 

"All our people and supplies crossed over," Varian said.

"And with any luck we'll be hearin' from 'em soon enough," Moira added. "I should be gettin' back t'Ironforge. Let the rest of the council know how it went. Varian. Anduin. Archmages." She inclined her head to each of them then turned and strode off, her two guards falling in behind her.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Anduin asked. "You both look a bit pale."

"Well I don't think either of us would say no to lunch," Jaina told him. She and Kalec got to their feet.

"Join us then," Anduin invited. "It's good to see you in Stormwind again, Auntie."

She hugged his shoulder. "It's good to be here."

They had lunch in the palace. Anduin hovered a bit at the beginning, watching her with worried eyes. She'd caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror as they walked and couldn't blame him. But while she could admit she looked looked drawn and pale, she felt good inside. She smiled and swing the hand holding Kalec's, winking up at him when he arched an inquisitive eyebrow. 

As the two mages ate and began to feel better, and probably look better, Anduin relaxed a little. Jaina and Varian exchanged amused looks over the boy's head as he insisted Kalec have thirds, but she was proud. He was a caretaker and healer through and through and that was not a bad thing for a leader to be. After lunch Varian was called away to a meeting, and Kalec decided to take the opportunity to handle his Dragonflight related errand, promising to be back by dinner if not earlier. Jaina decided to remain in Stormwind and take the opportunity to visit with Anduin and explain the new hearthstone. He wasn't entirely engaged in the conversation however.

"Is there something wrong?"

Anduin looked up, surprised then shook his head, but his answer was just a little hesitant. "No, nothing Auntie."

"Are you certain?" she asked. "You look like you have something on your mind."

He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I have a lot of things on my mind, Aunt Jaina. So much I'm not even sure what to consider first."

She sat on the low stone wall around the little inner courtyard garden and patted the empty space beside her. "Maybe I can help."

He took the seat she'd offered and began to turn the hearthstone around in his fingers as he collected his thoughts.

"Is it something about me?"

"Not exclusively," he admitted. "You and father and Baine and Tyrande and Moira and Vol'jin and Go'el and the Dragons and the Pandaren... The Horde and the Alliance and what's going on with this alternate Draenor. There's a lot on my mind."

"A lot has gone on."

"Yes." He spoke hesitantly, as if feeling the waters."The trial... It was ultimately something good wasn't it?"

"I-" she broke off as a flash of pain squeezed phantom fingers around her chest. He'd tested the waters and she was unexpectedly drowning. Her final moments had been so dark and cold and loveless. So much regret over what she'd left undone and who she'd abandoned.

"Auntie?" Anduin's hand was warm on her shoulder. "Please, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. I just..." She took a deep breath in then let it out slowly then again. "I didn't mean to worry you," she said when she felt more steady. "Sometimes I feel completely fine and then suddenly I'm not. It's been like that for awhile now. Not just the trial but everything."

"I still have nightmares about the bell. Now I'm having nightmares about the end of the trial," he admitted. "Father's thrown himself into pulling together our part of this expedition and dealing with clearing out the last of the invaders from the Portal. He's seemed better with something to do. That's how he works things out; acting."

"Ultimately he just wants you and everyone in the kingdom to be safe and prosperous. Varian's a good king."

"Even though we've been at one war or another for so long?" Anduin asked.

"What do you think?" Jaina asked, turning the question back on him.

He looked at his hands then off into the distance and over the sea. "I think that he did what he felt was best for our people given the information and circumstances he had. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

Anduin nodded. "Mostly. He's... He's had a lot of hate for a long time. And it was hard even for me to see why it was bad because he was trying to protect us. Protect me. He's lost a lot in his life. Had a lot taken. That hurt him. So even if he wanted to do good, people were still hurt. But I've seen him consider more now. Some of his advisors really don't like it that he let the Horde leaders go after Orgrimmar. That he isn't personally out there hunting down Garrosh. Some of our allies."

Jaina winced. She'd been an ally who'd been howling for blood. So had Genn. So had two thirds of the dwarven council. Jaina had been astonished that Moira had agreed with Varian's choice.

"I'm proud of him," Anduin said. "Now more than ever. He led us in war when we needed to fight in Icecrown and against Deathwing and against Garrosh. He's trying to lead us in more peaceful times. It's hard for him. He wants to strike out, I can see it in his eyes, but he's been more moderate." Anduin smiled, open and happy and with tangible relief. "He's been listening to me. To us. To what we've been saying about trying to work out our differences with words rather than with weapons. We weren't wrong, Auntie." He turned hopeful eyes towards her and she felt the same phantom hand close around her heart again. "We weren't wrong."

He'd never stopped including her even when she'd gone out of her way to avoid him. Because she'd taught him to seek peace. Because he was kind and good and would have talked her away from the rage she'd been holding onto. He'd never stopped believing in his father and he'd never stopped believing in her.

Jaina let out a shaky breath, her eyes burning with unshed tears. Anduin's face contorted in startlement and concern before he relaxed into compassion and sympathy. No judgement or anger. He pulled her into a bear hug and Jaina let the tears fall as she hugged him back.

"You've grown up so much."

"I've had really wonderful teachers and protectors." He squeezed her shoulders.

"I haven't been very good lately," she admitted, wiping at her eyes after they released one another. "I'm working on that. That's why I've been returning to Pandaria." She folded her hands in her lap. "I got trapped in my own anger. My own fears. One of the Shado-pan healers is helping me with that."

"There was something wrong? What was it? I could have healed-"

She smiled as she shook her head. She shook his shoulder gently. "No, nothing like that. At least I don't think you could have used the Light for this. I- You'd have to ask one of them." She said then explained what she'd been told by Yu-len about warriors who couldn't let the pain and darkness go.

Anduin blinked at her when she was done with her explanation. "That's brilliant. I should learn this, too. Or suggest it to the people teaching me at the Cathedral. We've had so much war and terror, auntie. I didn't even think- Auntie I am so sorry I wasn't able to help more. You kept... fading. And I didn't know how to fix it! And you helped with me and Father and Father said we should just be here for you like we were for him and you kept slipping away! I didn't know how to help."

She pulled him into fierce hug. "You didn't know. I didn't know how to handle it. I was so angry and I couldn't let it go and couldn't escape it. I had so much _taken_."

"That's what father said. He said he understood. Like with him we just needed to keep trying to talk like you and I did for him. But I was so afraid we weren't good enough."

"You were good enough. You all were. I was the one who needed to choose. Like Varian did. I just... didn't realize I had the choice to make. I was so very lost but now I have someone helping me see the path. I'm still finding my way back." She laughed and it was a watery sound. "Yes, I think the trial was good. We all had revelations, I think."

They held one another for a few minutes and Jaina was so glad she was able to speak to him, to speak to Varian and Kalec and set things right, to feel more like her old self, to be alive. 

"I understand your father more," she said into the silence. "Why it was so hard for him to understand when I kept up the mantra of peace and understanding."

"But you believe again, right?" Anduin asked, eyes full of wide hope.

Jaina took a deep breath and let it out. "I don't know," she said honestly. "The idea... It's like a lighthouse on the sea. There's land there, but dangerous rocks lie in the water."

"Believing doesn't require you know how to get there," Anduin said.

Jaina laughed and hugged him. "No I suppose it doesn't. When did you become so wise?"

"Maybe I'm just naive."

"No. No you've seen and done more in your life than so many others have already. You've seen the worst this world has to offer and you continue to believe in the best of us. Don't lose that. Don't ever let someone take it from you."

"Auntie. Jaina." He held her shoulders and met her eyes, his expression older and more serious than she'd expected from the child she'd taken under her wing. How marvelous it was that he was now the wise one offering support and counsel. "Don't let him take it from you either."

She nodded, wiping at her eyes. "I suppose it would be the best way to undermine all he intended to do. To live well and in defiance of the horrors he visited on everyone."

"Auntie-"

"No. I know. That isn't healthy either. I need to live well for me. But I'm not entirely without anger still. It's a work in progress."

"I suppose I can accept that. But remember that we want you around for you, Aunt Jaina. Me and father and Kalec especially."

She squeezed his shoulder. "How about I aim for pragmatism like your father, you keep pushing for peace, and then we can all see where we can go from there."

"I'm going to drag you both over to my way of thinking," he stated with a straight face. "I have youth and determination on my side."

She burst into laughter, loud and full and wonderful as he smiled impishly. Light above it was so good to feel good. When she settled she studied him for a long moment before speaking.

"Recently the comment was made that peace is a long siege. If you feel like you're being worn down and darkened by all you have seen, maybe your Pandaren teachers can point you towards a healer like I have now. We're making deals with the Shado-pan for the battlemages and others in Dalaran. I think we're going to have to give up a lot of the magical artifacts we found on Thunder Isle, or at least come to new agreements about them. I think it's worth it though."

"I think it will be too," Anduin agreed. His eyes flicked down then back to her, considering something. He shook his head slightly, dismissing the thought, but Jaina saw it lurking in his eyes anyway.

"What?"

He stood and began to pace. "I have an idea, or rather a few. And I don't know if I can do any of them. But I have a lot of ideas."

"What?"

He looked around the courtyard then sat close. Jaina held up a hand to forestall his comment and quickly cast a privacy spell. 

"There. Anyone trying to listen to us will just hear gibberish. What?"

He studied her face for a moment then, with a serious gravity she'd not seen from him before he said, "I want us to talk armistice with the Horde. Maybe even full peace talks."

She felt sick. Her heart raced. She counted to five then backwards as Anduin grew more anxious. "I am feeling defensive and frankly terrified because the last warchief of the Horde did all he did. I know the Horde is not Garrosh. I know this. But part of me is still screaming for vengeance." She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his disappointment. "Give me a moment to process this logically."

He waited patiently as she sorted out the immediate feelings of fury and anger. Hadn't she wanted this for years? Wanted peace? And they might listen now. To a boy. She gritted her teeth. She'd been that boy's teacher and more he'd managed to get to his stubborn father - possibly the only being on Azeroth who could. So they had an ally they hadn't had before.

She'd been hurt. She'd been betrayed. She was not the only one to have been harmed by the other side. The orcs had lived in internment camps, the trolls had suffered under Garrosh as had the Tauren, but the humans and trolls and elves had been at war with one another, off and on for ages. Her heart ached and she felt so weary. She opened her eyes again, expecting disappointment. Instead she found hope. Determination. Belief.

"I'm not the only one who has been hurt and betrayed," she said, slowly.

"We worked together against the Lich King and Deathwing and you and I both know the Horde had their share of betrayals from Garrosh. In the end we worked together. Look at all we have been able to do!"

"This won't be easy."

"Genn would call me a traitor to my face for suggesting it."

"And Varian would take offense."

"And they'd fight and then the Gilnaeans might retreat behind the wall. Or just march on Undercity. But if I speak quietly to my father, if there are other organizations and places in the world who start to turn in that direction," he trailed off.

She winced, her heart speeding up As she understood his implied request. Let the Horde mages back into her city. Let those who'd betrayed her back in close.

"I'm not the only one who decided to purge the Horde from Dalaran," she said, her voice quiet. "I'm not the only one who still feels betrayed."

"I know," he said, and the way her said it she believed him and that it wasn't a platitude. "But... consider it."

She laughed. "From a purely economic standpoint I have actually. Modera's been grumbling about being understrength."

"So you already have some arguments for opening your borders again."

"I can't reverse the decision on my own. I'm not sure it would be wise even now. Not all members of the Horde are as honorable as Baine is. Sunreaver has some serious problems among his people and it isn't just that the betrayal came from his camp. Changing opinions isn't easy either."

"Nothing ever worth doing is, isn't that how the saying goes? We have an opportunity right now. Things are quiet. We're both fighting the Iron Horde but that isn't on our shores. We all fought Garrosh. We all fought Deathwing and Arthas."

Jaina was caught in a sudden flash of memory. The chill winds of Northrend howling in the heights of Icecrown, whipping through her hair, drying the tears on her cheeks. Stubborn Varian, who hated the Horde, allowing Saurfang to taken his son's body home in peace. She'd felt such pride in that moment, such surety that she could maybe achieve her goals.

"So we did."

"We've fought things together as much as we have fought one another. I think if we can stop the skirmishing, we might have a chance. Garrosh undid a lot of the work you did, but not all of it. And we have more allies than we did before. Taran Zhu and the pandaren would love for us to call for ceasefire. They'd probably play arbiter if we asked."

She nodded, eyes following the cracks in the stone as she thought. "They would." They'd been encouraging it even. Some not so subtly.

"Look, Auntie, I know we can't do this in a day. I know it's going take time but the more we wait the more chance we have of being in disarray before- Well before whenever next bad thing happens."

She looked up. "What do you think is going to happen?"

He shrugged. "It's something isn't it?"

"Anduin."

He winced then sighed. "I believe Wrathion. About the Legion."

"The black dragon? The one who nearly killed you?" _The one who helped kill me?_

"Yes."

She blinked at him. "Why?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I believe him. I just have this feeling."

Jaina crossed her arms and shivered. _Let go of the anger_ she thought to herself. Much had been taken from her but she was still alive and loved and Anduin was right. Work she'd done was blossoming into something. Maybe. and Modera had a bad feeling. And Anduin had a bad feeling and even the whelp had claimed he was only doing it because of the Legion. If Jaina was being truthful, she was beginning to feel some of the same billowing portent, dark and low on the horizon. Maybe it was just because of what Modera had confessed. Maybe not.

"I will see what I can do," she finally said. "I don't feel good about this. I won't be the only one. But you're right. We have an opportunity to maybe see an end to people like Garrosh causing more trouble for everyone."

He relaxed, shoulders sagging and the utter relief on his face made the tight fist around her heart unclench.

"Thank you. I know it won't be easy. I know even doing that much can't be easy."

She opened and closed her mouth on a snappish comment, killing it before it could be uttered. This was _Anduin_ and he did not deserve harshness from her. And she didn't want to be harsh with him either. Instead she nodded.

"If Sunreaver can handle his people and if opinions have changed and... I can't promise anything except to be open to the possibility, Anduin. Please don't be too disappointed if nothing happens."

He nodded. "I believe we can do this though. I know there is good in so many people."

She smiled and squeezed his hand then dispersed the privacy spell. 

"So. What are you up to?"

He bobbed a nod, understanding she'd reached her limit and needed the topic changed. "Well, father's having me in more of his logistics meetings. I think it's because he finds them to be the most boring so I get delegated to them," he added as an aside with a flat look.

Jaina laughed and listened, the icy grip on her heart easing back. He believed so honestly and openly in the good of people. Jaina remembered the time, not so very long ago, when she too believed. Maybe he had enough faith to believe for both of them. At least for now.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaina considers Anduin's request regarding Horde mages and consults with Vereesa Windrunner and Archmage Modera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments and for the kudos and subscriptions. Seriously, getting comments and kudos and seeing the bookmark and sub number go up makes my day. Thank you all for sticking around with me some of you long time folks and welcome to the newer folks. I hope you enjoy this part.  
> I try to post once a week, but was delayed a bit trying to edit the beginnings of a sequel and I felt I needed to add the scenes in this chapter rather than moving on to what I had already written for what will probably be the last chapter (unless it becomes so long I split it into two). But hey! I'll be done posting this little AU fic before Legion launches!

Kalec smiled as the scents of Hyjal filled his nose. Flying under the great tree always had a calming effect for him. Perhaps, he thought, it might have the same effect on Jaina. They could walk under the boughs and watch the starlight through the massive branches in a place of calm serenity. He made a mental note to arrange to steal her for an evening. Vereesa could probably counted on to be a conspirator. Possibly Modera. He angled his flight to land under the great trunk beside the Well. There were a few green dragons lounging in the tree's branches, but only a fool would assume they were asleep and unaware. Druids lurked in the branches too, watching for trouble but also communing with the great tree.

Kalec swept into the glade and saw the tiny grove of daughter trees exactly as he'd seen in his dreams. Ysera in her humanoid form walked among the tiny trees with Tyrande Wisperwind. Landing nearby, Kalec shifted into his own humanoid form and approached the others. They exchanged greetings and Kalec reached out to touch one of the trees.

"They're real."

"Ah, so you remembered the dream," Ysera said.

Kalec bobbed a nod. "I came to see. They're healthy? They'll grow and won't be dark?"

"They are quite healthy," Tyrande said, touching one herself. "I am gladdened to see them grow and know they bear the blessings of Nature and we will not fail as we have in the past." She turned her shining eyes on Kalec. "Ysera tells me we might have another place where we can begin to let them grow. One closer to being ready than the others."

"I have spoken with Jaina and if you think Theramore is suitable, she is not opposed to it becoming a place of new growth. She finds the current state of the island distressing."

"I do not blame her," Tyrande said, her voice velvet over steel. She turned to Ysera. "A sapling will need much to put down roots there, however."

"We have been working on a proper ritual," Ysera said, seemingly softer and more in the moment around the trees. "It will involve the magic of the surviving dragonflights as well as those of the shamen and the druids. Together we can help it grow."

"I volunteer for the blue," Kalec said.

"I hoped you would," Ysera said with a light laugh. "The blue was too wounded to help us the first time. None of us have our mantles now, but we have magic to give the world still. When do you think we could attempt to plant one in Theramore?"

"As soon as you are ready. I expect there will be ongoing support for the expedition to Draenor but I just came from Stormwind and now we wait to see what Khadgar and the others need," Kalec said. "However, there is to be a memorial for Theramore soon. It might be fitting to bring it then."

Ysera's eyes drifted out of focus for a moment then she fixed on Kalec. "We shall do it then. I will see to the preparations. Return in two days and we shall go over the spells we will need. If you will excuse me." She smiled and walked off, resuming her dragon form then taking off, heading for the far side of the well and a few greens who'd landed with a large red dragon.

Kalec inclined his head to her as she left, leaving Tyrande and Kalec alone.

"How is your mate?"

Kalec blinked, caught off guard by the question.

"Lady Jaina. How is she?" Tyrande asked.

"Healing. Recovering."

Tyrande nodded. "Good. I am glad for her. The trial was... Hard. Harder for some of us than others. I hope one day she will forgive me for my part in her pain."

"I'm not sure she blames you for anything," Kalec told her.

"What I asked her to do, to recount her loss, was not kind."

"No," Kalec agreed. "But I think it might have been necessary. And kindness was not your task at the trial. We were there- Well we thought we were there for Garrosh. But we were actually there for ourselves. As difficult as it was, I think good will come of it."

"I hope you are correct, Lord Kalecgos."

* * *

Jaina was subdued at the early dinner with Varian and Anduin when Kalec returned to Stormwind. Anduin seemed to be giving her space and while he occasionally looked over in worry, he didn't push her for conversation. The King noticed the tentative dynamic between the two and shot Kalec a quizzical look but he could only shrug. Varian tried to engage Jaina in conversation and soon the two were speaking at length about logistical matters that might arise due to the Draenor Expedition.

"Did something happen?" Kalec asked Anduin, keeping his voice soft.

He seemed to consider his plate then shook his head. "No. I've... I asked her something hard."

"You seem afraid."

He smirked. "I think I am. At the time it _felt_ right. Now I'm not so sure."

"Felt right?"

He nodded. "Sometimes I get a feeling. The priests training me say it's the Light calling me to do something or help in some way. They've encouraged me to listen to the feeling. I'm just wondering if maybe this is something _I_ wanted and I pushed when I shouldn't have."

"What is it?"

He opened his mouth then closed it, shaking his head. "She'll tell you if she wants to, Kalec."

"Should I ask?"

"I don't know," he said, considering the question as he ate a few more bites of dinner. "She loves you, you know." He said instead, his voice still low, not that the two on the other side of the table had heard or noticed.

Kalec smiled, a warm feeling in his chest as he looked over at Jaina. The subdued melancholy of earlier had faded as she spoke with Varian, expression animated, her eyes bright. She caught him looking and arched a quizzical eyebrow. Kalec just smiled and shook his head. She shrugged and smiled back before returning her attention to Varian. The King grinned at her and she rolled her eyes at him as she returned to their topic of conversation.

"You two are ridiculously adorable," Anduin judged. 

"Adorable?"

"Yep. Did you take care of the errand you needed to do?"

Kalec nodded. "I needed to speak with Ysera about something. Or rather I needed to confirm something with her."

"Dragonflight related you mentioned. I hope all is well."

"As well as we can be at the moment," Kalec said. While he was beginning to be more open about what the dragonflights faced, he didn't think telling the young heir of Stormwind was appropriate at this time. Someday perhaps, but not today.

They left Stormwind by portal after dinner. Jaina wished to get some time in her office to check everything had been handled while she was gone. Kalec got the sense that she was procrastinating, just a little bit, but she didn't linger too long over minor tasks. Soon they were walking home, her hand held in his. His consort's mind appeared to be elsewhere as she walked, eyes fixed slightly ahead of them on the stone. Her steps were slow and as they walked the subdued quiet from earlier began to rebuild. Jaina paused briefly at their building, eyes fixed on the softly glowing lamplights. She tugged gently on his hand, leading him inside.

They reached their apartment and Jaina dropped his hand to open the door. She went inside and stopped in the middle of the parlor, the lights still unlit. Her hands had balled into fists, her shoulders squared. Tension had drawn her tight like a bowstring. Kalec closed the door behind them and took two steps closer before stopping. She'd flinched a little when he stepped from the foyer into the room. Did she want him to come closer or not? Did she wish to work out whatever was going on in her head for herself?

Jaina drew in a deep breath, trying to center herself as she'd begun to do. It stuttered on the way out, wet and heavy with unshed tears. Kalec crossed the distance and enfolded her in a tight hug as her composure failed. This was where he needed to be. She wailed into his chest, the vest muffling the sound but not the agony. Her hands clung tightly to him. Kalec stroked her back and hair then began to hum one of the soothing nursery songs he knew. Healing was a process. His beloved was doing well, he was so happy for the steps she'd taken already, but it was not complete yet. 

At length she subsided, her hands loosened their grip and she sagged against him, drained. She tucked her arms against his chest, apparently content to be held and sung to in their moonlit home. He let the song fade and pressed a kiss to her head.

"Sometimes I forget," she said, her voice ragged. "I'll be half asleep and for a moment, I forget. I'll roll over and expect to see my window overlooking the sea, or the door to the hall. Or I'll think 'Isn't that interesting. Tervosh will love to hear about that'. Or I'll hear a creak on the floorboards and think it's Pained trying to make noise so she doesn't startle me out of a book again."

"I'll wake up in the middle of the night and expect to see dark wood and hear the water. The walls are smooth and white and all I can hear is the wind." Jaina's voice hitched but she continued. "I hate this apartment. It was a generous gift and everything matches, but I hate it anyway."

Kalec sent carefully grooming fingers through her hair, the other arm holding her more securely. "We'll choose and furnish our own place," he said. "With warm nooks for reading and an oversized couch so we can curl up together." He kissed her forehead.

Jaina sniffed, one hand coming up to toy with a lock of his hair. He'd begun to notice this was what she did when she was working up the calm or the courage, or both, to speak about something. "Anduin asked me to consider something today."

"He mentioned that but not what." He looped both arms around her.

"He wants an armistice with the Horde. He thinks it will be easier to sell among the Alliance leaders if others start moving in that direction."

He made a noise of understanding and confirmation, letting her know he was there, but waiting for her to speak.

"I kept pushing for that. Or things like it. I wanted grander more permanent things. Harmony. Balance. Peace. A part of me feels cheated that it should happen now when I've turned my back on such things for the last year. But..."

"But?"

"But another part of me thinks this might happen at all because I was Anduin's teacher. It's hard to see him as anything but a child but he's growing up."

"That is true," he said, "I think I hear another 'but' waiting to be said."

"But... I'm afraid."

"Why do you feel that way?"

"Because I committed everything before. My entire life. It was the banner I picked up and carried when I'd been dropped. I carried it until it was shoved down. Then I picked it up. Again and again. I held it."

"What if it happens again?"

She nodded. "I don't want that disappointment for Anduin... or for me. And that isn't even touching the matter of the rest of the council. They might not agree. I'm not sure I have it in my heart to convince them."

"Of course you do."

"Do I?"

"Do you feel is is the right thing to do?"

She shuddered, hand clenching and unclenching. She was fighting a war with herself still. Kalec knew in his heart she would emerge believing as she once did, but that change would not happen all at once. It couldn't after all she'd endured. But he believed that it not only was possible but that she'd chosen to allow it to happen. 

"Yes," she finally answered, the word thin and sad and full of regret. Her shoulders sagged, the tension abruptly gone.

Kalec crooned wordless encouragement and nuzzled the side of her face. "Jaina, you have always done the right thing when it comes to what truly matters."

"I've nearly not."

"Which is more evidence of how truly strong you are at your core, Jaina. The temptation was there but you chose otherwise."

"People are afraid of me. They hate me because of what I almost did. In those other time lines I was not as strong"

"They're afraid because you're powerful and they finally see it, or they feel protective of their own people, just like you are. It still doesn't mean you chose incorrectly. You have turned away from the more violent option when you needed to. Those other timelines do not matter. All that matters to you and me is what you have chosen here. Your choice to turn the tidal wave away. Your choice to call a truce with Lor'themar."

"My choice to purge the Horde."

"Not solely."

"But I am the leader and so I bear the burden of our choice."

"But you ordered people to be deported and imprisoned rather than killed. And at the trial you chose yourself," he said, gently tilting her head up so their eyes met. "You picked your own happiness over hating Garrosh." He smiled a little at her. "You picked me."

She nodded slowly. "I don't know. There's still so much fear."

"They're afraid of me too," he said.

She started to deny it but the 'no' died before it could be voiced. 

"They are. Because I am a dragon. Because I was the Blue Aspect. Because my predecessor wanted to take their power, wanted to make them powerless, take their studies, take their _joy_. Just wanting to see them dead isn't personal. He wanted to take their _magic_. That's terrifying. _I_ found it terrifying. Would he restrict which blue dragons might use magic next?"

"You wouldn't."

"You know me, so you're not afraid." He kissed her forehead. "Live with the idea of allowing the Horde back in for a few days. Let it be familiar again and maybe it won't feel so horrid. Maybe talk it over with someone who might help you dissect the problem rationally."

"Aren't I doing that with you?" she asked, alarm in her voice.

He kissed her swiftly and sweetly. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not. But I think you'll feel better if you're able to talk about it with one of the Council members. It was a group decision and it should be again. Maybe even speak with Vereesa." He tucked her hair behind her ear then gently drew those fingers along her jaw.

She nodded. "I'll think about it. That's all I promised Anduin, anyway."

"And it's a good step to assessing if it can even happen now or if the topic needs to wait or if there are gradual measures you can take where everyone builds trust again."

"I got the sense Anduin doesn't want to wait long. Right now we're unified against Garrosh still, but if we wait..."

"If we wait then there will be new reasons to fight one another and opportunities to built trust will be lost."

She didn't immediately agree and he tilted his head. "What?"

"Anduin believes Wrathion about the Legion. He has a feeling. Modera's waiting for the other shoe to drop." She shook her head at the idiom and clarified. "She feels something is on the horizon."

"Do you think it's the same thing?"

"I don't know but I'm afraid." She closed her eyes. "If it is the same foreboding then I haven't been helping and- Kalec, I'm afraid."

He held her closer. "Any sane person would be, beloved."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "Even if it isn't that, it's still the right thing to try to mend fences." She shivered as she said that.

"Live with the idea for a little while, beloved. You already know what you feel you must do but give yourself some time to come to terms with that."

She nodded. 

He kissed her. "I am so happy for the healing you have already done, beloved."

"I shouldn't-" she bit off her own comment and closed her eyes in a wince. The expression eased into weariness. "I'm still trying."

"And you're doing well." He kissed her temple again. "You give me hope I might find some peace and healing, too."

She sagged against him. "Can we change the topic? I need a distraction."

"Well I happen to know the leader of the city got permission from the housing council for us to go apartment hunting."

"This late?"

He shrugged. "They're empty units and we have the keys." He grinned. "And if we're going to see an influx of new people we should claim the housing with the best library space before then."

The smile she gave him was a bit watery but genuine and he also got a little laugh. He rested his forehead against hers. "There might even be snacks in the kitchen we could take with us."

"I shouldn't be surprised by your sweet tooth by now," she mused. "I'm going to gain an unhealthy amount of weight with you around and probably enjoy every bite."

"Well we'll just have to include rigorous physical activity for the both of us to prevent that from happening," he said lightly.

"Oh?" she asked, words dripping with intrigue and innuendo.

"Of course. We'll pick the space where we can include the largest library," he said keeping a straight face. 

She laughed more fully. "And take the stairs rather than teleporting?"

"Of course. Maybe make the whole thing to dragon proportions. No mounts over the vast distance between the bedroom and the parlor. Just walking to offset the snacks."

"That large? Will I be leading guided walking tours of the kitchen?" 

"Absolutely. Hikes to the linen closet when we have guests."

She laughed. "Welcome to our home Varian. The expedition to dinner starts at noon. We should be there by sundown unless we get snowed in by the kitchen."

He stole a quick kiss. "And wild sex in probably inappropriate places."

Jaina barked a laugh, quickly covering it with a hand. She continued to giggle. Kalec smiled, his heart lifting on wings at the sound. He raised her free hand to his lips then nodded at the door. "Let's go find a home."

She grew a shade more serious. "At the risk of sounding trite, I think I already have."

* * *

Two days later, Jaina was making final preparations to go to battle. Peace was a long siege Kalec had told her. Well then, she was going to try some sapping operations against some of the walls. Jaina wasn't certain as to the outcome of this meeting but she knew it would not begin easily. So she'd planned for how to make the best case she could. She'd made tea and conjured small spice cookies. Food could serve as a way to calm and Vereesa loved the little cookies. She'd also done research and had assembled data. 

In doing so, she'd been enlightened. 

Jaina had spent an entire day making very circumspect inquiries as to the status of the various industries in Dalaran. She'd spent most of a second analyzing what she'd found. It wasn't just to convince others if she were being honest. She'd needed to convince herself and data was the best way she knew how to silence her wounded heart and listen to logic. So far her findings were concerning. She'd known there were some ways in which the city was suffering from the lack of population but once she'd done a deeper data analysis, she'd realized the situation was more fragile than she'd thought. It wasn't dire, not yet, but Dalaran had less of a cushion than she, or anyone else, had believed. The tipping point beyond which the City could no longer sustain itself was perhaps three years off instead of the decade projected by planners previously. She'd done the calculations and had examined the situation twice to be sure. Jaina had even created graphs and charts and written her own short summary report.

She let out a long breath. She'd not done this deep an evaluation before, and she should have. The plans that had followed the Horde purge were short term. Some were short sighted. Jaina still felt ill thinking about what was becoming the painfully obvious course of action. The Horde had taken so much from her personally. She'd been entrusted with the care and wellbeing of everyone in the city. The Horde had damaged that trust. They'd hurt her people, they'd hurt her, they'd reached out and harmed others as well. The council had reacted as they'd needed to in the moment. But none of them had followed up on the issue to see the consequences. She hadn't followed up on the issue. Because they were hurt and angry.

Jaina drew in a deep breath and let it out again. Wallowing in failure, fear and disappointment weren't helping her or anyone else. She could choose differently now she had more information. She remembered her first real conversation with Modera and smiled slightly. Now she knew about the issue. Nothing to do but address it and move on from it.

A knock at the doorframe heralded Vereesa's appearance, right on time. She smiled as she closed the door behind her. Jaina smiled back, hopeful.

"You look like you're planning another invasion," Vereesa mused as she strode over to the desk. "I'd thought maybe you were ready to spill about how things have developed with Lord Kalecgos." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms as she smirked.

"I'm sorry. I've been busy," Jaina apologized. 

"I'm sure you have," she mused.

Jaina laughed a little. "I haven't meant to be aloof. A lot has been going on for me, Vereesa. I'm sorry if you're felt slighted-"

"Jaina, I'm teasing," Vereesa chided fondly. She looked down. "It's nice you've found someone. My Rhonin's been on my mind a lot with the anniversary coming up," she said, voice quiet.

Jaina felt a creeping sense of dread rise like gorge in the back of her throat. She forced it down. No need to jump to conclusions and unintentionally sway the conversation.

Vereesa leaned over the documents to get a better look. Among the papers was a map of Draenor with the location of Khadgar's encampment as well as the Shadowmoon Alliance Garrison. "I thought you weren't going to go personally hunt Garrosh? Does Khadgar need help?"

"No," Jaina said, turning the reports around and setting her summary on top. "Dalaran will be supporting Khadgar and the rest and I haven't changed my mind about going. If I do, it won't be to hunt."

"What's this then?" she asked, picking up the pages of notes.

"I have been considering something delicate. I wanted to get your thoughts," Jaina said, gesturing to the comfortable chair Vereesa preferred.

The Ranger-General of the Silver Covenant sat, reading the pages. "I hadn't realized things were this bad," she said, looking over the top of the page at Jaina. "We've lost that many businesses?"

Jaina nodded. "Armor smiths and the battle-weave tailors went first, but the drop in business in the inns and markets has made prices go up just a bit. And if you look on page two, you'll see that there have been more workers let go in the last three months than in the previous two years. That's contributed to the loss of population."

"Are you thinking of some sort of incentives to get people to bring their families back?" she asked.

"Not exactly," Jaina said. "There is a population of displaced mages on Azeroth. Some of them may be suitable to invite."

"The blue flight?"

"I-" she frowned, considering, then shook her head- "no, that isn't what I meant but that is an idea. No, I don't mean the blue flight." She met Vereesa's eyes.

"The Horde?" Vereesa erupted. _"Jaina!"_ she said in the same tone one would ask 'how dare you?' The sharpness cut. Vereesa was on her feet now. 

"You cannot possibly mean to invite those monsters back into our home? After all they have done to us!"

Jaina folded her hands together on her desk. She took a breath. "It is something I am considering-" she said and was cut off.

"Jaina! No! You cannot!"

" _I_ cannot alone," she agreed. "But the council voted and we might vote again and-"

"They killed your city! The lured good men and women to Theramore and then they killed them all!" Vereesa's hands slammed down on Jaina's desk as she leaned over it. "I didn't even have a body to bury!"

Jaina winced. The papers under her hands were suddenly covered in a layer of frost. She leaned away from Vereesa and her desk. She held up a placating hand.

"Just, listen to what I have to say, please."

Vereesa glared and crossed her arms but she remained silent.

"I was asked to consider this by Prince Anduin. He thinks now might be a chance to settle some things diplomatically."

"Then he should settle those things."

Jaina bit back the urge to snap but she still glared. Her friend lifted her chin but subsided to silence.

"He believes that if we were to take steps in the direction of armistice then it will be easier for him to convince others while we're all still focused on Garrosh as a common enemy."

"So the next Garrosh can slip a knife between your ribs? Or mine?" Vereesa asked, flinging the report back onto Jaina's desk.

"Look at this logically-"

"There is more to life than logic and order, Jaina." Vereesa snapped back. "There is love and hate and chaos. My Rhonin was killed by the latter two and many others besides." She looked Jaina up and down. "I'd have expected this from Khadgar but not you, Jaina. Not after all we've been through. You know better."

She wanted to scream. Part of her still agreed with Vereesa. The fear was there, waiting in the shadows behind her with knives and poisoned words. Oh how easy it would be to agree with Vereesa and be done with it. But she'd been put in charge of Dalaran for a reason. A damned Red Dragon prophecy had made Rhonin shove her out of the blast meant to kill her, but they could have chosen someone else. Khagar, for example, could fit probably. But they'd chosen her and while there had been bumps she had taken her new charge seriously.

And this city would die without a healthy populace. They'd lost too many too quickly. The transition from wartime to peace was long. When a third of the population had been exiled it had put them on an entropic course of death. And it was the right thing, a small voice, one that sounded like her younger self, whispered.

"The Horde is not Garrosh," Jaina said. She hated the strain in her own voice but it was all she could do not to scream back.

"No, but they're animals," Vereesa snarled. "And the treacherous undead."

Jaina gritted her teeth as she spoke. "I was thinking perhaps we might start in stages. Allow trust to be rebuilt. We aren't the only ones who-"

"You're considering this? Seriously? It was the Horde who attacked Darnassus through us, who ripped down the wards you'd personally placed, who broke trust time and time again! You tried to let them live peacefully, we welcomed them even after Theramore and we were attacked again! Respect the memory of those lost!" Vereesa aggressively leaned over the desk as she spoke.

Jaina rose to her feet, rushing blood in her ears, pounding like a war drum. A distant part of her screamed for caution. She was reacting. She should be calm. "How dare you!" She snapped at the elf instead.

"Me? How dare you, Lady Proudmoore! You can't honestly think this is a wise idea?"

Jaina let out another shaky breath, trying to rein in her temper. "I do. Because it is the right move for Dalaran."

"Jaina. You want the population to be rebuilt. You want families to move back. My sons live here. You cannot possibly expect any sane individual to bring their children here when there are Horde agents allowed to walk around freely."

"Not freely. At least maybe not at first-"

"Jaina I cannot agree to this. I have to think of my boys. You don't have a family so I don't think you understand-" She cut herself off a second too late. 

Jaina's snapped up to hers. A circle about two meters in diameter around Jaina was coated in a sudden layer of frost. "I think this meeting is over."

Vereesa lifted her chin then rose. She left without a word. Jaina watched her go, her heart beating rapidly. She felt ragged. Jaina gradually became aware of the frost melting on her papers and floor. She dismissed the ice, wicking away the water and dispersing it harmlessly as a burst of snow out her balcony doors. She sat hunched over the desk, head in her hands.

How had it gone so wrong? Would anyone else be as angry as Vereesa was? Would they be more angry? Was she wrong to even consider allowing the Horde back into the city? It was darkly seductive to think maybe she should just dismiss the idea and agree Vereesa was correct.

But that would be shirking her duty.

And Jaina knew, deep down, this was the right course of action.

Guilt and fear twisted in her gut, mixed now with healthy dose of sorrow. Had her friendship with Vereesa been that thin? Had they clung to one another in their grief with nothing else to connect them? Was she to mourn another friendship destroyed by the Horde?

No. Not the Horde. Garrosh. If she was going to lay blame, then she would do so properly. Jaina looked at the ruins of her carefully assembled siege and slumped back into her seat. The data was still good, but what use was it if no one listened. Jaina stifled a scream of rage and frustration with a hand. What next?

There was a rap of a gauntlet on her doorframe. Modera wore her light combat gear and a small frown. Her staff was strapped to her back, ready to be used.

"What now?" Jaina asked. She sounded whiny but she didn't care at the moment. What fresh disaster was there now?

Modera stepped inside the room, shutting the door behind her. "As I was heading to my office, I was nearly trampled by a herd of magi fleeing the upper levels of the citadel." She pulled off one gauntlet then the other. "I heard shouting about the Horde so I ducked into my office to grab a few things. Then I saw our ranger-general stalking away." She tucked the gauntlets into her belt.

Jaina groaned, holding her face in her hands. Who knew what rumors would run rampant over the city now? She'd forgotten to ward for sound. But then she'd also not expected to get into a shouting match with her friend.

"What happened?" Modera asked.

Jaina picked up the summary report and held it out to her. Modera slipped the staff off her back and set it in the rack by the door. She took the seat Vereesa had vacated.

"Take a walk around the room," she suggested to Jaina. "Have a cookie," she held out one of the little ginger snaps and Jaina took it, feeling sullen and defeated. 

Jaina rose and paced out onto her balcony. Dalaran's purple, white and gold sparkled merrily in the morning sun. Jaina did not feel the view matched her current mood. She looked further than the city. Icecrown loomed in the distance, dark and foreboding, crowned in storms. Beyond that, further than she could see, was Coldarra and the Nexus. Kalec's home was empty, the dragon mages who'd lived there dispersed. Would her city be as empty in a decade? Would it be hers anymore? Jaina turned the cookie around in her hands as she leaned on the railing and thought.

Maybe she should just fly away with Kalec. Disperse with the rest of the blue dragons and let Azeroth sort out it's own problems. She just needed a quiet, warm spot to read and maybe conduct experiments. She had a sudden vision of curling up in front of a roaring fire with Kalec, the dark cozy wood of a cabin around them. No one bringing war to their doorstep, no one savaging them for what they did or didn't do. No fear and no hatred. Just a cozy little home. With a lab. And a library.

Jaina smiled at the fanciful image even as she knew it to be a thin daydream. She had a responsibility still and Kalec had a mission of his own. But perhaps there was something in what Vereesa had said. Maybe some blue dragons wouldn't mind living in Dalaran. It wasn't the Nexus, but that was a selling point. They were close to their original home, but Dalaran was still alive and vital- if a bit more quiet these days. Jaina heard the slap of pages on her desk and bowed her head. She drew in a deep breath and returned inside.

Modera had slouched back in the chair. She was nibbling on one of the cookies. She wasn't in a towering rage. Jaina slipped back into her own chair and ate the cookie she's taken with her but hadn't eaten. Another gesture conjured hot tea and two settings.

"We're that badly screwed?" Modera asked. 

"Only if we don't do something," Jaina said.

Modera stared at her for a long moment. "This is more than just about the city," she stated.

Jaina nodded.

"What?" Modera snapped another cookie in half and began to eat it.

"It's about the future of the city," Jaina started slowly, "but it's also about the future of Azeroth. I was asked to consider allowing the Horde back in to Dalaran." She waited to see if Modera would explode once the words were actually said.

Modera gestured with her cookie for Jaina to 'go on' and seemed less inclined to shout than Vereesa had been.

Jaina let out a shaky breath and flexed her hands out of the fists she'd not realized she'd clenched them into. "We're less inclined to fight one another now. We have a common enemy of sorts. But that won't last. There is a chance we could talk armistice."

"But only while we're not trying to throw spellfire at one another." Modera nodded. "I see. And Dalaran reconciling... You allowing talks with the Horde mages specifically.... That's a powerful statement to the whole planet, isn't it?" Modera asked. She bit into another cookie.

"I'm not sure certain that I have much of an impact-"

"HA! Jaina, please," Modera gave her a dry look. She pointed at Jaina with the half-eaten cookie. "You've been the poster child for peace and coexistence for years. When you said march to war, people listened because, honestly, if it was bad enough _you_ said to go, then it was bad."

"I have been angry and wrathful and not diplomatic this past year," Jaina admitted. She folded her hands around the warm ceramic of her teacup. "I don't think my words count for much."

"If anything they count for more," Modera said.

Jaina scowled. "I've flipped in attitudes. It's fickle and inconsistent."

"You had new data and reevaluated your position. Garrosh is an awful being and did horrific things to practically everyone. He needed to go down hard before he could harm anyone else. Now he's no longer the Warchief. You've evaluated the situation with the city and with the Horde's leadership." She gestured at the pile of data. "And what I see is we should make the attempt to reintegrate for Dalaran's sake if nothing else."

Jaina grimaced. 

"King Varian's flipped," Modera said. "And no one calls him fickle. Probably because he's a man."

Jaina scowled. Modera grinned back at her.

"But I think I see the hand of your student in both the King's change of heart and in your decision to evaluate the situation," Modera smiled. "Prince Anduin," she clarified at Jaina's frown. "He's gained quite a voice."

"He has grown up well."

"So, what do you think personally?" Modera asked. "I know what the numbers say. What do you think?"

Jaina sipped her tea to collect her thoughts. "I think gradual reintroduction. Sunreaver needs to clean up his organization. But I'm willing to allow people back. Maybe we few people who have sponsors allowed to move back at first. Day passes for the rest. Built up trust and let Sunreaver clean house." She tilted her head. "What do you think?"

"I think your data is sound. I'm not happy about any of this, but a part of me can't help but think how nice it would be to have some of the Horde powerhouses back. If someone steps out of line again, we toss them off the side of the city."

Jaina gave her a look and she grinned back. Modera chewed thoughtfully on her cookie and sipped some tea.

"It's a risk. But then letting them here in the first place was a risk," Modera said. "Rhonin convinced us it was the right thing. We're mages and the Mages of Azeroth should stick together. What we did, kicking them out, was the right thing to do at the time. We have too many artifacts and portal points that Garrosh could have exploited, and he had no respect for anything. But he's not in charge anymore." She sipped her tea. "I suppose then we have to weigh the risk of another betrayal versus the assured demise predicted by your numbers."

Jaina nodded. "I don't want to do it. And I do."

"Oh?"

Jaina tapped her fingers on the teacup. "Dalaran was part of the original Alliance but it's thrived as a neutral city. And..."

"And?"

"And I think an armistice would be good." She looked up at Modera. "Anduin believes the Legion is coming." Jaina shivered as she said the words.

Modera sat upright, casual slouch gone instantly, replaced with hard focus. "He does?"

Jaina nodded. "Is that what you've been feeling?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "It could be. When it stops I'll know. 'Till then I'll just be paranoid."

Jaina bowed her head. "I pray to the Light that you're all wrong, but if you aren't we should try something." She sighed. "Even if you're wrong, we should try to come to some sort of agreement. I'm certain that will not be a popular stance."

"No," Modera agreed. "I don't like the idea of letting the Horde back in either. It's a security nightmare. But we can't sustain the city with just Alliance and neutral mages alone anymore. And if we're going to face off against an infinite army of demons, I'd rather not fight a war on two fronts."

Jaina felt the tension ease from her shoulders. Someone else understood. "Where do you think everyone else stands? I suspect Khadgar would be all for it. I know he's helping their Frostwall garrison," Jaina said with an eyeroll.

Modera scowled. "Well that one thing you two have in common. You've both gone off and helped both sides because it was right, even if your peers had explicitly told you not to." Modera rolled her eyes as well. "That man. He could have asked rather than just... broke ranks. We don't need that."

"I think that until maybe today, the answer would have been 'no' and he would have just done it anyway. Khadgar's been on his own almost as much as I have."

"Fair I suppose. Still it's...rude."

"The others? What about Spellsong? She's the newest on the Council."

"She's fairly pragmatic. She's been bothered by our security as well, so she'll be torn as I am. She had friends as well as rivals among Sunreaver's people. Spellsong took what happened hard but I think she'll be a good one to help sort out who we can and cannot trust. If she's not still spitting fire."

Jaina pulled a face. "Karlain? I think I have enough data here that he'll agree even if he doesn't like it."

"I agree. Ansirem will probably be against it but I think he can be won over."

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

"Rhonin did it," Modera said with a shrug. "Putting that out there might also help."

Jaina waved a hand. "No. Given Vereesa's reaction I won't. Besides, as much as he was a fine mage and a good person, he is gone."

"A fair point," Modera inclined her head.

Jaina slouched back in her chair. "Answer something for me honestly, please?"

"Of course. What?"

"Am I just holding Rhonin's place? Am I just here temporarily? Khadgar could fit what Krasus wrote." She shook her head. "Sometimes it feels like I'm under a shadow." Again.

"No. And if I'd thought that, I wouldn't have agreed to the vote. You know I am the longest serving council member since Antonidas died?"

Jaina nodded. "Yes."

"I joined when I was... Light, I was about your age. In that time I have been the only woman on the council more years than not. The Lordaeron traditions and some like-minded ones run strongly here in the older parts of Dalaran's population." She looked around then cast a quick privacy charm. Modera leaned across the desk. "I know I shouldn't, but I cheered for Magna Aegwyn when she turned the council on their ear and called them out for being meddlesome hypocrates. She had to fight like I did. It's better now and it isn't perfect. Having the Stormwind schools has helped. They've always been a bit more egalitarian." She waved a hand, dismissing the privacy charm.

"No, Jaina, You're holding your own place. Rhonin was affable and charismatic and he stepped up when Ansirem needed to step down. But we needed someone to step up again, and you did so."

Jaina smiled briefly. "Thank you."

"Now you answer me honestly. Do you think this is the right thing?"

Part of her screamed no, but that voice was quieter. She still felt sick dread at the thought of Horde mages once again using her city. But... what if finally, finally, she could stop someone like Garrosh entirely. 

"Yes. It's not without risk and I don't think it will be easy, but I think it's what we had to do. The city needs us to do something for it to survive and if the worst comes... If the worst comes I don't want to fight a war on two fronts."

Modera nodded. "Then I think we should speak with the rest of the council and consider options." She rose, taking a gingersnap for a road.

Jaina rose as well. "Thank you. I appreciate your insight."

Modera inclined her head. "Anytime. I should let you get back to it." She rose and collected her staff. The older mage paused by the door as she left. "Jaina?"

"Yes."

"You stand in no one's shadow, Archmage." Modera saluted with the cookie and swept from the room.

Jaina sank back into her chair. She nibbled on the edge of one of the last cookies and considered the stack of data in front of her. Today had been mixed, very mixed, but perhaps something good would come from it ultimately.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaina finds just how far she has come in learning to accept what happened to her and to move on from blind rage and hatred. The Theramore Memorial ends with a surprising conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thank you to JThorsten over on tumblr for enabling, comments, critique and editing. Any further errors are mine!

"Your city is very beautiful," Yu-len remarked. She settled into one of the plush chairs in the little seating area in Jaina's office, tea in hand.

"Thank you," Jaina said as she took her own seat.

"The view is incredible. I imagine it takes a great deal of power to get it to stay aloft? When Dalaran was described to me, I didn't expect to see so much earth under the foundations."

"It was a terrestrial city until somewhat recently," Jaina said as she stirred some honey into her tea. "It was attacked and the Council at the time decided that we would be better protected from more attacks of that nature if we were elsewhere."

"There is more to the story I think."

Jaina nodded. "Arthas was the one who attacked." She nodded outside where crystal trees gave way to the brooding spire of Icecrown. "And that is Icecrown. Where the final battle against the Lich King was fought."

"Every day you look out your window and see where he died then."

Jaina grimaced. "Yes. It is an occasional thought now, not one which constantly bothers me, understand."

The Pandaren nodded. "Of course, but it comes up."

"It comes up. But there are other things to see. The northern lights are lovely. It's also close to Coldarra, where Kalec is from. The northern sea isn't a far trip either." She shrugged. "Arthas has been on my mind again given all that has transpired but with him I got some closure at least." She sipped her tea. "Thank you for making the trip. All of you. I know Modera was anxious to begin some form of exchange. I know that I am as well."

"Of course. My compatriots are intrigued by the offer of an exchange of talents, however we are not here to discuss those plans."

"No. But I wanted to let you know something first. Something you are allowed to share with your compatriots when you return to Pandaria, and which isn't part of our healing sessions."

The Pandaren frowned thoughtfully. "Oh?"

"I am... pursuing plans to eventually allow the Horde back into the city. The Council is examining my reasoning and preliminary proposals. We will meet on it in a few days. Archmage Modera is in favor of such things and is probably telling the people she is meeting with the same thing."

The healer's eyebrows lifted. "Oh. That... will alleviate some concerns."

"The Shado-pan have no desire to pick sides. I know. It is one of the points in my argument for allowing reintegration. I wanted to let you know in case you needed additional verification. It is not set yet, but I believe it will happen"

"I see. I will convey that."

"Thank you."

"Now, I believe we will return to our confidential session?" She arched an eyebrow. Her smile for Jaina was kind.

"Yes," Jaina breathed out, a weight off her shoulders.

"Let us discuss the mushan in the room, yes?"

Jaina chuckled. "Yes I suppose that would be wise."

"How are you feeling?"

Jaina drew in a breath and let it out with a little laugh. "That is... complicated. On the one hand, I feel that because I am the one who has brought up allowing the Horde to return, I feel in control. On the other hand part of me is screaming."

"Why have you brought up the issue then?"

Jaina rubbed her hands over her skirts. "A number of reasons. The first was because Anduin asked me to consider the notion. He wants to push for peace talks and Dalaran re-admitting the Horde would be a powerful statement. It has been pointed out to me that me specifically allowing it would be a statement on its own."

"It sounds like we should discuss that in a moment. You said there were several reasons?"

"He asked me to consider it. So I did. And I found out that there are very good reasons to re-invite them back into the city based on numbers and economics alone. There is a risk of security but there is also the benefit of having many powerful mages back to help support things like the shields or the flight wards. And now with us trying to reach out to the Shado Pan, there are further reasons to go back to neutrality."

"How did you feel when he asked you to consider this?"

"Sick. Hurt. Angry because this was my idea for so long and I'd given up on it. Angry because he might manage it when I couldn't alone. But-" she felt herself smiling, "-he wouldn't have been on this path if not for my encouragement."

"He asked for your help. So he cannot do it alone either."

"I- Yes I suppose that is true."

"Let us return to something else you said. You said that it had been pointed out to you that you personally making this gesture was a statement. I could not help but notice your discomfort."

Jaina's lips pulled to one side. "I am not terribly comfortable being the center of attention and scrutiny."

"Why are you are prominent leader then?"

"I have a duty! Besides I'm not terrible at it."

"From what I have witnessed you are rather good at it."

"I suppose I am. I'm certainly not the worst," Jaina said. "But if I could do it without any of the public parts I would." She smiled wistfully. "I almost had that in Theramore." The memorial was soon. Kalec would be going with her. Varian and Anduin would both be there. She didn't know about Vereesa anymore.

"A sad thought?"

"The memorial is soon," Jaina said, eyes meeting the healer's. "While that is sad, I had a fight with someone. A friend. Over the idea of allowing the Horde back into the city. It's why we have been cautious with moving forward and why we have been quiet about it. There are many who will be angry with the decision."

"I see. Would you tell me about your feelings regarding this fight?"

Jaina sighed and slouched back into her chair. "Rhonin's wife. Vereesa. He was the mage who pushed me out of the blast radius at the cost of his own life. He was the leader in Dalaran before me. We-" she looked around as she searched for the right words, "-bonded over our hatred." Jaina dropped her eyes to her teacup. "We fed on one another. Wound one another up. Cried with one another. Reinforced the other. We were there for one another in a very cold and lonely year."

"And now you disagree. The disagreement with a friend is what hurts or something else?"

"Disagreeing with friends and loved ones is never fun," Jaina allowed. "But I... I thought we were friends and I am wondering if this is just a disagreement we will eventually come through or if all we really had was hatred." She sighed. "And it is somewhat complicated because Vereesa is the Ranger General of the Silver Covenant. They're High Elves who don't like that the Kirin Tor allowed Blood Elves to join. They will be... displeased I am considering allowing them back into the city. They're a militant faction within the Kirin Tor itself, so they have power, ability and clout."

Yu-len sat forward. "Do you think there will be more fighting?"

Jaina's heart ached and she felt the pit of her stomach drop. "I pray there won't be. I don't think she's told her people or there would be open discussion in the streets."

"Why do you think she hasn't told anyone?"

"I don't know. She could be waiting for me to come to her side. She could be processing her feelings. She might have told them and I'll find myself tossed out of the city in an hour."

"Do you think that would happen?"

"No," Jaina said. "No that's the nightmare scenario. Vereesa wouldn't act out based on something I told her in confidence. I was considering bringing to the others and it was not yet decided."

"You worry she and those in the Silver Covenant will act out once you and the Council begin to discuss the matter in earnest."

Jaina nodded, eyes downcast. "Because not only would our friendship be over, there could be civil war in the city. Again. Twice on my watch." Jaina lifted her eyes. "What good leader allows that to happen?"

"Did you create the Silver Covenant?"

"No. That happened when Blood Elves were allowed into the Kirin Tor."

"Which was while you were in Theramore and not part of the council?"

"Yes. But I was the city leader during the Purge and I am the city leader now."

"And as I recall, Dalaran is governed by a council of six individuals who vote on important issues together. No one who made those historical choices before you became the leader here knew what was in store for the city in the future. When you chose to exile Horde mages from the city, did you know what would happen in the future?"

"No."

"Are you certain the Silver Covenant will cause civil war in the city?"

"No."

"You made the best choice with the information you had at the time," Yu-len said as she leaned forward. "That is all any of our leaders can do, Lady. It is all the leaders before you had been able to do."

Jaina drew in a breath and let it out. "And I suppose that is all I can do right now. Make the best decision I can given the information I have."

"And, if I might remind you, you are aware of the tensions within the city and the people who live here. I have no doubt that information is considered when you make your decisions."

Jaina drew her finger around the rim of her teacup. "It doesn't make facing these sorts of situations any easier."

"No it doesn't," Yu-len agreed.

"I just have to weigh everything and decide," Jaina gave her a little sardonic look.

"But you have the benefit of being _one_ of a council. Consider earlier we discussed how neither you nor Prince Anduin could achieve your personal goals of peace alone."

Jaina blew out another breath. "That feels like I'm not taking responsibility."

"Would be be irresponsible of you to dismiss the matter because you know it will anger some of your citizens?"

"Yes it would be."

"And does your council actually make decisions or is it expected you are to make them and they are to agree? You mentioned before you had to negotiate with them to organize your leadership team into a form that worked for everyone."

"Primarily I am the one who introduces policy, but the others have areas of authority and real responsibilities of management and administration." She would have liked more policy to be introduced via their areas as well. Modera taking point to negotiate with the Shado Pan healers was one such example and she honestly more would volunteer reforms. Jaina was also close to the issue with the healers if she was being truthful with herself and having someone else handle the issue felt a bit better.

"So it seems to me," Yu-len said, bringing Jaina's attention back to her, "logically they are people to consult seriously on these matters and they share the burden of the choice with you."

Jaina smiled thinly. "I suppose I shouldn't be so egotistical and think this is all about me or about my own struggle."

"It isn't egotistical. You have had to come through a lot in the last year and those are large, heavy events. They color your perceptions and will continue to do so. Everyone has such events and you are learning to be mindful of those feelings. You include them in your evaluations. But-" she held up a finger, "- you also have been in a place for years where you were the sole authority. And you mentioned you liked the sense of control being the one to suggest this plan has given you."

"I'm owning it more than I need to, then," she said, dropping her eyes.

Yu-len shrugged, holding her hands out to either side. "Only you can make that determination, but consider if holding onto the control and ownership is healthy or not. Sometimes it can be. Sometimes it isn't."

Jaina nodded. "It's the right thing to do, though," she said, eyes lifting once again. "And... I can't control Vereesa or her hate. I offered to see if I could get her a meeting like you and I have been having. She said she'd think about it." Jaina shook her head. "She hasn't said anything."

"What did you feel when you agreed to our first meeting, Lady?"

Jaina thought back to that day. So much had happened but it had only been a few weeks. It felt like months. Years. "Desperation," Jaina began slowly. "I wanted so badly to feel good again." She looked down at her hands. "And fear."

"Why do you think you felt fear?"

Jaina considered. The answer, as it had the first, came quickly. Yet saying it out loud made it more real, more frightening, even if it was ultimately good. "Because if I did this, and if it somehow worked, then I would change again."

Yu-len smiled kindly. "Change is often frightening, especially if you cannot see what will become of you after the change."

Jaina wondered what her own personal relationship with fear and change was. Like Modera, Varian and Jaina herself, had the healer come through these fires too? Ultimately it didn't matter.

"I hoped it would be good. I'd just seen the worst my hatred could bring. And... I think I knew I would need to give up my hate. _Now_ I know that also meant I felt I needed to give up control in my life. At the time, I thought about walking out of your tent."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to speak with Anduin and not have him flinch. I wanted Kalec to stay with me. I didn't want to get into shouting matches with Varian."

"And now?"

Jaina wiped sudden moisture from her eye. "I'm worried for the future, but I can see one. My family loves me." Her lips trembled and she swallowed back the ache in her throat. She smiled and, small but it felt good. "I'm a little bit happier every day. I'll get there."

The healer reached over and put her hands over Jaina's. "Good. Good. And I will be at your service until you feel you no longer need to speak with me." She smiled and winked. "But I would not be opposed to the occasional update and meeting even then. Healing is my calling and it feels very good to see those I have helped thriving."

Jaina smiled. "Thank you."

"You did most of it," Yu-len said. "I just helped you see what you already knew without all the noise distracting you."

* * *

The morning she would once again return to Theramore dawned crisp and clear. The wall across from her was pale stucco. The view outside showed dawn's light reflected on mountain and snow rather than shimmering and dancing off the water. She could not hear the ocean.

Jaina did not want to see the crater, feel the ruined crunch of stone underfoot. The violet ashes were gone, collected or blown to sea, but she could picture where they had been. Jaina closed her eyes and saw Kinndy's body collapse under her fingers. She shuddered under a sudden sob, rubbing her hand against the bed, trying to remove the memory of grit and fine sand falling through her fingers. She hugged herself close and curled inward. They would say goodbye again, today.

"Hey." Gentle hands rubbed at her shoulders and down her arms. They pulled her back and held her close, safe, and warm. Alive. Kalec kissed the crown of her head then began to stroke his fingers through her hair. He hummed the lullaby he most often sang when he comforted her.

She was alive. Jaina wiped at her eyes and rolled over, tucking herself close to Kalec, who loved her and who she loved in return. She thought about her people and what they would have made of their Lady being romantically involved with a dragon. Kinndy would have found the whole thing hilarious, she was sure. Gnomes as a people were perhaps even more earthy about relations than the dwarves were. Jaina knew she's have been teased a little but her apprentice and Kalec had found an accord working together. Tervosh would have wanted to know exactly nothing about what she did in her personal spaces. If they'd ever forgotten a privacy spell, she was certain she'd have been reminded. But Tervosh would have liked working with Kalec further. She suspected Kalec would have enjoyed it as well. And Pained... Pained would have interrogated Kalec about his intentions and promised to become a dragonslayer should he have harmed her.

Rhonin wasn't one of her people but he'd have had something to say to his maverick mage by the sea. He would have asked impertinent questions just to tease. He'd been a true friend to the dragons and understood better than many how they were people, good, bad, virtuous and flawed. He'd have gotten along with Kalecgos. But Rhonin was gone leaving a mourning wife and two young sons as part of his legacy.

And Jaina was alive because he believed Jaina was 'the future of the Kirin Tor' so strongly he'd taken the blast meant to kill her. She'd been offered his mantle of leadership and she had taken it because his life, his sacrifice needed to mean something. Her life needed to mean something again.

Jaina wound a lock of Kalec's hair around one of her fingers. Deep blue like his scales and like them, somehow a little iridescent. She liked finding the shed hairs in her bed and brushes, mixed with the pale strands of her own hair.

She'd had no future with him if she hadn't let go of her hatred. Dalaran had no future unless they changed and allowed all mages into the city. The Kirin Tor had no future if the Legion or some other dark force rose up to assault the people of Azeroth. And Azeroth... Azeroth needed her people to stop killing one another.

The council had read her report and agreed to discuss the issue. Jaina had been relieved no one had ripped her apart as Vereesa had. But she'd asked them for some time. Space for the memorial to happen and for those who'd lost loved ones to mourn the losses before they debated something sure to be controversial.

She'd been given the time, but the council would meet and they would debate. And she knew the Horde would be allowed to return. It would not happen immediately, but Jaina knew it would happen eventually. It had to happen. There was too much logic to deny that course of action and until recently she'd been the staunchest supporter of keeping them out of the city.

"I should get up," she said.

Kalec kissed her forehead. "I'll be with you. So will Varian and Anduin."

Jaina nodded. She rose bathed and dressed mechanically. She managed a few bites of a bagel but she didn't want food. She dressed in the same robes she'd usually worn when she had been the Lady of Theramore. Today her beloved wore the horns of his true form, which he did only rarely. Dalaran began to wake outside the window. Jaina hadn't even bothered with meditation, but she could maybe do some of the things she'd done with Yu-len.

She took a deep breath and let it out, taking stock of her feelings. She was sad because there were wonderful people who were gone forever except in memory. Many soldiers had died in the blast. Those families had been invited to attend as well and she would have to look at them, some for the first time. She did not know if they hated her for calling for assistance or for not seeing it was a trap. So many dead. The rage did not burn like a welcome heat in her chest. The embers were dull, the fire dying.

And that was okay.

Because Garrosh had not killed everyone. He hadn't killed the Alliance. He hadn't killed her. And she would damn well make sure it would never happen again. Jaina took another breath and let it out. She would help. The violence would stop if she kept trying and people like Garrosh Hellscream would find far more opposition and far less support. Jaina glared at the far wall of her apartment. She would _kill_ his dreams of war, grind them under her heel until they were _less_ than violet ash in the wind. Young women like Kinndy would never again have their lives cut short.

She rose and kissed Kalec. He had been her rock and comfort. "Thank you."

"For?" he asked.

"Being you when I wasn't me."

* * *

They went to Stormwind first. Kinndy's parents were there already and Jaina felt like fleeing as they approached. They were kind souls and had never blamed her even when she had blamed herself. The two gnomes both gave her a hug and Mrs. Sparkshine kept her hand after.

"You look much better, Jaina," Jaxi told her. "I have been so worried for you."

Jaina gave her another quick hug. She thought Kinndy might have learned to be so genuine from her mother. "I haven't been myself. Your daughter would have been so cross with me."

"She would have understood, Jaina." She smiled and stepped away.

There was an honor guard of Stormwind soldiers bearing memorial wreaths to represent the fallen. Varian wore full plate at their head, the lion and gryphon pauldrons painted with tears in Stormwind blue for the occasion. Anduin wore his formal tunic and sash, his hair neatly combed back and pulled into a small tail. His eyes were solemn as he approached to give her a tight hug. Somber-eyed men and women who had lost fathers, daughters, sons and wives in the fighting and then in the final blast wore the blue and gold of Stormwind.

There was a small contingent in green and gold, bearing the anchors of Kul Tiras. Jaina felt a mixture of shame, anger and sadness in seeing them. The original settlers of the island had largely been from Jaina's homeland. She was the last Proudmoore and she saw several familiar, weathered faces among that delegation of mourners. Her cousin had again sent his regrets and condolences, the letter had actually been rather eloquent, but he had not come in person. They were the smallest contingent, but everyone there was a high ranked lord of guild master. Each was a relative of those who'd died. Many fine people had come with her. They bowed to her and gave their condolences in rough voices used to shouting over waves and loud dock hands.

Slightly larger was the group in white and blue. Seeing they were greater in number than the Kul Tirisians was bittersweet. Most were young but there was age in the eyes of even the youngest. She knew there were also toddlers but those children, saved from the blast with these, were not present for this solemn occasion. For that she was glad. There were many orphans after Theramore. These people were to have been the second generation of her city. They had been cut adrift as she had been. Most had relatives elsewhere to take them in and Jaina had quietly seen that anyone who didn't have a relative was properly cared for. They were sad but they all looked healthy and well fed. They dipped into little bows and curtseys as their parents had taught them - some specifically because Jaina didn't stand on ceremony and it was an amusing joke between neighbors. She curtsied right back and earned tentative giggles.

Jaina had some time before they would depart so Jaina left Kalec speaking quietly with Anduin. She sat on a bench and spoke with the children, asking how they were and what they were learning. Eager voices all chimed in to answer, excited to tell her all they knew. Good. They were growing past their own losses and hadn't fallen as she had. At least she'd not entirely failed these families.

No.

Jaina stopped herself. She hadn't failed. It had been an attack by someone beyond reason in a war larger than her little island home. She listened to the children until Andun drew her away. It was time to leave.

She'd allowed many mages the ability to use her city as a teleport target and there had been dozens of volunteers to open pathways to the island. Familiar faces nodded to her, some giving little bows or other gestures of acknowledgement and respect. Some mges had passed through on their way to conduct research and had hardly stayed. Others had been seasonal visitors and had known the inhabitants of the island well. As one they opened gateways in the air. Beyond the shimmering circles, the dark, grey ruin of the island was visible.

Jaina took Kalec's hand and stepped through.

It hurt.

Ruined walls and chunks of masonry dotted the landscape still. Time had passed but only the hardiest scrubby bushes had yet taken root on the island. The ground was no longer scorched-looking, but it was mostly barren. Gravel crunched underfoot where there should have been grass. Murky water had gathered into the center crater.

Jaina closed her eyes. She knew the crash of the waves, but they were missing the other sounds of her city. She could picture it in her head, the life and happiness that had once been here. Kalec squeezed her hand and she looked up at him. He looked concerned, asking without words if she was well. She nodded and squeezed him back.

The contingents from Darnassus and the Exodar arrived by their own portals in nearly the same moment that the group from Stormwind had.

And then a final contingent direct from Dalaran. Vereesa arrived in a gentle spring green dress that didn't quite match the storm in her eyes. Her sons had been cleaned up and didn't look entirely pleased with their formal clothing or their presence on the island. They smiled tentatively at Jaina but their mother's hands on their shoulders kept them at her sides.

Jaina found Vereesa's eyes and suppressed a flinch. They blazed in fury but perhaps not hatred for Jaina. Jaina motioned, silently inviting her family to stand with her, Kalec, Anduin and the Sparkshines. The high elf considered it for a few seconds then shook her head.

Jaina closed her eyes, a crushing weight on her chest. She turned back to the Stormwind Honor guard and away from the elf and her family. Jaina had needed to be ready to accept help and love again. She couldn't force her friend onto the same path any more than Kalec would have been able to force her. Healing of this nature had to happen by Vereesa's choice.

Jaina looked around and was surprised by who else had arrived. She wasn't immediately familiar with the man who seemed to carry rank among the Draenei but other representatives were unmistakable. Farseer Nobundo leaned on a long staff, fathomless eyes taking in everything. Tyrande wore formal-looking robes in gossamer moonlight, the wind playing with the hem of her garment. Malfurion was present as well and held a beautifully carved box under one feathered arm.

If seeing Tyrande and Malfurion wasn't enough of a surprise, huge winged shapes wheeled overhead; red, bronze and green. The dragons landed and shifted into their humanoid shapes. The former Aspects approached as a group, joining Kalec and their number was complete. The dragons had few words, choosing instead to stand to the side as silent sentinels.

Theramore had been primarily a human settlement therefore it fell to a Priest of the Light to begin the ceremony of remembrance. Anduin faced the crowd. Jaina had asked if he would do this task months ago even though he was still considered to be in training. She remembered wishing to reconnect with him, wishing for his understanding of why she hurt so badly why she felt like she was smouldering why she wanted to scream and never stop. How much had changed since then, she mused. How much had been in the past few weeks alone? But these had been good changes rather than the pain which brought everyone to this place today. Jaina leaned against Kalec's side, hand holding his, trying to remain grounded.

"Today we honor those who fell with Theramore," Anduin began, lifting his voice over the sound of the surf and the creak of the honor guard's armor.

Faces and names, images of mundane daily life, and simple moments flashed before Jaina's eyes.

"What began as an outpost grew with the love and care of all who lived within her walls, "Anduin continued. "They came from Kul Tiras, Stormwind, Dalaran, Ironforge and Darnassus. All of them left to create something new far from the homes and people they'd known. Anduin paused. "We not only remember the people who lived here, but we remember how they lived; exploring, challenging, embracing life and all it had to offer even though danger was at hand. Even if the world outside their walls was dangerous, they banded together and forged their own path."

Anduin looked around and his dyes fell on the relatives of the soldiers lost. "When the city was threatened, many in the Alliance came to offer aid and support. Today we honor their selflessness and their sacrifice as well. We thank the Light for the people we lost for we are better off having known them."

She _was_ better having known them. Jaina hadn't been for awhile, but the goodness of their lives was being remembered more, bit by bit. She'd learned so much from ruling Theramore, from being friends with Tervosh and Pained, from teaching Kinndy. She'd even learned from Rhonin.

"Our hearts are sad and heavy, but we are here, we are alive, and we can honor their memories by living well." His eyes scanned over the crowd as he spoke, but they ended on Jaina. She could feel the comment aimed for her. She would have taken it as a dagger weeks ago. It wasn't. It was a gentle reminder of exactly how her people would have wished for their family to continue. She'd faltered and the regret hurt, but she would live well. Anduin bowed his head in a moment of silence then yielded the floor to Varian and the honor guard.

Jaina could hardly hear the sound of the guard conducting their ritual. Her heart pounded louder than the solemn drumbeat to which they executed their drill.

Sometime before the siege, Jaina had been offered a chance to eulogize here and now. Varian, eyes kinder than she'd seen in a long while, had been the one to speak to her of it. From their whispers and veiled eyes, she understood others had been too afraid to speak to her, fearing her temper. Jaina would never have struck out against her king and good friend. She had thought long and hard about speaking.

She had initially accepted when Varian had spoken gently and she had been the one full of fire. The words would mean little against her actions in Pandaria and in finally taking out Garrosh Hellscream; A truly fitting eulogy for her people... and for herself. So she had thought.

Jaina's heart had changed though. The speech she'd written and re-written, full of inadequate love and unending rage, had seemed so very empty when she'd re-read it days ago. So she had declined when Varian had spoken to her again. She wished to mourn with the few who remained, a silent witness in their shared grief. Her family now understood what she'd lost.

Jaina now understood what she'd lost.

Words were inadequate. Actions were longer lasting. She resolved to act as she had when she'd been their Lady and they had been her people and life had been good and hopeful despite the danger.

She was certain those closest to her, Pained, Tervosh and Kinndy, would have found her choice a far better eulogy than the hatred and bile in which she'd been drowning. She would try to be who they'd loved and who they had helped her to become.

But it was hard not to break into loud sobs, let the grief overwhelm her once more, to wallow in the catharsis of expressing her sadness. Her lost world was barren still and part of her felt shame for not speaking, for not grieving loudly and openly and with fire and rage and tears. Jaina had wallowed and raged enough. She bent her head, eyes on the crater in the center of the devastation, then let them drop. The soft cadence of the drum continued around her as Varian spoke of bravery, camaraderie and the skill with which everyone had fought. Jaina could hardly hear him.

"Thank you," she whispered, for her city and her people had taught her many things including one last, terrible lesson, the hardest of them all. She shivered. "Goodbye."

She leaned against Kalec, letting her tears fall, lighter. The loss ached but she lived. He was warm and solid against her back. Anduin, standing beside her, took half a step closer. She felt Varian's eyes on her briefly as he continued to read the list of names.

When he was done, the lone piper played the Lion's Rest, the traditional song used in Stormwind's military funerals. When she was finished playing, Anduin stepped away and faced the crowd again.

"Before we close, I have been told there is one left who wishes to speak on behalf of many, to the Lady of Theramore."

Jaina looked up in surprise and perhaps panic. Who wished to speak to her in this moment? Perhaps Malfurion and his odd box? A gift? Someone else? Tyrande? She was further surprised when Kalec left her side to stand in front of her. He took her hands in his.

"You told me you wished to see this place look less scarred and more alive." His tone was soft as were his eyes.

Jaina nodded mutely, barely remembering when she'd said as much to him. He smiled with gentle kindness as he squeezed her fingers. The other dragons had come to stand behind him. Beyond them were Nobundo and Malfurion with his ornate box.

"With your permission, Lady Jaina, we would like to do that for you. Give this place some new life and begin to heal the land here."

Jaina looked from one face to the other. Even sharp Ysera and stoic Nozdormu looked softer than usual. She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak or question. If they wished to try to heal the scarring on the land, she would welcome the attempt. Anything was better than the dead gravel, barren rock and the flashes of memory.

Kalecgos bowed solemnly to Jaina then turned to the other dragons, Nobundo and Malfurion. The Archdruid opened the box he'd been carrying and Ysera lifted out a small sapling. The party of three moved to the center crater of the island, walking down the slope with careful steps. The others arranged themselves in an incomplete circle around it.

Nobundo called to water and the pool receded into the soil, revealing mud and green algae. With careful hands the shaman and druid dug a shallow hole and the green dragon settled the sapling. Then the druid, the shaman, and the dragons took up equidistant spots around the tree and began to cast a spell.

Nobundo began a steady chant, a solid cadance like a heartbeat or the crashing waves of the nearby shoreline. The ground trembled under their feet and the soil grew more brown and healthy looking as he dropped his earth and water totems. Spirits, called by his will, manifest then sank into the ground. Soon the crater was full of healthy brown mud and the barest suggestion of earth spirits moving under the soil.

Malfurion's part involved more lyrical chanting, his deep voice whispered between the shaman's deeper tones like a breeze through leaves. Where he stood, the scrubby grass, which had only just begun to grow, became verdant and thick. Around the tree too, green things began to emerge from the dark mud.

The dragons joined the casting. The deep blue and violet of Kalec's arcane magic formed sigils and circles around him, precise, orderly and intricate. Around Alexstrasza, circles within circles of orange-red light formed, each glyph seeming to flicker and move with it's own inner life, like flames. Ysera's power was green and vibrant with the warmth of spring and renewal but the savage power of Nature. Nozdormu's golden magic looked like sand and wind, time and change, glittering like gold in the overcast light. The magic circles intertwined and intersected as they formed in ethereal patterns around the crater, the casters and the little tree planted in the center.

Then to her startlement, the dragons began to sing in counterpoint to the chanting.

Alexstrasza had a sweet soprano that tingled against Jaina's arcane senses evoking sunlight and the hearth. Kalec's familiar tenor rose with both the soothing coolness of a spring rain and the charged feel of arcane energy. Ysera added an contralto deep and rich like dappled sun in a glade. Nozdormu's baritone wove between them, steady and consistent.

The words were ancient, holding power of their own even beyond what was brought by the dragons. They were strangely familiar, as if she'd heard them long ago but had forgotten the song. Jaina found herself humming along quietly, somehow knowing parts of the whole though she'd never heard the music before. Hers was not the only soft voice from the crowd, joining in then falling away, perhaps called forth by the magic.

The voices of the dragons blended with Malfurion and Nobundo's deep basso chanting as they continued to weave their spell, drawing on the spirits, nature, the arcane, time and life itself. The sapling in the crater began to grow.

The ground shuddered and rippled as the tree's roots spread out wide and deep, anchoring it into the earth at the edge of the sea. The trunk thickened as it grew upwards, its branches stretching towards the sky, leaves unfurling into dark green. The ground shifted under the now thick carpet of grass as the land reformed and rose, evening out the crater as the tree reached upwards.

Soon everyone was no longer standing at the edge of a crater, but near the top of a small hill. At the center, where her tower had been, stood a majestic tree with deep red bark, sturdy branches and green leaves. Buds formed and opened into flowers the color of magic, filling the air with a sweet scent. The blossoms, in fact the whole tree, seemed to vibrate with energy, a blending of the power used by the casters standing around the base.

The song continued for several moments more as the ground and the tree seemed to solidify, as if the tree had been there for ages instead of minutes. The height the tree reached was near the height her tower had been. The broad branches sheltered the area which had seen the most devastation. Then the voices began to slow, the casters stepping away from their work as a settled feeling fell over the crowd. Kalecgos ended his casting as the others did, the final notes harmonizing and striking like a clear chime against Jaina's arcane senses as their work was concluded. She wiped at her eyes as the spell ended, the area silent save for the crash of the waves against the shore and the slight creak of the tree's branches as they caught in the wind.

The dragons, shaman and druid bowed to the new tree then to one another then approached the small gathering of survivors; Jaina, the few minders and the children who'd been taken to safety before the initial attack.

Malfurion extended a hand to her and she reached out, placing her hand in his. He turned her palm upwards and placed a dainty pink blossom there. The pale center of the magic colored flower was the color of Kinndy's hair Jaina noted absently. He stepped back to stand near Tyrande. Alexstrasza approached with her sister.

"We cannot replace what was lost here, Lady Jaina," the queen of the dragons said with sincere sadness. "But we can heal the land and memorialize what had been built here, and the lives of those who died here. We can choose life over death." The dragon queen gently closed Jaina's fingers over the delicate looking flower and held her hands. She tilted her head slightly and smiled kindly. "Out of the ashes and darkness new life can begin."

"This is a cutting from Nordrassil, grafted to one of the great oaks from the shrine of my sister's flight," Ysera told Jaina. Jaina had begun to suspect but she still gasped at the confirmation.

"It is uncorrupted by Staghelm's machinations and has been carefully tended by the combined efforts of the guardians in Hyjal and my own flight. Few places in the world can sustain a daughter tree such as this one. Theramore, which has seen such devastation and ruin, has been transformed into one such a place."

Ysera glanced back at the tree then returned her gaze to Jaina. She could feel the heavy weight of the green's years but there was a sparkling lightness present within the former aspect. Awake, alert and present, she smiled. "This tree is named Falahdrassil. Thank you for allowing her to watch over your island, Lady Jaina." She ducked her head in a small bow Jaina returned on autopilot. She was still stunned.

Falahdrassil. 'Crown of Balance' or the 'Balanced Crown' if her Darnassian wasn't too rusty. Jaina watched as the people who'd been gathered together, who had been standing in separate groups, drifted forward, the lines between them blurring. Jaina returned her attention to the dragons.

Alexstrasza bowed her head closer and spoke quietly. "I hope you may one day find some measure of peace here, Jaina."

She nodded. "This is beyond... Thank you." The island, her island, had been utterly transformed. And that was both painful and yet a relief. She wouldn't have to look at the crater anymore. There was life here again. Peace might be possible for her here.

"Thank your mate. None of us would have thought it was a possibility if Kalec hadn't mentioned that a sapling might be able to take root here, and that such a thing might be welcome." Ysera told her.

"He has a remarkable gift for inspiring others to do the right thing," Alexstrasza mused.

Jaina laughed, though it was slightly watery. "He does, doesn't he?"

"You have as well," the Dragon Queen told her. "I know you helped him to help the rest of us."

"Azeroth needs you. You all have so much to teach."

"As it needs people like you," Alexstrasza told her, placing a hand on either shoulder. "You are growing out of the ashes as well and I am grateful we have not lost another soul to darkness." She leaned forward and placed a motherly kiss on Jaina's brow. "Be kind to yourself, little seedling."

"I will do my best."

"Our best is all we can do in the end," Alexstrasza said. She withdrew to speak quietly with Nobundo. Ysera went to speak with the Night Elves. The crowd was wandering around at the base of the tree, stunned and dazed by the amount of magic that had just passed through the area.

Jaina closed her eyes. She could _feel_ the tree as it fed on and fed into the natural ley lines that ran through the area. One of the children laughed. Jaina's eyes flew open as two of the children left their minders and ran up the side of the hill, clearly intent on climbing. Boys with flaming red hair; Galadin, the wilder twin, his brother Giramar in tow.

"Boys!" Vereesa called after them, part outrage, part amusement, part exasperation. Her sons paused.

Jaina met her friend's eyes and shook her head, smiling slightly. It had been more than a year since there had been any laughter and joy here. Vereesa considered long moment then sighed.

"Don't ruin your robes," she called after them, stalking forward to oversee their shenanigans more closely. The ranger-general didn't look back at Jaina as she approached the tree, her steps slowing as she looked up into the branches.

The solemn air was broken as the children raced ahead to join Rhonin's boys attempting to climb the tree. Alexstrasza drifted forward with watchful eyes and a soft smile, watchful lest any of the children fall. The Sentinels hurried forward then slowed to reverent steps. The murmur around her was impressed and pleased. Happy. Jaina closed her eyes again, throat burning.

Heavy feet shuffled to a halt. Jaina opened her eyes. Kalec smiled tentatively. "I hope you don't mind. I-" he was cut off as she threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly, burying her face against his neck. He recovered and wrapped his arms around her. "I wanted you to have something beautiful here. Something to match your good memories of this place," he told her.

"It's perfect," she whispered in a wavering voice. "It's perfect," she repeated, unable to verbalize her feelings more articulately. She held him tightly, hoping he might understand. Maybe she could find the proper order for her words later.

Pained would have been honored to become part of the legacy of Nordrassil even in a small way. Tervosh would have found the magic fascinating. Kinndy would have lost hours reading in the shade of the tree. It was tall and strong like Rhonin and so many of the seventh fleet had been. It had taken the scarred dead land and made it green and lovely again. The violet dust that had mixed into the soil would be absorbed into the new life of the tree.

"Thank you," Jaina whispered.

"I just helped. It wasn't much. Ysera has been working on this for awhile now. Since Tyr's artifact. She has a small grove she wants to plant around the world. I just wanted to see you smile here again."

"Stop being so humble," she laughed into his neck. Balance. A tree blessed by four flights, nature and helped by the spirits. A new world tree grown in a place of utter devastation. She shivered. Had the name been picked to honor its growth or was it prophetic?

Kalec pressed a small kiss to her temple then led her over to the tree. Those present gave her some space. The huge tree was so large it was easy to simply walk to the other side to give her relative privacy. Jaina placed a hand on the trunk. The bark was rough and healthy under the fingers. Magic permeated the tree entirely. She could feel it flowing up from the ley lines, into the branches and back down again into the world. The darkness of the island had lifted, the dead emptiness fleeing like shadows before dawn. Falahdrassil. A crown of balance. Something good healing over the mark evil had made. Her friends would have been so pleased. Jaina felt the tension drain away from her shoulders. She leaned against the steady trunk of the massive tree. 

"Anduin was right," she mused mostly to herself. "They taught me so much here." She looked up. Galadin waved down then resumed speaking with one of the children in white and blue. His brother, the more studious one, was seated on a higher branch, feet swinging as he read from a small book he'd hidden in his tunic. Jaina closed her eyes and smiled a little. She wasn't certain how they'd managed to get up there at all.

Jaina wiped at her eyes again. Kalec stepped closer, a warm hand at her back. "They will not ask you to give up your island in case you were concerned about that," the blue dragon said quietly. "I think some greens might wish to move into the area. Many of Ysera's flight have learned to like working with druids and shaman of the younger races."

She had not been afraid of her island being taken again until Kalec had spoken. They would mean well but the druids were territorial around their world trees, big and small. But Theramore was her island and anyone who'd come in peace had been largely welcome. Where the tree now stood, she'd hosted many meetings with visiting mages, hunters, sailors and crafters. And held clandestine meetings of peace in her parlor. She remembered the times when she'd taken rowboats out to meet with members of the Horde to try to build friendships. She recalled the very last times she'd had such meetings. Because of Baine Bloodhoof's honor, there were survivors. Some we now in the tree's branches, speaking with the sons of the man who'd saved her life.

The lady of lost Theramore let out a long breath, her eyes meeting Kalec's. She took his hand and drew him along behind her. The sleepy, calm power which had already begun to emanate from the new tree touched her, bringing clarity to her thoughts. Even if those thoughts terrified her. A scream clawed up the back of her throat, warring with the strange serenity.

She found Ysera speaking with Malfurion, Nobundo and Tyrande. They turned their attention to her as one. Jaina mentally acknowledged the collective age and wisdom among these people, for even Nobundo was her elder by a century of more. But this was _her_ island. She dropped Kalec's hand and he stood at her back.

Anduin and Varian had come closer, waiting to speak with her once she was done with this group. She invited them with a small jerk of her head then returned her attention to the ancients before her.

Jaina lifted her chin and met their eyes in turn, falling last on Tyrande. "I know this will become a sacred space for many."

"It already was," Tyrande said, steel under velvet, yet her expression one of compassion. When she'd been accuser at the trial she'd made no secret of her sorrow, and anger, for what had happened to the island.

Jaina nodded once, the burning ache in her throat rising. She forced it down. " _All_ must be welcome here."

And like admitting the Horde was not Garrosh, or that she needed to allow a peace process in Dalaran, the weight lifted. The scream faded. She could feel the rightness, even if part of her still shook in fear.

"I welcomed everyone who came in peace," Jaina told the group. "So did my people." She glanced at Varian for before addressing Tyrande. "I know it was not popular, but I did it, because I felt it was right. I know it will not be popular now either, but this is still my island. We welcomed mages, warriors, hunters, sailors, druids, merchants, archeologists and more."

Jaina looked at the shaman, the representative from the Earthen Ring. " _All_ who come in peace will be welcome here." She ignored the small noises from Varian and Kalec.

"After all," she said, looking between Tyrande and the neutral Ysera, " _You_ were the ones who named it Falahdrassil. How can there be balance if some are barred?"

Ysera smirked, eyes narrowing in delight. Tyrande frowned a little before her face smoothed over, fathomless gaze darting to one side as they were joined by another.

"Jaina." Vereesa's voice snapped in cold rebuke. The storm of rage was directed at her this time. "You cannot possibly-"

" _All_ who come in peace are welcome in Theramore," Jaina interrupted, the serenity fraying at the edges. This place had been hers. The people had been hers. She'd waged her war for peace from here and they had supported her even if they hadn't entirely understood her at times. She faced Vereesa squarely, heart hammering in her chest, nearly drowning out the sound of the children gamboling around in the branches and under the tree. Survivors. Alive because she had been warned.

"You can't-"

"I can," Jaina said, the shaky tranquility wavering before it solidified. "This is still my home. My territory. I still make the rules here." She felt lightheaded with how right each word sounded, drowning out the howling, wounded animal in the back of her mind, the scream an echo of the one she'd heard herself make in the vision at the trial. She could control this and it would be good. She would make it good.

"Jaina-" Vereesa cut herself off, hands fisted.

"Giramar might be a mage. Galadin might be a ranger. They might both become bakers. They should be as welcome here as well as any druid, shaman or green dragon," Jaina explained, trying to reach her friend with reasoning. _And such wondrous creation wasn't to be hoarded_ she thought to herself, _not by me or anyone. Magic should be valued, not hoarded._

They both knew she'd been implying allowing people and races traditionally allied to the Horde onto the island. Vereesa stood straight and proud, eyes giving away nothing. Jaina met her gaze, unwavering. _It is right, it is right, it is right,_ whispered in her thoughts like wind through the tree's branches. She couldn't say the words explicitly. Not yet. But she could enable it happening at all.

Windrunner nodded once, sharply. "I suppose you are empowered to do as you wish in your own territory."

Jaina swallowed. Careful words, each one slicing a little deeper. Would pursuit of peace lead her to ruin again? Would Dalaran erupt into civil war? Was opening herself up like this an invitation to more grief? As if reading her thoughts, Kalec took a half step closer on her right. Varian Wrynn was a second massive presence on her left. It was right to take charge of this moment, to guide it to a path close to the one she'd walked before. She knew better now.

Her friend's eyes darted across the assembled group. They tightened before she inclined her head in the barest amount of respect. Then the elf turned on her heel and called her sons down. They went, more excited about the magic they'd witnessed and the tree they had climbed all over, than they were sad about the reason they had come to Theramore. The same mage who'd brought them to the island whisked them back to Dalaran.

Silent and still until they were gone, Jaina wished she could scream. Instead she stepped back between Kalec and Varian. Kalec's hand engulfed hers. Varian put a hand on her shoulder briefly. Anduin looked at her with naked hope. Nozdormu had already departed but Alexstrasza drifted closer, curious and concerned. Others had followed, drawn by the tense standoff between the two women.

Jaina wished to sink into the earth. She had not wanted a huge audience for her disagreements with Vereesa. She did not particularly like large audiences at all. She absolutely didn't like disagreeing with someone who had become a close friend. 

"My flight will certainly abide by your rules in your territory, Lady Spell Weaver," Ysera said, amusement coloring her voice, but she sounded genuine rather than mocking. At her side Kalec made a tiny sound she couldn't interpret. Alexstrasza pursed her lips against a laugh.

Narrowing her eyes, Jaina fixed the ancient dragon with a hard look. "You will, or you will not be welcome either. This island has seen too much conflict and death. I will abide no more." 

The ground under Anduin's feet crunched as he shifted his weight, looking from the dragon to his aunt. Frost coated the new grass. Jaina exhaled and the frost evaporated. She shivered a little as she released the power she'd gathered. 

Ysera inclined her head, deeper than Jaina had expected. She glanced aside at Alexstrasza then spoke for them both, her tone formal. "It will be as you say among the dragon flights."

"And among the shamans of the Earthen Ring," Nobundo said.

Malfurion glanced at his wife then bowed his head in agreement for the Cenarion Circle. Tyrande was the one who spoke. "The Night Elves will not shed blood here either. It is, as you said, a scared space." She did not sound entirely happy by the unspoken implication, but she was more willing to accept it than Vereesa had been.

Jaina looked up at Varian. He gave her the barest hint of a shrug. "This is your island," he said, his voice low. His eyes were hooded in concern, tight at the corners, but he did not deny her decision.

She nodded curtly, the hand not held shaking. She balled it into a fist. Untrusting of her ability to speak, Jaina instead bowed courteously. She squeezed Kalec's fingers, tugging gently, then dropped his hand. She walked away from the group, needing to be away from the scrutiny, the sudden press of so many bodies even if they were supportive. She almost wanted to flee her own decision.

The hill was not the same. It was lower. City walls no longer blocked her view of the sea. New grass whispered under her feet as she crossed to sit under the boughs. Kalec followed, having taken her tacit invitation. He sat beside her, silent but there. She put her hand over his and stared out to sea. Everything here had been changed. Yet it was also her familiar home still, the essence of the area restored at least in some small part.

The sisters left, their scales flashing in the sun as they circled the site once then flew away on iridescent wings. The others began to leave as well using portals constructed by the same mages who'd brought them here. Jaina absently heard the minders call the children together. They stopped before her and each one needed to give her a hug or a little bow before they left as an excited mob.

The clatter of plate nearby was Varian. He settled to the ground with a sigh. Anduin sat beside his father, apparently uncaring if he got grass stains on his nice formal clothing. They said nothing but simply were there if she needed. Everyone else had gone and she was alone with family.

"Whatever it is you are thinking, Varian, please say it."

She caught his shrug out of the corner of her eye. He leaned on his knees and watched the sea before looking over at her. "You don't do anything by halves, do you, Jaina?"

Jaina's laugh was half sob.

"Hey, now." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into a hug.

The vision of the water wavered behind new tears. "I stand by what I said. About everyone being allowed here." _I can do this. It won't happen again._

"And I am glad you spoke up before the Cenarion circle set up a camp and never let anyone in ever again," Varian said.

"You understand the full implication?" Still, she couldn't say the words. If she did, they were real and she couldn't take them back.

"I do," Varian agreed. He squeezed her shoulder. "And I stand by what I said. This is your territory still. I will admit surprise." She flinched and he shook her shoulder gently. "A good surprise. No, it will not go over well with Genn and some of the others, but this is your land." He sighed and rested his hands on his knees. "After all that's happened, _no one_ is going to deny you the right to do as you please. Not here." Her king's tone implied he would oppose anyone who tried to deny her.

"It's a statement," she observed, finding Anduin. He was silent, eyes wide. Stunned. Hopeful. "A very loud statement."

_But was it right?_ part of her questioned. _Yes,_ was the answer in her heart. Despite everything, yes, it was right.

"I may not be able to convince the council in Dalaran," Jaina told her nephew. Her voice was rough with unshed tears; defiant. "But I can do this."

His hug was tight and sudden. She huffed a small laugh, startled, but returned the embrace. She wouldn't ever be the same as she'd been, but neither would her home. It had been transformed. So had Jaina. Her soul had been ravaged but she'd found healing. She had come far but she had further to go still. Peace was hard, but the mage wanted it again, wanted a break in the fighting if not a full stop. Like healing it would come with time and effort.

Monsters like Garrosh fed on the fears of war, the desire to destroy and dominate. She would resume pulling those teeth. Peace was a noble virtue and goal, but fear was powerful and trauma ran deep. Jaina's heart had been held in that dark maw. She'd come to understand the resistance to those ideals as she had not before; she would use that knowledge as a weapon and shield.

It would be slow and painful and she held no illusion she would be content and happy with her own decision about Theramore or Dalaran for a long time. She would fight in her own way and eventually, she would come to terms with the idea. Jaina kissed Anduin's forehead. Varian's hand was on his son's shoulder. Kalec's hand rubbed her back, wordlessly supportive. Despite the pain and fear, Jaina found a small smile. She wasn't fighting alone anymore. 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reblogged this over on Tumblr. Thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments or who sent me a note! You made my day every time you liked, added Kudos, commented or reblogged it and I appreciate it! 
> 
> imp_roper_keming, Jueru, Jayyefire, hukomuyo, Shadow_Wolf75, Adonria, charlieithilin, backwards_wordsmith, ashlee1068, Shinobitokobot, Labradoodles_and_Muffins, ILovePizzaFiCs, aerographer (redpixelamps), Whiskeyjack, fluffynexu, MelanaAdara, HikaruAdjani, YTDN, shahrizai, Alenerien, Thesseli, VividVert, Russell Chee, SkoomaCat, Symna, Bionitelke, Jthorsten!
> 
> Thank you anonymous guests for the Kudos! I love you too!
> 
>  
> 
> This ended up becoming a much larger work than I expected. I fully thought I would be done with the entire planned story arc by Legion release. Turns out not so much, but I will be getting this portion done before then!
> 
> What is next for me is working on the various and sundry projects I have related to this AU. I have two other fics which operate more or less in parallel to this one and the upcoming sequel fic I will be posting at the same time I post this final chapter of Red Crane. I do hope you follow me over there to Spellweaver, which deals directly with the fallout of this story! Yes, I will be continuing Kalec/Jaina as a comment asked if I would. Current plans also have a Modera, Vereesa, Varian and Andun playing large roles with many more characters set to appear. I hope you all follow me over there.
> 
> Spellweaver  
> Summary: After the trial of Garrosh Hellscream, Jaina Proudmoore found much needed healing in Pandaria. She learned to let go of her blinding rage and hatred and began to walk the path of recovery. She now leads Dalaran with an eye towards supporting armistice talks at the behest of Anduin Wrynn. 
> 
> However, not everyone has been as successful in letting go of their hatred.


End file.
